Chapter 16 #2
His office wasn’t fancy by any means; it was basically a closet that they’d shoved a desk and a lamp into, though he’d managed to squeeze a chair in the corner so that Jean-Baptiste had somewhere to sit when he came by to bother him.
Most people probably would have taken more time off after a traumatic brain injury, but Jamie wanted to be back as soon as humanly possible. And it was working. Whether it was a routine, the therapy, or sex with Caleb, he didn’t know. But he was finally, finally starting to feel more like himself.
Pippa had mocked him mercilessly for it when he was a kid—begging their mum to bring him here so he could be around old books.
Smiling to himself, Jamie nudged his notepad aside and pulled out his mobile.
Hey Pip. Remember when mum used to bring us to the British Library when we were kids?
A little bubble appeared.
Pippa
Yeah… it was stupid.
Jamie snorted, picturing her younger self throwing a fit about being dragged to look at books when they could’ve gone to the adventure playground instead. He typed back.
Come visit soon.
A notification popped up on his mobile. He tapped it.
Caleb
Working late tonight so I won’t be home until 9. Off tomorrow.
Jamie frowned at his phone and set it aside. His cheeks flamed thinking back to last night in bed.
Are you going to let me take care of you tonight, too?
He was such a bloody idiot. Why had he said that? If Caleb wanted to touch him or sleep with him, he would. Jamie had been giving every signal short of writing please fuck me on his forehead, and Caleb still wouldn’t bite. So why was he chasing him around like a desperate schoolboy?
The sex helped a ton; he couldn’t deny that. He felt less irritable and moody. Even his headaches had improved. And Christ, Caleb knew how to make him feel good. But why wouldn’t he let Jamie do anything for him?
He glanced down at his body. Did Caleb not find him attractive anymore? That would explain it. His body had changed after the accident. His biking muscles had softened, but it wasn’t his fault. He still wasn’t allowed to bike.
Or maybe Jamie didn’t act as sexy as he used to? Had he had more game before the accident, and now Caleb just didn’t feel that…spark?
Jamie frowned down at Caleb’s message. It still didn’t quite make sense because anytime they fooled around, Caleb was definitely hard as a rock.
Picking his phone back up, Jamie pushed through the wave of embarrassment and typed into Google: “How to seduce your boyfriend?”
His eyes widened as they flitted over the first few results.
“Do you have naked photos on there or something?”
Jamie nearly flung his phone across the room and toppled out of his chair at the sound of the familiar French accent.
“Jesus, JB,” he said, clutching the edge of the desk as he righted himself. Once he was settled back in his chair, he adjusted his glasses.
Chuckling to himself, JB strolled into the room and dropped neatly into the chair in the corner, primly hiking up his pant leg to cross his long limbs.
“No, I was not looking at naked photos,” Jamie said, averting his eyes from the devilish smirk in front of him. “I was…erm, texting my sister.”
“Ah,” JB drawled as he tugged on his cuffs. “If you do not have naked photos on there, why do you look so guilty?” JB lifted a perfectly groomed eyebrow. “Come on, chéri, tell me they’re of Caleb.”
“JB!” Jamie gaped. His accent had always flustered Jamie, but when he spoke French like that?! Ellie had once described Jean-Baptiste’s voice as one that should be narrating smutty audiobooks.
JB’s shoulders shook as he laughed. “What? Your American is…how do you say?” He swept a thin hand around in the air. “Très beau. Very beautiful.”
Jamie ducked his head, heat creeping up his neck. “I know he is,” he muttered to himself.
“What has you so flustered, chéri?”
“I, erm…” Jamie swallowed. “Well, I… I am trying to seduce Caleb?”
A Cheshire grin spread on JB’s face. Jamie quickly added, “I just… we are stuck in sort of a weird pattern right now.” Jamie felt his neck get hot. Pattern was a creative way of putting it. “And I want to, erm, try for him?”
JB’s eyebrows pinched together. “Try… in bed?”
Jamie palmed the back of his neck. “Well, also just in general. I want to be sexier… in general. For him.”
JB scooted closer, concerned now. “You do not think you are sexy?”
“Not really.”
“You have been doing things together, yes?”
“Um, well. Some things. Not…” Jamie squeezed his eyes shut, the image of Caleb sucking him off on his knees a few nights ago flashing in his brain. “I want more than what we’re doing. I want to go… further.”
A beat of silence.
“My love,” JB said softly, dipping his head to catch Jamie’s eye. “What is it that you fear?”
“I guess I’m just nervous.”
“Jamie, he put a ring on your finger.” JB smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I think he wants what you want, no?”
Jamie fidgeted in his seat.
“I know that, it’s just…” His heart sank. “I’m not the same guy he proposed to, JB. I’m… different now.”
“Jamie…”
“No, it’s true. I may never be that guy again. And I don’t want to wait anymore for my memories to come back. If he doesn’t want this version of me, then—” Tears prickled the corner of Jamie’s eyes. He planted his elbows on his desk and let his head fall into his hands.
“Oh, chéri.” The pity in JB’s voice made Jamie wince.
“I know it’s dumb. I’m a bloody idiot.”
He heard JB scoot his chair closer to Jamie’s desk and snatch up his phone. Jamie looked through the cracks of his fingers and asked, “Who are you texting on my phone?”
“We are going to make sure Caleb is free on Saturday night, yes?” JB winked. “Plenty of time for us to make a seduction plan.”