Chapter 17
“You forgot my name,” Angie muttered across the table to Jamie, “but apparently, you didn’t forget how to kick my arse at Catan.”
Will snorted from his seat next to Angie.
“Hey!” Caleb called across the room. “Angie, really?”
Caleb glanced at Jamie, looking for any signs that he was offended by Angie’s insensitive comment, but he found none.
Instead, Jamie grinned at Angie, big and boyish, as he rolled the dice across the multi-colored board.
They clattered loudly before rolling to a stop.
His smile widened devilishly as Angie groaned and hung her head.
Over in the living room, Caleb and Ellie were locked in a wobbly round of Jenga, though Caleb was only half paying attention.
“Your turn,” Ellie pointed out, snapping him back to their game.
The two of them had long since accepted that they were the least competitive of the group. Caleb had no patience for rules, and Ellie had no patience for people.
Game nights weren’t really Caleb’s thing—mostly because their friend group took the games way too seriously—but Jamie loved them.
Back before the accident, they were his absolute favorite days of the whole month.
It was adorable, and Caleb was willing to knock down some Jenga tiles with Ellie if it made his man happy.
Games were Jamie’s comfort zone.
He came alive when he had something in his hands, when the pressure to make small talk was replaced with an excuse to talk strategy. So when Caleb had suggested bringing them back, Jamie lit up like a kid, so Caleb organized one for that Friday.
“Y’alright, Caleb?” Ellie asked, sipping the beer she’d brought and leaning back on the couch. Caleb was studying the Jenga tower, deciding which tile to pull out without destroying the entire thing.
“Am I, like… alright? Or are you doing that British thing where you’re like ‘y’alright’?
Ellie scrunched up her nose at Caleb’s terrible British impersonation. “I mean, how are you doing, jackass?”
“I’m doing fine.” Glancing over his shoulder at the table, he lowered his voice. “J seems happy, doesn’t he?”
“Didn’t ask about Jamie. Asked about you.”
He looked up. Ellie’s expression held no sarcasm; she was dead serious. Her eyes narrowed suspiciously, and Caleb thought back to a few nights ago.
Are you going to let me take care of you tonight, too?
Those words, and then the way Jamie’s face fell when Caleb didn’t respond.
“Ah fuck, he’s been talking to you.”
“Yeah,” she said. “Why are you being weird about Jamie?”
“I’m not being weird. We’re just taking things slow.”
She snorted. “Why? He’s obsessed with you.”
“Was,” Caleb muttered. “Was obsessed with me.”
She frowned. “I’ve never known you to be insecure when it comes to Jamie.” The corner of her lip twitched. “Except about me. And Jean-Baptiste.”
His defenses flew up immediately. “I was not insecure about you. Or JB.”
“Of course you were.” She rolled her eyes and flicked her braid over her shoulder, yanking a tile from the tower.
“I’m adorable, and Jean-Baptiste is… well, Jean-Baptiste.
That made sense.” She glanced at Jamie, who was laughing at something Will had said.
His eyes were lit up with joy, and it made Caleb’s heart expand.
“You putting a wall up between you and Jamie… doesn’t make sense. ”
Caleb swallowed and looked for a spot to put his tile, hoping his skin was dark enough to hide his blush. The tower was getting dangerously wobbly now. “It’s not the same as before, El.”
Ellie slipped a tile from the middle and confidently placed it on top. “How’s it not the same?”
“Because I’m in love with him, and he’s not in love with me.”
Her eyes flicked to his, and they stared at each other for a moment. His words hung in the air, and her brows pulled together as they sank in.
“If his memories don’t come back, he may not fall in love with me again.” Caleb shrugged, letting her make her own conclusions. “He’s my whole family, Ellie.”
“Is that why you’re paying for him to have more therapy than his insurance covers?”
Caleb’s eyes widened. “What? How did you—?”
“I work in a hospital, Caleb. I know how insurance works.”
“Did you tell him?”
“No.” Her eyes flicked to Jamie and back. “But I think you should. It can’t be cheap, all those extra sessions.”
His stomach turned. It wasn’t cheap, but it was more than worth it.
“Hey, Caleb?” A rare flash of softness flickered over Ellie’s face. “He will. Fall in love with you again, I mean.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because he did before.”
With a deep breath, Caleb tapped on a tile a few times to see if it was loose enough to slide out. It came halfway out before the tower leaned aggressively to one side. He paused. “Do you believe in fate, Ellie?”
“No,” she said quickly. Of course she didn’t. “Do you?”
“I’m not sure,” he said honestly, leaning back as the tower wobbled.
“I think that moments and events in our lives lead us to who we end up with. Who we are, and everything. I think I met Jamie in that bar, years ago, by total coincidence, and every moment together led us to falling in love.” He poked at the tile a little more, knowing that this was probably the end of their game.
“And then those moments were stolen from him.”
With one final tap, the tile came free, and the tower collapsed.
Jamie smiled at the message on the screen.
Caleb
I’ll be home and ready to leave at 6. What should I wear?
It was Saturday, and Jamie had a reservation at the perfect restaurant for tonight. Remembering JB’s words of advice about keeping the restaurant mysterious, Jamie typed back.
Nothing formal needed. Denims are fine.
Caleb
Can’t wait :)
“Hello, James.” Doctor Wilson strode into the exam room and immediately took a seat at her computer.
“Looking at your scans, everything looks to be in good shape. I’ve also reviewed notes from each of your therapists, and they all report improvement.
Any new symptoms? Any significant memories returned? ”
“Uh… no and no.”
The doctor gave a curt nod and started typing on her laptop. Jamie was used to her no-nonsense methods at this point, and he already had his answers prepared before he got there.
The last four appointments were the same. No new symptoms—though some had improved—and no significant memories returned.
“Any muscle memory improvement?”
Huh, that’s a new question.
His confusion must have shown on his face because she turned to him and clarified, “Are you doing things automatically without thinking? Reaching for the sugar, for example, and finding it right in the spot you reach for it.”
Jamie’s eyebrows pinched together. “Oh. I suppose a bit. I’ve been able to pick up directions around SoHo much faster than I usually would. And I’ve never lived there before.”
She nodded and typed away.
“And I…” He paused, suddenly embarrassed. “Well, sometimes I reach for things automatically. Without thinking.”
Like Caleb.
Her keyboard clacked away. She asked a few more questions and stood.
“I’m happy to see you improving, Jamie. I know it’s disappointing not to see your memories come back. But the most important thing right now is your brain health.”
“So is there no chance my memories will come back?”
“There’s always a small chance. But in cases like this, I rarely see cognitive memories come back.
Your brain has those memories locked away.
It’s more likely that, if anything, your body will remember things.
So I would focus on that. Listen to your instincts and be curious when your body gives you signals that maybe don’t match what your brain is telling you. ”
So basically, he’d never remember?
Jamie tried to hide the tremble in his voice.“Oh…okay.”
She gave a rare, soft smile. “I’m proud of you, James. I’m glad you’ve really committed to long-term therapy sessions. I know it’s not always easy to make it work with insurance, but I can see it is helping you drastically.”
“Right.” Jamie looked down at his phone. One hour until he left for dinner with Caleb. “Thank you.”
“I’ll see you in a month.”
A tiny thought from the back of his mind niggled its way forward and, as the doctor turned and reached for the door handle, he stopped her.
“Doctor Wilson?”
“Yes?”
“What do you mean? It’s not always easy to make therapy work with insurance?”
“Oh. I just mean for some people, the cost is prohibitive.”
He frowned. “But the NHS covers them, right?”
She looked down at the chart in her hands, then back up. “Just the first three sessions, I believe.”
“The first three?”
“It’s okay. The additional sessions and additional time are covered through April.” She tilted her head. “You did not know this?”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Uh, no. So my… partner. He’s been paying for the extra time?”
“He arranged it with the hospital back in January.” Her expression shifted. “I am sorry. I assumed that you knew this.”
His heart dropped. Caleb had lied straight to his face.
“Okay.” Jamie turned to leave. “Thank you, Angelina.”
On the train ride home, Jamie did some digging into all of his other therapy appointments, researching what was covered by NHS and what Caleb was paying for himself. If his calculations were correct, Caleb was paying a lot out of his own pocket for Jamie’s medical expenses.
So, then, why had he lied? If Caleb knew him at all, he would know that Jamie would not feel comfortable with this arrangement.
He opened up his phone to see the recent message from Caleb.
Caleb
Can’t wait :)
Jamie frowned at it, a pit forming in his stomach where his excitement had just been.