Chapter 24
Trapped beneath a pile of soft quilts, surrounded by bags of chips and bottles of sparkling water, and enclosed between two silky couch pillows, Jamie stared at the flatscreen TV in the den and gave herself carpal tunnel by playing a first-person shooter for five hours straight.
I couldn’t sleep last night. It was nine in the morning by now.
Etta had only begun to stir in the nearby bedroom, Beatrice walking up and down the hallway with mail before breakfast. Did she miss me last night?
Probably not. Etta slept like a comatose patient most nights.
Ever since her workload lifted – thanks in part to her occasionally flaky business partner – she was finally sleeping more and taking days off.
She even slept in one day, and that was crazy.
Not Jamie. Ever since the engagement party, she found it harder to sleep, whether Etta spooned her or flopped onto the far side of the bed.
Last night was brutal. After sleeping three hours, Jamie woke up for two.
She played on her phone. She tried to read a book.
Finally, she got up and came into the den to watch TV.
When she didn’t find anything on, she turned on her game, content to play until she was too sleepy to continue.
Now, five hours later, she was still in the den. Mostly because two hours ago, someone spotted her online and demanded a co-op play.
“Where the hell is your head?” Nala said into Jamie’s headset. “That’s the fifth guy who’s blasted you these past ten minutes.”
“Sorry,” Jamie mumbled. “Screwed up.” The game over screen was not her best friend right now.
Yet every time she saw it, she found her chance to stretch and eat some chips.
Breakfast of champions. “I’m not awake right now.
” Neither was Nala. It was six where she lived on the West Coast. Yet when someone said, “I’m on break after some brutal midterms, so I demand some co-op until my thumbs go numb and I can’t see anymore,” Jamie felt compelled to oblige.
She was becoming more of a people pleaser as time went by.
“You okay over there?”
Sighing, Jamie pulled her wireless controller over her head so she could experience the greatest stretch on Earth.
Beatrice passed by the archway again, peeking in and shaking her head.
She probably thought Jamie was no better than a teenager right now.
Hormones are dicks. Yeah, she would blame everything on that.
Even so, that’s not what came out of her mouth.
“It’s all this wedding planning. It’s got me staying up way past my bedtime with too many stressful thoughts.”
Jamie still had yet to click through the menu, taking her to the next loading screen. It told her that Nala was ready to go, so when Jamie didn’t uphold her end of the gaming bargain, a testy voice popped in over the line.
“I don’t envy you having to plan a wedding. Fuck weddings. I don’t like going to them.”
“I don’t like going to them either. I just got done being the maid of honor at a huge wedding in February.”
“Oh, no, did you catch the bouquet?”
“Yeah, how did you know?”
“That’s my nightmare.”
Jamie laughed, flinging her body across the couch and pulling the covers around her head.
Might be time to go back to bed for a few hours.
Etta said something about phone conferences before lunch, and for her, lunch usually meant one at the earliest. Then I want her to cuddle me for the rest of the day.
Not that she would get to experience that sort of bliss.
They had wedding plans to go over. Ugh. More wedding shit. Forget it!
“You’re not planning on getting married anytime soon, are you?”
Nala made a sound that was akin to a cow dying.
“I take that as a no.”
“Give me a break. I just started school. I’m also like... twenty-two. If I’m ever getting married, it’s at least a few years from now. Besides, maybe I’ll dump my woman and move on to a better model.” She said that loud enough to alert anyone in her vicinity.
“I didn’t think I would be getting married for a while, either.”
“So don’t curse me. I like my girlfriend staying exactly that.” Was it possible to hear someone shudder? Because it sounded like Nala was shuddering.
“Fine line between love and engagements.”
“You’re telling me. I love the kinky weirdo… and she’s kinky, know what I mean.”
Jamie cleared her throat. “Go on.”
“Ooh, you’re naughty. Let’s say I left her passed out in bed with her cute butt hanging out of the covers. Looked like a cheeky magazine model. You know, the kind who advertises underwear without even wearing them.”
“I like where this is going.”
“Me too, and I’m the one who screwed her brains out before going to sleep at like eight. Which is why I’m up at this ungodly hour.”
“I heard that,” someone said in the background. “Who are you talking to? If you’re going to talk about my cheeky butt…”
Jamie checked out at, “Who cares. Make me some breakfast.” I left Etta wearing all her clothes.
Pajama clothes, but clothes, nonetheless.
She had taken to sleeping in a sweatshirt recently, even though it was an easy seventy degrees in their room, and Jamie often had episodes of sweating when she was hormonal.
Etta was a furnace. Ah, that was probably why Jamie couldn’t sleep.
When things quieted down on the other line, Jamie asked, “You’re coming to the wedding anyway, right?”
“I mean, if I can. It will be right after my semester is over, so we might be able to make it. I know Ven wants to go out there again, anyway.”
“All right…” Jamie had half a mind to embarrass herself and ask this woman she was still barely friends with if she would be a bridesmaid.
She was sorely lacking them, and Jenny was constantly on her ass about it.
Nothing was more important than having a dozen women flanking her at a wedding.
“I promise I won’t throw the bouquet to you. ”
“Oh, well, if you promise.”
“I wouldn’t lie about something like that.”
As a blast of sunlight came through the window and shielded the TV, Etta walked into the room, still dressed in her sweatshirt and pants.
Her hair didn’t look much better, either.
“How long have you been out here?” she asked.
“I woke up over an hour ago, and you weren’t there. Thought you were in the bathroom.”
Jamie slowly turned to look at her again. “For an hour?”
Etta shrugged. “I don’t ask questions regarding that.”
“I couldn’t sleep, so I’ve been out here.”
Between both girlfriends making their appearances, Jamie and Nala decided to disconnect and get back to their relationships. Jamie pulled off her headset and turned off the TV with the remote. Etta picked up a binder she had left on a nearby chair and flipped it open, frowning.
“Anything you wanna talk about?”
Jamie pulled herself off the couch, quilt still wrapped around her shoulders. She went to Etta, resting her head against her fiancée’s arm. “We still need to pick a venue.”
“If we don’t pick one soon, Jenny is going to kill us both.”
“Something like that.”
Etta wrapped her arm around Jamie. “I should be home all day, but I need to sequester myself in my office right after breakfast to do the phone conference. Then you can have me.”
“I’m going back to bed.”
“I was about to suggest that.”
“Uh-huh.” Jamie dumped the quilt on the couch. “See you later.”
She slammed onto the bed, having enough time to crawl beneath the covers before her eyelids grew too heavy to bear.
While she never entered the heavy sleep her body ultimately craved, she did doze for a good while, soaking up the sunshine as it came through the bedroom window and taking solace in the fact that a lazy day lay ahead.
No account for how many hours had passed when Etta wandered back into the bedroom, kissed her forehead, and dressed in pants and a loose cotton shirt.
For her, that was casual daywear. It’s amazing she’s not wearing a suit to stay home.
Etta would never spend a day at home wearing jeans and a T-shirt.
The only times those pigs flew were when they were staying at the penthouse, and it was unlikely they would have guests who cared about how she was dressed.
Luckily for Etta, she loved her Italian clothes.
“Five more minutes,” Jamie mumbled when she snuggled up next to her.
“It’s lunchtime.”
“I can eat it in five minutes.”
Jamie stayed true to her word and headed downstairs. She replaced her sleep shorts with jeans, but she still wore a baggy, faded T-shirt. Her hair was unkempt. She probably smelled. If Etta noticed and cared, she didn’t let it show as they sat down to salads and sandwiches.
This was the perfect opportunity to start talking about the wedding, so Jamie pulled out her binder and started going over details that Etta seemed more than reluctant to acknowledge.
She’s contributed her thoughts on the color, so that’s enough for her.
Not that Jamie would complain. Etta, for all her obvious disinterest, wasn’t going to tell her fiancée that she wouldn’t plan a wedding with her.
Something sounded in the distance.
“What was that?” Etta asked. When it didn’t happen again, she went back to looking at their list of available venues for the wedding. “Never mind. Must be construction out on the road. They’ve been trimming trees.”
Jamie shrugged. “I already knocked the country club off the list, even though Jenny swears she could easily get everything arranged there. I mean, you don’t care for the place, and we had our engagement party there…”
It happened again. This time louder, echoing outside as if the surrounding trees were running away from what was coming.
Etta turned in her seat, not that she could see anything through the wall.
Jamie stood up. Deep in the back corners of her mind, she thought of something. Something dire. Something terrifying.
I know that sound.
A horn. Beeping in a rhythmic pattern that imitated a classic song.
“Is that…” Etta joined her in standing up. Beatrice scuttled past the dining room door with Harris right behind her. “John Lennon’s ‘Imagine’?”
“No….” Jamie shot out of the room, disbelief clouding her as she shoved past the others. “No fucking way!”
“Jamie?”
“Miss?”
She reached the front doors and threw one open, stepping out into the sunlight without regard for the oncoming steps.
She somehow managed not to plummet down the stairs leading to the beige brick walkway.
She also somehow managed not to scream when she saw what came down the long driveway that carved through the trees.
“I haven’t seen one of those in twenty years.”
“I thought they all died out?”
“We are clearly losing our minds.”
Jamie knew there were people still standing behind her, but all she could concentrate on was the Volkswagen van careening down the driveway. The closer it got, the more she made out flower motifs, peace signs, and a swinging Buddha hanging from the front mirror.
And two very middle-aged hippies waving at her through the window.
“Uh…” Etta leaped back up the stairs when the van swung around the front fountain, kicking up dust and sending it over a line of neatly trimmed hedges. “Dare I ask?”
“Ask what?” Jamie could barely breathe.
“Ask if you know who this is?”
The engine shut off. Through a cloud of dust, two doors opened, and soon enough, people barreled through the cloud and tackled Jamie right off her feet and into another man’s arms.Arms she hadn’t felt wrapped this tightly around her since she was a little girl.
“Jamie!” they both cried, one pulling on her hair and the other patting her shoulder. “It’s so good to see you! How are you, honey?”
She nearly suffocated on their body odor and patchouli oil in their hair. “I’m… fine… what are you doing here?”
They released her, but not before the man descended upon Etta and clapped her on the shoulder. Etta was not a woman who showed fear in front of others, but she was visibly shaken, and Harris had pulled out his phone as if about to call the police.
“You must be Etta!” the man wearing corduroy pants and a peasant top exclaimed. “Let me get a look at the woman my little Jamie thinks she’s marrying!” He frowned. “Unless that’s Etta back there.” He pointed to Harris. “Not bad, not bad…”
“Someone want to tell me what’s going on?” Etta asked.
Jamie buried her face in her hands. “These are my parents.” She tried to remain calm. Really, really tried. “Trust me, they didn’t tell me they were coming.”
“We wanted to surprise you, honey!” Luna flung her long, gray braids over her shoulder and brought Jamie in for another hug. “I told you we were granted leave from the farm! Well, we’re here until the wedding!”
Until the wedding…
Which was over two months away…
“I…”
“Is this the gorgeous young woman?” Beaming like the sun shining overhead, Luna went to Etta and put two hands on her arms. “Etta, right? My daughter has exceptional tastes.”
“Mom.” Jamie spun around, ignoring her father as he scooped her up into another hug. “You’ve been here five minutes. How about you not hit on my fiancée?”
“Fiancée! Such a fancy title for a fancy woman!”
“Well… we have guests…” Beatrice pushed her way back into the house, probably en route to the nearest guest room to prepare it for the Joys. “Where did I put the vacuum…?”
Harris was left to organize this sudden intrusion.
Etta tried to escape back into the house more than once, but between Luna and Saul, Jamie’s father, there was no getting away from her future in-laws.
Jamie felt like she was watching lions descend upon a kill.
Luna put her hands all over Etta’s chest while Saul insisted on feeling the poor woman’s biceps, to make sure she was “strong enough” to take care of his little girl.
“The woman is stronger than she looks!” Saul cried to his wife. “Can’t believe it! Not bad for a suit.”
Oh. A suit.
That’s right.
Jamie never really told her parents who Etta was.
How much money she had. What she did for a living.
In part because it wasn’t really their business until now…
and because they were anti-capitalist protestors who once chained themselves to a post on Wall Street with the rest of their commune friends.
This was going to be a nightmare. Assuming Jamie lived to wake up from it.