Chapter 25 #2
Jamie glared at her. She didn’t mean to be so insubordinate to her mother…
and in theory, she regarded her mother with healthy levels of indifference and respect.
In theory. Trying to behave as such in front of Luna was an entirely different story.
“Mom, you do realize that I’m marrying a big bastion of capitalism, right?
Etta is one of the richest women this part of the country has ever seen.
She owns one of the biggest employers in the city.
She’s worth billions of dollars. Er, not liquid. Sorry.”
Luna continued to nod as if Jamie didn’t say anything of substance.
“Yes, yes, that’s plain as day. It’s your father who is in denial.
It doesn’t bother me as much. As traditional as it makes me sound, I’m glad to know you’re marrying someone who can make sure you’re taken care of, no matter what you decide to do.
Your father always talked about you dating the sons of our friends on the farm…
goodness, unless you want our kind of life, I don’t actually recommend it.
Takes a certain personality and, forgive me, but I don’t think you have it. ”
“Doesn’t bother me at all. I don’t want to work on a farm.”
“What do you want to do?”
She shrugged. “Still figuring that out.”
“Well, whatever it is, I’m sure that nice woman will support you. The way she looks at you… reminds me of how your father first looked at me when we started dating.” The wistful twinkle in Luna’s blue-gray eyes was almost darling. “I can only assume how she is in bed!”
Jamie flung herself over the arm of the couch, groaning much louder this time. “We’re not talking about that.”
“Come on, give your mother a tidbit. Like… how good is she?”
“Stop!” Jamie was going to cry.
“Don’t be embarrassed, honey. My daughter must be properly satisfied in all aspects of her relationship.
Your father can look into many things on my behalf, but this is…
well, if he found out anything, I’m sure Etta would find herself with a bloody nose.
Your father is all about free love until it comes to his little Jamie. ”
Then there’s no way in hell I’m sharing the kinky shit. Jamie lifted her head, glancing at her mother through blurry eyes. “I really don’t want to talk about our sex life.”
At least she didn’t hide the fact that she had one. That was the blessing in this situation. Her parents wouldn’t say anything about her and Etta sleeping together in their own house.
“Fine. Everything is fine in that department. I have no complaints.”
“Oh…” More giggling. Something was unnerving about a fifty-five-year-old woman laughing about her daughter’s sex life. “I was sure to hear that, wasn’t I? That woman is cute in more ways than one.”
“You could say that.”
“Very fertile looking… good hips.”
“Mom!”
“What! I notice these things!”
Jamie was trapped between crying and laughing. “Gonna bust your tits to know she’s been sterilized, then. That’s all on me if we want kids.”
“Oh… oh! Well, there must be a reason she did that. Like being exceptionally fertile.”
“I swear to God, Mom.”
“Fine, fine.” Luna got up, patting down her thick skirt and combing her fingers through her thicker hair. “Forgive my intrusions. We haven’t had quality girl talk in so long…”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” Jamie sighed, turning to her mother’s hug. “I’m glad you’re here, Mom.”
“Oh, don’t lie to me if you don’t mean it… I didn’t raise a woman who kisses ass.”
“I mean it. I’m glad you could make it to my wedding. I’d be sad if you couldn’t.”
Luna’s face softened, oozing maternal love. Her arms opened wider. “But?”
That’s who I get it from. Jamie hugged her mother, feeling that woman’s ample bosom push against her face.
When it was her mother, it was comforting.
Anyone else? Weird. “I wasn’t expecting you so soon.
We’re in the middle of planning the wedding, and I have things I need to tend to all the time. I hope you understand.”
“Don’t worry, honey. Your father and I can amuse ourselves quite easily. We were happy to find out you live up in these darling little hills. We might take a walk around tomorrow.”
“All right. Just remember that these are very private properties. I don’t want you accidentally – or purposely – trespassing.”
“Oh! Don’t worry! I didn’t tell your father that the man who had him arrested for protesting lives a few miles from here.”
“Oh, good.” With any luck, her parents wouldn’t be the death of her… and Jamie often felt like she was running out of luck lately.
“Etta was right,” Jenny said, taking the preliminary tour of the garden. “This would make a gorgeous place to have the ceremony. These colors alone are profound, and in June… can you imagine when all of these flowers are in bloom?”
“I’ve thought about it many times since she first suggested it.
” Jamie tugged on Barbarossa’s leash, pulling her bulbous cat out of the bushes and onto the brick path.
It was time for her walk, which amounted to whenever Jamie wanted to go outside on a sunny day.
Or when she had to go outside, such as when showing her wedding planner around the property.
Barbarossa, however, was more into chasing bugs and sniffing dirt.
“You were right,” Jenny continued. “It would be impossible to accommodate your guest list in this space. We’d have to rip out this whole part of the garden to sit half.”
“Yes, that’s what I told her.” Jamie tried not to giggle as Barbarossa ran up to her and smashed that fluffy tail against her bare leg.
“She didn’t like any of the venues that were available or willing to work with us.
She expressed that she doesn’t want to get married in a church if I don’t want to. ”
“Gosh, I love churches.” Sighing, Jenny pulled out her tablet and punched some figures into the calculator.
“They’re set up perfectly for hosting weddings.
Perfect backdrops and photo ops. It’s almost a shame that so many people aren’t religious these days.
” She stared at the number appearing on her screen.
“It will cost more than a pretty penny of Ms. Coleman’s to make this work.
At all. It would require construction. This is assuming that you and her marry on the balcony up there.
That would be the easy part. Although for you to walk through the guests…
shit, thinking about this is giving me a headache. ”
“You can do it, right?”
“Of course I can? I’m not the fucking best around for nothing.” Jenny put her tablet away and crossed her arms. “So, we’ve got your venue. As long as Ms. Coleman is willing to pay…”
“She will.”
“…Then things are starting to come together. You’ve picked out a color for the wedding, so we can get started on the bridesmaid dresses soon.
You’ve finalized the guest list and sent out the invitations.
Aside from your parties, all that’s left to figure out is the cake, the dress, and the flowers.
Well, there’s a lot to figure out, but those are the main things for you to think about right now.
I’ll take you and Etta cake shopping soon. Remind me to schedule it.”
Jamie nodded. Barbarossa flopped between them.
“Also, I no longer accommodate animals in the bridal party, except for a nominal fee. Really nominal. They are an utter pain in the ass.”
“I agree with you. She will be locked up in the bedroom all day.”
“Good. Now, there is also the matter of the menu…”
“Dios mio!” Beatrice shrieked up on the balcony.
Not only did that get Jamie’s attention because, well, shrieking, but also because Beatrice never slipped into Spanish unless she was so startled that her brain unlocked a language she claimed to have forgotten long ago.
When Jamie and Jenny looked up, they saw the housekeeper clutching her heart with one hand and pointing to the edge of the woods with the other. “That man… that man is…”
Jamie spun around. There, emerging from the depths of the woods, were her parents. They had gone for a walk earlier that morning, claiming they needed the exercise. Jamie didn’t disagree and told them of Etta’s favorite trail before they headed off into the early morning fog.
They were back now… and missing something very, very important.
“Hi, honey!” Luna, scratching the top of her breast, greeted.
Mom, you’re… Scratching her breast. Her naked breast. “Trail is great! We’ll take it every day!
” Saul walked briskly, his nude body sauntering through the garden.
Arms pumped. Something Jamie never wanted to see on her father bounced with his every step.
Jenny dropped her tablet on the ground.
“Mom! Dad!”
“They’re naked!” Beatrice cried in disbelief from above.
Sure enough, Mr. and Mrs. Joy showed off not only what they had, but exactly where Jamie had come from twenty-some odd years ago.
Both had aged respectably over the years, but Jamie was not prepared to see her mother’s overhanging stomach, saggy breasts, and cellulite bouncing on her thighs and ass.
And, well, she had never expected to see her father’s “little buddy” again after the last time she saw it when he had just come out of gallbladder surgery.
“Who is this lovely young woman?”
“This is… this is the wedding pla… you’re naked.”
“Yes, dear, we’re quite aware. We took our clothes off in the woods and couldn’t be bothered to put them back on.” Luna shrugged. Her breasts heaved up and down with her movements. “We’re nudists now. Have been for a while. Might as well get used to it!”
They shuffled by, greeting Jenny on their way back into the house.
Jamie continued to stare in utter disbelief.
Jenny muttered a wow before bending down to pick up her tablet in its shatter-protection case.
Beatrice let out a string of Spanish that Jamie couldn’t understand.
Barbarossa rolled onto her back, sunning on the warm bricks.
“Your parents, huh?” Jenny shoved her tablet in her knapsack. “Make sure they wear clothes to your wedding. Your guests wouldn’t approve otherwise.”
Jamie was too dumbfounded to promise either way.