Chapter 52
The warehouse was large, dark, and smelled like the kind of place Jamie never wanted to be. Yet when her captors ripped the blindfold off her head, she quickly realized it was…
Party time.
“Surprise!” Seena jumped off a stool and unveiled a large, glittery, homemade banner that said, “Congrats on getting laid for life!” Jamie had to smile, because what else could she do in such a situation?
When Seena had come to her weeks ago, saying, “Look, I want to throw you a bachelorette party to remember, but I’m gonna need some cash, you know?
” Jamie hadn’t thought twice about handing over thousands of (Etta’s) dollars to ensure Seena could do whatever she wanted.
Of course, Jamie did not anticipate being fake-kidnapped by hot people in suits and brought to a warehouse.
A party warehouse, but a warehouse, nonetheless.
It was cordoned off in sections. In one makeshift room was an open bar and buffet – which was good, because Jamie had yet to eat, and she could definitely use a stiff drink – and in another was a dance area complete with disco ball and one of the hottest DJs in the city.
For those who had partied too hard, there was a lounge area that was quieter and came complete with massage services – from half-naked masseuses wearing smirks the size of their supposed egos.
Before she could scope out all of the rooms, Jamie realized that these professionals weren’t just hot… they were probably, well, pros. Like the women down in Miami.
“Did you rent escorts for the night?” Jamie asked her friend, as a man went straight up to Luna and offered her a sizable meal, if she liked German.
After laughing so hard that she almost broke her spine, Luna told the guy he was much too young, and her husband wouldn’t approve. Of a guy so young, anyway.
“Duh?” Seena pulled her hair back into a fluffy ponytail. “Why would I hire boring waiters? Girl, you don’t have to fuck ‘em. They’re paid for the whole night. They’re here to look great and make everyone horny.”
“Oh. Well, then.”
Nala stumbled out of the ladies’ room wearing a comfortable jeans and a T-shirt combo. Far cry from Jamie’s red cocktail dress. “There is so much nudity in this place, oh, my God.”
“Duh! It’s a bachelorette party!” Seena pushed past them to wave down some new guests. Her friends, probably. Jamie barely knew them.
She barely knew most of the female revelers showing up.
Granted, these strangers were a lot more fun than the type who came to bridal showers. They were college students, working class, or at least part of the secretarial circuit – like Natasha and Amanda, who showed up together fifteen minutes after Nala.
“Wow,” they said in unison, as a woman with globe-sized breasts walked by carrying a tray of cocktails. “Either we’re at the wrong party, or the right one.”
“I’ll take one of those,” Amanda said, pointing to Miss Perky. “And that one. Oh, somebody triple team me in the corner…”
Jamie was lost at her own bachelorette party.
Not that she wasn’t enjoying the mood and the ambiance, but it was a strange feeling, like she was in a club where she didn’t know a soul.
Sure, the strange women wearing crop tops and too much cheap perfume were more than happy to give her cheers, to say they loved the photo of her bridal shower in the papers, and to congratulate her on marrying one of the hottest, richest bitches around.
Jamie learned to stop asking names. Not only were there so many strangers, but she had a feeling she wouldn’t see most of these women again anytime soon.
As she had her second cocktail in half an hour – while chowing down at the buffet, of course – Jamie realized that nobody there, aside from perhaps Nala, came from what could be considered “means.” I thought Seena was inviting some of the others…
Leave it to her to “conveniently” forget the likes of any rich bitch who would deign to come to Jamie’s bachelorette party.
The ones who said they were coming probably lied.
They were pretty open about the lying that goes on to kiss ass.
Jamie didn’t really care, but it said a lot about the types of people she was marrying into.
“Holy fucking balls, this is a lot of ass!”
More than a few eyes opened wide as Eve barged into the room, her white summer suit offset by the black piping along the edges. No way Givenchy made that… Was Eve branching out to different designers? Maybe Natasha had something to do with it?
Really, more than a few of those asses were probably interested the moment a woman like her strutted through and waved down Jamie.
She must’ve been a woman on a mission – either that or her six-inch Dolce )”
“Is that a joke?” Kathleen shouted over Jamie’s shoulder. “Or is she an ass?”
“It’s a joke.” Jamie was pretty sure it was a joke, anyway. The wink said it all!
“Fuck me,” Kathleen muttered. At least she had taken the volume down a few notches. A million tequilas did that to a woman. “I don’t know which way is up anymore.”
“Hey! You!” Gwenyth called from the doorway. “Get over here and dance with us! We’ve got five babes who are ready to go!”
Kathleen got up, with nary a stumble, and chased after Gwenyth into the other room. Jamie chose then to reply to her fiancée. “Every1 so drunk. Me 2.”
She wasn’t plastered yet, but she was halfway to Drunk Town and happy to see any face that would come by and say hello.
Sometimes, she would fall onto the dance floor and take a turn with Whitney Houston or Lady Gaga, but there were too many people she didn’t know.
Even when I was single, I’m not sure how into it I would have been.
At nine-thirty, Adele made her grand appearance. “This is wild!” she cried, already spilling a daiquiri. “And I’ve been to some wild parties this year! Who even are those people?”
Jamie shrugged. “Professional partiers. I think some of them are randos off the street.”
“Woooow.”
“You’re telling me. This is technically my party!”
The likes of Seena were scarce that night, although Jamie saw her locking lips with at least four guys…
including two at once. Amanda and Natasha remained close throughout the night, which was hilarious, considering Jamie fully expected Natasha to be as raunchy with Eve.
Adele was so enthralled with what was going on that she spent at least twenty minutes gawking at the rooms and trying to get real conversations out of the women she knew…
who were already so drunk and boisterous that they were scaring others off.
“You lost me another one!” Kathleen shouted over Taylor Swift. “I swear to God, Eve!”