Chapter 52 #2
“You’ve got a partner!”
“I knooow, that’s why you’ve gotta take a selfie of me grinding with some chick so we can send it to her!”
“Hon, it ain’t a selfie if I’m taking it for you!”
“Hey! Hey, you! Get over here and let me rub up against you! I’ve got money!”
Even Luna was not sacred. The one time Jamie got up to go to the bathroom, she found her mother in the middle of a dance sandwich.
Or did four men and one random woman make it more than a sandwich?
Either way, most of them had lost their thongs and were shaking their bare asses around a woman old enough to be their mother.
At a quarter to ten, Seena finally emerged from her endless make-out sessions and demanded that everyone in “Jamie’s group” meet up in the VIP room. There, two unknown women waited.
Naturally, they were selling them shit.
“This is the Pussy Percolator 2100,” one woman with a huge weave and enough costume jewelry to knock out a car full of clowns said, holding up one of the biggest dildos Jamie had ever seen. “It comes in three colors.”
“I’ll take five,” Gwenyth said, slapping her hand against the table in the center of the room. “One in each color!”
“Now, ladies,” said someone who looked like she should be someone’s good, moral aunt who went to every Sunday service. “When you’re licking the love line, make sure you…”
Jamie couldn’t believe it. She was having sex toys peddled at her and getting a lesson in cunnilingus, of all things.
She downed the last of Natasha’s drink and went for it.
“’Scuse me,” she slurred, snatching a to-scale candy mold of some porn star’s pussy from the instructor’s hand. “This is how you eat some vag.”
Suffice to say, she was a lot more popular than the instructor that night. Her mother didn’t even blush. Instead, she called out, “That’s my baby!”
Jamie tossed the well-used pussy pop into the nearest garbage and wiped traces of candy from the edges of her mouth. “How do you think I got this ring?” She wavered on her feet as she held up her sapphire and diamond engagement ring, much to the glee of everyone sitting around.
Her mother did have some sense, however, and made sure to cut Jamie off from any more alcohol at eleven. Good thing, too, because Jamie was barely capable of having a real conversation by that point. This is the complete opposite of Monique’s party… and I am… I am drunk. She wobbled in her seat.
“You know what?” she garbled in Adele’s direction when the tipsy woman sat primly in a lounge chair.
She motioned for a weary gal to come over and dance for them.
So, to the tune of Charity Big Boobs McGee strutting her stuff on the table, Jamie continued, “You’re cool.
You got me a wedding dress, and that’s cool. ”
Adele was trapped between looking at the escort’s body and at Jamie. “Thanks. It’s not a big deal. Really. Least I could do.”
“That’s right, ‘cause you… you see that… oh, my God, it’s good to explore… things in the world…”
Adele’s smile slowly faded. “Uh-huh.” She sipped her martini and watched someone get wet right in front of her.
“No, no, you see, I’m gonna party tonight.”
“You sure are, Jamie.”
“Then I’m gonna go home… fuck my fiancée.”
Adele looked as if she hadn’t heard that.
“You ever… you ever fuck a girl besides Etta?”
That got her attention. “Excuse me?” she asked, turning pink – and not from the alcohol. “What brought that on?”
Jamie leaned forward, her hair sloping in front of her face. “Italy,” she heaved.
Adele turned, pretending that the woman in front of her was the most interesting chick in the world. “Didn’t know I had been that loud.”
“It’s okay, ‘cause this one time in college…” Jamie lost her thought already.
“There are so many lesbos here tonight. Etta and I know so many lesbos. I think she hires them on purpose at this point. You see, she gets hot women, but they want nothing to do with her. All the eye candy but no… but no… ass.”
She couldn’t tell if Adele was laughing or on the verge of throwing up. “You say that?”
“That should be her bachelorette party next weekend. Hire a bunch of hot lesbians to befriend her and dance naked for her. I don’t… I don’t care if she looks… don’t let her touch, okay?” She knew that Adele was involved with Etta’s bachelorette party.
“I would never, and I doubt she would, either.” Adele looked glad to change the subject. “Anyway, I’m putting together her party. I’ll make sure there are no real temptations, unlike here.” Her forced wink would’ve made sober Jamie roll her eyes.
Drunk Jamie, however, flopped onto the other side of her couch and tried to fish some nuts out of a bowl – most unsuccessfully. “Why you?”
“Because I’m her best woman. It’s my duty.”
“Is it gonna be like this?”
The other woman was completely naked on the table by now, her eyes boring into Adele’s as she smiled sheepishly at Ms. Tits. “Definitely not. She’s a woman of more refined tastes… I hope.” She swallowed hard.
Jamie was left alone in the room again after the hottie left, and Adele announced she needed “to tinkle.” That is such an Adele thing to say.
Jamie slumped against the couch, sighing.
This didn’t mean she didn’t enjoy her bachelorette party.
Unfortunately, all Jamie could think about was that going home and boning her fiancée sounded a bit too good.
She’ll still fuck me if I’m drunk, right?
Probably not. Etta was too moral for that.
Sober Jamie appreciated it. Drunk Jamie wanted her to rot.
“Aw, someone is passing out.” Two figures wandered in. “Here I was hoping this place would be empty. Oh, well, I’ll take you home with me later.”
Another woman giggled.
“Help me get her up. She needs to get in a cab. With her mother.”
“The old lady slapping some guy’s ass with one of those Dildo Monster things?”
“The very one.”
Jamie was hoisted off the couch, one arm swinging around each woman’s shoulders.
One was considerably taller than the other and had to bend down to help.
“She’s fun. If I ever get married, make sure she’s invited.
Don’t know if I want the gal who put this together throwing my bachelorette party, though. Might be too wild.”
“Especially if it’s women instead of men, right?”
Jamie recognized the soft white fabric and black piping of Eve’s suit. That must be Natasha. They were not her most conventional friends, but they seemed pretty trustworthy. Jamie closed her eyes and decided to put her drunken fate in their hands. Until they found her uproarious mother, anyway.
“Whoa!”
They were passing through the massage room, which had earlier been closed off to everyone… except for the two going at it in one of the chairs.
“Good… good for her,” Jamie said, watching as an oblivious Adele went to pound town with Ms. Tits. “She got a nice ass, huh?”
The other women were too stunned to vacate. “That is a nice one,” someone said.
“This is the most beautiful display of homosexual affection I have ever seen,” said Eve.
Adele wailed as orgasm crashed over her, and the escort was more than happy to join her in Climax City.
“Okay, we gotta go.”
“Only if you promise to do that to me later.”
“Did I or did I not buy more Pussy Percolators than Gwenyth? In every color!”
Jamie was dragged out of the massage lounge and through the front bar, where they collected Luna and paid their respects to hostess Seena and her new pal Nala. “Do you need help?” Seena asked, pulling out a phone.
“No, no, we’ll get her a cab and then go ourselves. Thanks for the party.”
Luna was sober enough to help her daughter into the back of a cab and give the driver the address to the manor.
Jamie gestured to her purse, where her mother found a wallet full of enough cash to get them home.
“Thank you, girls, for helping us out here,” Luna said, mostly to Eve, who leaned through the open window. “I can take it from here.”
Eve waved before backing away. Jamie waved back. She looked into Eve’s sleepy face and into Natasha’s…
Uh…
That was not Natasha. At all.
“Bye, Jamie!” The face became blurrier as Jamie almost knocked herself out. The cab began to pull away. “Give Ms. Coleman my regards!”
“Mom,” Jamie mumbled. “Who is that?”
They were well down the street by now. “I have no idea, Jam. They’re your friends.”Jamie felt a zap of scandal on her friend’s behalf, but passed out on the long drive home before she had the chance to text anyone.
It was half past midnight by the time they reached the manor. Beatrice and Harris were already in their house for the night, and Saul was knocked out in his guest room since he was still on farm time. That left Luna borrowing Jamie’s phone to text Etta about their arrival.
She met them at the bottom of the grand staircase, where the cab driver and Luna passed Jamie off like the drunken bride she was.
Etta made sure the driver got a generous tip before saying goodnight to Luna and carrying Jamie upstairs to their room.
She was still dressed in her trousers and nicest cotton dress shirt, which meant she had yet to even shower.
Her musky odor that had accumulated over that long day roused Jamie – and aroused her, because her appetite had never diminished even though she was drunker than drunk.
“Glad you had fun,” Etta said, laying Jamie on their bed and helping her undress. “Although I’m sure you won’t be having much fun tomorrow morning.”
She sleepily pawed at Etta’s trousers. “Fuck me,” she growled. “So many babes tonight. I didn’t touch any of them.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” Etta pulled Jamie’s dress over her head and unsnapped the back of her bra. “Do you want a T-shirt or a nightgown?”
“No, no, you gotta fuck me. I’m so horny.”
“Maybe later. You need to sleep.”
Jamie couldn’t argue with that. She was out like a room full of lights the moment one of her T-shirts draped across her naked body.