Chapter 58 #3
Once upon a time, this view had been picturesque.
Almost like a fairy tale. Etta was always her most princely, her most ladylike whenever she brought Jamie here.
Those were the memories Jamie wanted to cling to, but what was the use?
Jamie saw this view for what it was now.
Before, she had only seen the greens, the waterways, the birds of amazing colors flying here and there.
Now she saw more. The clearings making way for new mansions, new vacation homes.
The smoke in the distance from illegal burnings that nobody would get in trouble for because pay them off, honey.
The invasive flora introduced because Mrs. So-and-so simply had to have this “pretty looking plant” when she went on honeymoon in Europe, Africa, Southeast Asia.
Privilege allowed these people to destroy this picturesque piece of nature.
Jamie slumped against the hood of her car, tired, hungry, thirsty, but unable to do anything but sob into her hands. The more she thought about it, the more she realized what a mistake it was to legally bind herself to this way of thinking.
“I have to do it,” she said to herself. “I have to end it.” She glanced at her phone on the driver’s seat and noticed a million texts and unanswered calls.
Before she dreaded having to break up with Etta a day before their wedding, she heard tires squealing on the road behind her. Somehow, Jamie knew who and what it was.
Sure enough, without having to turn around, a black Lamborghini pulled up alongside her little red sports car. Etta opened her door before shutting off the engine.
“What the hell!” she shouted, approaching Jamie as she went to the edge of the overlook. “Do you know how long I’ve been trying to find you? One minute you were at the restaurant, and the next you were gone and nobody had any idea where you were!”
Her anger was palpable, but it wasn’t the kind directed at Jamie, per se. She was afraid. Maybe if Jamie hadn’t been a kidnapping victim before, Etta wouldn’t shit herself over a sudden disappearance, let alone a day before her wedding. Even so, Jamie had a hard time caring.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, hoping Etta couldn’t see her tear-stained face. “I had to get away and clear my thoughts.”
“Would’ve been nice if you had helped me with your parents. We almost got banned from that restaurant! Not that I fucking care about French cuisine, but I do a lot of business dinners and lunches there…”
Jamie flinched. “I’m sorry about that. I’ll make sure they’re gone as soon as possible.”
“It’s only because I do so much business there that they’ll let it slide this time… wait, what?” Etta sighed. “That’s ridiculous. We’re getting married tomorrow. They can leave by the time we’re back from the honeymoon.”
“I’ll go with them. Maybe they’ll take me back to the farm. I can take the cats too, so they’ll be out of your hair.” Farms needed cats, right? Barbarossa would be in shock, but maybe she could be an indoor cat there, too.
“What are you talking about? Jamie, you’re talking nonsense.
Even if you’re planning on visiting them, that’s definitely not going to be for a while yet.
Why would you take the damned cats? That sounds like a pain in the…
why are we even having this conversation?
Come on, we need to go back home. People are waiting for us. ”
Jamie looked over her shoulder. There she was.
The woman she loved more than words could say.
Dressed in her slick Armani suit, no tie.
A stylist was supposed to come later to touch up her hair for the wedding, but she still looked damn good now, even with the breeze playing with the longer strands on her head.
I can smell her cologne from here. That wasn’t a knock against it.
Jamie always searched for the scent of Mr. Christian. It comforted her. Usually.
“I can’t go back with you.” Jamie turned to the valley below. “Maybe ever.”
“Jamie.” Etta came to her, attempting to put her hand on her shoulder before she pulled away, panic flooding her heart. Don’t. Don’t tempt me. “What are you talking about? Come on. We need to go back!”
Was that still fear in her voice? No way. “Don’t make this harder for me. Let me go.”
Silence befell them. Jamie looked over the cliff. She wasn’t suicidal, but she imagined jumping off and letting the wind carry her away. Across the river. Into the mountains. Far, far away into the countryside where people didn’t worry about the petty shit these rich people did.
“I like to think I’m pretty good at reading between the lines of what people say,” Etta said, steadily. “I have a suspicion that you’re talking about leaving me.”
Here came the tears again. Jamie tried to wipe them away, but they came faster than she could brush them off. Don’t look like such a fool! How could she help it, though? She had heard those women. She would be nothing but a fool.
“Etta,” she finally said, forcing her voice low, cool. “It will never work. You know it. I know it. Today was a gross display of what lies before us. I am, and always will be, a liability to your business and, yes, your personal life. Because those are the same, right?”
“Jamie…”
“No!” she stepped away again, determined to put both physical and emotional distance between them.
“You listen to me, Etta Coleman!” There.
If she called her by her full name like the others did, then Jamie could prove to herself that she was nothing but a distant figure.
An unattainable woman. “You just don’t get it!
” Her screams increased in power. Her shouts reverberated through her body.
Her yells echoed in the growing wind. “I can’t take it!
I’m tired of everyone talking behind my back, or saying shit right in my face, and thinking I can’t understand them because I’m too stupid!
Do you get it, Etta? I am trash compared to these other people.
They think I am disposable. They will never give me basic respect unless it somehow benefits their relationship to you, because why the fuck would they?
Ha! Maybe you can ignore when they’re rude to you because of your upbringing, but how can I?
I have nothing to fall back on. I don’t have the fact that I’ve built up my own billion-dollar company, or that I’m even somehow a key player in its continuation.
Don’t patronize me. I know what you’re thinking.
Some romantic notion that I emotionally help you keep going every day.
That’s great, Etta! I don’t doubt that you love me.
I love you, too! We just should never get married! ”
Etta stared at her, part dumbfounded, part irate. Did she think that Jamie wasn’t thinking these things? “I had no idea it was this bad for you.”
“Every day I wake up wondering how people will look down on me today. Will they sneer at my fashion choices? My parents? My background with you? Etta, everyone keeps calling me a stripper and a prostitute. Maybe you don’t hear it, but I do!”
Her brows furrowed. Anger? At her? At those people? “I don’t doubt that some people are jealous of you, or too bored for their own good. But…”
“Don’t you dare but me! Are you not listening?
I feel like I’m choking every time I’m around those types of people!
They’re stealing my air and replacing it with poison!
If they’re not outright ignoring me, they’re only nice because they’re afraid of what you’ll do.
I can’t take it. I don’t want to take it anymore.
Please, Etta…” Jamie wobbled on her heels, but somehow managed not to fall.
“Please don’t make me go through it anymore.
I don’t want to lose you, but… what if we come to resent each other? ”
She finally let Etta approach her. “I could never resent you. You’re the woman I love. If someone says something…”
“You’ll never hear it,” Jamie cut in. “They’re careful around you.
Sometimes I think they want me to…” She couldn’t finish that thought.
“Maybe there are women out there who can put up with it. Maybe they can grow from it and become better, stronger people. I’m not one of them.
I don’t care if it makes me sound weak. I shouldn’t be expected to put up with all the senseless bullshit simply because I didn’t go to Winston Academy or Yale or Princeton.
Or because my parents aren’t mega-rich assholes who founded some company or whatever.
Or because I’m not a celebrity who can be admired for her artistic merits or ability to be so hot the sun burns before her.
Maybe you don’t care, Etta, but the world does.
” Her voice lowered. “You’re a good woman, and I love you, but you really need someone other than me to be your wife.
Either someone who can handle that pressure better than I can, or one of those women who is somewhat decent.
” Too bad Kathleen Allen is already spoken for.
Jamie had never forgotten the wisecrack made at Monique’s bachelorette party.
“You’d be better off trying to woo Adele again. Even if her image is going down, too.”
As if on cue, the passenger side door of Etta’s Lamborghini opened and closed.
“What are you doing here?” The shock at seeing someone like Adele in this sort of situation… what the fuck? Had she been hiding in Etta’s dark car this whole time? “Come to rub this in my face?”
Adele took a step back. “Why would I rub any of this in your face?”
“It’s also none of your business.” Jamie was so tired. Tired of Adele, tired of Etta, tired of the drama surrounding them all.
“Maybe you should go,” Etta said to Adele. She took out her car keys and handed them over. “Take my car back. Jamie and I will take hers.”
“What is she doing here to begin with? Already replacing me, Etta?”