Chapter 58 #4
“Jamie!” Her roar made both her and Adele shake in surprise. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but you’re talking insanity. Why in the world would I want to be with Adele when we don’t even care about each other like that anymore? It’s just business!”
That’s what I used to tell myself all the time.
That’s what she used to think about Etta.
Nothing but business. Jamie didn’t want to get attached to her, to resent her for using her for sex.
She knew it was different now, but… “Did you know that someone purposely told the paper that you were marrying Adele so I might get cut out of the picture? As a prank? I don’t know… ”
“Who the fuck did that?”
“I would love to know that too.” Adele put her hands on her hips. “Because ever since that damning article, I’ve been cleaning up my own messes too!”
“Oh, I heard all about your messes, too!” Jamie was pacing again. “Like how everyone knows about you going to gay bars and making a fool out of yourself!” To be fair, Jamie only found out about that a little while ago. She was probably one of the last to know.
Adele paled to the point she looked like the moon crowding out a sunny day. “That’s not true!”
“Come off it, Adele.” Etta sighed, shoving her car keys in her pocket. “We all know.”
Adele’s hands went to her face. Even her red lips paled.
“What are you so ashamed of? People who give a shit about what you do in your personal life aren’t worth your time anyway.
Besides, they know we dated! Or do you think the whole world sees me as a man because I wear these clothes and cut my hair like this?
What did you say about me? That I was too masculine? ”
Both Adele and Jamie exploded at her.
“Easy for you to say! You’re everyone’s darling!”
“Don’t tell either of us we don’t have anything to worry about!”
“Isn’t this like you? You really don’t understand!”
“Fuck off!”
Etta didn’t say anything. She looked away, quietly seething.
Adele grunted in sheer frustration before turning to Jamie.
“I swear to God, Jamie,” she groaned, “if you dump this woman a day before her wedding, I will personally haunt you myself! All Etta does is talk about you! Jamie, Jamie, Jamie! Holy fucking shit, if I even entertained a single thought about trying to steal her back for myself, I would’ve given up a long time ago!
I would have no chance! And I’m not about to watch you break her heart, both as someone who cares about her and as her business partner! We don’t need that shit!”
Jamie furrowed her brows.
“Everyone who is anyone has skeletons in their closet! Most people don’t care, that much Etta is right about!
For fuck’s sake, her marrying her personal assistant is far from the worst thing anyone could come up with, regardless of the other details.
I promise you both will move on from that within a few years. ”
“Just like people will move on from you being a raging bisexual,” Etta mumbled. “It’s the 2020s. If you can be in charge of a Fortune 500 company, then you can fuck the First Lady for all anyone really cares.”
“Shut up, Etta! There you go again, telling me what I should be worried about!” Adele’s finger was practically up Etta’s nose.
The image would’ve greatly amused Jamie if she weren’t fuming out of her own.
“What’s it like being you? What’s it like getting to do whatever you want, and the worst people can say is, ‘Oh, how about that, she’s doing exactly what we expect her to do?
Teehee. Really part of the boys’ club, isn’t she?
’ Because I will never know that. Jamie will never know that.
Your fiancée, the woman you never stop singing the fucking praises of, is standing right here telling you that she wants to leave you because the pressure is too much.
You know what? That pressure is never going away.
She will wake up every day with the heavy burden of being Mrs. Etta Fucking Coleman, and all you can say is, oh well, who cares?
Do you even listen to us, or do you think our pretty faces are amusement enough? ”
“I would never!”
“Then prove it! Jamie has been begging for you to protect her ever since you proposed to her! What kind of shit-poor spouse would you be if you let her be gnawed on by wolves for the rest of her life? Stand the fuck up for her!” Adele laughed so callously that Jamie was almost afraid she would get in a car and drive it off a cliff.
“I am so glad I dumped you, Etta. I thought I was getting rid of you because you were too much, and now I see you weren’t enough! ”
Jamie had never seen such silent rage on Etta’s face before.
She had seen her fly into physical rages, particularly when someone was about to harm them, but this was different.
This was Adele punching her right in the gut.
Nobody comes after her sense of self… Wasn’t that the crux of the problem?
That nobody had challenged what it meant for her to be Etta?
People could gripe about her upbringing, her weird fascination with mushrooms, the fact that she hated going to functions, whatever, but they would never challenge her confidence or who she was.
She had proven that to the cosmos above when she did the fiercest thing of all: build up her own empire and leave a trail of broken-hearted princesses in her wake.
Now here was one of those princesses – perhaps two of them – tearing her down from the inside. Because who else would know how to get to her so well?
“That was a low blow,” she finally said.
“You deserve it. It’s about time someone knocked you down a peg or two.
” Adele turned her hard gaze toward Jamie.
“You want to know why I’m here right now?
Because I was worried about you. We both were.
I offered to come looking for you. I even postponed my meeting later to come find your ungrateful ass. ”
“Ungrateful?”
“You heard me.” Adele snorted. “You don’t get to come at us without hearing some of it for yourself.
I understand that you’re under a lot of pressure, but you need to understand how lucky you are.
This woman would do anything for you. You think I’m jealous?
I am jealous. I’m jealous that I don’t have someone who thinks the sun shines so graciously on my ass.
How nice that would be! I’m a lot older than you, Jamie.
Maybe not in the realm of the world, but socially, I am approaching crone age.
I turned down Etta’s proposal because I knew she wasn’t the one.
Maybe I’ll never find the one! Most days, I don’t care.
Then I see the way she treats you, and deep down I wonder if I made a huge mistake all those years ago.
You really are Cinderella, you know that?
This woman went around trying that stupid collar on any woman who would take up the challenge.
It so happened it fit perfectly on you, and now she wants to make you her princess – no, her queen.
You may very well decide that it won’t work out later on.
But I implore you, Jamie, do not make hasty or rash decisions right now.
Put off signing any legal documents if you have to, but you need to have that wedding tomorrow.
Not just to save all of our faces in front of hundreds of people, but to make sure a breakup is what you two want. ”
“I don’t want that.” Etta stepped forward, taking Jamie’s hand.
“She’s right. I don’t want to admit it, but Adele is right.
I haven’t been the woman you need me to be.
I thought I was. I thought what you needed was a provider, a partner who would make all those dreams come true and give you what kids like us used to dream of.
Big houses, servants, extensive travel… I guess I thought you would be forever enthralled with shopping and fine dining.
I never thought you would have such a hard time with the cruelty of the people around us, that you would need me to protect you from them like I protected you from more heinous people.
” Etta braved putting her hand on Jamie’s shoulder.
“She’s also right about you. There is always going to be someone out there who wants to tear you down.
Marrying me might make you a target, Jamie, but I will jump in front of any bullets that come your way. ”
Adele laughed behind her. “You better put that in your vows, asshole.”
Both Jamie and Etta ignored her. “I don’t want to lose you,” Jamie said, crying again.
“I don’t want to lose you, either. I love you, Jamie.
You’re the only woman I want to marry. If it’s not you, then it’s no one.
When I imagine Mrs. Coleman, I see you. I want you in my home, in my bed, in my cars, in my office, in my arms. I want the whole world to see how beautiful and kind you are.
I will never look down on you for your parents or your friends who stay by your side.
Other people might, but I will never. If those other people give you shit?
You tell me. If nothing else, I want to understand.
So I can better educate those people about what you mean to me, and why you deserve their respect.
It may be tenuous respect, but they will at least pretend.
And…” she stood back, struggling to keep a straight face, “if it’s still too hard, if we can’t make it work…
well, that’s not an option. I don’t know about you, Miss Joy, but I am going to my wedding tomorrow, and you'd better be there glowing like the most beautiful bride to ever grace this damned earth. I’d rather not look like a fool marrying myself.
Adele might be drunk enough to stand in for you and hope nobody notices. ”
“I heard that.”
Etta went down on one knee, her hand clenched tightly around Jamie’s.
Her finger brushed against Jamie’s engagement ring.
Somewhere, in the depths of her belongings, Adele held on to their wedding rings already.
I can’t believe she will be the one to give us our rings. The world was a strange place.
“Jamie Joy,” Etta said, her face so serious that Jamie almost wanted to laugh, “I don’t care how weird your parents are, how many friends you make, or what you decide to do with my money and your time.
You are not a liability. You are a good person, and I would not marry someone I didn’t think was a good match for me.
I love you. Let me prove my devotion to you by making you my wife.
I will never hide you. I will never be embarrassed to call you mine.
If you want to run the show at home, I’ll let you.
If you want to let other people do it for you, that’s fine too.
I want you to be happy and comfortable. Your happiness expands upon mine.
If I can’t make you happy, then I have failed, both as a woman and as your wife…
and I am not a woman accustomed to failure. ”
Jamie held her breath.
“Marry me, Jamie. Whether it’s tomorrow or ten years from now, promise me that you’ll be by my side. I don’t want to keep on going if you’re not there, sharing everything with me.”
I don’t deserve this woman. How unfortunate was it that Jamie thought that first? “I love you. I desperately want to marry you and call you my wife. I doubt I could ever do any better.”
“Don’t you dare say but.”
“I wasn’t going to.”
“Then what?”
For the second time in her life, Jamie looked deep into Etta’s eyes while she proposed. Earnest. Determined. Gorgeous. Jamie pushed Etta’s bangs away from her forehead and cupped a hand around her cheek. “You’ll get your pants dirty if you keep kneeling on the ground.”
“I’m not getting up until you tell me yes.”
“Promise me one thing, Etta.”
“I’ll promise you this whole mountain if it gets that ring on your finger.”
“You’ll always love me as much as you do right now.”
“Jamie,” she said, exasperated, “I don’t think I could properly function if I started to love you less. The hole in my heart would be too big.”
The world blurred. Tears? Again? “What if my parents embarrass us? What if we can’t have kids? What if you lose investors and business because of me?”
“Then they’ve done what every set of parents in the history of the world has done. Then we adopt. Then I find other investors who aren’t so petty. Now, I want you to promise me something, Jamie.”
“What?”
“That no matter what, whether I stay a billionaire or lose all my money next week, you’ll stay with me forever. I can brave anything if you’re with me.” She kissed Jamie’s fist, now clenched between both of her hands.
“I’ll always be with you… if you’ll have me…” Jamie could only whisper it. To say it any louder might tempt the will of fate.
Etta stood up. “Who else is there?” She jerked her thumb over her shoulder. “Her?”
“Can’t you two kiss and make up without involving me?”
They did kiss, Etta wrapping Jamie in her arms as if she were afraid to let go. She doesn’t want me to run away. She wants me here, with her. The heat of Etta’s body and the force of that kiss told Jamie one thing: that she was loved, and that was enough to get her through anything.
Etta drove up to the manor, Jamie in the passenger seat, and Adele driving the little sports car behind them. They expected a healthy number of cars in their driveway, but they did not expect a black SUV beating them there by about three minutes.
“Look at this debacle,” Anne Coleman mumbled, eschewing the help of the driver who brought her there from the airport. Both Etta and Jamie hopped out of the Lamborghini as soon as they recognized her. “No wonder I never came here before. I’m already annoyed by all the excess.”
“I was hoping I wasn’t the only one who thought that way,” Saul, barely dressed in a cotton shirt and shorts, said as he came down the front steps. “These kids and their money.”
The two parents shook hands before heading inside, neither of them acknowledging their children’s presence, even though both daughters were getting married in fewer than twenty-four hours.