Chapter 11 #2
The girl sniffed and wiped her eyes, watching Javier like she didn’t know whether to panic or run to him for help. Finally, she half-sobbed, “Yes.”
Javier brushed his hands off, glanced to Desmond for a moment, then approached the girl slowly with a smile. “Are you here on a school trip?” he asked, crouching down to be at her level.
The girl nodded and wiped more tears.
“Are you here to visit the Cutty Sark or one of the other museums?” Desmond asked, stepping over to join Javier, his voice gentle and his manner completely changing to something so much more like the man he was when they were at home that it started a warm pulsing in Javier’s chest.
“The museum,” the girl said, still sniffing. “Miss said we were to get lunch and meet near the toilets, but nobody is here.”
Javier’s heart went out to her. There was nothing scarier than a class trip into the city when you were young and small. He guessed at once that there had been some kind of miscommunication that had taken the girl to the wrong place.
“Well, sweetheart, why don’t we help you find your class again,” Javier said, standing and looking around. “They can’t have gone far.”
He shifted to stand protectively by her side, but was careful not to reach out for her or touch her. God only knew what might happen if someone got the wrong idea and cried bloody murder.
“What’s your name?” Desmond asked as they started walking toward the Cutty Sark and the multiple school groups that were gathered here and there nearby.
“Katie,” the girl sniffed.
“Well, I’m Desmond and this is Javier, and we’ll help you find your class in no time,” Desmond said, taking up a protective position on Katie’s other side but also not touching her.
“Thank you,” Katie said in a watery voice.
“What’s your teacher’s name?” Javier asked as he studied the school groups while they walked, searching for one with kids the right age whose uniforms matched Katie’s.
“Miss Walter,” Katie sniffed.
“I bet Miss Walter is nice,” Desmond kept up the conversation as well. The smile he’d put on for the little girl had Javier wishing he was wearing a school uniform and bows. His kindness and care for the child was a whole other side of him that Javier hadn’t yet seen.
He liked it.
A lot.
“She’s nice,” Katie said, gaining a bit more confidence as they walked. “She wears funny shoes.”
Javier tried to hide a grin as he glanced over Katie’s head at Desmond. Desmond shrugged as if he had no idea what that meant and smiled in return.
“Teachers are always better when they wear funny shoes or jumpers, don’t you think?” Javier asked, still looking at Desmond.
“I had a teacher in year five who always wore jumpers with things stuck to them,” Desmond said.
“Things?” Javier asked as they neared the edge of the school groups.
“Like starfish and seahorses if we were studying the ocean or rulers and protractors if we were studying maths.”
Katie giggled at that. She also reached for Desmond’s hand.
Taken by surprise, Desmond held her hand and smiled at her.
Javier’s heart did things that it would take a month of weekends to recover from, if he even wanted to recover. He looked so natural smiling at a little girl, even though he was dressed for the financial world.
It suddenly occurred to Javier that Desmond didn’t look at all natural in his power suit and sensible tie.
He might actually have looked more like himself wearing a jumper with knitted starfish on it.
He was too kind and too beautiful for the cutthroat world of business.
How had he even stumbled into that world to begin with?
“Katie? Oh, gosh! There you are!”
Javier dragged his lovesick attention away from Desmond and glanced across at the harried young woman with bright pink shoes sporting oversized bows who raced toward them.
“I believe we found something you misplaced,” Desmond said formally, letting go of Katie’s hand so she could run to her teacher.
“Where have you been?” Miss Walter asked, embracing her pupil. “We’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
“You said the toilets,” Katie said, her voice muffled against her teacher’s shoulder.
“I meant the toilets at the museum,” Miss Walter laughed. She straightened and steered Katie back toward a large group causing mischief off to one side of the square. “Thank you,” she told Javier and Desmond before forgetting about them entirely.
Javier waved to Katie as she rejoined her classmates, then turned to Desmond. He was still waving. The longing in his eyes spoke volumes.
“Do you want kids someday?” he asked, surprised at how breathless the question sounded.
Slowly, Desmond turned his smile away from Katie and met his eyes. He seemed to suddenly hear the question and flinched, his smile dropping. “Er, certainly not,” he said with absolutely no conviction whatsoever.
Javier smirked and nudged him, turning to head back toward his filming location. “If that’s not a rote answer, I don’t know what is.”
Desmond sighed and dropped his shoulders, which had gone tense again. “Matthew hated children,” he said. “So, of course, I dismissed the idea entirely. I haven’t thought about it in years.”
“But you’re thinking about it now,” Javier observed.
Desmond sent him a cautious, sideways smile that landed like a confetti cannon in Javier’s gut. “I don’t have time or space in my life for children,” he said, a little bit sadly. “I work long hours and need to focus.”
“But if you weren’t one of London’s most important and ruthless financial wizards?” Javier asked as they crossed the street.
Desmond let out a puffed laugh. “I’m hardly any of those things,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.
“That’s not the impression I got when I was standing in front of your big, important desk dressed in wings and glitter,” Javier said.
Desmond laughed again, more genuine this time, real light in his eyes. “Yes,” he said. “Because all financial wizards entertain glittery Cupids in their office in the middle of the day.”
“It’s a rite of passage,” Javier shrugged, then nudged Desmond.
They reached Javier’s building, but to Javier’s surprise, the very last thing he wanted to do was say goodbye to his boyfriend and go back to work.
It all seemed so pointless anyhow. For months, he’d convinced himself that the weekends were for fantasy and indulgence and the week was when his real life happened.
Now he wondered if he hadn’t gotten things completely backwards.
“I’m still coming over tonight, right?” he asked, standing closer to Desmond than he should have.
“Yes, of course,” Desmond said, as if shocked Javier would consider anything else.
“Good,” Javier nodded. “Then I’m going to break the rules for just a second to—”
He finished by taking one of Desmond’s hands and leaning into him, slanting his mouth softly over Des’s.
Desmond sucked in a breath, then relaxed and kissed Javier in return. It was bold and maybe reckless, but nothing had felt so right all day.
They broke apart when a rotten teenage boy who was part of yet another school group whistled at them.
Javier took a step back and shook his head at the boy, smiling.
“I’ll see you later, sweetie,” he said, squeezing Desmond’s hand, then letting it go.
“I’ve got more where that came from.” He pointed vaguely at his mouth then turned his fingers toward Desmond, then walked on through the door and back to work.
“See you tonight,” Desmond called after him before turning to go.
Javier’s chest tightened. It felt like he was leaving a part of himself behind, which it shouldn’t have at all.
His entire arrangement with Desmond was supposed to be for fun, so the two of them could escape from the troubles of their lives with each other for a while.
He wasn’t supposed to want more, but boy, did he ever.