Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Juliet had figured out her rules of engagement in terms of her sex life by trial and error.
She’d learned about not sleeping with women who were out of the closet after having had a fling with an actress five years ago. Neither of them had developed feelings, but the actress had eventually made it clear that all of Juliet’s precautions and preparations bothered her.
Fair enough. But Juliet couldn’t change that, so they’d parted ways.
And now, the women she fucked were closeted just like she was, and none of them had the desire to do anything that could be interpreted as salacious. Usually, it included spending the night together, just in case.
They had privacy at her home, though, so she didn’t really care about that.
It was just – it really was the Darcy factor.
She thought about this as she sat in her bed, head tilted to the side, as she watched Darcy wake up.
Her eyes were bleary and sleepy, blinking several times as she took in her surroundings.
While Juliet was sitting with her back against her headboard, Darcy had been lying on her stomach, her head turned to the side facing Juliet.
“I really do hope you aren’t going to deny – again – sleeping so deeply it gives me concern until I can feel that you’re breathing,” she commented, arching a look down at Darcy as she rolled onto her back.
Darcy narrowed her eyes up at her, reaching up to shove her hair out of her face. “I don’t sleep like that, though,” Darcy denied, her voice a little rough from sleep.
The sound skittered down Juliet’s spine, pleasantly.
She smirked, taking a sip of her tea. “I have spent two nights with you, so I would beg to differ. I got up, opened the shades to let the sun in, opened and closed my closet to get my robe–” She gestured at herself. “Granted, I wasn’t trying to wake you up today, but you didn’t even stir.”
Darcy’s lips were ticked up into a small smile, something… giddy? Undeniably excited, as she breathed out a long, luxurious sigh. “The thing is that I don’t sleep well,” she informed Juliet after a few seconds.
That smile slipped from Darcy’s lips, as she pushed herself up to sit next to her. Darcy’s bare shoulder brushed against Juliet’s robe.
Her favorite thing, she decided, skimming her eyes down Darcy, was how very unashamed Darcy was about her nudity.
All soft and warm and freshly woken up, just like the first morning.
Not that Darcy had anything to be ashamed about, but that was the thing.
Juliet had been with a handful of women who were all, objectively, beautiful.
But being constantly photographed and criticized and having every little part of your body picked apart like you weren’t even a real person…
it could take a toll even on the most beautiful woman in the world.
So, she really did enjoy that Darcy simply let her look, without making any excuses. It was incredibly attractive to her, and Juliet let that thrum through her, as she brought her gaze back to Darcy’s face.
But Darcy wasn’t looking at her; she was looking across the room, her lips pursed slightly in thought.
“I haven’t really gotten more than a few hours of sleep in months,” Darcy admitted, turning to look at her again.
“When I go to sleep these days, I can’t shut my brain down.
Everything in my life changed on a dime, and I’m – it’s exactly what I wanted.
But it’s also… it’s a lot,” she finished, her voice shifting into something quieter, unexpectedly vulnerable.
It matched the look on her face. Almost like Darcy was silently asking her if she ever felt the same. Like Darcy was waiting for Juliet to open up and share her own anxieties or issues.
And that – that was exactly the thing she’d been stuck on this morning, as she’d watched Darcy sleep.
“Have you tried an Ambien?” She asked.
Darcy’s gaze shuttered slightly, before she rolled her eyes. “No. I don’t really like taking most medications unless I really have to.”
Juliet wrapped her other hand around her warm mug, sharing intently at Darcy. At that honest face and her easy confessions, and…
“Okay, I really have to ask. Are you – seriously – for real, Darcy?”
Darcy leaned back, frowning at her in obvious confusion. “… in what way?”
“In that you actually were surprised last night when I let you know that people engaged in fake relationships for the public eye. In that you believed we really were going to make peace that day for lunch, even though it was arranged by our management. In that you introduce yourself to new people as if anyone doesn’t know who you are.
In that you… really do just tell me things.
Like coming out to me, or talking about your sleep problems. You genuinely do carry a book around with you because you love to read, and it’s not just a gimmick.
This really isn’t some very well executed aw-shucks routine? ”
At this point, Juliet didn’t even believe it was. She had during their contention several months ago, because… come on. But literally every interaction she had with Darcy begged to prove otherwise.
“I’m not going to hold it against you if it is. It’s not a bad angle,” she tacked on, in case Darcy took offense to what she was saying.
It was clear by the way tension slid through Darcy’s shoulders, making her sit up straight, that she did take some sort of offense. “It’s not an angle. The truth is that most normal people don’t think about their image all of the time.”
Juliet felt her own defensive agitation stir a little bit.
“I’m not insulting you, either,” Darcy stated, holding her hand up.
“But, let’s be honest, you haven’t lived a very normal life, Juliet.
You have no idea what it’s like trying to work so damn hard to just try to get by.
Most normal people don’t have any time or energy to craft some sort of image to live by day by day.
Maybe I’m living in a different kind of world now, but I’ve spent most of my life doing exactly what everyone else does.
Showing up to work. Doing my best to stick to my word. ”
It seemed Darcy was on a roll, now, as she shifted to turn her whole body to completely face Juliet. The passion was etched into her face, as she dropped her hands to her blanket-covered lap with an exasperated exhale.
“I’d obviously heard of fake relationships, but frankly, I thought they were internet conspiracy theories.
Who has the time?” She pressed, breathing out a humorless snort.
“I thought we were both making a good faith effort at that lunch to make peace because… why wouldn’t we?
And yes, I introduce myself to people even though I guess I don’t always have to.
But I don’t ever want to be someone who walks into a room and just expects everyone to know who I am. I’m not that person.”
Those bottle green eyes glinted at her as Darcy set her jaw.
But when she spoke again, her voice dropped a little quieter.
“I realize that’s something that’s bothered you about me, because you think I’m na?ve.
But I’m not,” she insisted, pointedly, as her hand curled into a fist in Juliet’s comforter.
“I’m just a person who’s had a very different life than you have. ”
Juliet hadn’t expected to feel so… taken in by Darcy’s comments. So rocked by them.
It was that heated emotion, though, that did her in. She could, at least, admit it to herself.
“It did bother me,” she agreed. “And in some respects, I think you are na?ve when it comes to your new place in the world.” She dropped her head back against the headboard, blinking up at the ceiling. Debating if she would say this part aloud.
But it seemed that being around Darcy rubbed off on her the slightest bit. It was jarring to be around someone who was just so honest.
“However, I’m finding myself coming around to that part of you,” she admitted, quietly. Thoughtfully. “I find it… appealing that you are who you appear to be.”
Because Darcy hadn’t been wrong last night when she’d called out how fake much of their world was. But it was an industry built on appearance and image and reputation. Talent, skill, and dependability played a big role, but it was all hand-in-hand.
It was now second-nature for Juliet to assume people had their own angle. Because, she’d found, they so often did.
Darcy was quiet long enough that Juliet lifted her head back up to check in on her.
And what she saw was an undeniably pleased smile on Darcy’s lips. “You finding my so-called flaws appealing is a huge improvement for us.”
Juliet shook her head, trying to ward off her own smile. “It’s whatever.”
“You think I’m appealing.”
“I think your honesty is appealing,” she corrected.
“And my body. And face,” Darcy immediately added.
Juliet was unapologetic in her admiration for Darcy’s physical form. “Yeah, that’s not really a gotcha.”
“You also find my voice appealing,” Darcy added, putting her elbow in her lap, her chin in her hand, as she stared at Juliet with a wolfish smile. Daring her to disagree.
She was so close to it, too. Just on principle.
But the words wouldn’t come, not with any real weight behind them, which defeated the entire purpose.
“And you find mine appealing,” she countered, instead. “I guess we can say we’re even.”
“I find your voice more than appealing,” Darcy candidly agreed. “I’m really excited, for the record, about Shelby’s live concert in a couple of weeks.”
Juliet’s stomach fluttered with warmth at Darcy’s easy, honest compliment, before she really registered what she’d said about the concert.
And yes, the next time they’d likely see one another was going to be in just under two weeks, in Nashville, as everyone featured on the album sang their renditions to be broadcast on TV.
“Are you?” She asked, winging up her eyebrow.