Chapter 23
Ada sat where Magnus had placed her, on the edge of their bed by the fire. Her hands wouldn't stop shaking.
She tried to still them, pressing her palms flat against her thighs, but the trembling just moved deeper. Into her bones. Into the core of her where fear still lived despite being safe. Despite Magnus standing right there, the feared Serpent of Barra, kneeling at her feet like a supplicant.
"I ken ye’ve had worse. Which is why this shouldnae have happened at all." Magnus pressed the cloth gently to her split lip. "Ye were supposed tae be safe here. In me keep. Under me protection."
The water was cold against her heated skin. Ada winced but didn't pull away. "It's nae yer fault."
"It is exactly me fault." His jaw clenched. "I left ye alone. Told ye tae lock the door and assumed that would be enough. But it wasnae enough, was it? Because those bastards were already inside. Waitin' fer their chance."
"Ye couldnae have kent—"
"I should have kent." Magnus moved the cloth to her jaw, cleaning away the dirt and sweat. "I should have posted guards outside our chamber. Should have walked the kitchens meself before leavin' ye. Should have—"
"Magnus." Ada caught his hand, stilled its movement. "Stop. Please."
He looked at her then, really looked at her, and Ada saw something in his eyes that stole her breath. Not just rage. Not just guilt.
Fear.
Raw, terrible fear that hadn't quite faded despite her sitting here safe in front of him.
"When the alarm rang," Magnus said quietly, "and I ran tae our chamber and ye werenae there—" He stopped.
Swallowed hard. "I've never been more terrified in me life.
Nae in battle. Nae when me faither died.
Nae even when Freydis—" Another pause. "Never.
The thought of losin' ye, of someone takin' ye from me—"
Ada's heart clenched. She'd never heard him so raw. So vulnerable.
"But ye found me," she whispered. "Ye came fer me."
"I almost dinnae get there in time." Magnus set down the cloth, his hands trembling slightly.
"Another minute. Another thirty seconds.
They would have had ye through that gate and ontae horses and then—" He made a rough sound.
"I cannae even think about it without wantin' tae tear this keep apart stone by stone. "
"But they didnae. Because ye stopped them." Ada cupped his face in her hands, made him look at her. "I'm here. I'm safe. Because of ye."
"Ye're here because ye fought like a demon." Something almost like pride flickered through the fear in his eyes.
"I was terrified."
"Aye. But ye dinnae let that stop ye. Ye fought." Magnus's hands came up to cover hers where they rested against his face. "Ye were amazin', Ada. Truly. But I want tae teach ye tae fight even better. Properly. So if anything like this happens again—"
"Happens again?"
"If it happens again." His expression turned grim.
"Because we need tae root out every last one of yer faither's spies.
I want ye tae ken how tae defend yerself.
How tae strike where it hurts most. How tae free yerself if someone grabs ye.
" His thumb brushed across her knuckles. "Will ye let me teach ye?"
Ada nodded, her throat tight. "Aye. I want tae learn."
"Good." Magnus picked up the small pot of salve, scooped some onto his finger. "This is goin' tae sting worse than the water."
He was right. The salve burned like fire when he dabbed it onto her split lip. Ada hissed through her teeth but didn't pull away. Just watched his face as he worked—the furrow between his brows, the way his jaw clenched every time she winced.
Like her pain hurt him more than it hurt her.
When he finished with her lip, he moved to the bruise on her jaw.
Applied the salve with feather-light touches that shouldn't have affected her the way they did.
But something about the gentleness—about having this hard, dangerous man treating her like she was made of glass—made emotion well up in her chest.
"I'm sorry," Ada said suddenly.
Magnus looked up, startled. "Fer what?"
"Fer nae listenin' when ye told me to stay put. I went tae get me healin’ kit, but I should’ve waited." Her voice wavered. "I should have waited fer ye."
So that was why she had left the chamber.
"Ada. Stop." Magnus set down the salve, took both her hands in his. "Ye went tae get yer healin' supplies because ye thought there might be people who needed ye. That's nae somethin' tae apologize fer. That's who ye are."
"But if I'd just stayed—"
"They would have found another way. Another time." His grip tightened on her hands. "This was because yer faither is a schemin' bastard who's willin' tae use his own daughter as a pawn."
The words hit harder than they should have. Maybe because she was hearing Magnus say it out loud.
"He wanted a ransom," Ada said quietly. "I heard them talkin'. They were goin' tae demand enough gold tae bankrupt ye. Tae leave ye with nay coin fer soldiers or weapons. Tae make ye weak."
Magnus's expression went cold. "So he could attack without resistance."
"Aye." Ada's hands curled into fists in his grip. "He's been plannin' this all along. The marriage wasnae about peace, or about being favored by the Crown and getting rid of me. It was about weakenin’ ye further."
"I ken." Magnus's voice was flat. Dangerous. "I figured that out the moment I heard about the purple heather from the scout. But thinkin’ it and havin' proof are two different things. Now we have proof."
"What will ye dae?"
"What I should have done from the start." Magnus stood, pulled her up with him. "Prepare fer war. Gather our allies and make sure yer faither understands that touchin' ye—hurtin' ye—will cost him everythin' he holds dear."
The words should have frightened her. Should have made her worry about the violence to come, about the lives that would be lost.
But all Ada felt was a fierce, burning satisfaction.
Her father had tried to use her. Had treated her like property to be traded and manipulated. Had sent men to drag her away in the night like she was nothing more than a tool for his ambition.
And Magnus—the man she'd been forced to marry—was ready to go to war over it.
"Thank ye," Ada whispered.
Magnus's expression softened.
"Ada." Magnus cupped her face in both hands, his touch impossibly gentle despite the calluses on his palms. "I would burn the world to ash before I let anyone take ye from me. Dae ye understand that?"
Her breath caught. "Magnus—"
"I mean it. I ken I've nae been—I ken I've kept ye at a distance. Been afraid tae trust what I feel. But taenight, when I thought I'd lost ye—" He stopped. "I'm done bein' afraid."
Ada's heart slammed against her ribs. "What are ye sayin'?"
Just then a knock came at the door.
“It’s Mairi, me lady.”
“Come in Mairi. There’s no need, I’ve already taken care of the lady.”
“Ok, me laird,” Mairi smiled and bowed her head before closing the door.
And she heard her footsteps receding.
When she could no longer hear the healer’s footsteps, she turned to keep talking to Magnus. But almost immediately Magnus closed the distance between them and kissed her.
His kiss was desperate and claiming and full of all the fear and relief and need that had been building between them for weeks.
Ada gasped against his mouth and he took advantage, deepening the kiss until she was drowning in the taste of him. Her hands found his shoulders, gripped tight as her knees threatened to buckle.
Magnus made a rough sound low in his throat. His arms came around her waist, pulled her flush against him until she could feel every hard plane of his body through the thin fabric of her torn nightgown.
The realization sent heat flooding through her. They'd kissed before—but this was different. This was Magnus with all his walls down, all his careful control shattered by the night's events.
This was Magnus letting her see exactly how much he wanted her.
When they finally broke apart, both breathing hard, Magnus rested his forehead against hers. "I shouldnae have done that. Ye're hurt and exhausted and—"
"Dinnae ye dare apologize fer kissin' me." Ada's fingers curled into his shirt. "Dinnae ye dare."
"I'm nae apologizin'. I'm just—" He pulled back enough to look at her, his hazel eyes dark in the firelight. "Ye need rest. And I need tae nae lose control when ye're barely holdin' yerself taegether."
"I'm nae the one barely holdin' together." Ada pressed her hand over his heart, felt it thundering beneath her palm. "Yer heart is racin' faster than mine."
"Because ye're in me arms and yer nightgown is torn and—" Magnus stopped himself. Closed his eyes. "We should stop."
But his hands didn't release her. Didn't move from where they rested at her waist.
Ada rose up on her toes, pressed a kiss to the corner of his jaw. "What if I dinnae want tae stop?"
Magnus groaned. "Ada—"
"Ye said ye were done bein' afraid." Another kiss, this one just below his ear. She felt him shudder. "So stop bein' afraid and kiss me again."
"Lass, ye dinnae ken what ye're askin'—"
"I ken exactly what I'm askin'." Ada pulled back, met his gaze steadily despite the heat flooding her cheeks. "I want ye and I think—I think ye want me too."
His jaw clenched. "Want daesnae even begin tae cover it."
"Then why—" Ada stopped, the question dying on her lips as understanding hit her.
"Ye're afraid ye'll hurt me."
Magnus didn't deny it. Just looked at her with such raw vulnerability that her chest ached.
"I willnae break," Ada said softly. "I promise. I've survived me fatiher's cruelty fer years. I survived taenight. I'm stronger than ye think."
"I ken ye're strong. That's nae—" He exhaled roughly. "I've been so careful with ye. So controlled. Because I was afraid that if I let meself truly want ye—truly need ye—I'd lose that control completely. And then ye'd see what I really am beneath all this."
"What ye really are?" Ada frowned. "Magnus, what—"