Chapter 23 #2
"A man who wants things he shouldnae want. Who feels things too deeply despite spendin' years tryin' nae tae feel at all." His hands tightened on her waist. "A man who's terrified that if he lets himself love ye, he'll nae survive losin' ye."
The word hung between them. Love.
He hadn't quite said it. Not directly to her. But it was there. In the way he looked at her. In the way he'd charged through fire and chaos to reach her.
"Then dinnae lose me," Ada whispered. "I'm right here. I'm nae goin' anywhere."
Magnus stared at her for a long moment. Then, slowly, he bent and kissed her again. Softer this time. Sweeter. Like he was memorizing the taste of her.
Ada melted into it, her hands sliding up into his hair. She felt his control waver, felt the careful restraint he'd been maintaining start to crack.
His lips moved from her mouth to her jaw, pressing kisses along the unmarked side. Down to her throat, where her pulse hammered. Ada's head fell back, giving him access, her breath coming faster.
"Magnus," she breathed.
His hands moved up her sides, careful to avoid her bruises. One palm cupped her breast then gently worked the nipple through the thin fabric of her nightgown and Ada gasped at the sensation. At the heat that flooded through her, pooling low in her belly.
That was what she'd been waiting for. What she'd been hoping for every night they'd shared that bed with that careful distance between them.
Magnus lifted his head, his eyes meeting hers. Dark with desire but still cautious. Still giving her a chance to stop this.
"Please," Ada whispered. "Dinnae stop."
Something in his expression shifted. The last of his control finally, finally breaking.
Magnus swept her up into his arms—carefully, mindful of her injuries—and carried her to the bed. Laid her down on the furs and blankets with a gentleness that belied the hunger in his eyes.
"Ye're certain?" he asked, his voice rough. "Because once I start, Ada, I dinnae ken if I'll be able tae stop."
"Then dinnae." She reached up, pulled him down to her. "Show me what ye've been holdin' back. Show me what ye really feel."
Magnus groaned and captured her mouth again. His body covered hers, careful of her weight but letting her feel the full length of him pressed against her.
Ada's hands explored the broad planes of his back, feeling muscles flex beneath her palms. She'd seen him shirtless during training, had admired the raw power of him from a distance. But having him there, over her, his warmth seeping into her skin—it was overwhelming in the best possible way.
His hand slid up her thigh, pushing the nightgown higher. Ada arched into his touch, desire overriding any embarrassment she might have felt. She wanted that. Wanted him.
Wanted to finally close that last distance he'd been so careful to maintain.
Magnus's lips moved from her mouth to her throat, trailing fire down to the neckline of her gown. His hand cupped her breast again, thumb circling until Ada couldn't suppress the soft sound that escaped her.
"Beautiful," he murmured against her skin. "Ye're so damn beautiful, Ada."
She wanted to respond, wanted to tell him how long she'd been waiting for it, but then his mouth closed over her breast through the fabric and all coherent thought fled.
Ada's fingers tangled in his hair, holding him to her. The sensation was exquisite—heat and pressure and the scrape of fabric between them that somehow made it more intense rather than less.
Magnus lifted his head, his eyes meeting hers. "I need tae see ye. All of ye. Can I?"
"Aye." Ada's voice came out breathless. "Please, aye."
His hands found the torn edges of her nightgown, carefully drawing it up and over her head. The firelight painted her bare skin in shades of gold and amber, and Ada felt suddenly exposed.
Magnus went very still. His gaze traveled over her, taking in every curve and hollow, every freckle and scar. Ada resisted the urge to cover herself, to hide from that intense scrutiny.
"Perfect," he said finally, his voice rough with emotion. "Ye're perfect."
Then he was kissing her again, his hands mapping her body with reverent touches that made her shiver. Ada tugged at his shirt, desperate to feel his skin against hers, and Magnus pulled back enough to yank it over his head.
The sight of him—bare-chested and powerful, firelight gleaming on the serpent inked across his forearm—made her breath catch. She'd seen him already, but never had she been allowed to touch. Never had those hazel eyes looked at her with such naked want.
Ada reached out, traced the lines of muscle across his chest. Felt his heart thundering beneath her palm, as wild as her own.
"I want ye," she whispered. "All of ye. Now. Please, Magnus."
He groaned, his forehead dropping to rest against hers. "We should go slow. Ye've been through so much tonight—"
"I've been waitin' fer weeks." Ada's hand slid lower, over the hard plane of his stomach. "I dinnae want slow. I want ye tae show me what ye've been holdin' back."
Magnus captured her hand before it could go any lower. Brought it to his lips, kissed her palm. "Then hold on to me, lass. Because I dinnae think I can be gentle."
"Good." Ada pulled him down, claimed his mouth in a kiss that left no doubt about what she wanted. "I dinnae want gentle. I want ye."
But even as pleasure built between them, even as Magnus's kisses grew more heated and his touches more urgent, Ada felt him holding something back. Felt him keeping that final barrier in place even as their bodies pressed together.
When she reached for the laces of his trousers, his hand caught hers again.
"Nae taenight," he said, his voice strained. "Tonight, is about ye. About makin' sure ye're all right."
"But I want—"
"I ken what ye want." Magnus kissed her softly. "And we'll get there. Now let me take care of ye,” he murmured. “Let me show ye what it feels like to be wanted. Cherished.””
He looked up at her then, eyes dark, intent, as though that was exactly where he meant to be. His hands were steady as he guided them down, searching for her sacred spot and when his fingers caressed her nub, she felt her whole body trembling.
“Look at me,” he murmured.
She did. And the moment stretched, taut and breathless, before he leaned in this time—unhurried, thorough, utterly focused on her.
Before she could speak, before she could question him, his mouth traced a slow, deliberate path over her skin—unhurried, reverent, as though he were learning her anew.
Ada’s fingers tangled in his hair as sensation overtook thought, her body arching instinctively toward him and when his mouth reached her wetness she felt out of this world.
“Ye’re so ready fer me, lass,” Magnus murmured as his tongue played with her nub and his finger slowly breached her wetness. She felt boneless and didn’t expect even more pleasure could exist until Magnus added a second finger, without stopping the dance of his tongue.
“Oh me God.”
Magnus took his time. He learned her reactions, adjusted to every hitch of her breath, every tremor that ran through her when sensation built too fast, too sharp. He didn’t rush her through it. Didn’t let her slip away from it either.
Ada’s fingers curled into his hair, her head tipping back as the world narrowed to heat and rhythm and the way he held her there—grounded, present, unwavering—until thought dissolved entirely.
She felt heat and desire pool low until it was unbearable.
“Magnus, I—”
“Let go fer me, Ada, let go.”
And she did, feeling the world shatter around her and a pleasure she could never have imagined overtook her. By the time he finally rose again, her body felt boneless, loose with pleasure, her pulse still racing beneath her skin. She could barely keep her eyes open, let alone form words.
“Now let me take care of ye,” she said trying to touch him, but he went up and kissed her lips gently removing her hand and taking it in hers.
Ada wanted to argue. Wanted to push past that last wall he was keeping between them. But exhaustion was catching up with her now, making her limbs heavy with pleasure and her thoughts slow.
"Why?" she whispered. "Why willnae ye… "
"Because I'm nae ready yet," Magnus said quietly, gathering her against his chest.
The words hurt more than Ada expected. Even after everything they'd just done, after he'd been so gentle and fierce and protective, he still didn't trust her completely.
Still didn't think she deserved all of him.
Ada closed her eyes against the sting of tears. "I understand."
But she didn't. Not really.
And as Magnus held her, his arms warm and secure around her, Ada couldn't help wondering if he ever would.