5. Rachel
5
Rachel
O n Monday morning, I walk towards the main house at seven-fifty as Preston comes out the door. He gives me a smile that seems a bit reserved. Is he in business mode again?
I smile brightly, hoping it’ll catch on. “Good morning.”
“Morning.”
“So, you’re off to work?”
He frowns at my obvious question. “Yes.”
“Is everything okay?”
He nods as he steps off the porch and heads for the car that is waiting for him. He stops at the backseat door and looks at me.
“It’s nothing personal. I just don’t like Mondays...”
“Okay. Good.”
“I’m assuming you’re comfortable with the idea of being in charge of Lilly all day.”
“Of course. We’ll be fine.”
He nods. “Right. Okay, then.” He opens the car door but stops when I put a hand on his arm. He looks at my hand, then at me.
I remove my hand. “I don’t want you to worry about Lilly. We’ll get on just fine. ”
He takes a moment. “I’m sorry. I’m just having a little trouble leaving her with someone who isn’t…”
“Her grandmother?”
“Yeah. No offense. It’s not you. It’s just the idea of a nanny.”
“I get it. You can call anytime and check up on us. I won’t be offended.”
“I might do that.”
I smile at him. “Please do. I don’t want you worrying about her all day.”
He nods again, then gets into the car. “Don’t let her get away with too much.”
“I won’t.”
“Okay.” He closes the door, and I back up a few feet as the car pulls out. I haven’t been worried at all about taking care of Lilly until now. I don’t know if he can see me, but I wave at the car. No pressure. I got this.
I hear the front door slam and Lilly runs across the porch and down the steps. “What are we going to do today?”
“Well, I thought the first thing we could do is go to the pond and you could introduce me to the koi. Benjy tells me you’ve named them all.”
“I did.”
“Let’s go then.”
Lilly does indeed have names for all ten of the koi in the pond and she introduces me to all of them. Then we feed them some special pellets and help Benjy pull out some of the overgrown plants around the edge of the pond. While we work, Benjy tells us how special they are.
“Koi bring you good luck. They’re a symbol of strength, courage, and perseverance.” He leans close to Lilly. “According to Japanese legend, koi swim against the strongest currents in search of a special waterfall. Should they find it and successfully ascend the falling water, they will become dragons and fly away.”
Lilly’s eyes grow big. “Dragons? Cool.”
I look at the fish in the pond. “Good thing these guys are safe in the pond. Not a waterfall in sight.”
“But I want them to turn into dragons.”
Benji laughs. “That would be a sight to see.”
We leave Benjy to go have lunch and while we are eating, my phone rings. It’s Preston. I excuse myself and leave the dining room to answer the call.
“Hi.”
“Rachel. How’s it going?”
“Great. We’re eating lunch. We spent the morning at the koi pond. Did you know koi can turn into dragons if they swim up the right waterfall?”
“Actually, I did. Benjy told me that story about twenty years ago.”
“So, he’s been with the family a while too, then.”
“Yes.” He is quiet for a moment. “I want to apologize for this morning.”
“I don’t remember you doing anything to apologize for.”
“I was grumpy. I’m not fond of Mondays.”
“You mentioned that.”
“What’s the plan for the rest of the day?”
“I think we’re going to go swimming this afternoon.”
“Sounds fun. I’ll be at a board meeting.”
“I win.”
“Yes, you do. I’ve got to go. I’ll see you tonight.”
“Have fun at your board meeting.”
“Goodbye, Rachel. ”
He ends the call, and I go back to Lilly and my lunch. I give her a smile. “How about a swim after lunch?”
“Yippee!”
We spend the next few weeks in much the same manner. We’d explore the grounds and find something interesting to keep us occupied for a few hours. Then we’d spend the afternoon in the pool. Preston leaves in the mornings in a better mood than he had been on that first Monday, and we all have a pleasant dinner every night. Lilly will spend the meal talking about what we did that day.
I believe Preston is pleased with how things are going and not so against the idea of a nanny anymore. At least I hope so. I hope he likes the job I am doing with Lilly because I sure like taking care of her. She is a sweetheart, with just an occasional outburst when she doesn’t get her way. But she gets over it quick enough. And I like him, too. Handsomeness aside, he is interesting and I like spending time with him.
On a Thursday afternoon, we are at the pool and I am sitting on the edge with my legs in the water, watching Lilly. I’ve been swimming and my hair is in that weird stage of being half dry but a tangled mess from being wet. The last person I want to see me is Preston. So when I hear someone behind me, I am afraid to see who it is.
When Lilly yells, “Daddy!” My worst nightmare comes true. I turn and look up at him.
“Hey, you’re home early.” I hope he’ll say a quick “hi,” then go to the house but he doesn’t.
He sits down on the end of a chaise and smiles at me. “You’re very observant. ”
I turn back to the water, feeling vulnerable in my swimsuit. It is a fairly modest one, but still, I am in a swimsuit in front of my boss. And not just any boss but my handsome, muscular boss. I wonder if he felt like this when I saw him in the pool on Sunday. Probably not. When you look like he did in a swimsuit, you don’t care who sees you.
Lilly dog paddles to the edge of the pool and hangs from the side. “Daddy, come swim with us.”
He glances at me. “No, I can’t kiddo. Not today.”
“But I want to jump.”
“We’ll swim this weekend.”
I run a hand over my hair, which does nothing. It’s hopeless. Why is he just sitting there? I don’t want to get up and wrap a towel around me. That will just show him how self-conscious I am. So I sit and wait for him to leave.
He stretches out his legs and crosses his ankles. “I thought we might have pizza tonight.”
Lilly splashes the water. “Yay! Can we eat at the picnic table?”
“Sure, that sounds fun. What do you think, Rachel?”
“I love pizza.”
He bends his knees again and gets to his feet. “I’ll order it in about an hour.”
I smile up at him and nod.
It looks like he is going to say something, but then he changes his mind. He walks away, and I turn to watch him go. From now on, we get out of the pool before four o’clock.
I wash the pool water out of my hair before dinner, hoping it’ll remind Preston that I don’t always look like a drowned rat and then meet them for dinner. He seems distracted while we eat our pizza, and I wonder what has happened between our meeting at the pool and dinner. His whole attitude has changed. When we are done, he asks me if I’ll meet him on the back porch in twenty minutes.
“Of course.” Was he mad? Unhappy? Did I do something wrong? I guess I’ll find out.
Preston is sitting on a wooden Adirondack chair when I come out. He motions toward a matching chair. “Have a seat.”
I perch on the edge of it. “Am I in trouble?”
He seems to relax a little. “No. On the contrary, I want to thank you for doing such a good job with Lilly.”
“Oh.” I settle into the chair. “Thank you.”
“It seems even Mrs. Cartwright approves of you.”
“Wow. Really?” She’s never said more than a word or two to me. And I’ve never gotten a smile from her. “I guess that’s something.”
“It’s a big something.”
I glance at him. “I was afraid your mood at the table was because you were unhappy with me.”
“My mood?” He sighs. “I really try to leave work at the door. But sometimes, it creeps inside with me.”
“Anything serious?”
“No. Just normal business headache stuff.” He looks at me for a long moment. “There is something else I’d like to talk to you about.”
“Okay.”
“I’m no longer worried about Lilly making the adjustment from her grandmother to you. And I’ve come to accept the whole nanny concept.”
“Is there a “but” coming?”
“No. I find myself being…envious of the time you get to spend with Lilly.”
I shake my head. “She loves you. And you make the most of your time with her.”
“I know. I try. But I don’t feel it’s enough.”
I cock my head at him. “Aren’t you the boss? Can’t you take more time off if you want to?”
“I wish it was that simple.” He looks at the doubt in my eyes. “What?”
“It’s not my place to say anything.”
“Please say what’s on your mind.”
I take a moment. “I know you have responsibilities. A business to run. People who depend on you for their livelihoods. But Lilly will only be young for so long. It goes by really fast.”
“So, what are you suggesting?”
“If it’s a matter of maintaining a certain lifestyle, it seems like you could crunch the numbers a lot and still be able to give Lilly a good life. I mean, honestly, how much money does one need?”
He sighs. “Like I said, it’s not that simple.”
“Right. Of course. I’m just a nanny. I don’t know anything about the world you live in. Except by observing it from the outside.”
“And what have you observed?”
“I shouldn’t say anymore.”
“Too late now.”
“I’ve worked for a few families. None of them were in your income bracket. But it seems they aren’t very happy and their kids certainly aren’t happy.”
“You don’t think Lilly and I are happy?”
“You are an exception. Lilly seems very happy. I’m not worried about her.”
“You’re worried about me?”
I’m not sure whether to answer him or not. “A little, yeah.”
He gets to his feet. “Well, it’s not your job to worry about me. It’s your job to take care of Lilly. ”
I look up at him. “Yes. You’re right.”
“You should go check on her. It’s almost bath time.”
I stand. “Of course. I’ll go take care of that.”
He goes to the porch railing and looks out at the yard as I walk behind him and go into the house. You asked. You kept telling me to speak my mind.
Before I go inside, he speaks again. “I’m okay, Rachel. You don’t need to worry about me.”
“Okay. I’m glad to hear that.” The man is not okay .