6. Preston
6
Preston
I t bothers me that Rachel thinks I’m not happy. I am as happy as a man in my circumstances can be. After losing my wife, I accepted the fact that I would never be truly happy again. I had Lilly, and that was all the happiness I needed.
As I’m tucking Lilly in on Friday night, she gives me the smile she always gives me when she wants something.
“What’s on your mind, bug?” I tuck her favorite bear in next to her.
“Is tomorrow Saturday?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Our adventure day.”
“Yes. What would you like to do?”
“Can we go to the cabin?”
The cabin is more of a shack. It is on the far side of the property and is a fairly long hike.
“Are you sure you want to go that far? It’s a long walk.”
She nods. “Yeah. I want to go to the cabin. I want to show it to Rachel.”
I try not to react negatively. I don’t want to get her upset before bed.
“I know you like Rachel, but you spent all week with her. Don’t you want a day with just me? ”
She thinks about the question, then looks at me. I assume she is deciding whether she wants to hurt my feelings or not.
She hugs the stuffed bear. “It’s okay, Daddy. You’re fun, too.”
No one ever showed me the passage in the parent handbook that says you’re going to spend a fair amount of time feeling guilty. I sigh. “If you really want her to come, I’ll ask her.”
She sits up and hugs me. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me yet. She might have other plans.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. But I’m sure she has things to do on her weekends.”
“But you’ll ask her?”
“Yes, I’ll ask her.” I lay her back down. “Now, time for sleep. We have a big adventure tomorrow.”
“I love you, Daddy.”
“I love you, too.”
I leave her room and think about bringing Rachel to the cabin tomorrow. It isn’t a horrible idea, but she is probably busy. I decide to go ask her now before it gets too late.
When I get within two feet of her door, it bursts open, and a cloud of smoke comes out, followed by Rachel. She stops short when she sees me.
I look past her at the doorway. “Is the house on fire?”
“No. It’s just the woodstove.”
I walk past her and into the smoke-filled room to the woodstove and open the damper all the way. She followed me in and when I head for the door, I take her arm and bring her outside with me.
“You didn’t open the damper.”
“Damper?”
“It should be fine now.” I cough. “It’s June. Why did you light the woodstove? ”
“It’s cool out here in the country.”
“Not that cool.”
She shrugs. “I just thought a fire would be nice.” She peers inside the door. The smoke is clearing out now that it has someplace to go. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s just a little smoke. It’ll clear out soon.”
“You must think I’m an idiot.”
I motion toward a chair. “Have a seat. I’ll go open the windows.”
When I come back out, she is perched on the edge of the chair. “Is it okay in there?”
“No permanent damage. Although it’ll smell like smoke for a while. Mrs. Cartwright might give you some grief about it.”
“And she was just starting to like me.”
“Like isn’t really in her vocabulary.”
“Right. She approves of me.”
I lean against the railing and she looks at me. “Why are you here?”
“Tomorrow is Saturday.”
“Yes, it is.”
“Do you have stuff to do? Shopping, friends to see?”
“Not really. Why?”
“Lilly wants to invite you to our day of adventure.”
Rachel smiles. “She’s so sweet. But I can’t interfere again.” She smiles at me. “Did she go all Carrie , again?”
“No. Because I didn’t say no.”
She nods. “You want to make me the bad guy?”
I laugh. “That’s not my intention. If you’d like to come, you’re more than welcome.”
“Does this adventure involve snakes or bugs?”
“Well, I can’t guarantee we won’t run into any but the chances are pretty slim. There’s an old cabin on the property. It’s rustic but still standing. She likes to go there and hang out. There’s a big swing in the tree out front and a pond with frogs and ducks. Do you have a problem with frogs?”
“No. Frogs are cool.”
“So…?”
“If you’re sure you don’t mind, I’d love to go.”
I straighten up from the rail. “Good. That’ll make Lilly happy. It’s a bit of a hike so wear good shoes and pants. There might be mosquitos on our way back. They come out at dusk.”
“I’ll be ready.”
“Okay.” I nod toward the door. “Next time you build a fire, open the damper.”
“Got it. I’m glad I didn’t burn your house down.”
“So am I.”
I leave her and go back to my house. I am glad she is coming. Lilly will be happy, and that makes me happy.
The next morning, I have breakfast with Lilly and then get her dressed in preparation for the day. She is all set in her high-top tennis shoes, jeans, a T-shirt, and a long-sleeved cotton shirt to wear over it if the mosquitos come out.
Rachel must’ve been watching for us because when we go out to the front yard, she comes out of her door. She is dressed appropriately too, in jeans, hiking boots, a T-shirt, and a light jacket tied around her waist. My attention is drawn to her graceful curves, a quick glance reveals her beautiful silhouette.
Laura packed us a lunch and some bottled water in a backpack. I slip it on as Rachel comes up to us.
She smiles at Lilly and hugs her. “Looks like we are all ready for an adventure day. ”
Lilly takes her hand. “I hope you don’t get scared by any snakes today.”
“You and me both, kiddo.”
They walk ahead of me on the trail for a while, then Rachel glances back at me and lets Lilly go ahead. I come up beside her.
She smiles. “So far. So good.” When I raise an eyebrow, she adds, “Not a bug or snake in sight.”
“Just stay on the trail. You should be fine.”
“How far is the cabin?”
“About two miles.”
“Your property goes two miles?”
“My grandfather had a ranch here at one time. Fancied himself a cowboy.”
“Interesting.”
“He lasted about six years, then he sold all his cattle and moved back to the city.”
“Is the cabin we’re going to his?” she questions.
“It was a haybarn for the cattle. Then my father and I spent a summer turning it into a cabin when I was in high school.”
“So you built it?”
“I pounded a lot of nails and cut a lot of lumber. But it was more of a renovation than a build. And like I said last night, it’s pretty rustic.”
“I’m excited to see it,” she smiles.
“Don’t expect too much.”
“Well, it’s pretty cool that you got to build something with your dad.”
“Yeah. At the time I wasn’t too happy doing it. But when he died two years later, I was thankful for the time we spent there.”
“I’m sorry. ”
I shrug. Once again, I have no idea why I am telling Rachel stuff I never talk to anyone else about.
“And now you get to share it with Lilly. That’s really special.”
I need to change the subject. Lilly helps with that. She stops walking and points to something in the trees. We join her and spot a doe and her two fawns.
I kneel next to Lilly, and she whispers, “They’re so cute.”
I whisper back. “Shh. Be really quiet so we don’t scare them.”
The three of us watch the deer for several minutes. Then the wind changes, and the doe catches a whiff of us. She looks in our direction then runs off with her fawns right behind her.
Lilly waves at them. “Bye, deer.”
I stand and pat her head. “Okay, let’s keep going.”
Forty-five minutes later, we reach the clearing with the cabin. I glance at Rachel to see what her reaction is when she sees it.
She smiles. “Wow, it’s beautiful.”
I laugh. “Beautiful? That’s not a word I’d really use to describe it.”
“No, it is. I love it.”
The cabin sits in a grassy clearing surrounded by pine trees. It still looks like a small barn on the outside with shiplap siding, a rounded metal roof, and a small front porch. My father and I had originally cleared the brush from around the cabin, but it is slowly creeping back in.
The small pond can be seen through the trees. It is spring-fed and still has a lot of water in it even though it is midsummer. Lilly’s favorite thing is the big oak tree in front of the cabin with a tire swing on it. When we moved to the property, I had someone make sure it was safe before I let her use it.
She runs to it now and puts her legs through the tire. “Push me, Daddy.”
I set the backpack on the porch and go to push the swing. She squeals in delight and asks to go higher.
After a few minutes, I give her a final big push. “Okay, I want to show Rachel the inside of the cabin.”
Rachel follows me up the two steps to the porch, then we go inside. It has gotten cloudy the last half of our walk, so it is pretty dim inside. I light a gas lantern sitting on the counter then hold it up.
“This is it.”
She looks around. “I love it. It’s great.”
The cabin is one single room with a counter on one side that serves as the kitchen. There is a camp stove to cook on, a plastic tub to hold water, and a small collection of random dishes. There is no power or running water and the bathroom is an outhouse behind the house.
There is a couch and two big easy chairs nestled around a big woodstove. And in the corner opposite the kitchen area is a mattress and box spring on the floor.
Rachel looks at the bed and I smile. “We talked about hauling a bedframe in here, but it never happened.”
“How often do you stay the night here?”
“Every ten years or so. I haven’t slept here since the last time I was here with my dad.”
“It’s so clean.”
“Benjy keeps an eye on it. He comes about once a month and spends the night. He actually loves this place.”
“Well, I love it too. You should spend the night here with Lilly sometime. ”
Lilly comes through the door and hears what Rachel says. She takes my hand. “Can we, Daddy? Can we spend the night?”
“No, honey. Not tonight. We’re not prepared to do that. We don’t have food or water. No extra clothes. Besides, Laura would wonder why we weren’t home for dinner.” I glance at Rachel. “But I promise we’ll come spend the night before school starts.”
“Yay!” She looks at Rachel. “Do you want to come spend the night with us?”
Rachel gives her a smile. “I think that should be a special daddy and daughter outing. But I’ll be very excited to hear all about it when you come back.”
Lilly seems satisfied with that and heads for the door.
I call after her. “Stay close and don’t go to the pond without us.”
“Yes, Daddy.”
Rachel smiles at me shyly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to put ideas in her head.”
“The idea has been in her head for a while. It’s about time we do it.”
At the sound of thunder in the distance, we both go outside to the porch. The clouds are rolling in now and they are dark and heavy with rain.