27. Tanner
TANNER
“I’m glad you’re enjoying your trip,” I tell my mother after a five-minute monologue of the different places they’ve been to over the last two weeks. “Is Dad there?” I ask, already bracing for the excuse I know is coming.
“He just ran into town. Do you want me to have him call you?” she replies, both of us not saying the quiet part out loud.
He won’t call.
And he’s probably not in town.
Since coming out, my relationship with my father has been strained. I know he loves me, but my divorcing Fallon hit him hard and then telling him I’m gay blindsided him in a way I should have expected.
But I didn’t. I just wanted my dad.
Clearing my throat, I shake my head even though she can’t see me. “No, that’s all right. I’ll catch up with him next time we talk.”
“All right, Tanner. Please give Briggs our love.”
“I will,” I tell her, annoyed that she doesn’t include Fallon in that sentiment. Fallon and I ended on better-than-good terms and she’s supported me and shown me unconditional love, which is more than I can say for either of my parents.
Disconnecting the call, I stare at the device as my life comes into a strange and also very clear focus.
I’d been angsting over everything related to Deacon and Briggs and even Fallon when it really hadn’t been any of those things bothering me.
Grabbing my keys from the table, I let my front door bang shut as I hustle across the porch to my car. How did I miss this?
I’ve already pulled onto the main road by the time that particular question has bounced around my head. There’s an aching hole in my chest that would definitely consume me if not for the flicker of hope that refuses to wane. The flame is barely glowing but it’s there. I feel it.
Turning down the dirt driveway, I slow my speed, not wanting to get yelled at for kicking up dust when I know better.
I already feel lighter as I pull my car up to the porch and put it in park. The farmhouse feels like home in a way I can’t explain. I’ve never had any attachment to a physical place, but this is different—it was different from the first time I came here.
Or maybe it’s just the people who live here that make the difference, the ones who went out of their way to make sure I knew I was welcome in their space.
That I belong.
My steps are muffled as I cross the long wooden planks and knock on the door quickly before opening it and poking my head in. “Flora?”
“Tanner? Oh! Come in, darlin’. It’s been too long!” She beams as she wipes her hands on a towel and closes the distance between us. Her arms wrap me in a hug that is so much stronger than her petite frame suggests, and I hug her back because I need it.
“Thought that was your car,” Vincent Thayer says, his lips twitching up into a smile as he holds out his hand. “Good to see you, son.”
Son.
It’s enough to make me blink back tears. Flora must notice because gentle hands cup my face as she pulls my head down to meet her gaze. “Who do I have to hurt?”
I huff out a laugh because I know she’s as serious as she is trying to provide some levity.
“No one, I just—”
“This sounds like we’re going to need a snack,” she says, taking my elbow and leading me toward the large table. “Have a seat. Vincent, can you grab the blue and white platter up there?”
Dropping into a seat, I resist the urge to offer to help.
She’s in mama mode as she calls it, and honestly, I could use being fussed over right now.
So I settle in and look around, taking in the white cabinets and cozy country feel.
It’s perfect. Flora’s always in her element here, her shoulder-length auburn hair swaying as she hustles around the room.
When the platter is filled and a glass of sweet tea is placed on the table, I break, the weight of not just today, but so many days falling from my shoulders.
“I’m dating someone,” I start, neither of them saying anything like they know that’s not the end of my declaration, and they’re right. “A man.” Glancing up, Flora is smiling and Vincent’s lips are curved up on one side. “Deacon Rhodes, actually.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful,” Flora gushes. “He’s such a nice boy. He’s helped with some of the construction at the library when we needed to remodel a couple of years ago. You remember him, don’t you, Vincent?”
“Sure, I used to play cards with his father before he passed. He loved those boys something fierce. Things goin’ well?”
“They are,” I admit slowly. “I just…”
“Whatever it is, Tanner, we will help you anyway we can,” Flora coos gently, reaching across the table to place her hand over mine. “I can see you’re struggling to find the words, so how about a funny story?”
“Sure.” I agree, picking a piece of my turnover off and popping it into my mouth. Flaky, buttery pastry hits my tongue and I already feel better.
Flora’s cooking always seems to have that effect.
“Otto sat in that same seat when Fallon and Briggs landed back here. He was tryin’ to tell me how he’d fallen in love with Briggs and that he wanted to show Fallon that he wanted to step up and be a partner, but what came out was I love him.
” She grins and I do the same. “We love all our kids no matter what, but that threw me for a loop considering he’s been pinin’ over Fallon for his whole life. ”
“I can imagine.”
“Anyway, I hustled outta my chair and wrapped him in a hug, thinkin’ he was declaring his love for a boy he’d been keeping a secret.”
“I guess it was a boy in a way.” My chest warms at her story, at the way Otto had fallen in love with my son and the reassurance that I—we—are safe and loved here.
“It was, just not the way I imagined.” She squeezes my hand. “Now, who is it I have to have a talkin’ to?”
“That’s my job, Flora,” Vincent murmurs behind her and I let my shoulders sag.
“Things were hard when I told my parents Fallon and I were getting a divorce, but they became strained when I came out to them, my father especially. I’ve had such a hard time feeling like it’s okay for me to be happy.” Clearing my throat, I add, “I talked to my mom today and realized why.”
“Flora…” Vincent’s voice is low and full of warning, making her huff as she glances back at him.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You’re thinkin’ it,” he replies.
“I’m allowed to think it,” she insists pointedly to her husband before giving me a sympathetic smile.
“How can we support you? You should know you’re one of ours, right?
” she says, and I nod. “Good. So, you tell us what you need. Family dinner? Or we can keep it intimate and have dinner just the four of us. As long as he treats you right, he’s always welcome here. ”
This time I’m not quick enough to stave off the tears, one escaping the corner of my eye to slide down my cheek.
They never had to accept me.
But they welcomed me with open arms.
They welcomed their son’s new girlfriend’s ex-husband into their home and lives without a second thought.
They don’t have to love me.
But they do.
I feel the love radiating from Flora, and while Vincent is a little more stoic, I know that he cares, and I know that he’d weather any storm by my side because that’s the kind of man he is.
“I think I’d like to bring him here, for dinner.”
“Wonderful. You just let me know when it works for you and we’ll take care of the rest.”
“I can’t tell you what this means to me.” My voice is hoarse with the admission because this is what I’ve been missing. I don’t need anyone’s approval, but I can’t deny the way it lights me up inside and makes me feel like I belong.
Like I’m worthy.
“You,” Vincent booms, the volume startling me a bit as his serious blue eyes meet mine, “are part of this family. Flora tends to be more vocal about things but only because she speaks for me too, for all of us. You’re family and whoever you love, we’ll love too.”
It’s the conviction in his voice that breaks the dam, tears now flowing freely down my cheeks as I press my fists into my eyes.
I can hear the scrape of the chair and the combined footsteps of them both, but it’s Flora’s arms that surround me and Vincent’s hand on my shoulder that grounds me in this moment.
Two people choosing to build me up.
Stand with me.
To love me like I’ve never truly been loved before.
It’s something I’ll never take for granted because this is where acceptance starts—in a home, in a family that’s chosen me, that’s given me life.
And now, I need to start living.