29. Deacon
DEACON
Ican’t remember the last time I woke up with someone in my arms, and something about that has me smiling as I pull Tanner tighter against me. He fits perfectly, his back to my chest as the sun peeks through the blinds, his body warm and pushing back into me as he slowly comes awake.
“I have to admit,” he starts, his voice heavy with sleep as he rubs his eyes, “this is certainly a different way to wake up than I’m used to.”
“Yeah?” I ask, pressing a kiss to his bare shoulder as my palm slides down his side and over his hip. “Tell me.”
“Well,” he breathes, turning slightly to give me better access to his front, “most times I’m alone but when I have Briggs, it’s usually something like bruh, can you, like, make food? I’m starving.”
I chuckle, my fingertips dipping under the waistband of his boxers to wrap around the base of his dick.
“I’ll have to convince you to wake up like this more often then, won’t I?”
“No convincing necessary,” he moans.
“What about getting you into the shower?”
“Sure.” His ass grinds against my dick, and I bite back the curse that wants to escape, the image of me sliding in and out of him still just a fantasy, but soon, so fucking soon, it will be real.
“Tanner.” His name is a warning, and he whimpers as I pull my hand from his underwear. “I’ll take care of you, don’t worry.”
“I’m not worried, just hard,” he grumbles into the pillow, making me smile as I pull myself from the bed.
“Come shower with me.”
“I just want the record to show I’m doing this under duress.”
“Duress, huh?”
“It’s early.”
“I’ll feed you.”
He opens one sleepy eye, turning his head to peer over his bare shoulder. “Is that a dick joke?”
“It wasn’t,”—I grin wolfishly—“but now that you mention it…” I make a point of gripping myself through my thin cotton boxers, his gaze following the movement as he rolls onto his back.
Tanner’s movements are full of grace as he pulls himself up from the mattress to stand before me, his boxers tented as he presses us hip to hip. “I liked it.”
“Glad to hear it,” I murmur before pausing as Tanner’s phone vibrates on the nightstand, not just a text but a call.
“Hold on,” he grumbles, staring at the screen before swiping his finger across it and putting the device to his ear. I can’t hear everything but I have the gist by the time he gives me an apologetic smile and says, “Are you free for dinner tonight at Flora’s?”
My lips twitch as I let my gaze rake over him. “Sure.”
He flushes, pink spreading over his bare chest and up his throat as he looks away, his dick hardening as he tries to focus. “We’ll be there. Okay, are you sure? Yes, okay, we’ll see you then.”
Disconnecting the call, he tosses the phone onto the bed and runs a hand over his hair.
“Dinner will be great,” I reassure him, closing the distance and running my hands from his shoulders down his arms to thread my fingers with his.
Nodding slowly, I give him the time he needs to work through whatever it is he’s struggling with, my thumbs brushing over his knuckles while I wait.
“Sometimes it’s hard to accept their love that’s given so freely when my parents’ has become conditional if it’s even there at all.
You’ve lost your parents and by all accounts they were great, and mine are alive and choosing not to be present for me or my son. It’s not fair, and sometimes I think—”
“Life isn’t fair, Tanner. And you deserve the love that you’ve found here.
It’s incredible because you didn’t ask for it and it remains.
Unconditionally. If I’ve learned nothing else in my time in this town, it’s that family doesn’t define you.
It can mold and shape you, but the way you choose to live is ultimately yours.
You’ve chosen your family, Tanner, and that’s stronger than blood will ever be. ”
“I feel like I should be over it by now.”
“There’s no timeline for grieving.”
“They’re not dead.”
“Not physically, but they’re killing their relationship with you, and sometimes grieving someone that’s still living is harder than if they died. You’re mourning the what-ifs and those have no answer.”
“I don’t want my hangups with them to sabotage what we have, what we’re building.”
“It won’t.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because I won’t let it. If you’re honest with me about how you’re feeling then we can figure it out together. Everyone has baggage, and yours is not a deal-breaker.”
“I don’t want more kids and you’re still young. You could have a family.” Tanner’s words are a challenge, and even though he’s hurting, my heart breaks a little at the prospect of not building a bigger family with him and Briggs.
It’s also too soon to even think about it.
“I can have a family with you,” I say slowly, “and we can revisit this at a later time when you’re not just trying to scare me off.”
“I’m sorry, I just—”
“Don’t try to hurt me to prove the people you care about leave. If I leave, it’s because you gave me no choice and even then I’d put up a hell of a fight.”
“I totally killed the mood this morning.”
“On the contrary,”—brushing my lips against his, I tug him toward the bathroom—“I think we could both use a little stress relief.”
“What do you have in mind?” A smile teases his lips as he wraps his arms around my neck and presses us together, his body hard against mine and his dick leaking from the friction.
Fuck, I like that.
“So many things…”
“Yeah?” It’s breathy and turns into a gasp when my palms cup his ass cheeks, kneading and spreading them as my feet hit the cold tile.
“Yeah.” Lowering my voice, I add, “Let’s see how many we can get through before the water turns cold.”
“Lead the way.”