3. Drew
Iwas trying to be a gentleman when I gave her a week, but my ability to hold myself back after two days has frayed. I”m itching to touch her porcelain skin. Hell, at this point, I’d take even a glimpse of her. Call me selfish, I don’t give a fuck. All I wanted to do was protect her, and like all the good things in my life, it backfired and exploded in my face. I’ve done everything I possibly can to try to fix this, but with every day that passes, the space between us grows, and I need her. I need her so badly it fucking hurts to breathe. It’s wrong, but I’d do anything to touch her, hold her in my arms, even if it would result in her pushing me away. I’m just that fuckin’ selfish.
I won”t apologize for being me or for trying to do the right thing. Not when she has no idea, not even from their brief encounter, what my father is capable of. I can’t lie to myself anymore. My life is in shambles, and like a sinking ship, everyone is jumping overboard. I’m the captain, though. I’m supposed to sink with the fucking ship.
Sebastian isn’t speaking to me. Lee is keeping his distance so he doesn”t feel like he”s taking anyone”s side, and I don”t even think Aries has a fucking clue what is happening. I will say he definitely feels the tension and notices Seb”s absence. Per usual, he likes to act as the fixer and keeps trying to get us into the same room to hash it out, but that’s been a complete failure so far.
I scrub my hands over my face, letting out a groan of frustration, then I stand and grab a T-shirt from the dresser. Today is the day. There won’t be any more hiding, Flower. I”m going to find you and pluck all your beautiful petals so you can never escape me… Whatever patience I had is gone now, and since my father has been out of town for a couple of days, this might be my only opportunity to capture her.
It will be a challenge since she”s not back at school yet, but I’m confident I can lure her out of Seb”s lockdown at home. Fuck me. I just need to see her. It”s fucked, completely fucked, especially after my father”s revelation, but I don”t care. I need to see her to ensure she”s okay. At least that”s what I tell myself. Things haven”t changed for me, despite all that has happened. Right now, all that matters to me is seeing her and telling her the truth. I have to make her believe me, to make her understand there was no other choice.
I finish dressing and press down on the edge of the bed, shoving my feet into my black boots. I lace them up tight, then grab my jacket and yank up the hood. I’ve been doing everything I can to keep a lower profile across campus. If I walk to the other side of campus to catch a ride app, then it”s less likely someone will report back to dear ole dad, and after the party, I’ve learned that I can’t trust anyone. So fuck people.
My phone vibrates in my pocket as I jog down the stairs, thankful no one is up yet. Before heading out the door, I grab a granola bar and premade protein shake from the fridge. I walk quickly down the long gravel driveway to the main campus. Halfway through my walk, I open my phone and check the messages, hoping against hope that Bel’s finally answered me with something other than “fuck off.”
I find no such thing. The campus is still pretty quiet, and as I walk, my gaze snags on the library building, but I quickly look away, the memories bubbling up even though I try to block them out. Those bookshelves, the scent of Bel’s fear turning me on…
Fuck. I’m fucked up. I don”t think I can fix this, not when my own biology is fighting against me here. It”s so messed up but I still want her. I still get unbelievably hard when I think about pressing her into those books. I can still feel her pussy clenching around me, tightening, swallowing every drop of cum, proving how much she needs me.
I can’t lie and say I haven’t stroked my cock to the image of her. In my eyes, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change a fucking thing. I’m sick, fucked up, demented. All I can ask myself is… is it because of my dad?
Does coveting Bel make me a sick and twisted monster like my father? It should. I’m obsessed, unhinged with the desire to fuck and own a woman who I’ve fallen for that might now be my goddamn sister. My stomach twists painfully, and I want to vomit, but I can’t ignore the hardness growing between my legs or the way my heartbeat speeds up.
I”m only a few minutes away from the spot where I”m supposed to meet my ride when my phone vibrates again. I”m two seconds from texting the bitch back to tell her off, but one look at the screen and I discover it’s a call from an unknown number.
I swallow hard, my heart in my throat, and hit the answer button, hoping, praying, needing it to be my wallflower.
”Mr. Marshall?”
I don”t recognize the voice at all, and my hackles are up. ”Yes? Who is this?”
”This is Gerald, a member of the nursing staff for your mother. We are unable to get in touch with your father, and we”ve had an emergency. Would it be possible for you to come and discuss the next steps with her care team at the estate?”
”Next steps?” What the fucking hell is going on?
My ride pulls up. I climb in and navigate from the call to change the address in the app. I usually walk around campus, and if I need to go to the estate, my father will send me a car. But maybe it’s time I bring one of the cars here to campus. It just seems stupid when I will rarely ever use it. The ride apps get me where I need easily enough.
We pull away, and I press the phone back to my ear. ”I”m on my way there now. Is she okay?”
I hope he can”t hear the naked fear in my voice, but I don”t have the strength to hide it right now.
”I think it’s best if you let the doctors discuss things with you, Mr. Marshall.”
Instantly, I know this is bad. I tap the driver on the shoulder. ”As fast as you can and I”ll give you a bigger tip.”
The middle-aged man driving nods and hits the accelerator, causing the car to lurch forward. My back flattens against the seat, and I struggle to catch my breath.
”I”ll be there in a few minutes,” I tell the guy and hang up.
The entire drive takes ten minutes tops, but it feels like an eternity with something so doomful hanging over my head.
The car hasn’t even stopped at the gate. The tires are still rolling, but I couldn’t give one shit. I jump from the car and rush through the partially open gate. My boots slap against the concrete, but I don’t slow.
I run the entire way up the drive and into the house. The house is nothing like Mill house, sprawling across way too much land for being inside the city limits. I barely see the staff or the rooms as I rush toward my mom”s suite. By the time I reach the room, a thin sheen of sweat has formed on my brow, and I’m sucking ragged breaths into my lungs.
I notice a man in a white coat standing in the middle of the room, and I stop short. What the fuck is going on?
”Where is her usual doctor?” I bark in the way of greeting.
The youngish white man with dark hair and glasses surveys me. ”He was unable to complete his employment. I apologize for any confusion. I was hired in his place until Mrs. Marshall can get a more permanent in-house physician.”
The doctor extends his hand. ”Dr. Banks. And you are?”
”Drew. Her son.”
He nods. ”It’s nice to meet you although I wish it were under better circumstances.”
I shake my head. There’s no need for pleasantries right now. I just need to know. ”What’s going on? What”s wrong?”
He places his hand on my shoulder, and I scowl but resist shrugging his hold off. “At the moment, your mother is stable, but some decisions will need to be made fairly soon. We are currently unable to get ahold of the elder Mr. Marshall. Your mother has you listed as the next of kin and power of attorney.”
That’s news to me, but I’m not going to question them. Especially when my father is probably off fucking his new mistress or something equally disturbing.
”What”s going on?” All I can think of are the worst possible things. “Please, just tell me. Is she dying?”
His mouth settles into a straight line, and he puts on one of those masks people adopt when they have to impart bad news. ”I’ll be frank with you, it”s not looking good. It seems her organs are beginning to shut down. From the testing we’ve done, she’s going to need at least a kidney transplant, if not more, and fairly soon, too. It’s best if a direct family member donates, as the viability of the body taking it without severe complications lessens greatly.”
The world spins all around me, and I want to punch my father in the face and rip the room apart. How could he let things get to this point? I eye my mother over his shoulder, staring at her unmoving body. I can’t help it. My body moves as if on command, my legs carrying me over to her bedside, forcing the doctor to follow with hurried, worried footsteps.
I don’t take my eyes off her. I let the image before me burn into my mind. Her eyes are closed, and she”s pale, so pale. Her once dark hair is now streaked with gray, the locks settling around her shoulders.
She looks so sick…
”Mom,” I whisper.
The doctor continues speaking like I haven”t moved or said a word. ”We also need to run some additional tests. I’ve combed through her medical records myself, and it looks like her previous doctor was a little lax when it came to running regular blood work. I don’t mean to make matters worse, but I feel this might have been caught much earlier if routine work was done.”
I nod and grip my mother’s hand gently. Her hand seems too small in mine, too fragile. The coldness of her skin presses against the warmth of my own, and anger and resentment bloom in my cheeks. How could Dad let her get to this point? I knew he hated me, and I knew he had fallen out of love with my mother, given his desire to sleep around all the time, but I never thought he’d let her fucking die on us.
”Do whatever you need to do, Doctor. Just keep her alive.”
He moves beside me, but I don”t take my eyes off my mother’s face. She”s been sick for so long now, I feel like I have more memories of her with this illness than I do of her without. Tears burn at the back of my eyes. I won’t cry. I can’t. I’m stronger than that. Crying doesn’t fix shit. It’s merely a weakness. I can hear my father’s voice in my mind, the words ingrained there. The past month has made me question every single thing I know.
But I don’t fucking cry. That much I do remember.
The questions stack up, but there are no answers. Are Bel and I really siblings? According to my father, we are. Then there’s the mysterious illness that both Bel’s mother and my mother have. None of this is a coincidence. There is no way. The problem is I have no idea or way of proving that the two incidents are related. Nothing other than a gut instinct.
I watch the doctor on the other side of the bed warily.
Did my father hire him to keep her sick? What about the previous doctor?
Can I trust this man? He seems to care far more than the previous doctor, who wouldn’t even pay attention to me whenever I asked a question. Still, I don’t trust any of them.
I need answers, but most importantly, I need to keep her with me so we can find out the truth together. She deserves to survive and see my father pay for what he”s done to me, her, and Bel. All of it.
My blood pumps with adrenaline and rage. I tug a chair over so I can be closer to her. ”Mom, can you hear me?”
I’m met with silence. I squeeze my eyes closed and try my best not to lose it. I rarely get to see her, and I won”t be able to stand it if I don”t even get to speak to her ever again.
”Mom?” The word comes out like a prayer.
The doctor clears his throat and fiddles with some tubes. ”I don’t mean to interrupt, but I need you to sign some forms for us to approve the tests. She’s been given a pretty hefty dose of painkillers and has been in and out of it since this morning. Don’t take it personally if she doesn’t react. It’s best for her to stay sedated so there’s less risk of stress to the body.”
”This seems pretty serious. Should I have her transferred to the hospital?”
He shakes his head. ”No, not yet. I can manage everything that has happened so far here at the house. The problem will be if her organs really start shutting down. At that point, we will rush her to the hospital. On the off chance that does happen, I have a release form that I’ll have you sign today, just in case.”
”Sure. Whatever you need.” I nod, focusing my attention back on my mom. ”Nothing matters to me more than her. Do whatever you need to do to keep her alive.”
“Money doesn’t matter. My job is to save lives. That’s what doctors do. I’ll do my very best to make sure your mom makes it through this.” His response is sincere, but I’m not sure if I can trust him or not. The fear lingers in the pit of my stomach.
He bustles around the bed again, and I focus on her sedate features, giving her hand a little squeeze. ”Mom?” All I want is for her to speak. Goddammit. I need one good thing to happen right now. Fuck. The floor threatens to give out on me, and I’m barely hanging on.
As if someone up there can hear my unspoken prayer, I watch as Mom’s eyes flutter and slowly open. She looks right at me, her blue eyes shining like sapphires. ”Drew? Is that you?”
I nod and lean down to kiss her cold, dry knuckles. ”Yeah. Hi, Mom.”
She tries to smile, but it”s more of a wince. ”Hi,” she breathes.
I swallow a hard lump in my throat. ”I have never been happier to see your face. I know things have been hard, and I’ve been gone a lot, but I want you to know that I’m here now. I”m not going anywhere until we get you feeling better.”
She shifts her hand to pat my cheek, which is still near her fingers. ”You have school and football. Don”t worry about me, sweetie. This is nothing but a hiccup in the road.”
I eye the doctor on the other side of the bed. He gives me a little shake of the head almost like he knows what I’m going to ask him. Why haven’t they told her what’s going on? If it were me, I’d want to know what the hell people were doing to me. My guess is the fear and her reaction, and what it might do to her body. Anything not to make it worse, right?
”Football is over Mom, and my classes are pretty flexible. I’m stubborn, you know that. The more you tell me not to worry, the more I’ll worry. All I want is for you to know I’m not going anywhere, okay?” I don”t add what I want to.
As long as my father isn”t here.
She tries to smile again, but her lips slip down as if she can’t gather the strength to smile, and then she sucks a shallow breath into her lungs. The doctor steps closer and checks her vitals on the monitor stationed at her bedside.
”Try to relax, Victoria. We don”t want your blood pressure to go up again.”
I’m so confused right now. Since when are the doctors on a first-name basis with her? I turn my gaze to him and watch him cautiously. Something is wrong here, but I can’t pinpoint it.
Her eyes drift shut, and I gently shake her hand. ”Mom?”
She doesn’t respond, and fear kicks me in the chest like a horse. ”Mom?”
My heart rate spikes, and I notice the blips on the monitors blink, and the beeping sound speeds up. The doctor jumps into action, lowering her bed to a flat position.
“Scarlett, come here.” Dr. Banks calls for one of the nurses.
I shove out of the chair and move out of their way while they rush around the bed, adjusting her body and grabbing a needle to inject something into her IV. Complete helplessness threatens to suffocate me. I can’t stand here and watch her die, but at the same time, I can’t do a single fucking thing to help her. I’m not a doctor. This is how Bel felt and probably still does. Like a compass with no sense of direction. Lost without a real meaning. I sink deeper into myself, watching with fear as they move around the room.
There’s shouting. “What the fuck are you doing? Call an ambulance for her!” Oh, it takes me a second to realize it’s me.
Then the damn doctor is in my face. “We can’t do that. Not yet. Please understand things are dire, and she should be in the care of a hospital, but I’m not authorized to approve that.” He stares at me meaningfully.
“Then fucking do it. I’m the power of attorney, right? Get her to the hospital!”
After a minute, the screeching of the monitors slows to a more steady beat. The doctor rushed around her bed to check her eyes, pulse, and stats again.
I”m vibrating with tension. Only the steady blip of her heartbeat on the monitor keeps me from splitting down the middle.
”What the hell is going on? What was that?” I pepper him with questions, wondering why this asshole hasn’t pulled his phone out to call the ambulance yet.
He skirts the bed to approach, slipping his pen light into his white coat pocket. ”I know I told you earlier that she’s been in and out of it since early this morning, but I believe something else is going on. I’ll need to run some more tests to be sure, but her sleepiness and fatigue are much more than a side effect of the meds.”
I wave at the bed. ”What does that mean?”
His frown deepens, and I can see the despair in his eyes.”She”s fallen into a coma, I believe. We need to get these tests done so we can see about helping her recover.” He waves me toward a side table. ”Let”s start with some blood work and go from there.”
I strip my jacket as I cross the room and throw myself down in the chair. “Take whatever you need. As long as you can save her life, I don’t give a fuck. I can’t lose her, Doctor. I can’t.”
“Let me draw this lab work, and I promise we’ll transport her to the hospital. It’s important that I do this first since it will help tailor our position once we get there.”
“Whatever, Doc. Just do it.
He hums a noise low in his throat and quickly grabs some supplies from a nearby set of drawers. I’m not sure how my blood can help, but I’d give up anything to ensure I don’t lose her.
“You’re her best chance for hope. You know that, right?”
I glance up at him. There’s something in his tone I can’t place through the adrenaline and the fear still coursing through me. All I can think is that I can’t lose her.
I can’t. If I lose her, there is no saying how far off the rails I’ll fall. There might not be anything good left for Bel. There might not be anything left for anyone.