12. Bel
Ican”t breathe through the searing heat of his stare, and the way it holds me in place. My knees barely support me as it is.
You are mine, and I don”t give up what”s mine. Not ever.
He just said those words, and they’re all I can hear in my head. Unbeknownst to him, they’re the most believable thing he’s ever said to me. I know I’m his. I know this because I wanted him. Hell, dare I say I loved him. I mean, part of me, most of me still does, but I’m not telling him that. He doesn’t deserve to have that kind of power in his hands.
“Good for you, but you’re wasting your time. I don’t want you, so unless you plan to force me into everything for the rest of your life, I’d choose otherwise.” The words taste bitter on my tongue as I expel them.
“Whatever you say, Flower.” His tone is nearly mocking, and I snarl at him when I see the smile on his lips.
I push away from him and his unforgiving grip and spin into the open air, the bottle of vodka my only remaining lifeline. If I plan to sober up, then I’ll need to stop drinking, but that’s not going to happen with this asshole in front of me.
I can feel his eyes on me. He’s watching me, ensuring I don’t get too far away. Forever the gatekeeper. That’s all he wants is to keep me so that no one else can have me. He doesn’t really want me.
”Stop looking at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“You know what.”
He shakes his head. “No, I really don’t. I’m just watching you. I didn’t know it was a crime to look at someone.”
“Watching someone is not what you’re doing. You’re stalking me. I’m not your prey.”
He doesn”t reply, tucking his hands into his jacket pockets before continuing to survey me. A cold breeze whips through the trees, and I bite my bottom lip to stop my teeth from chattering. ”Here, take my jacket.” He quickly strips his coat from his shoulders, leaving himself in a long-sleeved black Henley.
He doesn’t give me the opportunity to object, and instead gently places it over my shoulders. The smoky scent of him wafts from the warmth of the coat, and I want to hug it tight to my chest and just breathe him in. I should toss it on the ground and stomp it into the dirt, but my heart won’t let me.
Drew”s eyes track me as I pace around him. The trees are right here, and memories of the night I spent running through those woods come rushing back to me.
What am I doing here, drowning in Drew?
In our relationship, in our history? Why do I put myself through this?
He’s never going to give you up. He’s never going to stop wanting you.
I suck a ragged breath into my lungs, the cool air melting away a little bit more of the vodka hazing my mind.
I need to think about something else. Anything but us.
Whirling around, I face him and ask, ”How”s school?”
His forehead wrinkles with confusion, and he cocks his head to the side like he”s waiting for me to tell him a joke. ”What?”
”School. I stopped tutoring you. Are you passing your classes? Did you find another tutor?”
”Please tell me you’re kidding? Do you really care about that? And are we really going to discuss it here...and of all times, now?”
I snort and slip on the wet grass, catching myself on a nearby tree trunk. “If you want the truth, Mr. Marshall, no, I don”t really give a shit, but you refuse to let me leave, and I’d rather talk about something else.”
This makes him clench his jaw. ”We need to talk about us.”
I shake my head and circle the tree with my bottle of vodka. ”We’ve tried that a couple of times, and it failed. I think that ship has sailed.”
He steps toward me, and I keep the tree between us as protection.
“Like I already said, I don”t care. I’m not going anywhere.”
I turn my back to the tree and bring the bottle of vodka to my lips. I take a long swig, chasing the buzz I had earlier, praying it erases the memory of him. I need something to dull the ache in my chest before it swallows me whole.
Off in the distance, there’s shouting. We both glance in the direction, and Drew takes a step toward the noise, his eyes tracking dark shapes that appear on the lawn. My glasses are blurry, so I can”t quite make the shapes out completely.
Not that it matters. This is the exact distraction I need to get away. If I stand here another second, he’ll convince me to go inside with him, and I don’t know if I can survive another loss right now. The shouting continues, and I skirt around the tree, which is between us, and in Drew”s direct line of sight.
I count down from three in my head.
Three.
Two.
One.
I tighten my grip on the bottle and dart forward, ripping through the tree line and straight into the woods like a real-life Bambi. It”s not the same as that night since I”ve been through the woods before, but that same adrenaline rush fills my veins.
It can’t be but a few seconds later before I hear his heavy footfalls crashing through the forest floor behind me, destroying everything in their path. The tiny hairs on the back of my neck lift in warning, reminding me that Drew is a true predator and that if I run… he will chase me.
Maybe that’s what I want? What I need.
The thrill of being caught makes my blood hum and my core clench tightly. A smart girl would end this right here, right now, but I don’t want to end this.
My muscles burn and ache in protest as I up my pace.
Ahead, I narrowly miss a downed tree, and I catch myself on the trunk of another tree. I forget that one of my hands is occupied with a bottle of vodka, and only realize it after the glass shatters, the liquor spilling down my arm.
Ugh.I clutch the now broken bottleneck in my freezing hands, my subconscious telling me to keep it with me as I continue. My stomach churns around all that liquor, and I pray I don”t have to stop and puke.
Don’t find me, Drew.
Speaking of him. It doesn’t actually take him long to do. Drew’s conditioned for this game. Made to hunt the prey. To catch, skin, and eat. A true huntsman if I ever saw one. He’s on me in seconds.
His fingers brush against my hand, and I turn and swipe at him. A sharp hiss fills my ears. The sound reminds me of a soda can when you open it. There’s a warm spray of something against my hand, and I pause, confused for a half second.
What the hell? I consider stopping to see what it is that is on my hands, but I can’t. The need to keep going consumes me. Instead, I speed up, running faster, pushing my small legs harder, while he slows.
”What the fuck, Bel?” he shouts from somewhere behind me.
I can’t tell if he’s angry or concerned.
Then again, it doesn’t matter if he’s angry or concerned, right?
If he catches me, the result will be the same. With each of my senses on high alert, I find myself peering over my shoulder, my ears listening for any noise. The cold air pricks at my skin, and my lungs burn with every breath I take.
The hammering of my heartbeat is the only thing I can hear until Drew’s angry, almost bitter laughter rips through the trees. It’s venomous, evil sounding, and every cell in my body orders me to run and hide. The old me would’ve done just that, but I’m not scared of the monster hiding in the dark.
I urge myself forward, my muscles tightening and protesting as I force myself to keep going. Branches slap against my arms and midsection, slowing me down, and my feet slip on the wet ground. I can hear his feet trampling the ground behind me.
He’s close.
”If you wanted me to chase you, Flower, all you had to do was say so. I’m always up for hunting you down in the forest and making you beg for me to fuck you. I mean, I”m getting hard just reliving one of the best moments of my life. The day I got to claim you.”
Fuck, why doesn’t he sound winded?
Meanwhile, I feel like I’ve been running for hours. I slow so I don”t trip, and since he doesn”t immediately wrap his arm around me and take me to the ground, I assume he”s slowed as well. Shit. He”s definitely toying with me.
”Just.” Inhale. Exhale. ”Let.” Cough. Gasp. Cough. ”Me go.”
There”s a chuckle near a tree to my left.
I twist, looking in that direction, but he’s not there.
”Not a chance. We’ve been over this, and I understand more than anyone how stubborn and unruly you can be, so I guess I’ll have to do my best to show you. What do you think I should do? Bite you? Leave hickeys all over your neck? Take you in the dirt all over again?”
Damn him.
Even if I don’t want to be, I”m turned on.
The forest grows quiet, and I slow further. My gut instinct tells me to stop. I don”t trust it. It”s too quiet. There’s not even a stir of underbrush around me.
I stop running and suck air into my lungs like I’m dying. There”s a stitch in my side, and nausea sifts through me like sand in an hourglass. Up feels like down, and down feels like up. I can’t comprehend what’s going on, not until a pair of strong arms circle my waist and lift me off my feet in one move. I’m suspended in the air for half a second before I’m tossed over his shoulder.
A squeak escapes my lips, and I kick out my legs while clawing at him the best I can, the neck of the glass bottle still in my hand. ”Let me go!”
”Why would I do that? You ran, I chased, and caught you. Now I get to do whatever I want to you.”
A scream climbs out of my throat and pierces the air.
“Fuck, yes. Scream for me, Bel. You know how much I love it.”
Asshole.
“I’m not screaming for you, idiot. I’m screaming at you. Now, let me go.” I kick at him, and I could scream thanks to the lord when my foot connects with his knee. He grunts and tumbles to the ground, bringing me down with him.
We land all as one, and he rolls at the last minute to keep my body on top, caring enough not to crush me with his hulking frame. He’s first to recover. His rough hands circle my wrists, trapping me. I struggle against him even while knowing I won’t be able to break free.
I hate that my nipples are as hard as diamonds, and that I’m dripping with need, but I still fight against the desire. I can’t let him break me. Not again.
”I have no problem pinning you to the ground and fucking you senseless right now, so if you want to continue to fight, then that’s what’s going to happen. I’ve tried to be patient, but I’m past the point of no return. I don’t give a fuck anymore. I’ll be the bad guy if you need me to be. You can fight me, beg me to stop, tell me you don’t want it, but deep down, I know you do, and I know that while your pussy strangles my cock, begging for me to fill it with my cum, all you’re doing is lying to both of us.”
“Let me up,” I growl.
The pressure on my chest is suffocating. I can feel the bottle top tucked between my thumb and forefinger. The glass is sharp enough to cut my skin, and I tighten my hold on it.
He has to let me go, or I might lose my shit.
The feeling of him…
The taste of his lips…
His scent…
It’s all too much.
The hard planes of his body pressing against mine feel so good, too good.
“Please… just let me go.” I plead.
The pressure on my chest lifts when he shifts his weight off me. My traitorous body chooses to betray me, and the whisper of a whimper slips past my parted lips when my thighs brush the length of his erection.
He’s still holding on to me, though his grasp is lax now. In an instant, I can hear his voice in my head, the sinister words he spoke right before he crushed my heart in his hands.
I’ll find another tight cunt to keep my cock warm. That’s all you ever were to me anyway, a nice, warm hole to fuck.
“Come on, Bel. Are you going to let me in, or do I have to take it from you?”
There’s a coldness in his voice, but that’s not the effect it has on me. It warms me up all over, and I know the harder I fight, the harder he’ll fuck me.
More memories rip through me.
It’s time for you to leave. Now, you can take the trash out yourself, or I can take you out. You are nothing to me and never were. Nothing more than a warm hole to sink into every once in a while.
“I’ll fuck you into submission if I have to, so don’t tempt me because you know damn well I’ll do it.”
I stare at his grip, his grasp firm. Tightening. I’m burned by his touch.
He leans over me, his face hovering above mine. A shiver ripples through me at the sick, twisted look on his face.
“Please let me go!” I beg.
“No, but I do love it when you beg. I just wish you would save it for when my cock is inside you.”
The wires in my brain cross, and something inside me snaps. My vision goes black, and for one second, I’m no longer here, no longer held captive by my love for this toxic man. I break free of his hold and strike at him with the hand holding the broken glass shard. I recognize his pain-filled gasp a moment before I can comprehend what I’ve done.
Time slows down. There”s a break in the foggy rage clouding my judgment, and that gives way to shock. He releases me entirely, pushing up onto his knees.
I look at my trembling hands, seeing the blood on them.
What have I done? I scramble back, like a crab, trying to get away.
I cut him. I cut him.
I’ve never hurt anyone in my life, and now I’ve cut him. I’ve drawn his blood.
Look what he turns you into. An animal. A woman out for revenge.
Bile climbs up my throat. I’m both gripped by fear and guilt. I can’t breathe. My lungs burn as I try to force air inside them. The glass presses against my palm, the weight of it heavier now.
What have I done?
I scramble to my feet, my legs threatening to give out. He’s going to kill me. I need to run. Something dangerous and dark electrifies the air, making it hard for me to breathe.
I watch Drew climb to his feet, his movements slow, and I can’t stop looking into his eyes. Like a moth drawn to a flame, even while knowing the power the flame has over me, I continue to stare, mesmerized, frozen with fear.
Those green emeralds shine in the slivers of moonlight that make it through the trees, and what they reflect is something far scarier than anything I could’ve ever imagined—retribution.