11. Drew
Anger isn’t a big enough word to describe how I feel watching my woman kiss another man. It’s more like murderous fucking rage. The kind that makes me want to walk across the room, rip the fucker’s organs out of his body, and paint her skin with his blood. She’s doing her best to prove a point to me, but she has no fucking clue how close to the edge I am.
Oh, you have no idea what type of game you’re playing, Flower.
Even from a distance, I can see the flicker of lust and excitement glittering in her eyes. Bel is smart, and she knows exactly what she’s doing, antagonizing a different kind of beast. And watching her now, I can only assume that’s what she wants. She wants me to lose control, to feel the same pain she felt watching me with Spencer.
There’s only one fatal flaw in her plan. My beautiful, angry Flower doesn’t realize that no matter what she does, I’ll never leave her. She could cheat, she could sleep with another man, and while I’d burn down the world and kill the fucker with my bare hands while making her watch me do it as punishment, I wouldn’t ever let her go.
While I’m irritated this asshole has his hands on her, jealousy isn’t really fitting since she is mine and will always be mine. It’s obvious she doesn’t want him, at least to everyone but him. Hell, she didn”t even touch him until she spotted me across the room, which might be the only reason I’m letting this charade continue. I kinda want to see how far she’s willing to take it.
Clearly, Bel wants a game, and if anyone is willing to play, it’s me. I just don’t think she realizes who she’s playing against. I don’t play fair. I play to win, and I always fucking win.
My fists curl of their own accord as the desire to smash the guy in the face amplifies when he squeezes her ass cheeks in his hands.
She’s playing with fire, and it’s about to burn her.
”Wallflower,” I growl even though she can”t hear me.
Her sparkling green eyes remain locked on mine. The fucker fondling her doesn’t even realize the danger he’s in. That’s too bad, really because this charade is about to end. Rolling my shoulders, I stalk across the room, partygoers scurry out of my way, and when I reach the fucker, I grip him by the back of the neck, my fingers digging into his skin.
Pulling him backward, I peer down at him, recognizing him immediately as one of our new inductees. Mmm, this just got a lot more interesting. He flinches and then squeezes his eyes closed like a pussy when I whirl him around to face me.
Bel doesn’t move. Instead, she stares at me, her chin held high, a look of defiance plastered on her face. ”Drew.”
”Maybel,” I grit her name out through my teeth and then dismiss her, focusing all my attention back on the guy I’m holding hostage. I lean forward, getting right in his face. His panicked gaze darts between us. Poor guy has no idea the shitstorm he got himself into.
”She… she… she grabbed me before I could see who she was… Drew. I promise. I didn”t mean to kiss her. If I knew…”
His excuse is fucking laughable at best. Just like the guys who didn’t mean to cheat on their wives. What, did you slip and fall into her vagina?
I cock my head to the side. “On the off chance I actually believe you, which I don’t… But let’s say I did, for shits and giggles. Now, I think I can guess what you’re going to tell me next because guys like you always say the same shit…”
“I didn’t know, man…”
“You didn’t know you were grabbing her ass? Or you didn’t know who she was?”
”No,” he squeals like a pig. “I mean, yes. I knew I was grabbing her ass, but I didn’t know who she was. My eyes were closed the entire time.”
“Hmm.” I lean, still holding him by the nape. ”What”s your name?”
He gulps. ”Harvey.”
I nod conspiratorially. ”Harvey. Tell me, did she taste good to you? Did kissing her get your dick hard, Harvey?” I bite off his name.
“Drew.” Bel looms, her voice taking a softer tone now.
I already know what she’s up to, and if she thinks she’ll be able to stop me from following through on tormenting this fucker for touching her, then she’s going to be really fucking disappointed. I glance her way for half a second. “No, don’t Drew me. You wanted to play, and now we’re playing. See what happens when you push me? See what happens when you taunt the beast?”
Her shoulders slump, and she sighs heavily, then takes a long swig of her vodka. ”It wasn”t his fault. I just grabbed him and kissed him. It’s not like he asked to kiss me.”
”Yeah, but he didn’t stop either. No one puts their lips on you. No one touches you. No one fucking breathes near you, or I will kill them. But before I kill them, I will eviscerate them so they understand how grave of a fucking mistake they’ve made...”
Harvey’s body trembles in my grasp, and he slowly lowers his hands to his sides, his eyes wide and filled with fear. I move closer, invading whatever limited space is left, watching his pupils as they dilate further, his heartbeat picking up another beat.
My gaze is on Bel, though. This is all for her. ”Tell me, fuckface, what should your punishment be for touching something that isn’t yours?”
I feel his heavy gulp under my grasp, and he shakes his head.
”I”m sorry… I’m so sorry… I swear…”
“Not as sorry as you’re going to be soon.”
The kitchen has cleared out. Some partygoers stand nearby watching the byplay. Others have just moved on to enjoy the beat elsewhere. Music bumps with a heavy bass through the house almost in time with my steadily increasing heartbeat.
I grasp his left hand in my free one, the other still tight around the back of his neck as I curl my grip around his middle finger and twist. The distinct sound of bone crunching is music to my ears. The little pussy screams and drops to his knees. I let him go and crouch down in front of him. “We aren’t done here, Harvey. Give me your hand.”
He whimpers, and I glance back at Bel, who is standing near my shoulder. Her hand is plastered over her mouth, and she has fresh tears swimming in her eyes. When she sees me looking, she looks away, her gaze focusing on something else.
I stand and snap, “Consequences. This is what happens, Bel. This is what you make me do when you refuse to listen. Now pay attention because next time you let a man touch you, I won’t stop at broken bones, baby.”
She jerks her chin back to Harvey and me, and I direct my attention back to the poor fool again. I drop down to my haunches again and extend my hand out to him, waiting to see if I’ll have to force him or if he’ll be a good boy and listen to me. When he places his trembling hand in mine, I feel the sudden rush of accomplishment. I smirk back at Bel. Tears still coat her eyes but not a single tear has fallen. Her mouth is set into a thin line as if she’s riding the edge of anger. Good. Me fucking too.
No. That’s wrong. I’m free-falling into my anger now, and no one better get in my way.
I pat Harvey on the cheek gently, and he flinches away from me. Smart.
“Since you gave me your hand, I’ll go easy on you.” I snap another finger, then grab his chin and put my face directly in his. “I won’t kill you for touching what’s mine. And you know what? I won’t kick you out of The Mill either, at least not yet.”
I breathe in the sharp scent of his sweat and fear. This is where I thrive, where chaos and my demons can come out to play together. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Bel getting ready to make a run for it. Extending my arm out, I grasp her bicep, halting her midstep. There’s no way in hell I’m letting her walk away from this. If she doesn”t want to suffer the consequences, then maybe she shouldn’t have provoked me.
I grin at her. ”No, Flower, you don”t get to start something and not finish it. Not when his punishment is all your fault. Your act of defiance will mean a world of hurt for little Harvey here.”
The man looks like he’s going to vomit, his eyes silently pleading for me to release him as they ping-pong between Bel and myself. I know I have to choose to let go of one of them.
I can’t continue to teach this fucker a lesson without releasing Bel, but if I release her, she’s going to run. Still, if I let this fucker go, he might tell his friends what happened, and I can’t have anyone thinking I’m weak.
”Drew.” Bel leans in, clearly understanding the dark direction this is going in. She clutches the bottle of vodka in her other hand. ”Leave him be, and come with me. Let’s go for a walk.”
I snort. “Do you think I”m an idiot? All you want is to get my attention off this fucker. I’m not stupid.”
Realizing her words are not enough, her small hand trails up my chest, and it takes everything in me not to lean in, sink into these feelings, and let them be more. Not when she”s only touching me to protect this asshole.
It makes me more inclined to rip his head off and shit down his throat.
A hard slap lands against my back, the impact vibrating through my muscles, and out of the corner of my eye, I catch a flash of curls and wide-ass shoulders belonging to one of my friends. Aries. Always the peacemaker. He leans in, smiling.
”Come on, man. Go talk to your girl. I”ll take care of this asshole for you.”
It”s a ruse.I know it. He knows it. Even Harvey knows it. He”ll toss him out on his ass and let him run, but he won”t be punished as much as I want. It’s a battle of choosing what I want more—to talk with Bel and make her understand there is no other option but me or to beat this asshole ten feet into the ground.
I glance down at Bel, and even as her voice has softened and her touch burns across my skin, she”s still wearing that defiant-as-fuck look, daring me to walk away and let it go. That’s fine, though. Harvey’s punishment can be given to her instead. I shift my hand to Harvey”s face and give him a shove. Stumbling backward, he nearly trips over his own feet. As soon as he realizes he’s free, he scurries out of the room without looking back.
Coward. Logically, I know he didn’t do anything wrong. It”s more about looking weak and teaching Bel a lesson.
Aries gives us his signature grin, all pearly white teeth, then snags a bottle of alcohol off the counter and follows him.
Alone, or as close to alone as we’re going to get, I tug Bel closer. ”You should be happy. I let him go for you.”
Those defiant eyes shine, tipping me over the fucking edge. I’m done.
With my patience slipping, I tighten my grip and tug her toward the back door. She barely resists, stumbling over her feet a little too easily along the way.
I’m not sure how much she drank before I arrived, but it’s obvious it was enough to make her think she could get away with this ludicrous shit. I push the back door open and pull her outside behind me. The cold night air greets us, and the refreshing feel of it on my skin helps to clear away some of the anger clouding my thoughts.
I only stop once we reach the tree line of the woods, putting us far enough away from the house that I can finally hear myself think. There’s no one but us and the quietness now. Turning on her, I take her by both arms and gently press her back against one of the towering oak trees. I force myself to be gentle when what I really want is to take her over my knee and spank her ass until it’s cherry red.
The second her back meets the trunk, Maybel charges at me. Only my football training and reflexes, grown at the hands of my father’s abuse, allow me to catch her wrists before she makes contact with my neck or face.
”Let go of me,” she screeches, and I tighten my grasp. The hand bared in claws relaxes, but the other, with the bottle clutched tight, still holds on.
All I can think then is… What happened to my flower?
My subconscious takes a second to remind me.
You smashed her into a million fucking pieces.
”If you stop trying to attack me, then I can let you go, but if you’re going to continue being crazy, I’ll have to restrain you for both our safety.”
Eyes narrowed to slits, she moves closer, her chest pressing into mine. I think she”s relaxing, and my own grip goes lax as I prepare to release her, but it’s a mistake on my part because all it does is give her room to pull her hand back, giving her the momentum she needs to slap me. My head swings to the sides from the impact.
I grit my teeth and recover quickly, anger seeping into my veins. With lightning-fast reflexes, I wrap my hand around the column of her throat and give it a little squeeze, becoming mesmerized by the fear that slips into her eyes. I crave her fear, her submission. I get off controlling her every breath, and I know it’s fucked up and wrong, but I don’t care.
”I know I hurt you. I fucking get it, but don”t fucking hit me. That’s your warning, Bel. Do it again, and I’ll put you on your knees.”
I release her before I do something crazy, like strangle her until she passes out. Maybe if I kidnap her and trap her somewhere, I can seduce her with enough orgasms to forgive me?
Or piss Sebastian off enough to kill me.
The fear trickles away from Bel, and she’s glaring at me again. I take a step back, hoping some distance might cool her off, but she charges forward again, her hand back ready to land another hit. The thing is, I’m sober, faster, and I’ve been beat the majority of my life.
She’s lost the battle before she’s even tried. I sidestep her hit, and she misses me, and her hand flies through the air, making a swishing sound. The sting in my cheek reminds me of the first strike she got on me, and when she tries a third time and misses again, I can’t help but wonder how she thinks this will fix things.
”What are you doing, Maybel? Is this going to help you? Will hurting me fix us?”
I’m close to making good on my promise of putting her on her knees, but I hesitate, wanting to give her a chance. She huffs and takes a long swig of her vodka, which she has somehow managed to keep in her hands, her body remaining upright. Swallowing it down, she continues to glare, her warm breath billowing out in little clouds of smoke.
”I can’t believe you would ask me such a stupid question. One measly slap is not going to make up for all the pain you caused me.”
It”s my turn to huff out a hot exhale. ”Okay, and you think kissing another man will help?”
There”s something in her eyes now, something closer to guilt, but not quite.
I shake my head. ”This is revenge. You want to hurt me so I’ll know exactly what it felt like that night you had to see me with Spencer.” I lick my lips and cross the space between us, using my body to crowd her all over again. ”Did it make you feel better?”
She squeezes her lips shut and simply glares icy daggers at me.
”Truthfully, you don’t have to speak. I can see it in your eyes right now. You want me to hurt. You could give a shit about that guy. No, this was a selfish act. Wasn’t it? Am I right? Tell me, Bel. Tell me I’m right. Tell me that you thought if you hurt me the same way I hurt you, your pain would be less. Tell me.”
”No,” she growls, still gritting her teeth. ”I knew it wouldn’t be less, but it would make me feel better for a little fucking while. And if anyone deserves to feel better, it’s me. Boo-hoo, so what if you had to watch me kiss another guy, and yeah, he groped me a little bit, but nothing you went through tonight will ever amount to what I felt and went through. You”re not the one who had to have stitches in your scalp, and I don’t recall anyone that cared about you calling you a whore and throwing dollar bills at you.”
“No amount of apologizing will change what happened. I can’t undo the past, Bel. All I can do is try to do better, and you’re making it increasingly difficult.”
“Good!” she sneers. “I don’t want you to do better. I want you to leave me alone and realize you can’t win me back no matter how hard you try.”
I grab her by the wrist, bringing us closer together. My eyes scan her face, the dilation of her pupils, the way her pulse thrums in the side of her neck, and the sharp intake of breath she takes when I get up close. Leaning in close enough that our lips are almost touching, I speak, “I don’t have to win you back, Flower. You’ve always been mine. I’d just prefer your forgiveness over anger, but in the end, I’ll take you however I can get you.”
“I hate you!” she seethes, her nostrils flaring.
“You don’t, but you wish you did, because if you hated me then all of this would be so much easier. If you could blame me, if I was the monster you portray me to be, if you really fucking believed the things you tell yourself about me, then this would be done with.” She won’t admit it, but she knows I’m right.
“Get away from me!” she hisses, struggling in my grasp.
The more she fights me, the harder my cock gets. If she needs to pretend that she hates me, fine. I’ll let her have that. By now, she should’ve realized that she’s mine to hurt, fuck, and completely and utterly destroy.
Doing the opposite of what she wants, I tighten my hold on her and walk her backward, trapping her against the tree once again.
I mold my body against hers, pressing all my hard edges to her soft ones. Fuck, it feels so good. The tiniest whimper escapes her lips, and my eyes dart to her pretty mouth. Those full lips of hers, begging to be bit and kissed.
“Let go of me! I don’t want you. We’re over!” she screams.
Her words say one thing, but her body says something else entirely. I can feel her pressing back against me, silently begging me for more. Her body says what she never will, at least not right now. I drag my eyes away from her lips and press my forehead against hers, breathing her in, letting her breathe me in.
A war wages in her green eyes. She wants to push me away, but she also wants to give in. At some point, I’ll make the decision for her, but for a little while longer, I’ll play her game.
“We’re never done, Bel. We weren’t done that night at the banquet, and we aren’t done now. I don’t give a fuck what it takes to make you see that. I will stop at nothing. I will come to your house every single fucking day. I will crawl across the fucking floor on my hands and knees and beg you. I know you’re hurting, and I’m sorry. There won’t ever be enough words to explain that to you, and I accept that. I accept that I fucked up, even if I thought what I was doing was the right thing. But I want to move forward. I have to, and there’s only one way to do that.”
“You’re forgetting the most fundamental part of all. The opinion of the person who matters most: me.”
“I didn’t forget you.”
“You did. You haven’t asked me what I wanted in all of this. You think that an apology automatically fixes things like a magic wand simply because you know how to put on the charm, and abracadabra, everything is fixed.”
I snarl and tighten my hold. “I’m not expecting it to be fixed.”
Lifting her arm, she cuts off my grip, then gives my chest a hard shove back. I barely move, but I let her think she has control.
“It was clear to me that day in the library when we first met that you weren’t used to being told no, but I will say it until you understand. I don’t want you, Drew. There is no forgiveness to be given. The sooner you realize that, the sooner all of this can end, and we can move on with our lives.”
It hurts to hear her say those words, but they change nothing. She is still mine.
”Like it or not, I will never let you go. Like I said before, I’d prefer you be mine willingly, but I will take you however I can get you. Do your worst, Flower. Hit me. Hurt me. Fuck other men. I don”t give a shit what you do, but that fact will never change. You are mine, and I don”t give up what”s mine. Not ever.”