15. Drew
Isn’t it weird how our plans don’t always work out? How fate sometimes has something else planned for us. I didn’t intend on hunting her in the woods, nor did I plan on fucking her ass, but here we are. The presence of pain flares in the back of my mind as soon as I ease my cock from the tight confines of her ass. I revel in the way my cum leaks from her puckered asshole. Fuck, so tight and perfect. I don’t regret a fucking thing.
As gently as possible, I pull the skirt over her bare ass cheeks and lift her, taking her into my arms bridal style. Doing so causes the cuts on my forearm to split and bleed more, but I don’t care.
It takes a minute to maneuver her into a comfortable position, and then I stand, surveying the woods. I know every inch of this property. I grew up on it and have walked on it way too many times. There’s no such thing as getting lost out here, at least for me.
”I can walk.” Bel interjects as I start moving.
I pretend as if I didn’t hear her and instead tighten my grip on her body. I’m aware of what she can and can’t do, but it’s more of what I’m willing to let her do on her own.
As I walk, the weight of my actions presses down on me. I don’t necessarily feel bad for taking her as I did. She enjoyed it, and I know she did, but I do feel like an asshole for doing so while trying to get back into her good graces.
I keep my pace slow. After all that running, I don’t have it in me to jog the entire way back to the house. Plus, the cold night air feels good against my skin. As we near the house, I peer down at her only to catch her staring up at me. There’s this soft look in her eyes, and it reminds me of how she used to look at me before I destroyed everything.
”Are you okay?”
She hums against my shirt, hugging my jacket tight around her. ”I’m fine. Why?”
“Don’t act like that.” I shake my head.
“Act like what?”
“Act like I don’t give a shit about you. Like I don’t want to make sure you aren’t hurt. From the very first time I took you in the woods, I made certain you weren’t injured. I’m a monster, but I’m not about to risk losing the one thing I want more than anything else.”
“If you must know…I’m fine. A little sore, but that’s to be expected when someone takes your ass for the first time, right?” The sarcasm rolls off her tongue easily, and I hide my smile as I turn my head to the side.
The lights from the house cut through the trees ahead, and it doesn”t take me long to reach the sloping lawn that leads down to the house. It”s still lit up from the party, and the place glows with life.
A whole lot of life that I don”t want seeing us, but definitely not Bel. I head to the back of the house and slip inside the back door, then hop up the steps and take the back stairs to the second floor. Thankfully, there aren’t any partygoers on the second floor.
When we make it inside the bedroom, I slam the door shut behind us and click the lock into place, then carry Bel over to the bed and set her down on the edge of it.
She sits up, her gaze swinging around the room in marvel. I remember then that she”s never seen my bedroom before today.
How many times have I taken her in hers, and she hasn”t seen mine?
The longer I stare at her, the more I notice her curious gaze sweeping the room. I smile and cross the room, heading into the bathroom.
In the shower, I turn the handles and let the water run, getting the room all steamed up. I strip out of my shirt and glimpse myself in the mirror.
Fuck, Flower got me good. The cut on my chest is deep, as is the one on my arm. They hurt and bleed like a bitch, but I can’t find it in my heart to be mad at her. These wounds are artificial compared to those that I gave her.
I lean against the doorjamb of the bathroom and watch her sneaking a peek at the bookshelves across the room. Her dainty fingers dance against the spine of each title as if she’s trying to figure out which one she will select.
Of course my little wallflower would go straight to the books.
I smile like the fucker I am, feeling lucky to have her back in my arms, even if it’s temporary. I wish I could hold her at this moment forever, watching her sneak around this room, my room, our room.
This is my future, our future.
”Come here, Bel. Let me get you out of those clothes and clean you up.”
She startles at my voice and shifts away from the shelf, jerking her hand back as if the books will bite her.
”Don’t worry about…” She never finishes what she’s saying, and part of me thinks that’s because she notices me standing there, every inch of my well-defined eight-pack on display. I mean, I could be wrong, but I don’t think so.
Slowly, she blinks back to the present, realizing that she was in fact staring at me. “I don’t need you to clean me up.”
Fuck. Disappointment punches me in the gut. I don’t want to beg her to stay, but I need her to stay with me. In my space, her sweet scent surrounds me, her presence warming the icy parts of my heart that have never been touched by the sun.
I know I’m changing, even if it’s slowly. I’ve never shared this place with another woman. Then again, I’ve never had anyone like Bel in my life.
”Come here, please.”
A look of defiance touches her face, and she crosses her arms over her chest. ”Or what? You”ll make me?”
”Don’t act like you wouldn’t like that. Now if that’s how I have to do it, then I will, but I’d prefer if you came to me on your own.”
Standing as still as a statue, she stares at me, probably thinking she’s won, but she doesn’t know I see right through her. Beneath the defiant image she paints is a wavering desire for my touch. I can see it in the way her body leans toward me, craving my touch and warmth. She wants to give in, even if she doesn’t want to admit it to herself or me.
And that’s the kicker: sometimes admitting that you want something when you feel like it’s bad for you is the hardest thing to do.
”When have you ever given a shit about me?”
”Bel, I know you want to hurt me, but do not hurt yourself in an attempt to hurt me. There is never a time when I have not taken care of you. I always make sure you’re satisfied, and I saved you from a rapist. Hell, I paid in flesh and blood to keep you safe from my father.”
With a grimace, her gaze moves to the floor, and I wonder if that’s a little guilt that I see on her face. ”Thanks for the offer, but I should go home.”
I gesture to my chest. ”Fine, but do you think you could at least give me a hand with these before you go?”
She looks up from her shoes and scans the cuts on my arms and chest. Battling against herself, she takes a step forward but then pauses. Dammit. I can’t let her slip through my fingers. I can’t.
“Please…” I add even though the word is foreign and bitter on my tongue.
“Please? When did you learn that word?”
“Oh, this beautiful, sassy, vengeful girl told me I should use it more often. I’m trying to, but I’ll be honest, it tastes a lot like weakness. I prefer to make people do things rather than ask, and especially not nicely. Please doesn’t really make my messages come across as threatening.”
“I should let you bleed out.”
“You should.”
Her eyes narrow. “I hate you.”
“You say that, but I don’t think you really hate me. You hate that I hurt you, but more than that, you hate that even after everything, you still want me, want us.”
“I’m not talking about us. There is no us.”
“Sure.” I agree, just to move on.
She can think whatever she wants, but that doesn’t mean it’s true. Sometimes the illusion is all the other person needs. The illusion of freedom, of being in control. Bel will always be free, but never of me.
“So do you still want me to help or what?” she questions, annoyance lacing her tone.
“I thought you were going to let me bleed out?” I cock a brow at her.
She rolls her pretty eyes. “I should, but even Sebastian would be upset about that, I think.”
I step out of her way and gesture for her to enter the bathroom. Once in the bathroom, she abandons the coat and walks to the double sink to wash her hands. ”I wouldn”t have thought this place would be so clean.”
Her judgment causes me to chuckle. ”Yeah, well, my housekeeper is pretty good at her job. How else would a group of twenty something year old men survive?”
This earns me a smile, and it”s like watching the sunrise for the first time. I can”t help but smile back. The moment she notices, though, it all crumbles to pieces, and the rays of sunshine disappear, leaving me in complete darkness.
I grab some of the first aid stuff from under the bathroom sink and arrange them on the counter. Alcohol. Bandages. Medical-grade glue. When you get your ass kicked regularly, some of these things become a part of your daily life.
She eyes them each individually and then drags her gaze back to me.”We should probably get you cleaned up first.”
Dirt and leaves cling to my jeans, and sticky blood coats my skin. ”Good idea.”
I pop the button on my jeans and grin as she skitters back, bumping into the counter. Like I wasn’t just in her ass, fucking her until she saw stars. In seconds, I’m naked, and her eyes are on my blood-coated cock.
“If I’m cleaning up, then you should too. The water is nice and hot, and the shower is big enough for ten people.”
I can see her mentally weighing her options, her pearly white teeth sinking into her bottom lip. Maybe realizing how unreasonable she’s being to allow me to fuck her but not shower with her, she starts stripping out of her clothing. If she wants to keep distance between us, I’m going to keep knocking down those walls one by one until she can face the truth. That I want her and she will be mine.
I watch as she strips because I’m no gentleman, and I continue watching even when she cocks an eyebrow at me, challenging me.
Once we’re both naked, I reach for her and ease the elastic from her hair and fluff out the strands, taking my time to feel the heft of her hair and memorize the scent of shampoo wafting off her mane.
Then I pluck her glasses off her face and set them on the counter.
“This means nothing,” she murmurs.
I pick her up and carry her into the shower, stopping right under the hot spray. Her tiny body shudders in my arms as she adjusts to the water, and I slowly lower her to her feet.
”How is that?”
She nods, shoving the water off her face. ”It”s good. Thank you.”
When she reaches for the shampoo, I bat her hand away gently and lather her up myself. She gives me a little smile, and only when she”s clean do I let her do the same for me. It”s a revelation...caring for someone else. She treats me just as tenderly as I treat her, carefully cleaning around each of my wounds. There’s nothing sexual about it, more sensual and emotional, but it’s the first time I’ve experienced it, and I want to do it again and again. Once we’re all rinsed and clean, we exit the shower, and I gently dry her skin until she”s warm and cozy.
Then comes the part I’m a semi-professional at: gluing and bandaging myself up. Bel helps by handing me each item and helping me clean up and toss all the wrappers out. Then I carry her over to the bed, hit the remote for the lights and fireplace, and climb up onto the mattress. I circle her waist with my arm, tucking her into my chest. Facing me, she stares up at me, a mixture of satisfaction and wariness in her eyes. “I guess I’m an idiot tonight because I’m too tired to hate you right now.”
Gently, I stroke her hair, the music from the party downstairs a low hum that becomes background noise. I stare into her sparkling green eyes, my chest tight, and I’m overcome with emotions that I’ve never felt before. I can’t lose Bel. I can’t. I won’t let my dad take anything else from me. I brush a piece of wet hair off her temple. ”You”re so beautiful, Maybel.”
She gulps and shakes her head. ”So are you.”
A tear slips from the corner of her eye, and I catch it, flicking it away. ”What”s wrong?”
She sniffles. ”Nothing. I”m fine. Just overwhelmed with everything, I guess.”
Another tear falls, and I pull her closer, resting my forehead against hers. ”It”s okay. I promise I will never hurt you again. If anyone else dares to try, I”ll be there to rip their hearts from their bodies. I don’t expect you to trust me today, or even tomorrow, but eventually, you’ll know that I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.”
She releases a heavy sigh. ”I”m scared.”
I nod and tug her by the waist so her body lines up with mine. It”s fucking decadent to feel all her bare skin against mine. I had no idea how much I craved it until this moment. It feels so fucking good. And I realize it”s not sexual. It”s an intimate connection I’ve never experienced before.
”Bel,” I whisper and kiss her lips tenderly, wanting to tell her all the things.
”I know,” she whispers in reply.
I nod and continue staring at her, waiting until her eyelids drift closed before I dare close my own eyes. All the while thinking I have a promise to keep now. And the only way I can keep that promise is to get rid of my father… and soon.