26. Bel
Ihate to admit it, but I expected more guns and fighting than this. Not that this is bad, but I didn’t anticipate a bunch of old men sitting around talking while their wives or mistresses drink themselves into a stupor. Maybe that”s the key to getting through these events. Drink until you fall asleep.
I guess, boring or not, I”m here to support Sebastian.
I cradle the glass of wine to my chest and smile at the older woman sitting in front of me. She waves animatedly, telling me a story about a ski trip she just took with her cousin, who I strongly believe is definitely her boyfriend and not her cousin.
At least, by the way she talks about him. I listen just enough to nod and answer any questions she might toss my way, but I’m not involved in the depth of it.
I’m distracted from the conversation when the soft ringing of a bell fills the space. I glance around the room to see where it’s coming from. The lady in front of me claps her hands excitedly, drawing my attention back to her.
”Oh, finally, dinner. The best part. At least after dinner, we’re closer to being done. I abhor these social gatherings, really.”
I give her a nod, not really sure what to say since this is my first one, and maybe my last. Everyone meanders into the dining room, their chatter following them.
My eyes fall onto the massive table set for more people than I care to count. Deep breath. It’s just dinner. What could possibly go wrong? I take one step forward and find Sebastian by my side. His presence calms me and reminds me that I’m not in this alone. He gives me a slight smile, the best I’m going to get, I suppose, for the night and guides me to our seats. I look at the head of the table and spot Drew sitting right next to his father.
I shudder, glancing away so I don”t catch his father”s eye. The memory of that night is always there, lingering beneath the surface, threatening to make an appearance.
”Everything okay?” Seb asks, leaning close.
I nod and sigh, pasting on a smile. This is what I have to do. To be pretty, to be a distraction. There is no time for me to have a mental breakdown.
”Yeah, I’m fine. Just feeling a little overwhelmed. Do you know all of these people?”
He takes a sip of water and then leans back in his seat, surveying the room. ”Know them? No. Know of them, mostly. Everyone knows the big players in the game.”
”And we are...a big player?”
His dark gaze casts back on me, and when he smiles, I feel less like prey that’s about to be eaten. ”Short answer: yes. Grandfather would accept nothing less. I’ve been trained and prepared for this job since I was a little boy.”
“Is this what you want to do? Like if you had a choice, would you run the family business, or would you choose to do something else?” I’m not sure why I ask that question right then, but I feel compelled to know if this is what he really wants to do with his life or if it’s a sacrificial duty.
He shrugs. “I don’t think there was ever going to be a choice. When you’re born into this world, the choice is made for you. If I didn’t choose this path, I’m not sure I’d know what else to do. Nothing else seems to hold my attention.”
I nod and find my eyes gravitating to Drew. Sebastian’s response reminds me again that Drew doesn’t always get a choice in the matter. There’s always someone bigger pulling the strings, ensuring he follows directions or suffers the consequences.
It’s hard to be angry with him when I know these things. Yeah, what he said about me not belonging here hurt, but it wasn’t a lie. I don’t belong here in a room full of criminals. This place isn’t me. But that didn’t mean he had to point it out so rudely.
I look away but find myself looking back toward him every couple of minutes. Even in a room full of people, I can’t seem to stop being distracted by his presence. Thankfully, the staff start to arrive with food. Salad first, then soup, then the main entrée.
I poke at my salad, take a couple of bites, and offer Sebastian my soup. He shakes his head, declining it. The staff make quick work of the dishes, and I feel a pang of guilt watching them carry so many plates and silverware.
By the time the main entrée arrives, I’m ready to climb out the window. The pristine china is placed directly in front of me, and I stare down at the contents. It’s some kind of roasted chicken with a mushroom sauce drizzled over top.
“Why are you looking at it like it’s still alive?” Seb asks before shoving a cut piece of chicken into his mouth.
“I’m not.” I lie.
“You are.” He chuckles. “Just try it. It’s actually delicious. I mean, it’s not your burgers and french fries good, but it’s still good.”
I smile back at him, and with more hesitation than necessary, I cut into the chicken, spearing a piece on my fork. Like a toddler refusing to eat their vegetables, I cringe, then shove the fork past my lips and into my mouth.
I’m pleasantly surprised by the explosion of flavor that fills my mouth.
“Good, huh?” Seb notices the way my face lights up, and I nod, taking another bite. I’m nearly done with the entire dish before I realize it. When one of the waitstaff circles back to grab plates, I order another glass of wine.
While I wait, I reflect on what happened near the bathroom. It shocked me when Seb stepped in like he did. If he had given me the chance, I would have handled that asshole myself. Now, there”s more tension than necessary, and I”m on people”s radars in a bad way. I don”t want to be the liability here, and I don”t want to be seen as a weakness for Seb. I feel like by him stepping in, he”s set me up as a weakness to exploit, and I can’t help but wonder if others in this room see me the same way.
I know it wasn’t meant to be a kick at my ego, but this is my first chance to show I’m a strong leader beside Sebastian.
”Oh, darling, the dessert is divine,” Stella gushes.
I glance down and realize my dinner plate has been replaced with a dainty slice of turtle cheesecake, and the glass of wine I asked for sits beside it. Well, shit. Was I that disassociated? I didn’t witness them bringing dessert.
I shrug and dig into the cheesecake, eating every last morsel. When the dessert is cleared, the conversations grow louder. Many appear to grow restless and choose to stand or walk around the room.
A man with piercing eyes approaches, and Seb steps closer to me. Like the rest of the men here, he’s in a tuxedo with his dark hair slicked back. He smiles at Sebastian first and extends his hand. “Mr. Arturo? I’m Henry Salem. I knew your grandfather, but I don’t think we’ve ever met.”
Sebastian shakes his hand, his gaze suspicious and heavy. “Mr. Salem.”
The man’s eyes shift to me, and he leans over to grasp my hand and kiss my knuckles. “And who is this beautiful young woman?”
Sebastian, still suspicious, says, “My sister, Maybel Jacobs.”
We hadn’t discussed yet if I would use his last name, but it didn’t feel right to give up this tiny part of Mom I have left to me.
The man nods once, smiles, and smooths his jacket. “It’s a pleasure to meet you both. Perhaps I’ll be seeing more of you.”
The fact that he spoke to Sebastian the entire time isn’t lost on me, so I cut in. “You will. I plan to help my brother in every aspect of the business. I do have a family name to uphold.”
He nods again and tips an imaginary hat, then walks away.
“Are you okay to sit for a bit by yourself? I have some business to attend to,” Sebastian whispers into my ear, his eyes still on the stranger’s back as he retreats.
I nod. “Yeah. I was just going to walk around a little bit. I’m feeling restless.”
“Okay, don’t go too far,” he warns and then buttons his jacket, stalking off toward the bar.
I walk in the opposite direction, surveying the room. It’s beautiful. Silk curtains frame small balconies, and double doors lead to a garden that rests at the bottom of the stairs, going all the way to the driveway out front. It’s a shame such a horrible man gets to look at something so beautiful every day.
I look away from the garden, my eyes catching on the sparkling chandeliers and the glittering gowns. My anxiety ramps up, reminding me of that night my entire world changed. Turning on my heels, I choose to make a beeline for the bar, but I don’t even take one step before I feel his presence beside mine.
”Avoiding me, Wallflower, or just trying to live up to your name?”
I turn, scanning his devilish face, thankful that he seems calmer now. I look down at his knuckles. They’re busted and bruised again. I’m both sad and angry at the reality.
I didn’t need him to stand up for me, even if it was nice. Now he’s hurt himself again, and for what? I don’t want to draw attention to him, and I don’t want to look weak for Sebastian. There’s a fine line we must walk here.
”Why is it when I’m trying to avoid you so that we don’t draw attention, you choose to do the opposite?”
He gives me a lopsided grin. ”Guess I’m just a rule breaker.”
I roll my eyes but can’t help but smile. “What do you want?”
“Oh, Flower. You have no idea how much of a loaded question that is. Did you really expect me to sit across the room and watch that dickhead smile and flirt with you?”
“He wasn’t flirting with me. We were conversing. There’s a difference.”
“As long as he doesn’t touch you or get any ideas about fucking with you, then we’re fine.”
“First, there is no we. Second, I”m a big girl, Drew. I don’t need you to be my protector.”
He grabs me by the waist and tugs me into his chest. The air wheezes from my lungs, and I feel his hot breath against my lips. “There has and always will be a we. If you don’t believe me, I will lift you by the ass, set you on that giant-ass oak table, and make certain everyone watches as I devour you from the inside out.”
I shiver at the territorial tone of his voice and the image of what he described.
“You wouldn’t dare!” I hiss, not even believing my own words.
His green eyes twinkle with mischief. “Oh I would, Flower, and you know it, so don’t tempt me.”
“Fine, but that’s not the real reason you came over here, right? It wasn’t to act like a caveman and show ownership, right? Because you should’ve just pissed in a circle around me.”
“I’ll be sure to do that next time.” He leans forward, and his lips brush the corner of my mouth. We shouldn’t be this close, and he definitely shouldn’t be kissing me. Not because it’s wrong, but because it”s drawing attention.
I can already feel other’s eyes on us, and I hate it. It’s like being under a microscope.
“I’ll be sure to do that next time, but right now, I need you to come with me for a few minutes.”
I take a step back and he lets me, releasing his hold on my waist. ”Where to?”
“Trust me?”
“Are you joking? Your track record has been less than stellar, Mr. Marshall.”
He smirks. “Good thing you don’t have an option, then.”
Grabbing my hand, he interlaces our fingers, then tugs me behind him as he leads me through the foyer. Everyone is immersed in conversation or drinks, and the few gawkers from earlier have moved on to someone else.
A nervous ball of energy forms in the pit of my stomach, and Drew’s gaze swings around the room almost as if he’s checking for witnesses. We stop at what appears to be a broom closet door that’s hidden under the stairs.
“Where are we going?” I whisper the question as he opens the door, tugging me inside behind him, his hand heavy in mine. The smell of dust tickles my nose, but it’s a welcoming scent.
“It’s a surprise,” he replies gruffly.
I’m momentarily blinded by the darkness as we cut through a long hallway. Seconds later, he releases my hand and grips the brass handles of a set of double doors. Bright light from the other side blinds me for a moment, and I blink a thousand times to get my eyes to adjust.
On the other side, I’m greeted with quietness. Minus the soft snoring emitted from a nurse who I spot resting in the corner and the soft beeping of hospital monitors.
The blood in my veins becomes ice, and my muscles clamp up.
Memories assault. My mother. Dying. Her cold hands. The tears that stained my cheeks. I force a ragged breath into my lungs and swallow the pain down.
It’s okay. It’s over now.
I often remind myself that grief is the price you pay for love.
With a gentle hand to the small of my back, his fingers splayed across my bare skin, Drew ushers me forward. ”I know it’s not the standard way of meeting parents but it’s all I could offer you and it’s important to me, so here we are. I want you to meet my mother.”
The softness that enters his voice when he says mother makes me lock my gaze with his. ”Your mother?”
He nods, and leads me to a medical bed across the room. A woman is laid out on the bed, her body placed perfectly in the center. She’s unmoving except for the slight rise and fall of her chest. I look at her face, and find her eyes closed, and it appears that she’s asleep. I can”t help but wonder if she might be closer to death.
”Is she okay?”
Gently, Drew smoothes the hair away from her face, the dark brown threaded with gray. I”m momentarily shocked at the gentleness and kindness that he shows his mother. It’s like flipping a light switch on and off.
”She”s alive, so I guess for now, yes, but she went into a coma some time ago, and we are just waiting for her to wake up. I don’t know all the details. My piece of shit father refuses to let me see her or have any knowledge of her care.”
I melt, witnessing this moment and the look of love that shines in his eyes as he stares down at her.
”Your mom is beautiful. What”s her name?”
”Victoria.”
I nod and reach for her, patting her hand softly. ”It”s so nice to meet you, Victoria. I”m Maybel. But you can call me Bel.”
His hand eases around my waist, and he tugs me to his side. ”I wish we could stay longer, but once my father notices I’ve disappeared, he’ll send his goons to find me, and all hell will break loose if he discovers I’m visiting her when I’m not supposed to.”
“You really are breaking the rules tonight.” I grin.
“I am. I had to check on her, and I”ve been wanting you to meet her. It just so happened that tonight was the perfect occasion for all of that.”
Calmness washes over me, and I lean into the feeling. For so long, I wondered if there was anything good in Drew, if he cared about anyone else but himself, and while I’ve wavered in understanding his psychotic tendencies, it’s clear to me now, after seeing him with his mother, that he’s willing to do anything to protect those he loves. I don’t know that I can continue to hold all his bad against him when his intentions are pure.
Drew talks to his mother for another few minutes, telling her about what he’s been doing and gushing about me. He smiles at her but even a smile can’t misplace the anguish and fear he feels for her. He’s a puppet on a string, and his mother’s life is hanging in the balance. I wish I could take the pain he’s feeling away, that I could hurt his father the way he’s hurt him but I can’t.
“We’ve got to go, Flower,” Drew whispers into my ear, pulling me back to the present.
“I look forward to meeting you again,” I tell her while giving a tiny wave goodbye. Drew is quiet as he leads me back to the party the same way we came. Before we enter the foyer, I give his hand a tight squeeze.
“Thank you for that. For taking me to meet your mother.”
He swallows thickly. “I can’t wait till the day she’s better, and you can both sit down and talk together. She’s going to love you. I just know it.”
Reality smacks me in the face then. Drew talks as if we’re together now, as if everything is better, but it’s not yet. Can it be? Can this all be fixed? Yes, but it’s not an overnight thing. It’s going to take time and patience. Still, I doubt I’d be able to walk away again. We remain together, me at his side, as we cut to the bar. The bartender asks for our orders, and Drew gets me a soda while ordering a whiskey for himself.
“I’ve been drinking wine almost all night,” I gripe when the bartender hands me the Pepsi.
“You aren’t of age,” he taunts and sips his whiskey with a smirk.
His playfulness is surprising, given his father’s appearance and the ordeal we had at the last event. At the end of the bar is a commotion, and I hear his dad’s vicious voice cutting through the air, a small crowd forming around him.
”She”s trash. She came from trash, and she”ll go back to it eventually, right? But can you marry trash if it comes with millions? Of course you can.”
Drew”s hand tightens on my waist, and I swallow hard, realizing he”s talking about me. An onslaught of emotions filters through me. Anger. Sadness. Anger again. I want to make him pay for all the pain he’s caused others.
Sebastian’s voice cuts through the men like a whip. ”Well, trash may come with millions, but what does it say about you when the trash decides it doesn’t want anything to do with you?”
I catch a glimpse of his face from the corner of my eye. There’s a storm brewing in his eyes, but he appears calm, bored even. I look back at Drew whose features mimic Sebastian’s. Many of the women and some of the men around the room wear that same face, that same expression. Do they learn this from the womb? The ability to lock down their emotions so completely, and if so, how do they do it?
I sip the soda and motion to the bartender, asking for a whiskey for myself. After a while, Drew leads me to speak with a few of the wives, introducing me to them, but I don”t hear names or see their faces.
All I can hear is Drew”s dad echoing his words from that night.
Trash. Trash. Trash.
Is that all I”ll ever be to them? Trash. Trash that might be worth millions now, but nevertheless still trash. As if he can sense my turbulent emotions, Drew cups the back of my neck and leans down.
”You give them too much, Flower. Clear your face. You have to adopt the mask, or they will use that soft heart you carry against you.”
Trash. Trash. Trash.
I shake my head and try to get the words to disappear from my brain, but they won’t.
”I don”t know if I can.”
”You can. You only think you can’t because you aren’t used to it. If you want to support Sebastian and survive in this world, you will learn to master your emotions.”
Ugh. Fine. I try to do exactly as he says. I go deep into my brain, focusing on squishing everything that’s annoying me, or threatening me at the moment, but the more I focus on those things, the more they threaten to swallow me.
”Would it help if when I fucked you later, I forced you to maintain that mask the whole time?”
His question makes me laugh. ”Could you maintain that look through sex?”
He shrugs. ”Maybe with another woman. Never with you.”
My heart fucking melts a little bit more for this man. Dammit.
”What is that look? It”s not the mask I just told you to adopt.”
I shake my head and stare out at the people, keeping my eye on Sebastian as he talks, shakes hands, makes deals or whatever it is he is doing. He”s in his element here, people want to talk to him, want to be near him. And why not? He”s young, handsome, and he just took over one of the biggest families.
Drew leans down, his lips brushing against my neck. “You look incredible, by the way. I want to rip this dress off with my teeth and fuck you in those heels.”
I smile and then hide the smile in my glass of whiskey. ”You”re not making it easy for me to maintain a neutral face.”
”When have I ever made anything easy?”
Ain’t that the truth?
Seb turns, exchanging conversation with another man. He smiles, and it appears things are going well until Drew’s father intervenes, clapping him on the back to face away.
I jerk my chin to the pair. ”What do you think that”s about?”
”Who fucking knows. My father is still trying to court himself into Sebastian’s good graces.”
I snort. ”Seb hates your father, and I think it started long before I entered the picture, or he took over the family.”
”Something my father hasn”t figured out yet. It’s fine. He’ll have to figure it out the hard way. If there’s one thing you need to know about Sebastian, it’s that he’s as cunning as he is handsome. He will cut you with the same hand he uses to wipe away your tears. I’ve known him since we were in grade school, and while I’m not afraid of him, I fully believe he would kill and burn the world to the ground to protect those he cares about.”
The opportunity to respond is ripped away from me when Sebastian’s icy voice falls over the room. ”Fuck you, Marshall. You have a lot of fucking balls to ask me that after everything you”ve done.” Everyone turns to look at what’s going on. Seb throws up his chin and glares down his nose at Drew”s dad. ”You”re nothing to me, Marshall. You or your family.”
Drew stiffens beside me, and I can”t help but fold under the attention that is turned on us with the release of that statement.
Shit. This isn”t good.
Drew’s dad draws himself off, his shoulders roll back, and there’s a predatory scowl etched into his face. My heart cinches in my chest, as he leans into Sebastian and whispers something. I have no clue what he says. All I know is that Sebastian’s expression gives nothing away.
I”m frozen. What the hell do I do? There is no choice to be made, not when Sebastian makes it for me. He sets his glass down on a passing tray and turns to face me in the crowd.
Our gazes collide, and I know without words being spoken that he wants me to come with him. I give Drew an apologetic look, and he releases me from his grasp, his touch ghosting against my bare skin. I hate leaving his side, but I can’t stay here without Sebastian.
The crowd parts for me, and when I reach my brother, he wraps a protective arm around me.
“If she’s trash, then I’m trash as well,” Sebastian announces, loud enough that everyone within earshot can hear. An embarrassment of heat climbs up my neck and into my cheeks. He leads us out the door, and I hold my breath waiting for something, anything to happen, but it doesn’t.
No one says a word, nor do they try to stop us. We are in the car before I realize I”m still holding the whiskey glass in my shaking hand and I know from that moment on nothing will ever be the same.