28. Bel
Acouple of days pass, and I find myself still thinking about the things Drew shared with me. My heart aches for him, bleeds for him even, but there’s nothing I can do to help him. It’s a potent kind of helplessness.
Forgiving him takes time, and I refuse to rush into a full-blown relationship, especially with his father still actively meddling in his life. If Drew wants a relationship with me, he’ll have to find a way to stand up to his father. I refuse to let our love be a secret. There’s no way in hell I’ll ever allow that. And I don’t think Drew would either if the tables were turned.
He wants me and wants us. I can see it and feel it. Every kiss. Every time he slips inside me. He’s worshipping my body, saying things he can’t put into words. It pulls me a little closer every time. His confession about his father, about all of it, means I need to forgive him.
Hell, deep down, I know I already have, but I haven’t brought myself to tell him yet. Not when I fear he’ll revert to his old ways at any second. He’s still very fragile, and any little thing could set him off, sending him back to the way he used to be.
Drew never was a snuggly bunny to begin with. There was always a darkness in him. A darkness which drew me in and whispered depraved things in my ear. Maybe accepting that, and forgiving him, means I will finally have to accept this part of me too. The part of me that likes what he does when he takes control, when he uses and commands me.
That part of me is the part I’m afraid to confess to, even if there is no confession needed between Drew and myself. It”s the simple fact that I need to acknowledge it and accept it without bashfulness or embarrassment.
I starfish out on my bed and let out a long sigh, just to release some of the pent-up energy that’s rolling through me. My stomach rumbles, reminding me that I skipped lunch in favor of studying. When will I ever learn? Rolling over and off the bed, I leave the confines of my room and head downstairs, making a beeline for the kitchen.
Maybe I’ll make a cup of coffee too. It”s almost dinnertime, and if Sebastian sees me drinking coffee this late, he”ll give major side-eye, but I”m willing to risk it. The guy is a nut when it comes to his concern over other people, but God forbid you tell him what to do. I walk through the side entrance of the kitchen and pause, my entire body clamming up when I spot Sebastian and Drew together across the room.
They’re hunched over the counter, and it looks like they’re discussing something. I dart back around the corner because I know both of them will shut down the moment they spot me. And for once, I want to know what the hell they’re up to. I swear if this is another macho ”she belongs to me” bullshit talk, I’m going to murder one or both of them.
Mmm, yes, both probably.
As I hide on the other side of the door, Drew’s quiet whisper fills my ears, “It’s a solid plan, but I don’t know if it’ll work?”
I crane my neck to hear, trying to block out the low hum of the refrigerator only a few steps away.
“Are you doubting me, Marshall? I think it’ll work just fine. My only concerns are Maybel and the effect that it will have on her, but in the end, it’s your decision. If you want to go through with it, I’m happy to help.”
Worried about me? Happy to help?
They might as well be speaking a foreign language right now. I thought they hated each other? Why are they acting all buddy-buddy? The tiny hairs on the back of my neck rise. Something is going on, and I’m going to get to the bottom of it.
Drew releases a long exhale and scratches his fingers up over his head. It takes me a second to process what he”s wearing once I get a decent look at him. Slacks, a button-down with the sleeves rolled up showing off his impeccable forearms.
He dressed up far more than usual. I like seeing him both ways but really prefer his blue jeans, letterman”s jacket, and black combat boots. That’s the real Drew, the one I’ve come to know. A hot rush of heat flames my skin all the way up to my ears as I think about those damn boots and the way he made me ride them that day.
”I’ve thought the decision through, Seb. There’s no other way. Maybel and my mom will never be safe with him alive. There’s no other option. He needs to die.” His words shock me, and a tiny gasp escapes my lips. Shit.
As if they heard the sound, their gazes snap from the counter, and they twist around. They both look like predators seconds away from attacking. Well, guess there”s no time like the present to walk in. Ignoring the words I just heard Drew speak, I cut around the corner with a big fake-as-shit yawn to give them some privacy, even if I plan to question Drew the second I get him alone.
“Fancy seeing you here,” I greet.
Sebastian gives me a wavering glance, but Drew stares at me for a long moment, his eyes roaming the length of my body, lingering over the T-shirt I’m wearing that’s now rode up on one side showing off a piece of bare flesh, down to the joggers that hang low on my hips. It’s nothing more than comfortable clothing. There’s nothing sexual about it but he’s looking at me like a man looks after a woman he’s hungered for his entire life.
”Bel,” he says, but it sounds more like a warning.
I’m momentarily consumed by the thought of him being a killer. Could he really do something like that? Kill his own father? There has to be another way to do this.
“You okay?” Sebastian interjects, his voice dipped in concern. I realize then that I’ve completely fallen off the deep end and should probably speak now.
I smile and walk closer to the island where they are sitting. ”Of course. What”s going on? Why aren”t you two murdering each other?”
Seb snorts like whatever I’ve said is hilarious, then he’s out of his chair, shoving the stool back under the counter. I’m not shocked.
“Oh, we were just about to get the knives out and start throwing them to see who has better aim.”
“Seriously?” I pretend to be shocked, when in reality I wouldn’t even be a little bit surprised if I walked in on them doing something like that. They have a long, turbulent history of fighting, at least according to Drew. Throwing knives would probably be a tame reaction from both of them.
“Don’t worry, Bel. You saved his life. Next time, though…” He winks. “Anyway, I”m leaving before I have to dismember him. Don”t forget I can kill you and make it look like an accident.”
“Oh, I’m so scared.” Drew laughs, seeming unfazed by the threat. Are they really joking around with each other? I swear the other day they were at each other’s throats but now it seems everything is okay? Maybe this has something to do with the conversation I walked in on?
I look between the two of them, shaking my head. What the hell is going on?
“As you should be, and will be especially if you bring her home late or if something happens to her.” He gives Drew a pointed glare and then walks out without any further explanation.
Weird.
“First, are you two okay? Second, what are you doing here? And why is he talking about you bringing me home late?”
He walks around the island and straight to me. I swear I can hear buzzing in my ears. The intensity of his gaze on me short circuits my brain. I can’t think when he’s this close to me. He smiles and my stomach tightens with excitement. Once close enough he snakes an arm around my waist, dragging me inside his body. The warmth of his body is both soothing, and exciting and I lean into his touch almost desperately.
”Well, the answer to your first question is a loaded one. We’re okay right now but give it five minutes and we’ll be at each other’s throats again.” I look up at him and frown, and he cups me by the cheek, his thumb gently caressing my lower lip. I shiver from his touch and breathe his intoxicating scent into my lungs. He smells even better tonight, like teakwood and cinnamon.
“Aren’t you excited to see me? I was hoping to surprise you, but you must’ve sensed me close by and decided to come investigate.”
“I had no idea you were here. I was actually coming down to make something to eat because I missed lunch, and my stomach was yelling at me.”
“Of course it was. I bet you were knee deep in a book, unable to bring yourself out of the hyperfixation.”
I blink slowly at him waiting for him to poke more fun at me, but all he does is smile. “If you think I’m making fun of you, you’re wrong. There is nothing sexier than when you immerse yourself in your studies and forget the rest of the world exists.”
I narrow my eyes and pin him with a stare. “Stop buttering up to me. What do you want?”
“Nothing, Flower. I came here to surprise you with a date. Then Sebastian and I got to talking, and time got away from me.”
“He knows about it already?”
Drew nods. “Yup. It wasn’t easy, but he’s allowing you to leave your tower for the evening. I have to have you back by midnight, though, or you turn into a pumpkin.”
“Funny!” I shake my head but smile.
His emerald eyes trail down the length of my body once more and the diamond hard tips of my nipples press painfully against the thin fabric of my shirt. I wonder if he can see them? See how turned on I become in his presence?
“And while I do like what you’re wearing and how easy it would be for me to strip you bare and fuck you raw, I think you should probably change first.”
There’s a hunger in his voice, and I want to tell him to forget the date, that we can go upstairs and fuck for the rest of the night, but a date with him, an official one. It’s something we’ve never done before, and if we’re going to be normal, or as normal as possible, I think it’s a good idea.
“You’re for real? You came here to surprise me for a date?”
”Yes, Bel. I came here to take you out on a date. The real kind where you get her flowers, and take her out to dinner, and give her a peck on the cheek at the end of the night.”
“Where are the flowers then?” I narrow my eyes suspiciously and take a step back from his hold, crossing my arms over my chest, trying to look intimidating but failing.
“Your brother already took them and put them by the window.” He hooks a thumb over his shoulder and I spot them sitting on the tiny little breakfast nook table.
The bouquet is a mixture of pink, purple, and yellow wildflowers. It’s beautiful, simple, and my heart feels fuller than before seeing those flowers, and knowing that he went out of his way to get them for me.
“Wildflowers…” I whisper to myself.
“There is no other flower that will do for you, Bel.” He grabs me by the hips, tugging me into his body, and then I feel his lips ghost against my forehead. Fuck. My resolve is slowly crumbling. Pulling away, he looks down at me, his eyes are bright and hazy with lust. “Go get dressed. I’m not ruining this date by fucking you in the kitchen. I want to do things right.”
It”s nothing short of an order but I”m too happy about it to complain. With my excitement chasing me,I rush from the kitchen and upstairs to get dressed. When I reach my closet I go through the racks of dresses, using his outfit to determine my own clothing choice.
Wherever we’re going is elegant. Not posh, but definitely upscale based upon his own attire. With that in mind, I snag a black sheath dress off the hanger, strip out of my clothes, and step into it quickly. It clings to my body like a second skin, hugging my hips and breasts perfectly. When I first saw it, I didn”t think I”d have any occasion for it, but now I can”t wait to see Drew”s tongue fall out of his mouth when he sees me in it.
After I have the dress on, and in place, I do my make up and thank the heavens that I decided to wear my hair down today, making it much easier to deal with. I put a clip in, keeping the hair half up and half down. I’m not sure how much time passes but I do my best to get ready quickly. When I make it back downstairs, he’s in the same spot I left him, leaning against the counter while casually browsing on his phone which he nearly drops at the sight of me.
His Adam”s apple bobs as he drinks me in. “Fuck me. Bel, you look beautiful.”
I shrug, heat climbing up my very on-display cleavage to my neck. ”Thank you. You said we were going on a date, and you”re...”
He’s on me in a blink, and my words are cut off by his lips, which descend on mine with burning passion. I’m melting into his arms, and thankfully, he’s there to catch me. His hands come around my waist and slip down over my ass.
It’s the touch of a man possessed with need, and my hope is he never stops touching me like this. He gives both ass cheeks a tight squeeze that ignites that low-building fire in my core.
I squeak and break away, breathless.
”Let”s go,” he growls, “before I lose control and fuck you on the countertop, leaving your release and my cum as proof that we were here.”
“Sebastian would not approve.” I laugh, already picturing his face if he discovered us.
“I don’t care what your brother approves of or not. Not when it comes to you, Flower. There are no rules, and if there were they were meant to be broken anyway. I’ll do whatever the hell I want with you and to you.” The unhinged tone of his voice, mixed with his words, wraps around me like smoke, and I shiver both turned on and excited.
“Lead the way, Caveman,” I taunt.
He takes my hand in his and tugs me out of the kitchen. Hand in hand, we walk the rest of the way through the house, stopping only once we’re outside. There’s a sleek all-black sports car parked a little bit down the drive. I assume it’s Drew’s since I don’t think Sebastian would ever drive something like that.
I’ve never seen Drew drive nor did I know he had a car, but I suppose there”s a first for everything. We walk down the driveway, and he opens the door for me with a smile. There’s still that lingering lust in his eyes, but it seems like he’s got a better grasp on himself now. After he helps me in, ensuring I buckle up, he climbs in on the driver’s side. When he starts the car, I feel the rumbling of the engine in my bones. It gives me a rush of adrenaline, and when he throws the thing in drive and speeds down the driveway, the acceleration pinning me back in the seat, I turn and look at him.
I decide to continue the conversation, hoping maybe that will help. ”Is this yours?”
He shifts gears like a professional race car driver expertly weaving through traffic. ”Yes, but I don”t drive it much. It”s temperamental.”
I smooth my hand over the soft leather. ”Like someone else I know.”
He shoots me a cheeky grin, but I can still sense something is wrong. I just can’t pinpoint what. “There isn’t really a reason to drive. Not when I can use the rideshare app or walk. I prefer the latter because walking gives me time to think and helps to clear my head.”
I nod and look down at my hands, which I’ve placed in my lap. Something feels off, and I don’t like it. This uneasiness seems to blanket the air. Back at the house, everything was fine, but now it”s not. I want him to tell me if something is wrong, to feel comfortable coming to me.
I want us to be a team.
“Is everything okay?” I look up from my hands and over at him. He glances away from the road, his gaze meeting mine for half a second.
“Of course everything is okay. Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Well, for starters, you’re strangling the steering wheel like it owes you money.”
He lets out a huff and loosens his grip, choosing to drive with one hand instead. With his other, he reaches for me, interlacing our fingers. Whatever worries I had moments ago evaporate into thin air when he touches me.
“I’m just anxious, and I don’t want to fuck this up. That’s all.”
I don’t think that’s what it is, but I let him believe I do. The car swerves into the parking lot of some swanky restaurant. It looks like one of those steakhouses, but if I had to describe it, I’d say it’s a Texas Roadhouse meets a country club.
Drew pulls up, stopping at the entrance. The valet attendant greets us and opens my door, offering me a hand. I’m just about to place my hand in his when Drew comes out of nowhere, glaring daggers at the guy.
“Don’t touch her,” he practically growls and tosses the keys at him.
The kid, who looks to be about sixteen or so, clams up.
“Sorry.” I frown and let Drew help me out of the car. Once I’m standing, I tug him toward the entrance to make sure he doesn’t start anything.
Inside, we’re greeted by a hostess. The lights are low, and the sound of piano music filters in through the speakers.
It’s beautiful and fancy as fuck.
For once, I feel appropriately dressed, if not a little self-conscious as I feel people”s eyes raking across my bare skin. My arms, shoulders, and legs are all exposed, and the dress hugs every inch of my skin tightly. Drew doesn’t appear to notice their gawking stares and skims his hand down my spine as he speaks with the hostess.
“Right this way, Mr. and Mrs. Marshall.”
The woman smiles, and I open my mouth to tell her we’re not married but then think better of it. I’m sure it was an accident. The woman guides us to the left of the restaurant into an area that looks like it’s been roped off for private parties or high end guests. Drew’s hand on my lower back grounds me, and once we’re in the room, the hostess disappears.
The strange feeling is still there, but I ignore it and give him a smile, allowing him to pull the chair out for me. I scoot into the table, my gaze sweeping the room. It’s beautiful with the lights dimmed, candles lit, and a bouquet of roses on the table.
I look away from the decor and right at Drew. Where I expect to see a smile, I find a face that is closer to that of a man who wants to throw up.
What is wrong with him?
He takes the chair opposite of me, and I keep my smile in place even as I slump at the fact he didn”t take the seat right next to me. It”s not a huge table, but it feels big enough that he seems far away. I try to ignore the bad feeling festering in my gut and put my attention elsewhere.
”This entire place is beautiful and amazing. I’m happy that you brought me here, but what made you choose this place?”
He sucks in a sharp breath and snaps his napkin out to place it across his lap.
”Fuck, Maybel, am I going to have to explain every decision I make to you from now on?”
I blink slowly and swallow around the lump of emotion in my throat.
”Wha-What?”
He shakes his head, and I watch the muscles along his jaw jump as he grits his teeth.
“Just… let’s have a good night,” he says, his voice a little softer.
I’m bewildered by the change in his attitude but don’t get the chance to comment on it because the server comes in right then. She brings a pitcher of water with her and fills our cups, then follows with red wine.
I breathe through my nose and remind myself that while I’m not taking any more of Drew’s shit, I also want us to be a team. We can’t do that if my first thought is to always fire back and be on the offensive.
“Have a good night?” I question. “This was your idea, and now you’re sitting across from me acting as if you’re pissed that you brought me here in the first place.”
What the hell is happening here?
Even when he”s been mean, cruel, he”s never...like this. Not to me at least. It’s a red flag. Something is off, wrong.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
As he watched me from across the table, I can feel his eyes sweeping a fiery path over my skin. I see something that resembles panic shining in his eyes. What’s going on? What is he not telling me? The desire to flee to that safe place in my mind is difficult to fight against but I do it.
I push out of my chair and stand beside the table. “Drew. I need you to talk to me. I know something is wrong.”
The door behind us opens, and I twist in my seat. My entire body becomes one frozen block when I realize who walked in. It’s not the server that comes through the door but Drew”s father.
He saunters into the room in his twenty thousand dollar suit, his hair slicked back, his eyes hard and unwavering. ”Well, isn”t this cozy? You two are finally taking the time to get to know each other the proper way?”
The proper way? He’s kidding, right?
It all makes sense now. The puzzle pieces glide into place, and while I’m angry at his father’s sudden appearance, I’m not really surprised. Putting my trust in Drew, I choose to believe that this isn’t a setup, and he didn’t go through this willingly.
After our heart-to-heart the other night, I have no doubts that this is all his father’s doing. I’m tempted to retreat into myself and scurry around the table and hide behind Drew. Especially when his father’s beady eyes sweep the length of my body, stopping at my cleavage and the short hem of my dress, but I don’t. I won’t give this fucker the satisfaction of scaring me into submission.
”My, oh, my, doesn”t your little wallflower clean up well? She almost looks...decent. It’s crazy how a little makeup, money, and dress can change a girl”s entire appearance.”
Hot liquid rage makes me clench my hands into tight fists.
”You’re a pig.” I can’t stand to be in the same room with this monster, not with all the knowledge I know about it. “Let me know when the trash takes itself out. I’ll be at the bar until then.” I move to push past him, but he cuts me off.
His hand clamps tight around my bicep, circling it completely. ”Please, you don”t have to leave, at least not on my account. I only wanted to make sure my son’s date is well taken care of.” I cringe, my skin crawling from his touch. He’s looking at me like I’m a side of beef at the butcher, and he might want a cut.
There”s a noise, and I realize Drew’s practically vibrating as he surges to his feet, his knees having knocked into the table in his haste to get to me. The heavy, erratic beat of my heart slows once Drew reaches my side. “Let. Her. Go”
His father releases me and lifts his hands into the air as if to say he means no harm. “Don”t get your panties in a twist. I was just ensuring your date doesn”t abandon you before the first course, Son.”
The server returns with bread and sets it in the middle of the table. Drew”s dad snatches the woman around the waist, one arm anchoring her to him the other circling her throat, his touch possessive.
”Oh, two lovely women in one room. If only my son could handle the bounty.”
I grimace and then snap at him. ”Leave her alone. She”s just doing her damn job.”
His eyes flash to mine and then narrow. I can tell he wants to say something, but he doesn’t. Instead, he shoves the girl away, discarding her like trash. She skitters out of the room, her chin ducked low, but I don’t miss the shades of red painting her cheeks.
We are all standing, eyeing each other. Drew’s body is strung tight with tension. His father eyes us both, and it’s hard to tell what his next move will be. It’s like waiting for a bomb to go off. After a minute, Drew”s dad lets out a boisterous laugh. It echoes through my head, and when he lifts his hands, taking a step back, I flinch.
Drew notices and grits his teeth, anger pulsing through him. He wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me tight to his side.
“I think it’s time for you to leave,” Drew orders.
After a moment, he senses that neither of us are going to give in to his fucked-up game.
”Okay, well, I”ll leave you two kids to enjoy the rest of your evening. I just wanted to make sure things were going well.”
It”s on the tip of my tongue to ask him why he cares, but inviting conversation with him is like walking a tightrope. A tightrope with piranhas circling a lake below, and I’m not about to step out on that line.
Almost like he wasn’t here to begin with, he disappears from the room. The second the door shuts behind him, I release all the air from my lungs. I break out of Drew’s hold and walk back to the table. I slump against it, bracing both my hands on it to steady myself.
I turn to face Drew.”I’m trying really hard not to react, but I really, really want to react. So please, tell me. Was this a setup? Did you willingly agree to play your father’s game or…?” When he opens his mouth to speak, all I can do is shake my head. “Drew, I’m trying, okay? I’m meeting you halfway, but I’m struggling because as long as your father has control over you, there will be no us. There can never be an us. How can there ever be? He’ll always be there pulling the strings.”
Drew reaches for me, his arm wrapping around my waist like a band of steel, refusing to let me escape.
“As long as there”s breath in my body and yours, there will always be an us.”
“No, there won’t. Your father will use me against you for the rest of our lives. I won’t be a willing or unwilling pawn to him.”
“You don’t have to be. Just…I can’t lose you.”
I tense and force myself to breathe. “Then talk. Tell me what happened.”
He slumps forward, his body loosening behind mine as if in defeat, and I hate it so much. I almost turn around to face him but talk myself out of it. He doesn”t need or want my empathy.
”It”s not something we can talk about here. Can I take you on a real date? Please? Somewhere that is us and where there’s none of this bullshit. If you want to go home afterward, then I”ll take you without any argument.”
I roll my eyes. As if Drew wouldn”t argue. I don”t believe that for a second, but I”m inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt after his conversation with me the other day.
I let out a sigh. ”Fine, but I want you to give that server an absolutely obscene tip before we go. She deserves it after dealing with your father.”
He chuckles, his breath against my neck. ”I’m fine with that. Let”s get out of here, Flower.”