Chapter 23 #2
“It certainly fucking is,” I snapped. “Now, clear out. You’ve behaved like a fool. You’ve embarrassed me and this school instead of doing what you were supposed to do this evening and guarding the blooddamned doors.”
Silvio stalked off. I knew he’d be trouble later. Resisting the urge to rub my temples, I turned to the other three guards. “Are you blind? Don’t you see Miss Shen standing here waiting to enter? She’s our guest of honor tonight. Open the fucking doors.”
Rodriguez put his arm around Dani and gently led her down the hall. As I watched, he turned his head and looked back at me. He nodded. Was that meant to be thanks? Stiffly, I nodded back.
“Miss Shen,” I said quickly, before she could move past. The blightborn girl’s dress was a fanciful concoction of silver. She looked pretty and pristine and pure—my opposite in every way. As I spoke, she paled and looked up at me as if she were afraid. But I’d become used to such reactions.
“Yes, Headmistress?”
I took a deep breath. “You look lovely this evening. Congratulations on your engagement and best wishes on your future union to Kage Tanaka.”
“Th-thank you,” she stuttered, her brown eyes widening.
Medra said nothing. I could feel her watching me, but I refused to meet her eyes. A trumpet played, announcing Florence’s arrival. Medra swept in after her.
The doors shut behind them. I stood there for a moment, trying to regain my bearings. I hadn’t meant to say that. I wasn’t even sure where the words had come from. It wasn’t like me to be gracious or bother trying to be kind. That wasn’t who I was—or who anyone expected me to be.
“Headmistress.” It was Cade, one of my Bloodguards. He stepped forward and looked me up and down appreciatively, his eyes lingering on certain parts of my body a little longer than was strictly appropriate. “Are you attending the ball alone?”
I raised my chin. “I am.”
“If you’d like an escort, I’d be happy to accompany you.” He grinned at me.
I stared up at him, still feeling offkilter.
My archon, a wretched specimen of a highblood, was in Veilmar, no doubt drinking his fill from his trove of thralls and fucking half of them senseless while I stood here alone, doing his bidding, the obedient consort as always.
Inside the hall … my breath hitched. Inside, Florence Shen was no doubt being swept into Kage Tanaka’s waiting arms.
And this was how it would be. Now—and forever. This was my life now. This was what I had chosen for myself.
I forced a crisp smile. “That’s very sweet of you, Cade. But I’ll be fine.”
I pulled open the doors and entered the hall.
I worked my way around the ballroom like a drowning woman treading water.
I smiled, I nodded, I held onto my silver flute of bloodwine like a lifeline.
I was cornered by highblood nobility. First by Quinn’s mother, Lady Riley, who asked if she could use the refectory for Quinn’s betrothal ball.
I told her no—politely. She didn’t take it well.
At dinner I was seated with the Sylvains.
Lord Sylvain commended me for instituting more restrictions on blightborn freedom, while his son, Evander, sat silently listening.
I’d heard about what happened to Evander’s little triad, how Visha Vaidya had decided to walk away from both him and Lucian Aleron in a fit of pique.
As I listened to Evander’s father spouting about the need for greater dominance over the blightborn, I wondered if there was more to it than what I’d been told.
After dinner, I drifted about the room, refusing offers to dance from lecherous old highblood men.
Not that Viktor would have cared if I danced; he would only have cared if I enjoyed it.
A soft melody began to drift through the hall, and I turned my head to the dance floor where Florence Shen, looking pale and ethereal in her silver gown, began a waltz with Kage.The Avari House Leader steered her unhurriedly, his hand steady at the small of her back, as if he’d been born for the ballroom instead of battle drills and highblood house intrigue.
But I knew better—there was a wolf inside Kage Tanaka.
He’d been born for the wild. For the open air and freedom.
For something better than stifling ballrooms and cruel gossip.
How I envied him. If I could turn into a wolf, I wouldn’t have been standing there, I’d have my teeth at Viktor’s throat.
Florence smiled up at Kage. I studied her face, wondering how much she cared for him already. Probably a lot. After all, he was a highblood, and she was a blightborn. It was like something from a fairy tale: the blightborn girl who married the wolf-prince.
My stomach twisted as Kage smiled back at her. Was it my imagination, or did his smile seem a little forced? I reached for another glass of wine. Dessert was being served—a rich chocolate cake trimmed with bloodberry frosting—but I knew I wouldn’t be able to taste it.
Viktor had promised me power. Promised I’d rule this place.
Instead, I was the ghost haunting the castle.
Everywhere I moved, conversations broke apart, reforming only once I’d moved away.
I was the youngest headmistress Bloodwing had ever had.
I was also the most despised. Everyone knew how I’d gotten the position—by sleeping my way to the top of the Sangrathan food chain.
Would they care if I told them I regretted my choice every day?
Would they care if they knew the real reason why I’d done it?
They were highbloods, so of course they wouldn’t. They’d be gleeful.
I thought of Persis. He was so small, so young.
There was no use in asking if he’d do the same for me someday.
Of course he would—if he ever had the chance to grow up.
I thought again of Kage as the wolf, how strong he was, how fast he could run.
If I were a wolf, could I save Persis? Would I be any match for Viktor then?
Or would he tear me to pieces just as easily?
Somewhere between the hallway and the refectory, I realized something had happened.
A cascade of unrelenting selfknowledge and unwanted truths.Viktor was never letting Persis go, not so long as I was his consort.
It didn’t matter that I was obedient. It didn’t matter that I was doing everything he wanted.
He enjoyed the leverage too much to ever relinquish it.
Another man might have tested my loyalty and then honored his agreement and let Persis go. But somehow, I knew—Viktor never would.
Persis was trapped—but so was I. I couldn’t save him any more than I could save myself.
I decided this selftorture had gone on long enough.
I’d made an appearance. I’d congratulated the happy couple—well, one of them, at least. I’d mingled and played my part.
No one would notice if I slipped away. When the musicians struck the notes of the next set, I headed for the doors. I was almost there.
“Leaving so soon?” Kage stepped into my path.
The Avari leader towered over me. I wore heels—I was always wearing heels—but even those hardly made a difference with him.
His eyes locked onto mine, rich and dark, with a touch more warmth than usual.
His pale hair gleamed like polished silver against the rich black of his formal jacket.
There was an elegance to him tonight that made him look both refined and fiercely commanding.
Beneath his dark brows his gaze was intense, focused—as if he could read the turmoil swirling about beneath my carefully constructed mask.
“Dance with me.”
I smiled coolly. “No, thank you. I was just leaving. I’ve stayed long enough to fulfill my obligations.”
“Not all of them.”
My mind went straight to the last words he’d said to me the last time we’d been alone together: When a wolf finds his true mate, he knows. What the hell was that supposed to mean? How could I be his mate when I was trapped with Viktor and when Kage was about to take Florence Shen as his consort?
Kage was still standing there waiting. “One dance is all I ask. Then you can go.” He held out his hand. “You don’t want to make a scene, do you?”
I glanced around. No one was watching us yet. Continuing to refuse would be too revealing, too much of an admission of my own vulnerability.
I tilted my head in assent and let him take my hand.
Kage’s fingers closed around mine, and all the intentions I’d had of remaining restrained and poised fled.
His grasp was firm and warm. As our palms met, I shivered, remembering the feel of his blood flowing into me.
I should never have made the Blood Vow. There was something far too intimate about the highblood tradition.
I’d let a piece of Kage Tanaka enter my body and slide right into my soul.
Now I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to get him out again.
The orchestra shifted so seamlessly into the next waltz that I wondered if Kage had asked them to play it.
The song was slower, with a melody that seemed sad to me.
He led me onto the dance floor, then firmly clasped my waist with both hands.
For a moment, my entire body stiffened. But the next, I found myself leaning into his touch.
I inhaled slowly. He smelled so good, the opposite of Viktor.
There was no death and decay here; Kage smelled like the earth, like fresh fallen snow and cedarwood.
“This is an unusual waltzing position,” I murmured.
One hand should have been at the small of my back, the other clasping my hand.
There should have been distance between us, just like when he’d danced with Florence.
Instead, his hands were practically wrapped around me.
I imagined them slipping lower, grasping my hips as he pulled me tight against him.
“Would you like me to move my hands?”
I cleared my throat. “I didn’t say that.”