The Wishing Game

Chapter 36

THIRTY-SIX

T ears course down my cheeks as I stare at the broken mirror and the shards of glass scattered across the floor. My white dress is stained with red, blood dripping from my hands onto the lace I'd so carefully chosen for this special occasion. There is pain. But it's not just physical. There's a fire burning inside my chest that no medication could cure.

I heave loudly as sobs rack my body, my legs shaking uncontrollably until I buckle to the ground, my knees hitting the hard floor. Pieces of glass break through the surface of my skin, and a muffled cry escapes my lips as I bottle up even more pain.

There's one last intact piece of the mirror in front of me, my pathetic reflection staring back and taunting me with all my shortcomings. I should have never left the hacienda. How did I survive when everyone else died? Why the hell am I still here?

Images of my last day at the hacienda flash before my eyes. Instead of saving Noelle, I doomed her to a worse fate. And it was all because I left when I shouldn't have; it was all because I let Nikki convince me to leave.

It should have been me who died in that fire, not Noelle.

From the start, it should have been me...

My hands wander around the floor, picking up a piece of glass and tracing my fingers around the sharp edge. The pain helps, the familiar sting jolting me back to the past—to an era I can't possibly forget.

The door to my room bursts open, Nikki charging inside with a wild expression on his face. He's wearing a three-piece suit, looking dashing for what was supposed to be a happy occasion.

His eyes widen as he sees me hunched over in my bloodied dress, holding tightly onto the sharp glass in my hand.

"Luce, sweetheart..." he whispers in a ragged, pained voice.

He falls to his knees beside me, unclasps my fingers from around the glass, and throws it aside. My blood transfers onto his hands, seeping into his skin, forging yet another connection between us.

"What's wrong? What's happening?" he asks, breathing harshly.

"I can't do this, Nikki..." I sob. "I can't do this..."

"What? What is it? Tell me and we'll fix it," he tells me in a pleading tone, his eyes glistening with tears as he takes in my disheveled appearance.

"I can't marry you," I whisper, slowly raising my gaze to his. My throat is dry and painful as I force the words out. Yet the devastation that strikes his features pains me even more.

"W-what? What do you mean?" he speaks slowly, his lips trembling.

"I can't do it, Nikki. I can't..." I break down even more, the tears flowing down my face. "How can you marry me? How can you stand to look at me?"

"Luce, I don't understand. What's wrong? What prompted this? We were fine this morning. We..."

"It should have been me, Nikki. I should have died. Not Noelle..." I cry out.

"How can you say that?" he rasps, pulling back and looking as if I'd physically struck him. "How can you even think that?"

"Because it's the truth. She should have lived to be with her baby. She should have lived, not me." I take a deep breath. "She had a family. People who loved her. And I..."

"You what, Luce? You what?" he demands in a rough voice.

"I..." I blink slowly.

"Finish your sentence."

"I have no one," I utter in a low, barely audible voice. Shame eats at me as I avert my eyes, not wanting to see the disappointment in his.

"You have no one?" he asks bitterly, letting go of my arms and stepping away from me. "Is that what you think? That you have no one?"

"No, Nikki... I didn't mean it like that." I shake my head.

He squeezes his eyes shut, the pain in his expression ripping a hole in my heart.

"I've done all you asked of me. You wanted time. I gave it to you. You wanted to grieve, I let you grieve. But how much longer will you punish yourself for this? How much longer will you punish me ?"

"Nikki... I'm sorry," I say, bringing my hands to my face to wipe the tears away, but in the process, I'm only smearing more blood on my skin. "I didn't mean it like that..."

"What did you mean then?" His features darken. "One year, five months, two days, and ten hours. That's how long it's been since the fire. That's how long it's been since..." He takes a deep breath, scrubbing his hand over his face. "That's how long it's been since you let me touch you."

My lashes flutter in distress as I register the pain and frustration in his voice.

"Sometimes... I wonder if you truly love me, or if I was just an escape for you."

"What?" My eyes flare open in shock.

"Maybe I fooled myself because I was so goddamn in love with you." His lips flatten in disappointment. "I thought that as long as I gave you space, you'd come back to me. When you finally accepted my proposal, I was over the moon thinking finally, she's ready to move on. But you're not, are you?" He pauses. "Are you ever going to be ready?"

"Nikki... That's not true. You know that's not true. I love you," I tell him from the bottom of my heart, dragging myself closer to him even as my skin bleeds and peels off.

He shakes his head.

"Then how come you've never shown it to me before?"

My mouth hangs open as I simply stare at him.

"I—" I drift off, not knowing how to answer. He is right. I've been so wrapped up in my grief I've never once stopped to consider how he might be feeling.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, lowering my head in shame. "You're right. I've been horrible to you. I am horrible to you right now when you don't deserve this—you don't deserve any of this. I know it's not what you signed up for and?—"

"Stop right there," he interrupts me.

I slowly look up to see him come closer to me, kneeling next to me.

" You are what I signed up for. All of you, Luce. I just wish you wouldn't shut me out. Let me share your pain. Let me help you through it," he whispers, his features softening.

My lips tremble as I cup his face in my palms.

"It's not just that, Nikki," I tell him sincerely. "I think I'm...damaged," I confess. It takes everything in me to admit this since I've barely had the courage to admit it to myself. But as much as I can put the fault on my grief, I know there's more. There's the deepest issue and the fact that I don't think I deserve him.

"What?" he barks, his eyes flashing at me.

"Look at me," I say with a quivering smile.

"I am. You'll always be the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, Luce."

I shake my head at him.

Bringing my hands to my bodice, I pull on the lace until it gives way, shattering to reveal the marked skin beneath. But I don't stop at that. Picking up a sharp piece of glass, I continue to rip and cut into the dress until it falls from my body. Until I'm naked in front of him—bare for the first time ever.

He may have seen some of my marks. But he hasn't seen the rest. He hasn't seen the scars that mar my skin, the rough bumps and the gnarly, red tissue that never healed properly.

"I can't look at myself and not see the past," I whisper. "I can't stand to look at my own self, so how could you?"

His features tighten as he wipes my tears away with his thumbs. But he doesn't look at my body. He only looks at me.

"Let me help you build a new past, present, and future. Let me love you until you love yourself, too, Luce. Just... Let me love you."

"But what if... What if I'm not enough?" I swallow a sob as I stare into his eyes, struck speechless by the unconditional love I see there.

"You'll always be everything , Luce." He smiles at me. "I just hope I can be everything for you, too."

Tears trickle down my cheeks as I nod fervently.

He brings the rough pads of his fingers to my calves, trailing soft touches all over my skin until he reaches the bleeding wounds caused by the broken glass. He carefully plucks all the residual glass from my flesh before swooping me up in his arms. I don't question what he's doing or where he's taking me. I simply wrap my arms around his neck, burying my face in the crook of his shoulder and breathing in his familiar scent. My breathing evens out as my sobs subside. But as the fog over my mind starts to clear, embarrassment and regret fill me to the brim.

I tighten my grip on Nikki, wondering how I'm going to face him after my outburst. God... I've put him through hell, haven't I? I've made him suffer without even realizing it, and still, he's stayed by my side.

Nikki takes me to the adjacent bathroom and lays me in the bathtub. He turns the water on, making sure the temperature is perfect before he redirects his attention to me.

"Don't." He stops my hand when I try to cover myself. "You wanted me to see. So let me see," he murmurs, bringing the shower head to my skin and washing the blood away.

His hand follows the jet of water as he touches me softly. First my shoulders, then going lower, tracing the contour of my ribcage before reaching my belly.

"It's okay." I give him permission as he proceeds lower.

"You're so beautiful, Luce," he speaks huskily, his eyes hooded as he regards me with love and...lust. There's no disgust. No aversion. There's only a reverent love that warms my insides.

"I'm sorry," I say as I reach to touch him. "I love you, Nikki. I truly didn't mean it like that. I was just... I let my weakness get the best of me. I never meant to hurt you."

He covers my hand with his, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply.

"I know you didn't, Luce. I know." He gives me a sad smile.

I blink away tears as I look at him. I hurt him. I hurt him, but he won't admit it.

"Come in." I pull lightly on his hand, urging him to join me.

His eyes scan my features, perhaps to ensure that I mean it, or that I'm ready for it.

"Please, come in," I repeat.

He swallows hard, his gaze dipping lower to my body.

"Luce... I'm not made of stone," he admits in a thick voice.

"Please."

He stares at me for a moment before he places the showerhead next to me in the tub and stands up. Slowly, as if giving me time to change my mind, he starts taking off his clothes. He undoes the bowtie at his neck, throwing it to the ground before unbuttoning his shirt.

I lick my lips as he shrugs the shirt off, letting it drop to the floor. He's always been beautiful to me, but I never imagined he'd have such a powerful physique. Isn't it pathetic? We've been living together for more than a year and I've never seen him without his shirt off.

As he reaches for his belt, he raises his brows at me.

I nod, pushing my anxiety aside.

He quickly discards his pants too and stands entirely naked before me.

I gulp, doing my best not to avert my gaze as heat climbs up my cheeks.

Getting in the tub, he sits behind me, pulling me to him and laying his cheek against my back. Slowly, he nuzzles his face against my skin, his palms splayed across my stomach. One hand moves higher, the tips of his fingers grazing my breast.

I inhale sharply.

"I'm not going to do anything, Luce. Not now. Not today."

"But—"

"We're not married yet. And I'm not marrying you today."

"What?" I burst out, turning to face him.

He gives me a sad smile as he tugs a strand of wet hair behind my ear.

"Today we talk. We grieve. We cry for the past," he tells me, taking my hands and bringing them between us. With gentle movements, he washes my scratches before bringing my knuckles to his lips to kiss the pain away. "Today we face everything we didn't dare face before."

I bite my lip as I stare at him. Renewed sobs bubble in my throat just as tears stab at my eyes.

"And tomorrow?" I ask in a whisper.

"Tomorrow is another day." His lips pull up.

"Please don't be mad at me. I couldn't bear it if you were mad at me," I mumble as I drag myself closer to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. My chest brushes against his, and we both suck in a breath at the sensation. Goosebumps cover my body, a tingle of awareness spreading to my core. Raising my gaze to meet his, I note the darkening of his eyes. His pupils are dilated, his lips half-parted as his breathing intensifies.

"I'm not mad at you, sweetheart. I'm mad at myself because I didn't realize what you were going through. I thought you were healing. I thought time could cure it, but it didn't, did it? It only made it worse."

I stifle a sob at his words and give him a slow nod.

"We'll get through this together. Because you have me, Luce. You'll always have me."

"I know. I was foolish to say that. You're the most important person to me, Nikki."

He pulls me flush against him, his arms resting against my lower back as he urges me to wrap my legs around him. We're so close, I feel that hard part of him resting against my core.

"Nikki..." I moan softly.

His breath fans my face as he skims his lips across my cheek.

"Are you in pain, sweetheart? Tell me where it hurts and I'll kiss it better," he murmurs lovingly. I turn my face, catching his lips with mine, brushing my mouth against his in slow, gentle movements.

"Nikki," I call his name, wiggling my hips to feel him better against me.

I brush my tongue against his mouth to deepen the kiss, but instead of tasting his lips, I taste the empty air. A whooshing sound makes me jump back just in time to avoid the cut of a sword. Wide with shock, my eyes take in the sharp blade and the person handling it. He's wearing a black tunic over a pair of loose pants, his dark hair curling over his forehead. His eyes are a deep purple that glints with dangerous intentions. A twitch appears in his cheek, his muscles tense as he pulls his sword back, sheathing it in the scabbard at his waist. Still, he doesn't take his eyes off me, staring me down with a mix of loathing and anger that's apparent in the clench of his jaw.

"Who are you?" I shout, scrambling back. At the same time, I notice that the spot previously occupied by Nikki is empty.

What? Where did he go? What...

It also dawns on me that I'm fully naked in the presence of a murderous stranger. Is he here for Nikki? Did his family send him to kill us before we got married for fear they might lose access to his money?

I struggle to cover myself with my arms, my eyes dipping quickly to the floor where Nikki had discarded his clothes. But there's nothing there.

"What—"

My words are cut off as the stranger advances toward me. Without thinking, I get out of the tub and make a run for the door. But I only manage to take one step before he grips my arm, pulling me toward him.

"Stop moving," he barks in my ear, his voice barely contained.

"Please don't hurt me," I whisper, squeezing my eyes shut.

"I will not hurt you, human," he grits out. "Though I have never in my life experienced such an all-encompassing rage," he states and I feel a current of anger course through his body as he struggles to keep himself from smothering me to his chest.

"What are you talking about?" I ask weakly, daring to open my eyes to look at him.

Those eyes. Those purple eyes. Why are they so familiar?

A sharp pain echoes in my brain and I sway from side to side. He's there to hold me, lowering his arm to my waist.

"Ze?" I whisper, blinking hard against an onslaught of images that inundate my brain. "What's happening?"

His features are tight, his lips compressed in a scowl.

"I told you to wait for me," he speaks in a slow, thick voice. "You fell through a portal."

"What do you mean?"

"This..." He nods to the area around us. I turn to look, and that's when I notice that we're no longer in the bathroom, nor am I naked anymore.

I'm wearing the same hoodie and tights I was wearing before—when we were in P'davi. And just like that, I remember everything.

Nikki is...dead. And I'm in a foreign world, competing in a game to get him back.

Our surroundings are bleak. A barren earth enveloped by a blood-red sky.

"It's a parasitic world," Ze explains. "Once you are inside, it starts consuming your life force."

"But... I saw..."

"What you saw were all memories. Parasitic realms lure their victims and trap them in their memories so they do not realize as their life force is being consumed."

"Am I dying?" I ask in a whisper.

"You are not dying," he answers dryly. "You have not been trapped in here for long. But we need to return to P'davi."

"So let's do it," I add quickly.

"I cannot do it. It will have to be you," he says tightly.

"What? How?"

"You have to want to leave. The memories shown to you are not random. They are chosen specifically to make you want to lose yourself in them."

I look around me. "But I want to leave," I mutter.

The corner of his mouth pulls up in a wry smile.

"If you did, we would already be back."

"Then how?" I frown.

"What is your happiest memory?" he suddenly asks.

I purse my lips as I try to think of it. But before I can even identify it, our surroundings change. Shock envelops me as I recognize the dark tunnels of the temple I was sentenced to work on at the hacienda.

My breath hitches just as a shiver of fear runs down my back.

What... Why... Why would this be my happiest memory?

Sensing my discomfort, Ze comes closer to me, threading his fingers through mine.

"This can't be..." I whisper. Yet just as the words are out of my mouth, I recognize what this memory is.

I'm right there, digging into a wall with some shabby tools. But instead of crying in pain from the blisters on my hands, I'm smiling. My eyes are on the person next to me, the affection I bear him evident.

"Vamos, trata de nuevo." He chuckles.

I clear my throat. "My name is Lucero," I say in a thick accent. "You are Nicholas." I point at him. "I am sixteen. You are nineteen."

"Perfecto." He claps at me. "Seguro que no has aprendido ingles antes?"

"No." I smile. "Es la primera vez."

"Eres muy inteligente, Luce," he praises me softly. "Vas a aprender hablar ingles rápidamente."

"Solo gracias a ti," I tell him, sliding a little bit closer. "Cuéntame mas de tu país."

Still working, he watches me indulgently as he tells me yet another story about his home, about those big cities I can hardly imagine and all the possibilities available to the people living there. He tells me about a land of freedom.

And for the first time, I have hope.

For the first time, I also...love.

Tears fall down my cheeks as I realize that was the beginning of who I am today. Before that, I never dreamed about the outside world. I never dared dream that I could be free. Before that, I never heard anyone praise me before.

Nikki was the first to see me as a person.

"Why are you crying?" Ze's booming voice snaps me out of my thoughts. Somehow, he's in front of me, tipping my chin up and wiping my tears away. "I command you to stop crying."

"It doesn't work like that, Ze," I tell him with a tremulous smile. "I cannot just stop crying."

"It is because of that man ?" he grits out, his voice holding a violent edge to it.

"That man is my husband. He's also the only man to ever acknowledge me as a person and see my potential. Without him... I wouldn't be standing here today."

"I do not understand you," he frowns.

A sad smile tips at my lips, just as the background of that memory fades away.

"Before I met Nikki, I was depressed. I was not going to last long there. People hated me. The work was hard. Food was barely enough. I was living from day to day, thinking—no, wishing that the next day would be my last. Back then, death was the only way out. But then Nikki showed up and he opened my eyes to a world full of possibilities. He taught me English and spoke to me of the wonders of the outside world. He appreciated me as a person and not just a means of production. And just like that, he gave me hope that life could be...more."

Ze's brows are bunched together. He's staring at me as if he doesn't understand a word of what I'm saying. But he doesn't need to. Because I finally understand.

It would be so easy to give in to this parasitic realm just so I could reside forever in my memories of Nikki. But that wouldn't solve anything, just as my death at the hacienda wouldn't have solved everything. Because Nikki taught me something else too.

Perseverance.

You can't just hope and wait for things to fall into your lap. You have to work hard to make those things a reality.

I could choose dream Nikki—an easy way out. But it wouldn't be real. Nikki wouldn't be real, and in the end, as my life's essence dissipates, I would cease to be real as well.

The only way to win this game is to not give up. No matter what happens, I cannot give up. I may not have encountered these supernatural trials in the past, but I've encountered plenty of hardships along the way. If I've survived so far, I can survive until the end.

"Let's go, Ze. I'm ready," I say as I give him a decisive nod.

He stares at me intently as he takes my hand and leads me down a foggy path. It's only a matter of seconds before we're back to our starting point in P'davi. But the difference is the sky is dark, where before it was light.

Just how many hours was I trapped in there?

"We need to camp for the night," Ze declares in a rough tone.

He doesn't let go of my hand as he leads me back into the forest—to a place he scouted before. It's a rather remote area at the base of a mountain. There's even a small aperture inside the rock that we can use as shelter for the night.

After placing our bag on the floor, he sets about making a fire, all the while not exchanging one word with me. In fact, there's something entirely off about him as I catch him staring at me every now and then, his expression inscrutable. There's anger and irritation as if he'd like nothing but to strangle me on the spot. But there's also something akin to longing, as if he wants to tell me something but stops himself just short of uttering the words.

"I'm sorry." I take a deep breath, deciding to offer him an olive branch. "I should have stayed put. But you shouldn't have left me alone either," I point out.

He's sitting by the fire, polishing his sword. Slowly, he raises his gaze to me.

"I should not have left you alone." He gives me a nod before turning his attention back to his sword and ignoring me.

"Am I forgiven then? I'm sorry I jeopardized the team." I force a smile. My stunt not only would have cost me my life but also theirs. I belatedly realize how deep my foolishness ran.

He doesn't reply, merely releasing a guttural grunt, his eyes glued to his sword.

"Uhm... Did you see anything?" I muster the courage to ask.

He lifts one brow at me.

"You know... In the bathtub?" I swallow against the wave of embarrassment that grips me.

He watches me intently, the purple of his eyes darkening as he pins me with his stare.

"If you did, can you please forget that happened?"

He suddenly stabs his sword into the ground, his upper lip lifting to reveal sharp teeth bared at me.

"No," he rasps out, and a wave of purple energy blasts from his sword toward me, making me lose my balance and fall on my back. I blink slowly, confused about what's happening. Yet before I can say anything, he's by my side, lifting me up.

His lips are compressed in a hard line, his muscles bulging in his forearms.

He grips my shoulders tightly as he stares at me with a hardened expression the likes of which I have never seen before.

"Why him?" he demands in a barely subdued tone.

"What?" My lashes flutter in confusion.

His fingers dig into my skin. He clenches his jaw as veins protrude up his neck.

A rush of adrenaline goes down my back, my limbs suddenly weak in the face of danger.

"I don't understand you, Ze," I mumble weakly, pushing at his hands.

"Why him, human? Why does it have to be him?"