Chapter 45
FORTY-FIVE
"D on't tell me you're not hungry? Again ," I whisper at him. It's poor manners of him not to eat after barging into the dining hall and insinuating himself at our table.
He doesn't reply, appearing rather pensive as he picks up his fork and moves it across his plate.
Oh well, it's not as if this is the first time he's been rude, so I shouldn't bother too much—it's clear our hosts know it too since they don't pay him much attention.
Wyn starts talking about her ball, and soon the entire ensemble is too busy debating the latest fashions to notice Ze's fussiness about food.
I turn my attention to my plate, listening with one ear to the lively conversation at the table while I try each delicacy, setting aside those that are not to my liking.
"I still need to get fitted one last time for my midnight gown." Wyn sighs. "You will come with me, Thea, right?" she asks her sister enthusiastically. "You, too, Luce. Please." She flutters her lashes.
I nod. We have plenty of time before the third trial is announced.
"I would love to. I've already missed the other fittings." Thea smiles. "I can't wait to see you in that dress. It's going to be so special, Wyn." Her voice breaks.
"Don't get too emotional on me, sis. It's just a dress." Wyn chuckles, swatting Thea.
"It's not just a dress. It's the dress, Wyn. You've grown so much, darling." She sighs. "I cannot believe you're going to be an adult soon."
My lips stretch into a pleasant smile as I watch their sweet interaction. But a sudden flurry of movement from the side grabs my attention. Slowly turning, I catch Ze red-handed as he's swapping food from my plate to his.
I blink.
He blinks.
"What do you think you're doing?" I hiss at him in a low voice so as not to attract attention to us.
"Nothing," he quickly adds, straightening his back and placing his utensils next to his plate.
I narrow my eyes at him, then slowly glance down at my plate to see that the food I pushed aside has been swapped for the food I did like. At the same time, his plate is now filled with all the food I did not like.
My eyes connect with his, and he's still sporting the same innocent expression as he pretends to mind his own business. I glare at him so as to convey that these little tricks will not work on me—not after everything that's been said and done.
"You will not get extra points," I mutter under my breath.
Alas, it's at that moment that I get the first reaction out of him. His face falls, his shoulders slumping ever so slightly.
God, what is it with him and those extra points?
Shaking my head, I turn to my food, cutting into a slice of cheese when he once more intervenes.
"Let me do it for you," he murmurs, his hand already on mine as he attempts to wrench the knife away from me.
Annoyance spears through me as I elbow him away.
"For God's sake, just let me eat in peace," I groan, grabbing onto the knife. His grip is stronger, though, and in our tug of war, the knife slips, the sharp edge cutting through my palm.
"Agh." I jump back at the sudden sting.
Blood pours down onto the table, and Ze's eyes become affixed to it. Slowly, he raises his gaze to meet mine, a stricken look crossing his face.
"Oh no, are you all right, Luce?" Thea gasps.
Everyone is staring at us.
"Yes, it's just a small cut." I force a smile as I get a napkin to press to my cut. It's shallow, but it's bleeding quite a bit. "If you'll excuse me, I think I'll retire for the evening."
"Yes, of course," Rhea adds with a hint of worry. "Please let us know if there is anything you need."
I give her a tight nod as I get to my feet. I don't even look at Ze as I stomp out of the room, all the while muttering expletives under my breath.
That damn man! Couldn't he keep his hands to himself?
I barely reach the landing on the second floor when I hear the echo of steps following behind me. Slowly turning my head, I only need to glimpse the shadow of a giant to know who's following me. At once, I sprint to my room.
The steps, too, become more punctuated, more loud.
He's gaining ground.
Damn it! Why can't he leave me alone?
I dash to my room, get inside, and lock the door behind me. My breathing is out of control as I rest my back against the wooden frame of the door, pressing the napkin tighter against my injured palm. Despite being a shallow cut, it stings like hell.
The steps finally stop as he reaches my door.
"Human," Ze thunders. "Open up."
"Go away, Ze," I call out.
"You are injured. Open the door."
"I can take care of myself, Ze. Just leave me alone. You've done enough," I grit my teeth.
Silence greets me, but he's far from gone as I hear a deep intake of air.
"You did not finish eating," he says, his voice softer.
"So? Whose fault is that?" I grumble.
"I have chocolate."
My ears perk up.
"Ch-chocolate?" I clear my throat.
I did not eat enough considering I've been famished since we arrived in Arche. And chocolate does sound nice. But it's also coming from my number one archnemesis, the insufferable Ze, whose name isn't even Ze.
"Yes. I have chocolate. The most expensive kind," he adds proudly.
Once more, my stomach betrays me, my mouth watering just thinking about the chocolate.
Why does this have to be my weakness? Well, chocolate and cute things. I couldn't say no to Belinda either.
I release a weary sigh, the battle ninety-nine percent lost.
And the last one percent is not strong enough to hold out against chocolate .
Before I can think with the more developed part of my brain—the one that's not chasing the high of serotonin—I find myself opening the door and coming face to face with Ze.
Azerius, not Ze, I mentally correct myself.
I still can't wrap my mind around how different he looks. Those symbols on his face change his entire countenance, and up close, they are even more terrifying.
There's a deadlier edge to him that wasn't there before—even when I thought him dangerous enough. This new perception of him might have something to do with the fact that he appears even bigger than before—so much so I barely reach the middle of his chest, and I'm wearing heels.
There's an icy current surrounding him, the air crackling and vibrating around him with a heavy energy.
I don't let myself get rattled, though, and, pushing my chin up, I stare him in the eye.
"So?" I raise a brow. "Where's my chocolate?"
"I shall give it to you if you let me treat your wound," he replies smoothly.
I narrow my eyes, scanning him up and down. There's no chocolate! I should have known he was lying.
With an annoyed huff, I push the door in his face—locking it for good measure. As I turn, however, I come face to face with him.
"No door can hold me, human. You should have realized this by now," he murmurs, his tone oddly soft.
I regard him with suspicion. He's planning something.
"You're being rude, Azerius ." I clear my throat.
His lips thin, his nostrils flaring.
"I am not being rude," he grits out. "I am being nice . I will heal you now."
He reaches for my injured palm, but I slap his hand aside.
"No one asked you. Please leave," I say as I move to the side and gesture toward the door. Or even better, he can use those disappearing skills of his to get the hell out of my room.
"It was my fault," he adds in a low voice, his eyes affixed to the red stain on the napkin I'm holding to my cut.
"I won't hold it against you." I roll my eyes. "You're absolved. Now you can go." I wave him to the door—again.
He doesn't move.
He's rooted to the spot as he stares at my hand.
"It will not take long," he murmurs, taking a step closer to me. "Just a moment."
"Ze, I said no. What do you not understand?"
"You are bleeding , human," he hisses.
"So? It's my business if I'm bleeding or not," I say, exasperated. "Why do you think I would let you anywhere near me after everything you've done?"
"Human," he grits out, coming closer.
"Stay away!" I move out of his reach, retreating deeper into the room. "You're rude and a liar, and I don't want anything to do with you," I tell him resolutely.
"When did I lie?" He swivels to stare me down.
"Really, Azerius?" I shake my head in disgust. "Are we going to pretend you didn't lie about that?"
"I..." He blinks. "I did not lie. I merely omitted the truth."
"And those tattoos?" I ask as I look him up and down. "You deceived me."
"You do not understand," he groans, still moving toward me.
"What is there to understand? That you're an awful person? Trust me, I already got that." I let out a bitter laugh.
He compresses his lips, his body taut.
"Everyone knows Azerius. No one knows Ze," he says as if that explains everything. "No one knows... that Ze."
"Well, it seems I don't know either, so please get out." I point toward the door.
"Human, stop being so stubborn and let me explain."
"What is there to explain? Thea told me what you've been threatening her with. I can't believe anyone would stoop that low." I sneer at him. "You are an awful man, Ze or Azerius or whoever you are. I thought there might be some good in you, but oh, I was sorely mistaken." I shake my head.
He frowns, tilting his head to the side.
"She told you?"
"That you would threaten her with something that would get her killed? Blackmail her, even? How could you?" I demand sharply.
"Erithea did it with her own hand and it is up to her to bear the consequences of her actions," he replies matter-of-factly.
My eyes widen at his nonchalance, anger spiking inside of me anew.
"You are vile . How could you shame her for something like that? And why? Because she's a woman? Because you have your fucked-up laws that look down on women?"
"I do not care whether she is a female or not. She broke the law. She?—"
"Do not say another word about my friend." I grind my teeth, poking my finger into his chest.
I don't know when he got this close, but we're now millimeters apart, both breathing hard as we stare at each other. My heart rate continues to go up at his proximity as I envision all the ways in which I'd make him pay—despite the fact that I know I don't stand a chance. Still, a girl's gotta dream. And right now, I'd like nothing better than to have some cool powers so I could zap his ass out of my room and out of my life if possible.
A twitch appears in his cheek as he stares at me, the purple of his eyes glinting dangerously. His muscles tense, his sheer force rippling through the air. There's a heaviness all around us—one that's making me lightheaded. But I will not back down. I will not let him see how much he unnerves me, not when he thrives on intimidation.
He takes a deep breath, his irises swirling a deeper purple.
"I will vow not to speak of her secret again. Would that do?"
I blink in surprise.
"You...would? Just like that?"
"If you will forgive me," he murmurs in a soft tone.
I gawk at him for a moment before I burst into laughter.
He frowns.
"Of course you'd want something in return." I shake my head. "Not everything in life is an exchange. If you want to do something, you do it because it is the right thing to do, not because you expect something in return. As far as forgiveness goes, you don't barter for it, you earn it."
And with that, I turn my back to him, going to the window and waiting for him to leave. Surely, if I ignore him long enough, he'll get tired of this and do his hocus-pocus thing out of my room.
Steps echo in the room, and in a matter of seconds, I feel him behind me.
Of course he wouldn't leave.
It's dark out, and the windows are semi-reflective. I raise my gaze to see his shadowy figure behind me, his hands in the air as he tentatively lowers them down on my shoulders.
"I vow to never speak of Erithea's secret again," he speaks in a low voice.
"Is that so?" I raise an unbelieving brow at him.
"A vow once spoken cannot be broken. I will not ask for anything in exchange."
I don't reply. It's the least he can do.
"Now will you allow me to heal you?"
I half turn to glare at him.
"You're impossible."
"And you are still bleeding," he says as he takes my injured hand in his, peeling away the napkin to reveal the messy cut. He trails his fingers over my palm, and I wince at the sensation.
He stops.
"I apologize," he murmurs, bringing my hand to his mouth. He closes his eyes, inhaling deeply before his tongue peeks out to lick the entire length of the wound. A shiver goes down my back and I swallow hard as I keep myself still. He parts his lips over my palm, sucking on the residual blood. But even as the wound closes, he continues to slowly lap at it.
"That's enough," I say as I pull my hand away. "Thanks," I mutter awkwardly.
"I do not like you bleeding," he adds quietly. "You will not bleed again under my watch."
"Sorry to break it to you, but I bleed once a month whether you like it or not," I mumble dryly.
His eyes flash at me.
"What?" he thunders. "How?"
Amusement plays at my lips as I watch outrage flood his features.
"It's called menstruation," I chuckle.
He's staring at me, unblinking.
"An adult female bleeds once a month. I doubt it's any different in your world." After all, it's not only a human trait. Other mammals menstruate, too.
"I am not entirely familiar, but goddesses have different constitutions," he adds pensively. "This does not harm you?"
"I get cranky and tired, but it doesn't harm me."
He nods, though he still appears troubled by the concept.
"How could you not know this, Ze? It's biology."
" Female biology. I do not care for females," he grumbles.
"So you've said." I stifle a smile. "But you do realize this is part of a female's reproductive cycle, no?"
He blinks slowly. His cheeks redden and he looks away.
"Of course I am aware," he mumbles, avoiding my eyes.
Awkward silence descends between us.
"Well, you've healed me. Now where's my chocolate?"
His eyes widen, and he disappears. Not a second passes before he reappears, carrying a plate on which there's a chocolate figurine.
A figurine of him . A chocolate Ze.
"Here," he declares proudly as he thrusts the plate toward me.
"You... This is you." I point to the chocolate shape then at him.
He nods, a satisfied smile on his face.
"I found the best chef in all Aperion and I instructed him to make me the best chocolate."
"You asked him to shape it like you, too?"
"Of course." He nods. "So you know I am in earnest."
"Azerius," I sigh.
"Ze," he corrects. "For you, I only want to be Ze."
My lashes flutter at him.
"Ze." I clear my throat. "I don't understand you."
"It is chocolate. You like chocolate," he adds uneasily.
"I do, and this is nice and all, but why? You already told me how little you think of me. Why would you care to bring me chocolate, or a cow, or do all this"—I wave my healed palm—"when it's clear you believe me to be beneath you?"
"What?" His eyes flare with shock. "I would never?—"
"You insulted me. Belittled me. Threatened me and my friends. Why are you trying to be nice now after you were so awful to me?"
"W-what?" he sputters. "I did not insult you. I insulted your actions."
"It's the same thing." I roll my eyes.
"No. It is not. I have told you. You are my person and I am responsible for you. That means I will ensure you make the best decisions. I cannot just sit by and watch you put yourself in danger for inane reasons."
"Ze... Is it so hard to apologize and admit you were wrong?"
"But I was not wrong," he argues, tipping his chin up.
"Please leave." I take a deep breath.
He's rooted to the spot, staring at me.
"I'm tired and I want to sleep. Please leave."
He doesn't move. He doesn't blink. He just stares at me.
God, this man is impossible! I don't understand him and I don't think I want to at this point.
"I..." He inhales a few times, placing his hands behind his back and straightening his spine. "I apologize if I offended you. It was not my intention to do so. I will weigh my words more carefully in the future."
"Good. Now you can go." I nod as I bypass him.
"Does that mean you will forgive me?" he asks eagerly as he trails behind me.
I close my eyes and count to ten in an attempt to calm myself and not rage at him.
"You have apologized, but that doesn't mean I'm required to accept your apology," I explain, and his face falls.
"But... I apologized," he whispers.
"You also need to show me you mean it, Ze. Words are easy. It is actions that are hard."
"But—"
"I really want to go to bed. Can you please go?"
He takes a deep breath, his shoulders slumping. Finally, he heads to the door. But just as I think he's going to leave quietly, he stops, his hand on the knob.
"Have a good sleep, Luce," he whispers in a barely audible voice.
Then he's gone.
I exhale deeply, my gaze finding the odd chocolate figurine.
Well, at least he brought me chocolate.
I plop myself on the bed and study the Ze-shaped figurine. It truly looks like him, down to the arrogance etched in his features. This version doesn't have the tattoos, though, and his hair is shorter—as I've gotten to know him. His clothes are simple, a shirt and a pair of pants, and his sword is sheathed at his hip.
A mischievous smile plays at my lips. Grabbing the figurine, I bite the head off, munching on the delicious chocolate and silently laughing at the now headless Ze.
Take that, you impossible man!