Chapter 46
FORTY-SIX
"A re you sure it's okay for me to come along?" I ask Thea as we make our way down the stairs to meet with Wyn and accompany her to her gown fitting. It's early in the morning, and after a full night of sleep, I finally feel more like myself. Of course, I can't deny the slight disappointment I felt last night when Nikki didn't show up, but I trust that he'll make himself known to me when he can.
"Of course it is. Wyn likes you, and she's thrilled we're going to spend a girls' day out. She already planned the itinerary for today, and after the fitting, we're going to grab sweet ices from our favorite shop."
"That sounds heavenly. Thank you," I murmur with a smile.
"She's so excited about the ball. It's going to be a success, I already know it—much better than mine was, anyway," she adds, rolling her eyes.
"That bad?"
"Worse." She sighs. "Barely any people showed up. It was just my parents' friends, but no one my age. Later, I found out they had organized another secret party at the same time to spite me."
"What?" My eyes widen. "Why would they do that?"
"Because why would they not?" She shrugs. "I guess they didn't see me as an equal. I wasn't exactly the best in my elementary training." She lets out a strained laugh.
"I'm sorry," I murmur as I reach for her, squeezing her hand.
"It's fine. I've had over three thousand years to forget about it."
"I don't think I'll ever get used to the way you guys casually speak about thousands of years. I'm barely an embryo compared to you," I joke, hoping to lighten the atmosphere.
"It's mutual, trust me." She laughs. "It's hard to wrap my mind around how little humans live..." she trails off as she suddenly stops, her brows bunched together in a frown.
She puts a hand up before placing a finger on her lips to tell me to be silent.
Tilting her head to the side, she looks deep in thought before a smile tugs at her lips, the tension from her shoulders dissipating.
"I'll have to make a small detour. Do you mind if you wait for me for a while? Wyn just got her first ryoku and she's freaking out."
"She got what?" I blink, but she's already walking away from me.
"It's her first ability," she says with a bright smile. "Feel free to roam around. There's a library at the end of that hall. You can have a look while I take care of Wyn."
"Sure." I nod.
"Great!" She exclaims, almost hopping with joy. "We'll join you in the library in a bit," she calls out, already at the bottom of the stairs.
I shake my head at her with an amused smile on my face. I'm still a little confused by what she meant by ryoku , but it must be something important if Thea is so happy about it. Truthfully, their relationship warms my heart, and for a moment, I just stare at her departing figure with a wistful expression on my face.
Family.
The most important thing in the world. And humans are not the only ones to prioritize it. In a way, it makes the concept of deities less daunting to realize they have the same fears and desires as us mortals.
They might have powers beyond belief, but deep down, they also love and want to be loved.
Well, except Ze. He operates entirely outside that sphere.
The mere notion of a library gets me giddy, though, and turning toward the hall, I wander from door to door until I find the library Thea mentioned—although library is a bit of an understatement. The room is the size of a football field!
The door opens and I step inside, my heart beating wildly in my chest, a hum of excitement building in my stomach.
Wow.
I should have guessed that a palace such as this would house a grand library too.
The shelves are ceiling high—and considering the ceiling is over four meters in height, that says everything. The walls are entirely filled with bookshelves, with a few rows on either side, too. In the middle of the room, there's a spiraling staircase made out of marble that leads to a second floor. All around, there are tables with book weights on them, almost as if this were a study hall.
As I close the door behind me, I walk inside, brushing my palm against a massive oak table. I swallow hard in an attempt to temper my excitement and not run around like a kid in a candy shop.
This is fabulous.
Better than chocolate—okay, maybe not better, but equal... almost
equal.
I look right and left, not knowing where to start my exploration. But there's only one thought that permeates my mind.
Do deities have romance novels?
If I were to make an educated guess, if they do have them, they are going to be mostly censored. After all, with everything I've heard about their world, even talking about sex is taboo. Of course, that would reflect in the literature.
A giggle escapes me.
Who would have thought that gods would have banned books? Yet it just goes to show that even when one has limitless resources, boundaries must still exist to allow for society to function and avoid mayhem. Maybe because they have limitless powers, they have to ensure that everything is carefully organized and curated.
If there's something that I've noticed so far about Aperion, it's the fact that it's not that different from my own world—they still rely on power structures. Maybe they're not as concerned with colorism or social class based on the people I've met so far, but they're definitely judging others by their abilities—or lack thereof. Even Thea, who is from a noble family, has encountered this issue, with people constantly putting her down because of her limited powers. In fact, social standing seems to be correlated with the abilities one has.
"Welcome, what can I help you with today?"
I jump back, startled by the sudden voice. Looking left and right, I don't see anyone around.
My brows furrow.
"Who's there?" I ask tentatively.
"I am Nigel, the librarian," the voice replies at the same time as a see-through figure materializes on top of the table.
I scramble back, my eyes wide.
"What?" I squeak in surprise.
A floating torso appears in front of me. His face is somewhat humanoid, but it lacks expressivity. The entire body is a shimmery white, and the only dot of color is his dark eyes.
"What are you?" I whisper.
"I am Nigel. The librarian. I am a wraith in charge of the Duke of Sigmore's library collection."
"Oh," I murmur, blinking rapidly as I take in the information.
Okay, this makes sense. They don't have computers to catalogue everything, so they would need someone—or something—to do it. And from what I remember from the wraiths in the game, they are similar to a programmed algorithm with no mind of their own. Just like Siri.
"What can I help you with today?" Nigel repeats.
"Hm." I take a moment to think. "Do you have any romance novels?" I ask sheepishly.
"I am not familiar with that term. Can you rephrase it?"
"Stories about love?"
"I am not familiar with that term. Can you rephrase it?"
What? Seriously? I can understand them not having romance as a genre, but stories about love?
"Stories where two people fall in love?"
"I am not familiar with that term. Can you rephrase it?"
Not one to give up, I try every combination I can think of. Yet the result is the same. Nigel does not know what I mean, which suggests that likely he wasn't trained with this terminology in the first place.
It's not too surprising that this world wouldn't have romance, but somehow I still hoped there might be something. Damn it, but the more I find out about this place, the more hopeless I become.
If gods have no notion of romance, then how do humans have it? We were modeled after deities. It stands to reason our capacity to love would come from them, too. But maybe these gods have been around for so long they've completely forgotten the meaning of love—after all, their marriages are all about power, nothing more.
"Do you have any books on The Wishing Game?" I ask instead. If I won't be able to find something to pass the time, I might as well do some research on the game.
"Yes, of course," Nigel answers. With a flick of his hand, a yellow shimmer envelops a bookcase on the second floor. "That is the selection of books we have on The Wishing Game. If you need further assistance, call my name and I shall be happy to guide you."
"Thank you." I nod.
His figure dissipates and I'm left alone in the library.
The bookshelf on the second floor still emits a low light, and I climb up the stairs before the beacon fades. Reaching the landing on the second floor, I stop in front of the section Nigel had pointed to and I browse the titles.
I'm surprised to be able to read the language perfectly, but then I'm reminded that the brew likely infused me with that ability.
Some of the books are about the rules of the game, while others are records of previous games and winners. I take a few of them out and lay them on the floor as I sift through them, thinking I can find some information that might help me in the third trial.
As I read, however, it becomes clear that each edition of the game has different trials. Not one trial appears to have been used twice.
I release a heavy sigh as I turn to the rules of the competition. One thing I've been exceedingly curious about so far has been what happens to the souls of the people who die during the game. It stated that the souls of the losers would forfeit their chances at future incarnations. But what happens to them? Do they just disappear? Where do they go?
I flip through the book, reading each line carefully, but as I reach that rule, the only additional mention I can find is that the energy from the deceased souls is used as fuel, but it doesn't specify for what.
I nibble on my bottom lip as I go back to the bookshelf, scanning more of the titles until I find a book on the first edition of The Wishing Game.
Cracking it open, I read the introduction.
After a series of debilitating daimon attacks, the Ananke Supreme Lyonas sacrificed his energy to enforce the weakening boundaries between the worlds. But as this scribe has witnessed in his eight thousand years of life, not even a Supreme's energy can hold up indefinitely.
The other Supremes became aware that they would either need to sacrifice one of their own every few thousand years, or they could find another source of energy that could continuously feed the boundaries.
Each Supreme brought forth a proposition, but none proved to be sustainable in the long run. That was until Lyonas's granddaughter and the favored candidate for the new Ananke Supreme, Lispera, came up with an idea.
Souls are the purest energy in the universe. It stands to reason that they could power the boundaries and keep them from collapsing. But a soul's cycle belongs to Psyche. It is not something that can be influenced, not even by a god. Yet Lispera found a loophole that not even Psyche could dispute. As long as the soul gave its consent and sacrificed itself, then its energy could be used to enforce the boundaries.
The Supremes were intrigued by the idea, but they did not know how they would find a soul to sacrifice itself, for that sacrifice meant utter oblivion. More than that, one soul's energy, though powerful, could not possibly feed the boundary indefinitely.
But Lispera came through again with another proposition. Souls may choose to sacrifice themselves in exchange for an opportunity to have their deepest desire fulfilled. If the Supremes joined their powers to bestow a boon upon a lucky winner, creatures from all corners of the universe would clamor for a chance to participate in such a competition.
The Supremes debated this topic for many years before they reached a consensus. They would hold a game for all the mortal creatures of the universe, and the winners would get the chance to have one wish fulfilled. But to participate, each creature had to consent to the fact that by losing, they would be forfeiting their souls.
As the boundaries between the worlds started to weaken again, it was time to organize The Wishing Game.
This is the account of the first Wishing Game that this scribe has witnessed with his own eyes. All the events that follow are true, and they bear the seal of approval from the Supremes.
I swallow hard as I put two and two together. Demons were recently sighted in the intermediary realms. Does that mean the boundaries are weakening again? Despite the ongoing Wishing Game?
I flip the pages of the book in search of more information, but the rest is merely an account of each trial and the favorite contestants. It's only at the end that I read about the winner and his wish. He asked for the hand in marriage of one of the Supremes, something clearly not done because the wish had been denied and the winner had been convicted and jailed for his offense—for it seems to have been an offense to even aspire to be with a Supreme.
There isn't much else in the book, so I turn my attention to others. Yet they all follow the same format. There is the exact same introduction after which the game is described in detail, almost as if the scribe was a sports commentator giving his opinions on his favorite teams.
"Nigel?" I call out, and the wraith materializes in front of me. "Is there anything more about The Wishing Game in here?"
"This is the only section that houses books on The Wishing Game," he replies in that monotone voice of his. The bookshelf is illuminated again as he points toward it.
"I see. Thank you."
"Are you finished with those books?" He points to the mess I made on the floor.
"Yes." I nod tentatively.
Before I can blink, all the open books close with a thud before levitating in the air and taking back their spot on the shelf—in the perfect order.
Okay, Nigel is far better than any computer.
"Do you require further assistance?"
"Do you have anything on Ze—Azerius?" I ask before I can help myself.
"Are you inquiring about Commander Azerius?"
"Uhm, yes."
A couple of bookshelves over, a few books light up.
"That is the selection of books we have on Commander Azerius. If you need further assistance, call my name and I shall be happy to guide you."
"Thank you," I murmur, getting up and heading to the designated shelf.
The wraith disappears. I pull out the books and spread them on the floor, making myself comfortable.
A low hum erupts in my stomach—a certain excitement at learning more about the mysterious figure that is Ze, because honestly, I do not understand him. He can be vile and mean, but he can also be nice and...considerate. I don't even know which one is the real Ze anymore because despite everything I've heard, he's been mostly nice to me. Last night is a main example. He surprised me with his apology, but even more so with his vow. And if it's true that a vow once spoken cannot be broken, then Thea no longer has to worry about his threat hanging over her head. I shall have to impart that with her later on when we are alone. Maybe it will ease some of her worries.
The first book is titled Military History . As I flip through it, I realize it's a history of battles in which Azerius has fought over the past four thousand years. It mostly describes military tactics, something I'm not well versed in, so I put it aside.
It's the second book, though, that catches my attention. It's titled Prosecuted Offenses and from what I can tell, it spans a hundred years. There is an index at the end, and my eyes widen when I see how many times the name Azerius has been mentioned in the book—five thousand times.
I quickly flip to the first mention, which details the case of a minor male deity having an affair with a number of s’Aperiotes and getting them all pregnant. The punishment had been death, and Azerius had been the one to dole it out. The details are gruesome as the book goes into depth on everything Ze had done to the male for his offense. He'd been strapped to a pole in the public square for thirty days. Each day, Azerius would be present to make a cut on his body. At first, it was shallow cuts, but with each passing day, they became deeper and deeper until his entire torso was cut open, his organs spilling out. He was left in the blistering sun, his blood draining from his body, until he drew his last breath.
Although the description is incredibly gory in the book, it's how Azerius is described that surprises me. The writer notes that he was so cold, so emotionless, that the people passing by couldn't help but be more shocked by his nonchalant demeanor than the guts hanging out of the male's body.
I gulp down. This is oddly reminiscent, isn't it? I've seen that side of Azerius when he kills. He does it so easily, so efficiently, it's almost as if there's nothing inside of him but the thirst for death.
Flipping some more through the book, I stop at a random page, my entire body freezing as I read the offense. A young female deity had been denounced by her husband for not being pure upon their marriage. After investigations, it was found out that the female had birthed a child in the past that she had abandoned. A s’Aperiote family had found the baby and they had raised him as their own. The female was convicted of several crimes, and because she belonged to an influential noble family, Azerius was the one to dole out the punishment.
I briefly close my eyes, reluctant to read on about what he must have done to her. I have never been able to stomach violence against women, and though this female did break the law, I cannot see how death is a fair punishment. Sure, she abandoned her child, but she was driven to do so by the same stringent laws that sought to sentence her to death. It's a vicious cycle whose only fault lies with the restrictions placed on people.
My breathing grows labored as I force myself to read on. No matter how uncomfortable this is, I need to know who the true Azerius is.
Yet there's no avoiding the illustration of Ze aiming his sword at the woman's head, a swirl of energy and smoke surrounding his blade.
Decapitation.
That is the method he used on her. That is the method he would have used on Thea.
Good grief.
He was the executor of every high-profile case, thousands in total over a hundred-year period—a bleep in their existence. I don't even want to think of how many people he's executed in his seven thousand years of life. He probably doesn't have a number either, since all this killing is routine for him.
My eyes are glued to the pages as I skim over the many gruesome ways in which Ze delivered death to those people and I can't help but wonder if he has a conscience. Does he regret this? Do these deaths weigh on his conscience?
How can he sleep at night?
Yet the questions are moot since he already confessed he doesn't feel. He merely receives his orders and follows them—the perfect soldier.
The perfect killer .
Because that's what he is, isn't it?
A killing machine, and not just a regular one. He's a God Killer—a moniker given to him not only by the author of the book but by the entirety of Aperion.
The sudden noise of a door opening startles me, as well as the voices that grow louder. I close the book and slide to the floor, creeping closer to the balustrade to see who it is—the last thing I want is to be caught researching the God Killer.
An unknown man takes a seat at the table just as Nigel materializes in front of him.
"You are dismissed, Nigel," Maros tells the wraith as he follows behind. Ze is next, closing the door behind him. His hands are behind his back as he scans the room with disinterest.
Maros takes a seat across from the other man while Ze continues to pace around.
"I am sorry to call on you at this hour, Your Majesty, but Commander Azerius stated it was urgent," Maros informs him.
Majesty? So that is the king?
Even more reason why I should not be found here.