Chapter Ninety-One
We did not make love that evening but rather returned to watch the fighting.
It was a far more even match than the women had hoped, with the Gargareans beating just over half of them.
Perhaps surprisingly, I was pleased by this outcome.
Had the women won all their fights on the first day, they may have doubted my reasons for bringing them.
This way, they knew the men were worthy opponents.
The fighting was followed by festivities—dancing, feasting, and, in several cases, women disappearing with their sparring partners to continue their personal entertainment.
That night, Cleon held me in his arms, and we lay together as the flickering stars drifted in and out of view behind the clouds. I told him of the battles we had fought, the men we had beaten. He told me of the same and of the new men who had joined them.
It was after dawn once he had ridden with me, his arms tight around my waist as we sat upon Erebus and galloped across the plains, that we stopped by a small stream and finally enjoyed each other’s body to the fullest.
The act, though I would not have believed it possible, was more precious and exhilarating than the last time we had met.
Perhaps it was that time had passed, and we had missed each other.
Perhaps it was the loss of our child that caused a bond greater than the meeting of flesh.
Or perhaps it was not past longing or pain that made the sensations so intense but the future ones.
All those years we had envisioned with each other, meeting, laughing, loving, would never come to pass.
So during those last days together, Cleon and I made love not only for the past but for the future.
The moon passed quicker than I could have dreamed, and the women gained more from their time than I could have hoped. I gained from the time there too. I gained in strength, in leadership skills, in respect from the women and the men. Still, it was difficult to tell if it was more than I lost.
The morning we were due to leave, Cleon found me packing my belongings into the satchels that hung on Erebus.
He stood close enough to touch me, though he did not.
Instead, his fists were clenched at his sides as if he had to hold himself in place.
Several comments whirred around in my mind, yet none seemed appropriate to voice, so I remained silent.
Cleon was the one who had come to find me.
Hopefully, he had words enough for the both of us.
I was ready to mount when he finally spoke.
“You will forgive me if I am traveling the next time you and your women arrive?” he said.
I turned to face him. His face was creased with deep frown lines that aged him so harshly, I could barely see that young man I had met in Ninniya all those years before.
“You have decided such a thing already?” I said.
“I believe it will be easier that way. Do you not?”
I pondered the question only momentarily before I replied.
“No, I do not. I may not be able to lie with you, but I can fight with you. That might almost suffice.”
He let out a low chuckle. “Sadly, Otrera, I do not believe it will.”
So many words raced through my mind, so many words of loyalty and love, of apologies and gratitude, yet all seemed trite. In the end, I said all that I was able to.
“Then this must be goodbye, Cleon,” I said.
Those were the last words we ever spoke to each other.