Chapter 23
Chapter
Twenty-Three
By the time Simon made it back to Viktor's apartment building, his pills had fully kicked in. The city's assault of smells—garbage, exhaust, humans—became manageable background noise. Even the persistent pull in his chest that had led him to Charlie on that rooftop had gone quiet.
Good. He didn't need distractions.
He'd been given only twelve more hours to eliminate his target. He had eleven left now. The math was simple. His job was simple.
So why was he standing outside Viktor's door, unable to knock?
Because he still had not been able to de-mask Charlie. He had no proof that the vampire was just a predator putting on an act like Reuben claimed.
He had to see the truth with his own eyes before he could stake Charlie with a clear conscience.
He would get to the truth.
His knuckles rapped against the door before he could second-guess himself again.
"It's open," Viktor called from inside.
Simon turned the handle, stepped into the apartment, and stopped.
Viktor sat cross-legged on the floor, holding a piece of carrot. He was making soft clicking sounds with his tongue, the kind people used to coax frightened animals.
"Come on," Viktor murmured to something behind the couch. "I know you like vegetables, and it's red."
"What are you doing?"
Viktor looked up, and Simon had never seen him trying so hard not to laugh. "We have a situation."
"Where's Charlie?"
Viktor pointed behind the couch. "That's the situation."
Simon moved closer, looked over the furniture, and felt his carefully reconstructed worldview crack all over again.
A rabbit sat huddled against the wall. Brown fur, enormous eyes, ears flat against its head in obvious distress. It was pressed into the corner like it was trying to become one with the drywall.
"Tell me that's not…"
"Oh, it is." Viktor stood, still holding the vegetable. "He shifted about an hour ago. We wanted to figure out his animal form and well…" He gestured helplessly. "Rabbit."
Simon stared at the rabbit. The rabbit stared back with its impossibly innocent, and slightly panicked, eyes.
"Change him back," Simon said.
"Can't. We've tried everything." Viktor waved the carrot again. "Meditation, visualization, I even tried startling him with a loud noise. Nothing works."
"He's stuck?"
"Completely." Viktor set the carrot on the coffee table. "Turns out shifting is easier than un-shifting. Who knew?"
The rabbit made a small, pathetic sound. Its nose twitched.
Simon's hands clenched. This was ridiculous. He'd come here to confront a vampire, to prove Charlie was dangerous, and instead he was looking at something that belonged in a petting zoo.
"How is this even possible?" The words came out sharp, accusatory. "Vampires don't turn into prey animals."
"That's what I said." Viktor shrugged. "But here we are. I think it's actually kind of fitting, considering—"
"It's not fitting. It's wrong." Simon stepped around the couch. The rabbit pressed itself flatter against the wall. "Vampires are predators. All of them."
"Simon."
"Even the weak ones. Even the new ones." His voice rose despite himself. He couldn't allow for exceptions. If there were exceptions…
If vampires could be different…
Could Simon have been different?
Was there never any point to all the suffering he—
No, he refused to let the thought take hold.
Simon crouched down in front of the rabbit. The animal's ears drooped lower. Somehow, even in animal form, Charlie managed to look apologetic.
That made it worse.
"Change back," Simon commanded, knowing his voice did not come out kind. "Now."
The rabbit went completely still.
For a heartbeat, nothing happened. Then Charlie's small body began to shudder. The air around him shimmered like heat waves rising from asphalt. Fur receded, limbs stretched, and in a matter of seconds, Charlie was human again.
Naked. On Viktor's floor. Curled on his side with his knees drawn up, one arm wrapped around his middle.
Simon's gaze caught on the vulnerable curve of Charlie's spine, the way his shoulder blades jutted out like bird wings. His skin was pale except where the healing burns had left faint pink marks. He looked soft. Breakable. Nothing like the monsters Simon hunted.
Nothing like a monster at all.
Simon grabbed the throw blanket from the couch and tossed it over Charlie, covering him completely. Too roughly, maybe, but he needed Charlie covered.
Needed to stop seeing all that soft skin.
"Thanks," Charlie mumbled from under the blanket, pulling it tighter around himself. His voice came out small. "I'm sorry. I tried to change back but I couldn't remember how to be human."
"How do you not remember how to be human?" The words came out harsher than Simon intended.
Charlie's head emerged from the blanket, hair sticking up wildly. "I don't know. It's like... once I was a rabbit, I could only think rabbit thoughts? And rabbits don't really think about being human."
Viktor returned with sweatpants and a t-shirt, which he handed to Charlie. "At least you didn't get stuck as something worse."
"What's worse than being a prey animal?" Simon asked.
Charlie pulled the shirt on under the blanket, obviously trying to maintain some dignity despite everything. "A goldfish?"
Viktor snorted. "Fair point."
Simon watched Charlie struggle into the sweatpants while still wrapped in the blanket, managing to nearly fall over twice in the process.
This was the vampire his boss wanted dead in—Simon checked his phone—ten hours and forty-three minutes. This ridiculous creature who got stuck as a rabbit and wondered if goldfish might be worse.
"Stand up," Simon ordered.
Charlie scrambled to his feet, the blanket falling away. Viktor's clothes hung loose on his frame. The t-shirt collar gaped, showing prominent collarbones.
"Did I do something wrong?" Charlie asked, that familiar anxiety creeping into his voice. "Besides the rabbit thing."
"You exist wrong." The words escaped before Simon could stop them.
Charlie flinched like Simon had hit him.
"Simon." Viktor's voice carried a warning.
But Simon couldn't stop now. The pills had dulled his senses but sharpened something else—a desperate need to do his job, and a desperate need for the world to make sense again. For vampires to be monsters and hunters to be heroes and the line between them to be clear.
"You're supposed to be dangerous." Simon stepped closer. Charlie stepped back. "You're supposed to be a threat."
"I'm sorry?" Charlie's back hit the wall. The same wall he'd been pressed against as a rabbit.
"Stop apologizing."
"I—" Charlie's mouth snapped shut, eyes going wide. A muscle in his jaw twitched like he was fighting to speak.
Interesting. So even on the pills, Simon could compel the fledgling he'd never wanted to claim.
"You can talk," Simon said, testing.
"What's happening?" Charlie's voice came out thin. "Why couldn't I—when you said—"
"Simon." Viktor moved closer, understanding dawning on his face. "Don't do this."
Simon ignored him. All his focus narrowed to the infuriating creature before him, who was still pressed against the wall like he thought he could phase through it if he tried hard enough.
"Tell me truthfully what you think about when you see humans."
Charlie's answer was immediate, compelled: "I wonder if they're happy. If they're tired. Sometimes I make up stories about where they're going." His eyes widened at his own words. "I didn't mean to say that."
"What about their blood?"
"I try not to think about it." Charlie licked his lips. "But when I do, I feel guilty. Like I'm betraying them by noticing they're alive."
This wasn't right. Forced to spill his secrets, Charlie should be revealing predatory instincts. Hunting strategies. The truth beneath the act.
But there was no act. There was only this soft-looking boy with eyes the color of chocolate and no sense of self-preservation.
Simon's chest tightened.
"Tell me what you really are." His voice came out rougher now.
Charlie's face crumpled. "I don't understand what you want. This is what I am. I'm sorry it's not—" His breath hitched. "I'm sorry I'm not what you need me to be."
"Didn't I tell you to stop apologizing?"
"I can't!" Charlie's voice cracked. "I can't stop being sorry for existing wrong. Is that what you want to hear? That I know I'm a disappointment? That I'm a failed vampire and a failed human and I don't fit anywhere?"
The words rang hollow. Charlie's eyes were bright with unshed tears, his whole body trembling against the wall.
Viktor stepped closer. "That's enough."
"No." Simon didn't look at him. Couldn't look away from the man who was turning his whole world upside down. "It's not enough."
Reuben's voice echoed in his memory: They're all the same underneath.
They had to be. Because if they weren't… If Charlie was exactly what he appeared to be…
What did that make the hundred and seventeen dust piles Simon had left behind?
"Tell me about the last time you wanted to hurt someone," Simon commanded.
Charlie blinked, confused. "I... I can't remember."
"You can't remember?"
"No, I mean…" Charlie's brow furrowed, like he was searching through his memories. "I don't think I've wanted to hurt anyone. Not even..." He swallowed. "Not even the vampire who turned me. I just wanted him to come back. To explain what was happening to me."
Simon's hands clenched into fists. This was wrong. All wrong.
"When you're hungry," he pressed, "when you need blood, what do you think about?"
"You." The word escaped before Charlie could stop it, and his face went red. "I mean, your blood. It's the only thing that doesn't make me sick. I think about how it tastes like comfort and I hate myself for wanting it because you don't, you didn't, I mean, you never wanted—"
"Stop."
Charlie's mouth snapped shut, but his eyes were still talking. Wide and brown and so painfully human despite everything.