Chapter 33
Chapter
Thirty-Three
JENNY
I wake up to the steady rise and fall of his chest beneath my cheek, his heartbeat a quiet, reassuring rhythm in the sunset silence. His arm is still draped over me, the weight of it grounding and protective. For a moment, I let myself sink into the warmth of him, my eyes tracing the curve of his jaw, the faint shadow of stubble catching the soft light filtering through the curtains. His beauty is staggering, almost unreal. He looks at peace, so different from the intensity he radiates when awake.
But then the reality of what just happened crashes over me, and my chest tightens. This is too much. Too close. Too raw. I tell myself it’s just the afterglow, the lingering haze of pleasure blurring my thoughts, but deep down, I know better. This isn’t just about the sex…though that was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. It’s about him, and the way he makes me feel. Vulnerable. Exposed. Seen.
I can’t let that happen.
Sliding carefully out from under his arm, I move as quietly as I can, trying not to wake him. My dress is crumpled on the floor, a stark reminder of how this night started, and as I slip it back on, I feel the weight of every decision pressing down on me.
When I turn back to look at him, he’s awake, his eyes dark and watchful. He props himself up on one elbow, the sheet slipping down to reveal the planes of his chest. His gaze pins me in place, and for a moment, neither of us speaks.
“Leaving already?” His voice is low, rough from sleep, and it sends a shiver down my spine.
I force a smile, hoping it hides the turmoil churning inside me. “I should go. I need to… think.”
He sits up fully now, the sheet pooling around his waist, his expression unreadable. “About what?”
“About this,” I say, gesturing vaguely between us.
“And what about this?” he asks.
I actually think of an answer for this, but an entire minute passes, and nothing forms in my brain except cobwebs.
And so, I just state exactly what I want to.
“I… I’m thinking that this is okay because we’re both adults, Zack. And w-we have… needs. So… this can work as just what it is. It doesn’t have to mean anything more than that.”
My stomach twists so painfully at this, but I console myself with the fact that this is the truth. I tell myself I’m just getting emotional and lost in the intensity of the current moment, which is why I’m being this blunt…so clear lines can be drawn for both me and him. It will be better for everybody.
The way he stares at me, though, makes me want to dig a hole and slide myself into it forever. But I strengthen my resolve to go this route.
I want Brett, and this has been a conviction of mine since I was too young to even know what love was. Zack, though alluring, is cold, while Brett…with his warmth…has been what I’ve been drawn to from the very start. So, I have to test myself and not get distracted by someone like Zack.
Plus, I imagine Zack should be comfortable with this arrangement. He’s someone who especially deals with transactions, so he should take this as one as well.
His jaw tightens, but he nods slowly, his gaze never leaving mine. “Is that what you want?”
“It’s what makes sense,” I say, my voice firmer than I feel. “We can keep things simple. No strings. Just… this.”
There’s a long pause, the tension in the room thick enough to choke on. When he finally speaks, his tone is calm, almost detached, but there’s an edge to it that I can’t quite place. “Alright. If that’s what you want.”
Relief floods through me, but it’s short-lived as he adds, “But if this is going to be just sex, Jenny, then it goes both ways. No rules. No boundaries. If you’re going to use me, I’ll do the same to you.”
My breath catches, and I blink at him, stunned. “What… what does that mean?”
“It means you don’t get to deprive me when you feel like it,” he says, his gaze sharp and unyielding. “You can’t decide when or where this happens. If you want this arrangement, then you have to be all in.”
His words hang in the air like a challenge, and I can feel my pulse racing. The idea of giving up that kind of control terrifies me, but the thought of walking away from him completely terrifies me even more.
“That sounds… dangerous,” I say quietly, my voice wavering despite my best efforts to sound composed.
A faint smile tugs at the corner of his lips, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “It is. But it’s not. It’s just business.”
I’d thought setting this agreement in place would make me feel better and more in control, but instead, it suddenly feels like all the warmth in my chest rushes out of my body, replaced by a frightening chill.
I don’t know what to say to that, so I don’t say anything. I just nod, my throat tight, and turn to leave. But as I reach the door, something makes me pause. The sight of him, bathed in the golden glow of the setting sun, his bare chest rising and falling with every breath, is enough to make my heart stutter. He looks unguarded, achingly beautiful, and for a moment, I wonder if I’m making a mistake.
“Jenny,” he says softly, and the sound of my name on his lips is enough to break me.
I turn back to face him, my resolve wavering. “Alright,” I say finally, the words feeling like a surrender. “I’m in.”
The smile he gives me then is slow and deliberate, and it makes my stomach flip. “Good,” he says. “See you later, then.”
And just like that, he settles back into the bed, adjusts his position, and closes his eyes to sleep.
The next few days, I truly begin to understand what he’d meant, and even though, in the moment, it’s everything I want, that feeling of losing complete control creeps back in, stronger and more unsettling.
The first instance comes a few days later, on the balcony.
The air was crisp, tinged with the scent of rain lingering from earlier in the evening. The city lights below twinkled like scattered jewels, indifferent to what was about to unfold. I had been sitting inside, trying to read to allay my anxiety over when and if he would ever talk to me again.
And then he’d come over and tugged the book from my hands, setting it aside without a word. His presence loomed over me, commanding without effort, and when he held out his hand, I took it…hesitantly at first. I wasn’t sure where this would go, but before I could think too much about it, he guided me toward the open balcony doors. The cool wind kissed my skin as I stepped out, the night enveloping us in its quiet intimacy.
“Zack…” I started, unsure of what to say, but he silenced me with a look. That dark, smoldering gaze of his had me pinned, and my breath hitched when he turned me around to face the railing.
“This is what I want,” he’d murmured, his voice low and rough against my ear. His hands settled on my hips, firm but not forceful, as if giving me a chance to stop this before it started. But I didn’t. I couldn’t.
Before I knew it, I was bent over the cool metal of the railing, the city sprawling below us, both thrilling and exposing. The wind swept my hair across my face, and I barely noticed when his hands pushed up the hem of my dress, his touch leaving a trail of fire against my skin. My pulse raced as the fabric bunched around my waist, and the first press of his body against mine stole my breath.
“Relax,” he whispered, his lips brushing the shell of my ear. But there was no relaxing…not with him, not like this. Every nerve in my body was alive, hyperaware of his every movement.
When he slid into me from behind, the stretch was slow, deliberate, and utterly consuming. I gasped, my fingers gripping the railing for support as he filled me completely, his hands anchoring my hips to his. The sensation was overwhelming, the angle perfect in a way that made me tremble. The world around us seemed to blur, the sounds of the city fading into nothing as he plain and simple started to fuck me out of my mind.
Each thrust was measured at first, his control evident in the way he seemed to savor every inch of me. But it didn’t last. Soon, his rhythm grew rougher, more desperate, his hips slamming into mine with a force that sent shocks of pleasure spiraling through me. The railing dug into my stomach, grounding me, as my body met his in perfect synchronization.
The wind whipped against my skin, cool against the heat building inside me, and I couldn’t hold back the cries spilling from my lips. He leaned over me, his chest pressing against my back, and the sound of his ragged breaths in my ear made me clench around him, drawing a guttural groan from deep in his throat.
“Jenny,” he growled, his voice raw and broken. One of his hands slid up my side, gripping the curve of my waist before moving to cup my breast. His fingers teased the sensitive peak, sending jolts of pleasure coursing through me as his pace quickened.
The intensity was overwhelming, the pleasure sharp and unrelenting. My legs trembled beneath me, the railing the only thing keeping me upright as he drove into me, each thrust deeper and harder than the last. The combination of his heat, his strength, and the cool night air was dizzying, intoxicating.
When my release finally hit, it was explosive, ripping through me in waves so powerful they left me shaking. My body tightened around him, and his rhythm faltered as he followed me over the edge, his groan echoing in the night as he buried himself inside me one last time.
I couldn’t fall asleep that night because, for some reason, I needed him. Needed the warmth he had offered me initially by holding me in his arms and soothing me. Instead, he’d turned and left, even smacking my ass on his way out, and I’d never felt colder. Still, I told myself it was better this way because it made me hate him…just a little, though…since this was what I had asked for. To simply be fucked, with no emotions left intact.
And so, eventually, I fell asleep thinking of Brett and how much warmer he was. But it felt like cheating because that affection and warmth…if I were honest…Zack had offered me first.
The next time was in the shower.
It had been a long day, the kind that left my body tense and my mind racing. Every moment of stress, every lingering frustration, clung to me like a weight I couldn’t shake. And as the sound of water running filtered through my door late at night, I felt an ache that wasn’t just physical…it was deeper, clawing at my insides, begging for release.
I didn’t think…I acted. My feet carried me to his bathroom before my mind could catch up. The air was thick with steam, curling and rising like smoke, wrapping around me as I stepped inside. The heat kissed my skin, easing some of the tension in my shoulders but stoking something even more consuming within me.
He stood under the cascade of water, his back to me, broad shoulders glistening under the dim light. The sight of him stirred a fire that had been simmering since that night on the balcony, where he had been as cold and unyielding as the wind biting at my skin. He had taken me without hesitation, his hands rough, his voice commanding, but his heart distant…guarded. Now, I felt no shame, no hesitation about what I needed.
I needed him to fuck the day out of me.
"Jenny," he said, his voice low and rough as he turned to face me. His eyes met mine through the rising mist, and I saw the flicker of surprise before it was quickly replaced with something darker, hungrier.
I stepped forward, my hands trembling, not with hesitation but with the sheer weight of everything I felt. Without a word, I slipped into the stall, the water soaking my hair, plastering my clothes to my skin. His gaze roamed over me, lingering on the places where the wet fabric clung, and I saw the moment his restraint snapped.
“You shouldn’t be here,” he murmured, even as his hands reached for me, sliding down my arms, his grip firm and possessive.
“I should,” I whispered back, my voice steady despite the pounding of my heart. “I need this. I need you.”
There was no hesitation then. He pulled me against him, his lips crashing into mine, the kiss fierce and consuming, a battle of need and control. The water poured over us, erasing the day but fueling the fire between us. His hands moved quickly, peeling my wet clothes away, his fingers grazing my skin with a touch that sent shivers down my spine despite the heat.
"Turn around," he growled, his voice thick with desire.
And I did, my palms pressing against the cool tiles as his hands gripped my hips. The tension in my body coiled tighter as he positioned himself behind me, his breath warm against my neck. He didn’t rush…he never did. But when he finally pushed into me, the stretch was slow, deliberate, claiming every ounce of control I thought I had left.
The stress of the day melted away with every thrust, his movements deliberate, driving me closer and closer to the edge. The sound of the water hitting the tiles mixed with the slap of our bodies, the soft gasps and moans escaping my lips as he filled me completely.
I lost myself in him, in the heat of his touch, the strength of his body against mine, and for the first time all day, I felt free…alive. Every stroke, every whispered word, was a promise, and as my legs began to tremble and my release crashed over me, I knew he had given me exactly what I needed.
When it was over, he didn’t let go. He held me there, his arms wrapped around me as the water washed over us, and for a moment, it felt like nothing else mattered. But the memory of his coldness from before lingered, a quiet reminder of why I couldn’t let myself fall too far.
So, I pulled away and returned to my room, shaky. Yet, still needing more. It continued further till I fulfilled my contract, then it was time for us to return to New York.