Chapter 34
Chapter
Thirty-Four
ZACK
T he hum of the airplane engines thrums beneath my feet, a steady, monotonous sound that mirrors the weight pressing down on my chest. I’ve been staring at the tablet in front of me for the better part of an hour, pretending to focus on emails I’ve already read twice. The screen blurs, the words meaningless, but I refuse to let my thoughts stray to her.
Not here. Not now.
She was late. Her shoot had run behind, leaving me waiting like some fool, checking the time as if I didn’t have better things to do. Now she’s here, sitting across from me…a vision of quiet defiance in her tailored travel clothes, arms folded, her gaze fixed on the window.
The sunlight streams in, glinting off the auburn strands of her hair, and I hate the way it catches me off guard. I shouldn’t be noticing these things. Not when we’re on the way back to New York, and whatever this is…whatever this was…needs to end. For both our sakes.
But her silence presses on me like a weight, and I know she can feel my eyes on her. She shifts slightly, her chin tilting in defiance, refusing to acknowledge my presence. A joke of sorts…this cold detachment. It’s exactly what she asked for when she made her conditions clear.
“You’re quiet,” she says finally, breaking the tension. Her voice is light, teasing, but I can hear the edge beneath it. “Last time we were on a plane together, you talked more.”
I didn’t even bother lifting my gaze from my tablet as I respond. “You said you had no interest in talking. Only getting fucked.”
Her words falter. I can see the surprise flicker across her face before she schools it into composure, but I catch it, and I let it hang between us. She turns back to the window, her hands tightening over her arms as if to keep from reacting.
“That’s over now, isn’t it?” she says after a beat, her voice clipped. “Since we’re heading back.”
“Sure,” I reply, my tone dismissive as I glance back at the tablet.
“Sure?” she repeats, her voice rising just slightly. She straightens in her seat, her frustration unmistakable now. “That’s all. That’s all you have to say?”
I don’t look at her. “You were the one who suggested the arrangement in the first place. I have no complaints or preferences.”
I hear the rustle of fabric as she stands, and before I can stop her, she’s moved…standing before me, then straddling my lap. The sudden closeness steals my breath for a moment, but I don’t push her away. Her hands settle on my chest, her hazel eyes burning with an intensity I hadn’t expected.
“You don’t complain, but you’re cold,” she says, her voice trembling with the frustration she’s holding back. “Why are you suddenly so cold to me?”
I meet her gaze, my voice calm but firm. “I’m cold to everyone.”
“That’s not true,” she counters, leaning in, her voice lowering. “You weren’t cold to me at first. You were?—”
“Warm.”
I stare deep into her gorgeous hazel eyes. “Yes, I was. But knowing since then that our relationship would only be transactional, I didn’t see the need to put in the effort.”
Her breath hitches, and for a moment, she’s stunned silent. But I see the emotions flash in her eyes…shock, anger, and something I can’t quite name. “Well yeah, I guess.”
I sigh and react instinctively, instantly regretting it, but I can’t help myself. “Remember, Jenny, this is what you asked for, and I’m just honoring it.”
“Yeah,” she says again. “Right. Thank you.”
Then, slowly, she climbs off me and moves back to her seat, her shoulders rigid, her movements measured. I don’t watch her go, but I can feel the space between us growing colder with every passing second.
And yet, in the quiet that follows, I can’t stop my mind from drifting back to the night before. The way she’d looked at me in her bed, her expression open, vulnerable…something I hadn’t been prepared to see. I remember the way she’d trembled under my touch, how her body had softened against mine, and for once, I’d let myself slow down.
It hadn’t just been fucking. I’d taken my time, every movement deliberate, every kiss lingering. It had been something more…something I’d told myself I wasn’t capable of giving her.
And I hate that a part of me wonders if she noticed. Because I sure as hell did.
I’m glad, though, about the boundary she set. It keeps me in check. Keeps me from losing my mind because I know that if she’d made this something sweeter, something that felt better than I ever expected, I would’ve completely lost myself in her.
And so now, I’m glad that I can return to New York with my mind intact. But as for the matter between her and Brett… it worries me. From the boundary she set between us, it’s clear she intends to go back to him. I tell myself I don’t care, but it bothers me deeply that I’m not exactly sure how I’d react if she didn’t.
Sighing again, I glance over at her, still sitting stiffly, her face turned away. The distance between us feels insurmountable now. And it’s for the best.