National Have a Bad Day Day
NOVEMBER 19TH
Chandler
Harper has put you in charge of dessert for Thanksgiving. She assumes picking up a pumpkin pie from the store will be easy enough.
Ben
I'm not coming.
Chandler
You're coming.
Ben
No. I'm not.
Chandler
You have to. It's the first Thanksgiving since Mike and Kathleen got married. Harper’s going out of her mind trying to make everything perfect.
Ben
I would think Harper would love that I'm not there. I'm not exactly her favorite person right now.
Chandler
She might think y'all are making a big mistake, but this is Thanksgiving. All family required. She just wants y'all to pretend you aren't hugging. And married.
Ben
We're not.
Chandler
Not married?
Ben
Not hugging.
Chandler
Since when?
Ben
Two days ago.
Chandler
Oh. What happened?
Ben
Honeymoon's over.
Chandler
Wow, you're a fountain of information.
Ben
What's there to say? We were fucking, now we're not. The annulment papers hit my inbox today, so the marriage will be over soon. Are we done now?
Chandler
Sure. Don't forget the pumpkin pie.
Ben
You can tell Harper she can go shove her pumpkin pie.
Chandler
Hey, I get you're upset, but don't make me leave work to kick your ass.
Ben
Sorry. It's , and I'm having one.
Chandler
You get a pass this time. Try that shit again, and we'll have a problem. Happy Have a Bad Day Day. See you Thursday. With pumpkin pie.
Ben
I like apple.
Chandler
IDGAF as long as you bring a pumpkin one; otherwise, Thursday will be Bad Day Day—Harper style.
Ben
*shudders*