National Ding-a-Ling Day
DECEMBER 12TH
Ben
Yesterday I was delivered a noddle ring—which has to be the weirdest way ever to eat pasta. And today, I wake up to a box on my front porch full of bells with penis-shaped ringers. I wasn’t sure things could get any more bizarre than Noodle Ring Day.
Lainey
Oh, just you wait.
Ben
Seriously…the penis bells…why??
Lainey
Because it’s ! Duh!
Ben
Gotta admit, that wouldn’t have been my guess.
Lainey
I couldn’t think of something ditzy like the true meaning of a ding-a-ling, so I went the bell/penis route. It is Christmastime, after all.
Ben
Sure. Because nothing screams Christmas like bells with cock ringers.
Lainey
Every time a ding-a-ling rings, an angel creams.
Ben
Fuck! I just choked on my coffee, and now my nose burns like hell.
Where did you even get these?
Lainey
The internet is a weird and wonderful place.