Chapter 2
2
J avari:
With my hands pressed firmly on the tiled shower wall, my tears effortlessly ran down my face, mixing in with the hot water while I hung my head low. I had already cleansed my body but didn’t have the strength to get out. Aside from when I was a kid, I had only cried one other time than tonight, and that was when I lost my brother to gun violence. Tonight, however, I felt like I’d died inside. Radiance may not have been my only thing, but since I was fifteen years old, she had been my everything. I knew I was probably being selfish by asking her to come with me when she, too, was out here working her dream job as a psychologist, but I wanted her. I couldn’t have the best of both worlds, and Radiance had chosen for us.
Feeling the water had turned cold, I twisted the handle before grabbing my towel that was draped over the top of the glass shower door. Wrapping the towel around my waist, I stepped out the shower after opening the door. Swiping my hand across the wide mirror, I rid it of the condensation and just stared back at my reflection. Defeat was the cloak over my features. Tomorrow was huge for me, but it wasn’t something I could be excited for without my best friend beside me. The pain was evident, but I couldn’t keep feeling sorry for myself; the damage had already been done. I allowed the last tears to slip before I roughly ran my hand over my face, wiping any tears that had fallen. Even with the hurt, there wouldn’t be any more tears.
After handling the remainder of my hygiene, I stepped out the bathroom, ambling to the side of the bed, dropping back on the side of it. I’d said I was letting it go, but it was already hard to do. Radiance had been my only real girlfriend, and even through the breakups, she was still around, so I had to try just one more time.
Me: Baby, I know this might come off as selfish, but being honest, when it comes to you, I am selfish. You’re my world, and honestly, I don’t want to know what life is without you. Baby, please come with me, and we can figure everything out later. We can make your dream come true while mines is a reality. We both can do this together. I love you. Just say you’ll come with me.
Reading the message multiple times, I pondered on not sending it, adding more to it, or just simply sending it. “Fuck it,” I mumbled, pressing the button for the message to send. Whenever I would text Radiance, if she was free, she would read and respond right away. Per usual, I saw that she had read my message; only this time, the three bubbles that would pop up never happened. Yeah, it was officially over.
“Son, have you called her, to at least try one more time?” my pops asked as he, my mother, and I stood in the middle of the airport. Today was moving day, and I hadn’t spoken to Radiance since I walked out that day. I wanted to reach out, but I felt doing so would make things worse than they already were.
“Pops, she made her choice, and I am making mine.”
“Are you sure it’s the right thing? You and Radiance have been together since forever. I think you two just need some time, and it will be okay. She is supposed to be my daughter-in-law,” my mother said, reaching out, touching my arm.
“Yeah, we just need the time.” I didn’t want to continue with the back-and-forth when I knew neither of my parents would understand me not wanting to reach out again.
“We love you, Son,” my mother said, wrapping her arms around me.
“I love you too.” I was embarking on one of the biggest chapters in my life, and I thought Radiance would be by my side, but it was clear that our lives were on two different paths. “I’ve gotta go before I miss my flight.”
My mother held me tighter. I knew it was hard for me to leave her once again. The last time was college, and she damn near lost her mind. “You go and do great things, Son.”
“Come on, Ma, none of that.” I noticed her tears.
She finally released me, and that was when my father hugged me, although his hug was not nearly as long as my mother’s. “Continue to make us proud,” he said.
I simply smiled and nodded. I was grown, but being their only child, no matter how old I became, they’d forever see me as their little boy. I bid them a farewell once more, walking through security. I was leaving behind so many things, people, and memories, but it was time I lived my dream. Once I passed through security, my new life would start.