18. Chapter Eighteen Rhowyn
Chapter Eighteen: Rhowyn
My grandfather left me with a warning to be careful and promised that he would keep researching answers on how to help me. I was sad to see him go, wanting to spend so much more time with him, getting to know him and listening to his stories about my father. I still had so many questions, but again, the Bitch Queen was interfering.
Now, I was sitting in front of my vanity as Juniper and Larissa helped me to prepare for the ball tonight. I couldn't help the sense of anxiety that I felt at returning to that room after having undergone the Queen's punishment not too long ago. I kept telling myself that I'd be a fool to not be wary of going back, knowing the full scope of the danger I was in every time I was around her. I reminded myself that this nervousness was normal, but it did nothing to ease the tension or my racing fears.
My palms were sweaty, my skin cold and clammy. I was sure Larissa was having hell trying to apply my makeup. To keep my hands from shaking, I gripped my leggings to the point that my knuckles turned white .
Finally finishing with my makeup, Larissa stood to survey her work. She smiled in triumph, pleased with the result. Catching sight of myself in the mirror, I had to admit, she was talented at her job. Too bad she was not to be trusted and was adding to my anxiety.
“Thank you, Larissa. I've got things from here. Would you go see if the Consorts need any assistance?” Juniper instructed her.
“But...” she started, clearly not happy with being dismissed.
Juniper gave her a hard look, stopping any arguments she may have given. Instead, she simply nodded. “Of course. Call for me should you need anything further,” she offered dutifully.
“Thank you, Larissa,” I told her, not wanting any more enemies at this point. While she wasn't necessarily trustworthy, she also wasn't outright trying to sabotage me either. She smiled, pleased with my thanks before she disappeared to see what the guys needed.
“Now that she's gone, how are you?” Juniper asked, meeting my gaze in the mirror.
“Honestly?” I asked her. When she nodded, I sighed heavily. “I'm nervous about tonight.”
“I would think that's a normal response after your last encounter with the Queen,” Juniper reassured me, her eyes showing empathy for what had happened to me.
“I don't want her to have the satisfaction of my fear. I want to throw what she did back in her face as if to show her that she can try, but she could never truly hurt me,” I confessed softly, ashamed of my weakness.
“Oh dear.” She stopped messing with my hair, turning me to face her as she bent over to my level. “Courage isn't being unafraid. It's being terrified but standing up anyway.”
“I know, but I can't seem to convince myself that she didn't win.” My eyes watered as I aired the fears that were threatening to consume me.
“Did you know that many witnessed what happened during that ball and many more heard the tales of it?”
I buried my face in my hands. “Don't tell me that. It's embarrassing enough as it is.”
She pulled my hands from my face. “Word is, that you were terribly brave, standing up for that human slave. That you sacrificed yourself when you had no reason to, other than it was the right thing to do. You've managed to gain the respect of many fae in that one action.”
Shocked at this news, I gaped at her, my mouth hanging open. She closed my mouth with a gentle finger on my jaw and a soft smile on her face. “It's true. You managed to do what no other High Fae has in a very long time, reminding us of the honor that we once valued so dearly.”
“It's not like that's what I was trying to do.” I tried to shake off her praise, somewhat uncomfortable and feeling unworthy of it.
She laughed softly. “And that's exactly why it meant so much.”
Falling silent, I processed what she said, my anxiety somewhat eased by her words. “Now, let's get your armor in place. Since tonight is in your honor, we must ensure that you catch everyone's eye,” she said with a playful wink, turning me back to finish my hair.
Before I knew it, I was all decked out, a waterfall braid dripping with gems in my dark, ombre green hair, the tail wrapping around my head and laying across my left shoulder.
I was standing in a strapless gown that somehow stayed up no matter how I twisted and moved, which was magic in and of itself. The maroon color darkened until it was almost black at the hemline, more gems smattered around the plunging neckline, accenting it. The heart-shaped point dipped down nearly to my navel, revealing quite a bit of skin while also being tasteful and elegant. The waist hugged my hips snugly before falling loosely against my legs. Two slits up each side made it easy to walk, only evident when I took a step. When standing still, the fabric gathered and hid everything appropriately.
My heels weren’t very tall, thankfully, and crisscrossed up my calves to be revealed each time the dress opened when I walked. They matched the gems in the gown and my hair, glittering brightly in the low lights of my room. My makeup was minimal except for the perfect smokey eye which complimented my gown, a single gem at the edge of the perfect wing tip of my eyeliner.
Each time I thought I couldn't look better, Juniper and Larissa went and proved me wrong. I gasped at the sight of myself. “I can't believe that's me that I'm looking at. How'd you make me look like I'm glowing?” I asked her, turning to face her in awe of her handiwork.
She laughed. “That has nothing to do with me. That's all you.”
Shocked by that news, I turned back to look at my reflection again, my palm going to my cheek as if to reassure myself that it was indeed me in the mirror.
“You provide me with an already stunning canvas to work with. All I have to do is highlight it,” she said, coming to stand next to me, meeting my eyes in the mirror again.
“Well, I'm grateful to have you. You've been a real lifesaver.” I hugged her, basking in her strong embrace.
A knock sounded on the door. “You ladies ready in there?” Baer's voice sounded through the door. I laughed. Why did they always send him to fetch me?
“Just finishing up now,” I called out to him, hearing his footsteps walking away.
Juniper took both of my shoulders in her hands, facing me. “Remember to be true to who you are and what is right. Everything else will fall into place as long as you remain steadfast.”
Her cryptic words piqued my interest. “I’ll do my best.” I couldn't make any promises except to try.
“I couldn 't ask for anything more than that. Have faith in yourself, darling. Because I do and so do those men out there. It's time you started believing in yourself, too.”
With those words bolstering me, we exited my room to find all the guys hovering around the door to our suite. “Took you long enough,” Callum growled, true to form.
“It takes effort to look this good,” I sassed back at him.
“And damn, do you look good. Absolutely delectable,” Lennox said, sauntering over to take my hand, kissing my knuckles, and drawing out a laugh from me.
“Down boy,” Baer teased, coming over to kiss my cheek. “We have places to be.”
“Now, if any of you ruin her makeup before she has a chance to get to the ball, I will skin each of you alive,” Juniper threatened playfully at our antics. Lennox raised his hands in supplication and surrender as all of us laughed.
“Come on, Rhowyn, we should probably leave now before these two can no longer control themselves.” Arryn took my arm in his, leading me down the hall like a real lady. I smiled up at him as he guided me down the maze of hallways. With each step closer to the ballroom, I gripped his arm tighter, my anxiety returning two-fold. I swallowed, unsure if I'd be able to face what was waiting for me.
Lennox, Callum, and Baer went through the double doors, all announced by Jensen, but I froze, unable to get my feet to move across the threshold.
Arryn leaned down as if speaking seductively to me, instead whispering words of encouragement. “I will be with you every step of the way. If you need absolutely anything, just say the word, and I'll make it happen as quickly as I can,” he promised, pulling back to meet my eyes. He nodded as if to say I could do this .
Having his support in this moment gave me the strength to take the first step through the doors, then the next, and the next. Before I knew it, I was across the room, my anxiety fading the further we made it into the crowd without the world falling apart.
He was right. I could do this. I would do this. I wouldn't allow the Queen to have the satisfaction of keeping me from this moment, no matter how afraid I really was.
Baer snagged a couple glasses of wine from a passing server and handed one to me. I drank half of it in one go, needing the liquid courage but not wanting a repeat of last time. Exhaling a deep breath, I forced my muscles to slowly relax as I scanned the room, seeing Charity in a gorgeous champagne colored gown that floated when she moved. She was over by the table with the refreshments, slightly distanced from the throngs of people swarming the other Chosen, her consorts hovering over her.
Smiling, I released Arryn's arm. “I'm going to go say hi to Charity,” I told him. I caught the look he sent Callum, sending him after me to act as my bodyguard. I laughed softly, shaking my head, pleased at the measures they took for me. It made me feel treasured in a way that I had never experienced.
Charity spotted me when I’d made it halfway, giving me a huge grin and wave. I smiled back at her widely. As I got near, she pulled me into a hug, rocking me back and forth in her excitement. “I'm so glad to see you. Of course, I knew you'd be here, this being in your honor and all, but I wasn't sure if you'd take the time to speak with me, especially after what happened in the maze,” she rambled out nervously.
“Relax, Charity,” I told her, placing a hand on her shoulder. “We're all good. It wasn't y'all's fault. The Ankou was responsible for everything that was said.”
“Still, we owe you all an apology. We're all ashamed of the way we treated you all after all the ways you and your consorts helped us. We wouldn't have made it out of there without your help,” she pleaded with me. “We are truly sorry and want to give you our thanks and gratitude.” Her hand held my forearm in desperation.
I placed my free hand over hers. “Seriously, it's all good. No grudges here. I'm just glad y'all managed to make it out of there safely. Arryn filled me in and let me know that y'all made it out shortly before we left.”
“Yeah. That was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. The scariest, too. I sure hope the next trial isn't as challenging,” she confided in me.
I laughed. “Me too, but I get the feeling that things are only going to get more difficult as we go along. At least for me, anyway.”
“I hope not,” she said, her eyes widening in fear.
“I'm sure you’ll do well. You have some pretty good consorts there who all care for you deeply,” I assured her, not wanting her to worry.
She got a dreamy look on her face as her gaze darted to them. “Yeah, I got pretty lucky in that department.”
I laughed. “I can't argue there. Mine seem to be a pretty good match for me, too.”
“Oh!” Her excitement caused her to widen her expressive honey eyes. “Things going well for you too?” She fished for the details I would never share.
I laughed. “A lady never kisses and tells,” I said with a wink, my tone indicating that we had indeed taken things to the next step.
Before I could say anything more, Callum stepped up behind me, whispering softly in my ear. “Careful, Trouble. Lady Branwen and her group are approaching on your left. She's the one in the blue gown.” My eyes looked to that direction discreetly, finally able to put a face to the name. Taking note, I nodded in understanding.
“I'm sorry, Charity, but my guys are needing me for a moment. I'll come find you again later if I can,” I said, excusing myself so I could put some distance between myself and Lady Branwen.
Following my line of sight, Charity nodded in understanding. “Of course. I'm just so happy to have had the chance to speak with you tonight. Enjoy your evening.”
“You too,” I told her, giving her a hug before letting Callum lead me back to Arryn, who had moved to speak with another group of fae.
As I slid in beside him, he wrapped his arm around me. “Gentlemen, please let me introduce you to my Chosen, Rhowyn Hunt. Rhowyn, this is George, Frederick, and Duncan. They're all members of the Summer Court and grew up with me.”
“It's nice to meet you all,” I said politely, somehow remembering my manners before smiling mischievously. “I'm willing to bet that y'all have some pretty good stories about what it was like to know young Arryn. I'm sure he wasn't always the responsible and boring Captain.” I winked to indicate that I was teasing him.
He laughed, his friends following suit. George spoke up first. “Honestly, I can't ever remember a time where he wasn't the voice of reason. Usually, it was Duncan or Fred coming up with all sorts of ideas, me tagging along, and Arryn trying desperately to talk some sense into us. Mostly he was unsuccessful, but he was always there to help us get out of trouble as well.”
I laughed. “Surely, there's one story of him being responsible for some sort of mischief.”
“If there was, I can't recall,” said Duncan with a smile. It was obvious that his friends were all fond of him still, if not a little too fond of themselves as well .
“Even now, he's always checking in on us to ensure we aren't up to our old ways,” Fred said, clapping Arryn on the back jovially.
I started to inquire further, but the knocking of a staff on the ground announced the arrival of the Queen. Butterflies erupted in my gut, and I downed the rest of my drink, handing my empty glass to Callum, who took it dutifully, Baer coming to join us.
My palms began to sweat again as the Queen entered, graceful and stunningly beautiful as always, her Consorts right behind her. Each of them were imposing and intimidating, although they were all eclipsed by the fear that the Queen struck in the heart of each of her subjects.
I was beginning to see the signs of her tyrannical rule, not that I hadn’t known she was a sadist before, but now it was undeniable. How had I not noticed before how each and every one of the courtiers present walked on eggshells in terror that she would focus her ire on them? I wasn't the only one suffering from nerves in this moment. That thought appeased me somewhat, although not enough to keep me from shaking.
A warm hand landed on mine, which was still wrapped in Arryn's elbow. I glanced up at him to find him facing forward, providing silent support just like he'd promised, not giving anything away.
Baer's fingers intertwined with my other hand, bringing it behind my back as if he was trying to lean into me lovingly. My heart swelled at the actions of both men. I seriously couldn't have found two better men for me if I’d been the one trying to pick them out. They both had done nothing but support me every step of the way and would continue to do so as long as I let them.
I couldn't imagine beyond the trials, not really. I didn't know what normal life in Avalon was like, so I couldn't say what the future would bring, but I found myself wanting to discover that future with them both. My heart twinged in pain at the thought of the girls that I’d left behind, wishing I could have everyone around me. I hated that I had to choose. Either I’d have to return to the girls, or I’d have to pick the men that were slowly claiming my heart and affections. Neither choice seemed sufficient. Each one lacking something that was so very dear to me.
The Queen began her speech, drawing my attention back to the front of the room. “Thank you all for being here tonight in celebration of the completion of the first trial.” Everyone clapped in congratulations, no one cheering or daring to speak. It was as if someone had turned on an applause sign in a recording studio, prompting everyone to partake only because it was required.
“It was without a doubt a grueling and trying time for our Chosen and their Consorts as they navigated the maze and obstacles as presented by Avalonia. Sadly, not all Chosen made it out, or they failed the trial, leaving us with eleven competitors remaining.
“While we grieve the loss of those Chosen, the trials must continue. We must also celebrate the fact that we are one step closer to crowning a new Queen.” She paused as the crowd applauded again, cutting off at the prescribed amount of time, allowing the Queen to continue her speech.
“That being said, Rhowyn Hunt, please approach the dais.” My eyes widened as she called me forth. Not me and my consorts. Just me.
I glanced to Arryn, who nodded at me subtly, releasing my arm. Baer's fingers pulled from mine as I began walking toward her, my hands held tightly to my sides to hide their shaking. My knees threatened to buckle as I approached the site of my abuse.
Growing lightheaded, I forced myself to take a deep, steadying breath, keeping my steady pace forward. My stomach knotted as I drew nearer, and instead of succumbing to the terror, I held my head high, determined not to show my fear to the Queen. Flashbacks threatened to assault me the closer I got, and I desperately shoved them away, walling off my memories as best as I could.
Once at the dais, I curtsied the way Lennox had taught me earlier during one of our training sessions, holding the position, before the Queen prompted me to rise.
“We are here tonight not only to celebrate the completion of the trials, but also to honor the Chosen who completed the course and arrived at the center first. After facing down the plants, shifting walls, a Cú Síth, a Loathly Worm, an Ankou, a Chitterling, quicksand, and finally escaping the claws of the Matogots, she arrived safe and sound as the first competitor to finish. She not only saved another Chosen and her Consorts, but she diverted the attention of the Cú Síth from a fleeing group who unfortunately did not make it out.” She rattled off my accomplishments almost as if they were painful for her to put voice to. While her smile remained plastered on her face, her eyes were seething in anger that she had to now boast on my behalf.
“It is these actions that have earned the reward that I promised at the start of the trial.” She gestured to Jensen, who approached her on the dais, holding a white embroidered pillow that sparkled in the glaring lights of the room. A gold necklace shone under the glaring lights, dainty and elegant in design with a three-sided Celtic knot for a charm. “It is my honor to present this necklace to you, Rhowyn Hunt, Chosen of Avalon.” She picked up the necklace and held it out, indicating I should bow so she could place it on my neck.
I did so as she continued to speak. “This necklace is more than just a pretty bauble. It has spells of protection woven into the precious metals which are meant to aid you in future trials. The gems which have been carefully selected will also speed healing should you somehow become injured.” She clasped the necklace in place and then indicated that I should stand and turn to face the crowd.
When I did, the crowd erupted in a deafening applause, causing a blush to heat my cheeks. This was more than I had ever wanted. I hated being the center of attention, preferring the shadows where I would remain safe and sound, out of sight. Now, I was being thrust into the spotlight, where danger lurked in every corner.
When the applause died down, I turned back to the Queen and curtseyed again. “Thank you, Your Majesty,” I said, doing my best to project my voice and keep my disdain far away from my tone.
I stood there in that position, the silence deafening as I waited for her to excuse me, my panic flaring as memories flashed through my mind, escaping the walled fortress in my head as I froze in place. Ringing in my ears whistled loudly as blood rushed from my racing heart. A hand on my shoulder brought me back, causing me to flinch at the contact. Not enough for others to notice, but I knew she had caught the reaction the moment I stood. Her eyes glittered in delight as she said, “You may go.”
I stood there for a few seconds, filled with anger and terror at the same time. I was livid that I'd allowed her that satisfaction and yet too terrified to do anything more.
Finally, I found the strength to turn my back on her, my instincts screaming at me that I would regret that reaction to her and walked back to my guys.