25. Chapter Twenty Five Rhowyn
Chapter Twenty Five: Rhowyn
Getting royally pissed off at all the vague answers, I finally snapped. “And just what the fuck is a Raven?”
I tried to stalk toward Brannoc, but Baer grabbed my arm, holding me back. I sent a withering glare in his direction, causing him to release me. His hands shot up, trying to placate me. “He's an assassin.”
Callum growled and stepped up next to me. “Not just any assassin, but the best. His fae nature makes him perfect for getting in and out of places without being seen, able to kill before people know what hit them.” He moved until he was standing just in front of me but far enough to the side I could still see Brannoc. Not turning to Arryn, he demanded, “Why the fuck would you bring us here?”
Arryn sighed and moved to place himself between us all, keeping us from exploding into a fight. He answered Callum, “Because Ravens aren't just assassins, but they’re also spies. They have eyes everywhere and know things that we cannot. ”
Turning to face Brannoc, Arryn glared at him. “Stop toying with them. You already know it's in your best interest to help us, so make nice and quit being an ass.”
Brannoc chuckled. “You know that being an asshole is in my nature. I just can't seem to help myself.”
Sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose, Arryn said, “I've got enough of those in my life right now without you adding to it.” I laughed at that, knowing he was referring to Callum and Lennox. He wasn’t wrong. Since coming here, I had run into way more assholes than I’d ever expected.
Brannoc smiled and quirked an eyebrow at me, amused, tilting his head to study me before turning to Arryn and capitulating. “Fine. What is it you need to know?” He took a seat on the couch as if he hadn't a care in the world. I guess if he was as dangerous as the guys alluded to, then he really didn't.
Arryn took a seat on the couch across from Brannoc, and I moved to sit next to him. Baer took up a seat on my other side, while Lennox and Callum stayed standing, hovering behind me.
Arryn turned to Baer. “Cast an air shield so that we can't be overheard.” Baer did so without question, trusting Arryn's judgement completely. Once he was done, he nodded at Arryn to continue.
“As you can see, we have been chosen to undergo the trials. For the first time, we have a true shot at ensuring a worthy queen replaces the one we currently have.” He paused to look down at me. “We managed to win the first trial, only garnering more danger to us. Rhowyn here has a glamor in place that we can't seem to unlock and has effectively no access to her own magic, which is also locked away.”
Shocked that he was just spilling everything to this guy, whoever he was, I turned to look at him. I trusted him, knowing he had a reason for what he was doing, but I couldn't help the slight flutter of fear that came from someone else having more information on me.
Unconcerned with my worries, he continued. “We've been assigned the task of finding the Lady of the Lake for our second trial. Not only that, but we must receive a boon from her.”
Surprise flashed in Brannoc's eyes at this knowledge, though he didn't say anything. He leaned back on the couch, stretching an arm across the back when Arryn nodded at him, confirming the question that wasn't spoken.
“You need to know where the Gwyllion are,” Brannoc said without any pretense, no question in his statement. These two must have known each other well, the way they could read each other hinted at not just a history but a present relationship. Puzzled, I listened to Arryn continue, making a mental note to ask him about this later.
“You're correct. So, can you find the Gwyllion?”
Brannoc laughed, throwing his head back in amusement at the question. “You already know the answer to that, or you wouldn't have wasted your time in coming here. Of course I can. I'll have their location in the morning.” He stood with that declaration.
Callum moved to step in his path as Brannoc tried to leave. “And what's the cost? We all know that Ravens never work for free.”
Brannoc looked to Arryn, the two exchanging a heavy gaze. Arryn shook his head, and Brannoc sighed but answered Callum. “That debt has already been paid.”
When Callum still didn't move, suspicion evident in his furrowed brow and crossed arms, Brannoc burst into a flash of darkness and shadows, which cleared, leaving an actual raven in his place. He flew out the open window as my jaw hit the floor.
Holy shit! He was an actual raven . I had thought it was just a figure of speech, but I should have known better. A finger touched my chin, putting slight pressure on it and closing my mouth, a chuckle accompanying the action.
“Save that look for later, Princess. I promise that what I've got to show you will leave you just as shocked.” Lennox smirked at me playfully.
I turned to him with a laugh. “Promises. Promises,” I sing-songed before turning back to Arryn. “I thought he was bringing us clothes and stuff?”
“He did.” He gestured to the table, and I turned to find everything laid out and ready for us.
“Fucking hell, he's good,” I exhaled.
“Careful, Princess. I might just get jealous.”
Not bothering to respond to that insinuation, I walked over to the table to find my supplies, gathering them in my arms. While Brannoc was hot, I didn't feel the same pull toward him that I did for my own men. There was no chemistry, no connection. Even when Brannoc was behind me, feeling the warmth of his breath on my neck, the only thing it left me with was shivers of fear, not lust. Although, I had to admit I was curious about him.
“I promise we have nothing to worry about,” Baer said, coming to stand next to me. At my questioning look, he placed a hand on his chest. “For one, I don't feel it here. And two, I smell no attraction coming from your end. He did nothing for you in that way.”
“Good to know that y'all can read me so well,” I said sarcastically, not sure how I liked it. I mean, it was nice that I didn't always have to explain myself, but it also felt intrusive and made me feel more vulnerable than I was used to.
Changing the subject, not comfortable with thinking about sex with all of them in the same room and in such close proximity, I asked, “I guess the plan is to rest and just wait for Brannoc to return?”
Arryn nodded. “Not much else we can do. ”
I turned to leave, heading toward the only other door in the room, confident that it held a shower or something similar. I paused halfway there though, a thought occurring to me. “Can we trust him?”
Arryn held my gaze, imploring me to understand the depth and honesty in his answer. It wasn't necessary because I could feel it through the bond. “With our lives.”
“Why do I get the feeling that there's more to this? What am I missing?” I asked him.
“I saved Brannoc's life once. He owes me this much at least.” He left it at that, but I knew I'd need to know more eventually. My curiosity wouldn’t allow me to drop the questions I had, but I was trying to respect his need for distance as well. If nothing else, I understood that need to keep some things hidden, especially the parts I wasn't proud of.
Letting him off the hook, I announced that I would be taking a shower. Lennox tried to follow me into the room, but I pushed him out with a laugh, needing a moment to myself to reflect on everything that had happened so far today.
I stood under the spray of warm water, the perfect temperature to ease my aching muscles, just letting the water run over my head as I slowly relaxed. It seemed like I was constantly tense these days, the only time I'd been able to relax coming after sex with Arryn and Baer.
Even then, I was still guarded. Although, those walls I had spent decades building were slowly starting to crumble around me, leaving me more exposed than I had ever been before. I wasn't sure how I was going to protect myself without those walls. I'd already given up hope of keeping them up, each one of the guys finding the cracks and widening them before I even knew what had happened. It was a waste of energy to keep trying to repair them, so instead, I needed to find a way to protect myself without them.
It's not that I didn 't trust them. I did. Surprisingly, I believed in them more than I had anyone else in my life. The problem was exactly that. I had no experience of how to be vulnerable, how to let people in. I knew nothing of relationships or how to make them work. I'd never seen any examples or experienced a healthy partnership. The only example I had was an alcoholic and drug addict for a mother. Somehow, I had a feeling that she wasn't exactly the best role model for how to live my life.
How was I going to manage letting them in while also keeping my heart safe? How could I know for sure that they wouldn't be ripped away from me, destroying me in the process?
I'd already experienced a taste of that with Baer. Even the thought of how close we’d come to losing him threatened to bring me to my knees, but it was a reminder of how quickly things could change. I wouldn't always be there to save them, and it seemed that we were only facing more and more danger as time went on. The risk was greater now than when we had started.
Everything could change in the blink of an eye, and I had no say in that. All of us were at the mercies of the fates. I hated the powerlessness in that truth, that fact that I had no control. There was nothing I could do to keep them safe, which meant my heart was even more vulnerable.
Already, these men were becoming an integral part of my life, my world, myself. Without any one of them, I knew without a doubt I'd be lost and that scared me more than anything else I'd ever faced.