26. Chapter Twenty Six Rhowyn
Chapter Twenty Six: Rhowyn
Determined to keep my deeper thoughts at bay, I joined the guys in the dining room of the inn. I followed Baer to a table toward the back of the room, while the others got our food and drinks. I remained silent as I sat, my eyes wide and taking in the sight and sounds of the room. There was so much life in this one room, all the different types of fae mingling and enjoying themselves. Music sounded from one corner of the room, bolstering the mood. As I watched, couples spun around the dance floor, moving to the music in a way I had never seen before. It was almost like I had stepped back in time to a medieval era. While the dances were beautiful and hypnotic to watch, there was no formality to them, instead flowing movements and laughter harkened back to what the old Earth villages must have enjoyed during festivals and solstices.
I was captivated by the lightheartedness of it all. I wasn't foolish enough to believe that these fae had never known hard times, that there wasn't currently some sort of challenge facing them all, and yet, they were able to let everything go to just live in the moment. They knew how to embrace life and freedom, something I had never had the luxury of, having always been on guard for the next challenge.
Faced with this reality in front of me, I knew I needed to learn how to live. Simply surviving had been enough up until now, until I had met the guys, but I was finding that this was no longer the case.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Baer asked, leaning a shoulder into mine playfully and rocking me from my thoughts.
I smiled up at him. “I was just imagining what it must be like to let go like that.” I indicated the dancers and other patrons of the pub. “To feel secure enough to let themselves go and just enjoy the moment,” I admitted, my eyes still on the crowd of fae, unable to meet his eyes with that admission.
He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, silent as he thought of the best way to reply. “I think it's simply a choice. You decide to just let go, to understand that the problems will always be there, but that you can set them aside for the moment. Otherwise, what's the point of living if you can't enjoy it from time to time?”
I shrugged in response. “Easier said than done.” I wanted what those dancers had, but I wasn't sure how to go about getting it for myself. Fear and anxiety at the prospect of stepping so far out on the ledge from everything I had ever known were eating at me.
The other guys saved me from a response, setting down a bowl of some kind of hearty stew and bread before me. Lennox plopped a large tankard down, sloshing some of the brew over the edge as he did so. Not sure exactly what kind of liquid was filling the cup, I took a big gulp without hesitation. As it hit my tongue, a warm, honey flavor that was both succulent and sweet at the same time exploded in my mouth. I moaned at the depth of the flavor, unable to hide my shock and pleasure at the delicious beverage. “This is amazing! What is it?”
My eyes lifted to see that all of the guys were looking at me with varying degrees of heat in their eyes. I blushed slightly under the weight of their stares, realizing that my pleasure had set them off. Even Callum's expression held desire for a moment before he glanced away to take in the room, watching everyone closely.
We all fell silent, listening and watching the activities around us as we ate our stew and finished our drinks. I finished mine, feeling a little tipsy by the time I was done. “Can I get another one of these?” I asked, just now realizing they’d never told me what the drink was called. “What exactly was that?”
“It's an autumn court ale, usually not available, but widely known as the best,” Lennox said, also having finished his drink, sitting lazily in his seat and appearing relaxed.
In comparison, Callum stiffened at the pronouncement of that information. “Why isn't it usually available?” I questioned further, watching Callum's response closely.
“Because the Autumn Court hasn't made the brew for decades. The bartender just happened to have an old barrel in his stock that he'd been saving for a special occasion. A Chosen, A Prince, and an Autumn Court representative being in his humble pub seemed like a good enough time as any to open it,” Arryn explained since everyone else had fallen silent.
“Well, I have to agree. This is an amazing drink. Why haven't they made any more of it?”
“They just haven't. That's all you need to know,” Callum snapped, draining his drink and shoving up from the table to stomp away from us.
“I'll go get you another drink,” Lennox said before he made his way to the bar.
I looked to Arryn, hoping he would explain Callum's response to my questioning. He sighed and shook his head. “It's not my story to explain.”
“Why do I get the feeling that this is a story I absolutely need to hear, and yet he won't ever explain it to me,” I complained, frustrated with remaining in the dark.
“I'll have a talk with him,” Arryn said, also leaving but heading in the direction that Callum had stomped off in.
“This is why I can't let go,” I complained to Baer, disheartened by the fact that I may never know the kind of joy that the other patrons were able to embrace.
“Who says you can't?” he asked me.
“Well, no one, but there's always so much going on. How can I enjoy myself when I know that I've upset Callum, or that we're in the middle of a competition that could kill us? I need to be focused, to not let my guard down. I can't let go. The risk of doing so is not worth it.”
“Don't you see? Living like you're always on edge, like you have to be so guarded, never embracing the happiness when you can, is no life at all. No one can live that way forever. Those who try are doomed to live shorter lives, dying with no one and nothing to show for it,” Baer pleaded with me to understand.
“I wish I could. I just don't know how to. How do you act like everything is okay when it's not?” I was desperate for the answer to that question, and I met his gaze with the full scope of my feelings sitting right there on my sleeve for anyone to see.
“You just do it,” he said forcefully, his expression remaining serious before a mischievous smile lit his face. He stood, his chair scraping across the floor and drawing the attention of the fae sitting closest to us. He held out a palm to me. “May I have this dance?”
I gaped at him, at the sudden disregard for the emotions we had both just been feeling. Could it be so simple? Was it as easy as a choice to look on the bright side and ignore the problems? Unsure if I was actually able to let go, I decided that I would at least try. If anyone could teach me how to enjoy the moment, it would be Baer.
I smiled up at him. “I would love to.” He beamed as I placed my hand in his, letting him pull me to my feet and lead me to the dance floor.
As we approached the edge, I hesitated, fear getting the best of me. “I've never actually learned how to dance,” I whispered to him.
He stumbled slightly, his shock passing quickly as he smiled back at me. “Just follow my lead.”
“But what if I'm terrible?”
“It can't be any worse than those that never try.” He arched an eyebrow in challenge.
Squaring my shoulders, I nodded to him that I was as ready as I ever would be, my heart pounding in my chest as I stepped out onto the floor. It felt like this was a pivotal moment in my life. Something so simple as dancing with a man that I could see myself loving, if only I could learn how to embrace all that he had to offer me. My greatest fear of losing him and going through life always alone propelled me forward.
I faced him on the dance floor, one hand resting gently in his and the other on his shoulder. His large hand encircled my waist and pulled me close. He leaned in, squeezing my hip softly. “Relax and just follow my lead. I promise it'll be okay.”
He leaned back as I took a deep breath, rolling my shoulders to release the tension and slow my heart rate. He stepped backward, his hands guiding me to follow. His movements were slow and purposeful as we made our way around the floor. When I managed to not mangle his feet by stepping on them, he started to speed up, soon matching the pace and rhythm of the other dancers around us .
After three or four rounds, I started to relax, feeling the music work its way through me, trusting him to guide me through this. I closed my eyes and let myself go for the first time in my life.
I could feel a smile blooming on my face, enjoying the moment for what it was. Suddenly, I was spun around so quickly, my eyes popped open just as he twirled me back into him.
I laughed. “What was that?”
“Just adding a little extra flair.” He smirked at me, knowing I enjoyed it. When I didn't chastise him, he started spinning us both through the other couples, dipping me from time to time until we were both smiling and laughing, fully immersed in the moment.
One song bled into two and then three. My hair began sticking to my neck as I gasped for air. Pulling us toward the edge of the dance floor, I begged for a break. “I need a moment. Another drink sounds amazing.”
Still holding my hand, he simply laughed and led me back to the table where Lennox was watching us, heat smoldering in his eyes. I couldn't help the extra sway I put into my hips as I approached him. His eyes widened as if he knew I was toying with him.
As we reached the table, he held out the autumn ale to me. I drank half of it in one go, parched from dancing. “Having fun?” Lennox asked in my ear from behind.
I stiffened, not having noticed he'd stood and was now behind me. I leaned back into him, unable to stop my body from craving his. His hand went to my hip, pulling me back until I could feel his erection pressing into me. I bit my lip to hold back the moan that wanted to escape.
He ran his nose along my neck, his warm breath causing goose bumps to rise on my skin and a shiver to race down my spine. He inhaled sharply, a groan sounding from him. “You smell divine. ”
A loud laugh sounded from one of the tables near us, startling me from the moment and reminding me we were not in the privacy of our room, everything was on display for those who wanted to see.
When I tried to pull away, he held me in place, leaning down again. “Dance with me?”
I made as if to turn and he let me shift until I was facing him. Initially, I was going to say no, but the pleading look in his eyes had me capitulating to him. I couldn't turn him down, not when he was wearing his heart on his sleeve for me to see. As if my answer would mean either the start of something or the end of it. I nodded, watching as his eyes lit up with my response. I downed the rest of the ale before letting him lead me back on the dance floor, needing the liquid courage to face this.
Again, this moment felt greater than just a simple dance. It was a turning point in my life, in our relationship. It was a declaration of intent, even though we hadn't had the opportunity yet to come together in the way we both had been craving.
As we stepped out onto the dance floor, Lennox pulled me tightly into him, our bodies flush against each other from chest to thigh. He guided me around the floor in a way that made Baer and I look like toddlers learning how to walk. His movements were so fluid and graceful as if he was water, ebbing and flowing through the notes. It was intoxicating, watching him as he led me. Our eyes never left each other's as he somehow maneuvered us around the other dancers, his beauty striking in this moment, leaving me breathless.
The music slowed, becoming a melody of sin and seduction, Lennox's movements matching the notes naturally as he pulled me further into him. It was all too much and yet not enough at the same time. As if sensing my desires, he leaned down and captured my mouth in his, not slowing his movements, still guiding me through the dance. His tongue thrust in and out of my mouth, dancing with mine until I pulled away, gasping for air.
At some point, we’d stopped at the side of the dance floor, across the room from the guys. My eyes darted around, suddenly self-conscious of what we’d been doing, both his hands resting on my skin under my shirt. I didn't know when he'd managed to do that.
Through the darkness of the corner, I started to notice that we weren't the only ones affected. The other fae were in groups or couples, enjoying the company as I had been. One fae woman who looked like a banshee had her head thrown back against the wall as one man sucked on a breast which was bared to the entire pub while another was on his knees under her skirt, her moans evidence of what exactly they were doing.
Another couple further down involved two men and a woman, only one of the males was the center, the other male having pushed him against the wall until he was resting on his forearms, slightly bent at the waist. His pants were lowered enough that his ass and dick were both on display as the woman sat on her knees, letting him thrust into her mouth. The other male grabbed the globes of the man's ass squeezing and spreading his cheeks before undoing his own pants and pulling himself out, his intent clear.
I turned away with my cheeks on fire, never having seen such wanton behavior before. I swallowed, my body aching with desire, completely turned on by the sights and sounds around me. I would have never thought I’d be into watching, but I couldn't deny that I was now completely soaked.
Glancing up to Lennox when his hands squeezed my hips, demanding my attention with a groan, I saw the same desire returned, but his eyes were only for me. “Holy shit, Princess. You have no idea what you do to me. ”
Smirking at his discomfort, I couldn't help myself as I ground my hips into his, rubbing his erection against my stomach, pulling another groan from him. “You little minx,” he growled before turning us and pushing me up against the wall.
As soon as my back hit the wall, he swallowed my gasp, his mouth claiming mine and sending me up in flames. I wanted him desperately in this moment as I pulled him in closer, my hands going to his shoulders as he lifted me. Instinctively, my legs wrapped around his waist as he continued to plunder my mouth as if my kiss was air and he was a drowning man.
His hands found my breasts and began kneading them roughly. There was no tenderness in this moment, just a consuming need to feel each other fully. I broke his kiss long enough to moan as his fingers pinched my nipples, rocking my hips into his cock. The hard ridge of him rubbed me in all the right places. Unable to stop myself, I rocked my hips again and again until he stopped me.
One hand held my hips still, but instead of pulling away, his lips made their way down my neck. I arched into his tongue as it traced patterns into my skin, his teeth leaving little marks on my skin, which only drove my need higher and higher. I was thoroughly lost in the moment, my eyes closed as I let myself experience every touch. Another hand on my breast had my eyes flashing open to find Baer leaning on the wall next to us, watching me as I tried to writhe against Lennox.
“Fuck, Killer,” he said when I moaned after a pinch to my nipple. He dipped his head and kissed me lazily, in such contrast to the fevered ministrations of Lennox, that it left me somewhat lightheaded and dizzy.
A slight breeze against my skin had me coming back to myself before warm lips encircled my nipple, my loud moan swallowed by Baer. If I had thought that Lennox was captivating, both of them together had me so turned upside down that I didn't know which way was up. All I knew was that I needed more. I tried to rub my clit against the erection that was still pinned between us, but Lennox held me firmly.
I whimpered, needing more, no longer satisfied with what little we were doing. In all honesty, what we were engaging in was quite tame in comparison to the other fae. They hadn't been lying when they said the fae were sexual beings. Tonight had been proof enough.
“What the hell are you all doing?” A loud voice pierced the haze of seduction that had us drugged and caught up in its spell.
I jumped, Baer and Lennox groaning in complaint at the interruption. My cheeks flamed at the realization that I had almost let these two take me in public. And while I was totally down for both of them at once, I didn't want to do it in front of a crowd.
Callum grabbed Lennox and jerked him away from me as soon as my feet hit the ground. Baer steadied me and pulled my clothes back into place. As soon as I had my feet under me, I pushed myself between them, not happy at the caveman routine they were pulling.
“He didn't do anything that I didn't want,” I told Callum.
Callum shook his head and glared at me before looking at Lennox with disgust. “He didn't tell you that the ale has the ability to lower inhibitions and increase libido when too much is consumed?”
I blanched, partly shocked by this information, but when I evaluated what we’d been feeling, I didn't believe that. I had wanted what was going on. I even encouraged it. “He didn't take advantage of me. I still knew what I was doing and wanted everything that was happening,” I defended Lennox.
“In front of the entire pub?” he questioned further. I couldn't lie, instead, I swallowed as I held my ground, glaring up at Callum.
“That's what I thought. These two should have stopped you before you made a spectacle of yourself. You didn't know any better, but they sure did.” Callum glared at Baer this time, who ducked his head in shame. “Even I know that you're not the type to enjoy public displays, and I barely know you. They should have been the bigger fae and kept you from making a fool of yourself.”
“That's enough, Callum. I'm sure they get the point,” Arryn broke in, the voice of reason. “It's about time we all call it a night. We've got a busy couple of days ahead of us.”
With that declaration, Baer grabbed my hand and led me back to the room, leaving Callum and Lennox behind to deal with their shit while Arryn played mediator.