15. Ezra
15
EZRA
“How long were you married?” Wes asked when Jett paused.
“Three and a half years. The divorce was finalized right before I came to live with my aunts.”
“Have you dated at all since you left?” I asked.
Would that make him shut down? He’d already told us so much, but I wanted to get a better understanding of his experience with sex and dating.
He shook his head. “I went on a few dates with a girl my friend Chanel introduced me to, but those were basically just hanging out together at parties.” He dropped his eyes and stared at his knee like the winning lottery numbers were written on it. “She was nice, but I didn’t like her that way. Thank fuck she ghosted me before I had to figure out a way to tell her that.”
He lifted his gaze and peered at us through his lashes. “But that’s it.”
Jesus, he looked so young and vulnerable when he did that. But not young in the sense of his age, more like his innocence was shining through the bratty bravado he fell back on when he was feeling vulnerable.
That look did things to me it had no business doing. The only other person who’d ever stirred those kinds of feelings in me was Wes. And now Jett.
I pushed those thoughts out of my head and focused on the conversation. I’d hoped that hanging out in a no-pressure atmosphere would help calm my lust for him, but all it was doing was fueling my desire to wrap him up and protect him from the world. To give him a safe space to be himself and explore all the things he had to suppress in order to survive his upbringing.
I was attracted to him; there was no question of that, but the more time we spent with him, the harder it was to deny that I liked and wanted all of him. And I knew I wasn’t the only one grappling with those types of feelings.
“I’ve spent a lot of time working through all the homophobic shit I was exposed to growing up, so dating wasn’t really a priority for me,” he continued. “And honestly, I’m still salty about everything, so I kind of swore off dating women for a while. Any time I’ve thought of being with someone again, it was always with men.”
My body tightened as he dragged his tongue over his lower lip.
“I like both,” he said shyly.
That look hit me right in the chest. Sassy and silly Jett confused the fuck out of my dick, but shy and vulnerable Jett wreaked havoc on my emotions.
“I’m bi,” he continued, seemingly oblivious to my inner turmoil. “But after being out in the real world for the past year and a bit, I realized I’m more attracted to men. I wanted to explore that, but I didn’t know how, so I waited until I was ready.” He huffed out a laugh. “Then I went balls to the wall, so to speak, and fucked two men at the same time. No one can ever say I don’t commit to things.”
“Why did you go to the club that night?” I asked. I’d wanted to ask him for weeks, but it hadn’t come up. Now might be my only chance for a while, and I was taking it. “You said something happened, but you didn’t elaborate.”
“I found out Naomi and Jacob not only got married, but they had a baby.” He held our gazes. “My mother sent me their birth announcement after over a year of radio silence because she knew it would hurt me. I was supposed to go out with my friends, but they had to cancel, and I got in my head and made a snap decision.”
“I don’t know if this is okay to say, but I really dislike your mother,” Wes grumbled. “She’s worse than mine.”
Jett smirked. “Same. And it’s fine. I’ve pretty much accepted that she doesn’t love me. She just sees me as an extension of herself, and I did the unforgivable by becoming my own person.”
“That’s a lot to deal with, especially being so young,” Wes said in that tone that always made me feel better when I was hurting. “The adults in your life failed you by not preparing you for the real world. I hope you don’t blame yourself for anything that happened in your marriage.”
This time, Jett’s smile was small but genuine. “I don’t, not anymore. It’s just embarrassing to think about how naive I was. And it’s never fun telling people you’re divorced at twenty-three. People are judgmental assholes.”
“They are,” I agreed. “Except us. We’re amazing.”
Jett smiled wider. “You’re all right.”
“All right?” Wes put his hand over his heart. “Did you hear that, Ez?”
I did the same and added some exaggerated puppy eyes. “You wound us.”
“Fine,” Jett said with a laugh. “You’re pretty awesome.”
“We can accept that.” Wes grinned.
Jett smiled, but I could tell he was still tense by the set of his shoulders and tightness around his eyes.
“Do you want something from the kitchen?” I offered.
Hopefully, changing the subject would help him feel more relaxed. I wasn’t trying to minimize what he’d told us, but I had a feeling he’d rather think about something else now.
“I’m fine, thanks.”
“Are you fine, or do you think I’m being polite?” I asked pointedly.
A slight blush painted his cheekbones. “Polite.”
“We don’t have many options,” I said. “Just milk, soda, wine, beer, or water.”
He glanced at Wes, then flicked his gaze back to me. “What are you having?”
“I was thinking of grabbing a beer since we’re off for the day, but we don’t have to drink if you’d rather not.”
He chewed on the corner of his lip.
“Or we could skip the booze and share a joint,” Wes suggested.
Jett flicked his gaze between us. “I’ve never…”
“Smoked?” I asked.
He shook his head.
“Don’t feel pressured. We can just chill and have soda,” I said.
He chewed on the corner of his mouth again. “The only time I’ve been around people doing it was at parties where I didn’t really know anyone. I didn’t feel safe trying it then.”
“You’re safe with us,” Wes said. “You can stay as long as you need to until you feel sober again. We’ll make sure you get home.”
A defiant look replaced his earlier trepidation, then melted into a smirk. “Yeah. Fuck it. Why not.”
“I’ll be right back,” I said, heading into the kitchen to get a lighter and one of the pre-rolls we kept stashed there. I also grabbed three bottles of water, knowing we’d need them soon.
When I was back in the living room, I settled on the couch next to Wes and handed the bottles out.
Jett’s eyes dropped to the joint in my hand.
“This strain is a hybrid, but it tends to affect the mind more than the body.” I held the joint up. “It’ll make your thoughts race, but it should also relax you.”
“I turn into a chatterbox when I’m on it,” Wes said. “But it makes Ez quiet, so it all depends on how you react to it. And it gives me the giggles.”
“Talking a lot and giggling doesn’t sound too bad.” Jett stared at the joint like it was a snake ready to attack.
“It’ll also make your heart rate go up and raise your blood pressure when it’s kicking in. It can be disorienting the first time, but it’s normal and it’ll pass,” I said. “Do you still want to do it?”
He nodded.
I waited a few beats to make sure he didn’t change his mind, then put the joint between my lips and sparked the end.
“Your landlords don’t mind you doing it in the apartment?” Jett asked, his eyes on my mouth as I dragged in a deep breath, the smoke from the joint rolling around in my lungs.
“Nope.” Wes took the joint as I blew out my breath. “They’re chill as long as we air the place out and don’t burn anything.” He lifted the joint to his lips.
“You’ll probably cough,” I said as Wes inhaled. “Don’t fight it, or it’ll get worse.”
Wes handed him the joint, blowing the smoke out of the corner of his mouth.
Jett took it and awkwardly fit it between his fingers.
“Take a small puff at first, just to get used to it if you’ve never smoked anything before,” I said.
Lifting the joint, he took a minuscule drag, the cherry flaring orange and going back to ash as he blew out a tiny cloud of smoke.
“How did that feel?”
“Not bad.”
“Try taking a longer drag. Breathe in for a count of one, then hold for another count of one, then exhale.”
He did as I said.
Just as he was finishing his exhale, he started coughing.
Leaning over, I took the joint from him and drew another drag off it as he composed himself.
“Well, that’s embarrassing.” He cleared his throat. “Total newb, right?”
“Don’t be embarrassed, it’s normal.” I passed Wes the joint.
“I nearly hacked up a lung the first time I smoked.” Wes chuckled. “Mind you, I was an idiot who thought taking a rip off a three-foot-tall bong as my first hit was a smart decision.”
Jett snickered, his posture relaxing. “How did that go for you?”
“Not great. I coughed so hard I nearly passed out, then I got so high Ez had to babysit me so I didn’t wander off and get lost in my quest for snacks.”
I leaned back against the couch, my body relaxing, and a pleasant tingle moved through my body.
Jett snickered, the sound morphing into a giggle as Wes took his hit.
Wes passed Jett the joint. “How do you feel?”
“A bit weird.” Jett poked his cheek. “My face is tingling.”
“Is that bad?” I asked.
“Don’t know.” Jett took another drag off the joint. He blew out a stream of smoke and extended it to me. “I don’t think I’m feeling it.”
“You are.” Wes grinned as I took a hit. “But it takes about twenty minutes to fully kick in. Then you’ll really feel it.”
We passed the joint around one more time, then stubbed it out when it was done.
“My mouth tastes funny.” Jett made smacking noises like a cow chewing cud.
“Drink some water,” I suggested. “Weed gives me dry mouth too.”
He unscrewed the top of his bottle and put it to his lips.
I looked away as he drank, not trusting myself to not stare at his throat in my slightly altered state.
I had a decent tolerance, and sharing a joint between three people wasn’t enough to get me high, but I was feeling it by the slight tingle in my limbs and the way my thoughts kept wandering.
Jett capped his bottle and started giggling again. “I don’t know what’s funny,” he said, shooting Wes a bewildered look, even as he kept laughing.
“Just lean into it.” Wes emphasized his point by leaning back against the couch. “Nothing matters right now except existing.”
“Has Quinn ever told you about that theory that says we’re all part of a simulation and nothing is real?” Jett asked, settling back against the chair, his entire body relaxing. “Makes you wonder if we exist at all.”
“A few times.” I smirked. “But Jesse is worse.”
“Quinn’s stepbrother?” Jett asked.
I nodded. “He’s been going on about that shit for years. Simulation theory, the Fermi paradox. Stuff like the Great Filter and the Dark Forest theory. Those are his Roman Empires.”
Jett started giggling. “That was a lot of words, and I have no idea what any of them mean.”
“I’ve been listening to him talk about that stuff for years, and I’m right there with you.” Wes elbowed me in the side. “This one is the philosopher between us. He gets all that existential shit.”
Jett looked at me with big, wide eyes. “I’m not surprised.”
“You’re not?” I smiled as the tingles in my limbs intensified. It was hitting, but I was still in control of myself.
“Nope. It’s always the brooding ones who have the deepest thoughts. And you brood like the broodiest brooder who ever brooded.”
“Say that three times fast,” Wes said with a snicker.
“Brood like the broodiest brooder who ever brooded. Brood like the boobiest boober...” Jett dissolved into giggles. “Boobiest boober.”
“Sounds like a straight dude trying to write romance.” Wes let out a bark of laughter. “Oh my god, do you remember that line Quinn showed us in that book he read?” he asked, slapping my thigh lightly.
“You mean the bouncing boobifully one?”
“Bouncing boobifully?” Jett cackled. “What the hell?”
“I still think it was a typo because I refuse to believe that anyone would write that in a book,” I said.
“Write what?” Jett asked. “I need more than just boobiful bouncing boobies.”
Wes laughed so hard he snorted, which set Jett off even more.
“The line was ‘and she descended the stairs, her breasts bouncing boobifully,’” I said, keeping my voice as solemn and serious as possible.
“Oh my fucking god.” Jett held his stomach. “I’m dead,” he wheezed.
“This one,” Wes slapped my thigh again. “Thinks they meant to write beautifully, but I want to live in the world where boobifully was a deliberate choice.”
“I’m gonna use that at some point. Maybe the next time Chanel asks me how she looks.” Jett’s smile was wide and a bit goofy. “I’ll tell her her shirt makes her look boobiful.”
“Please do that and tell me what she says. Pretty please with a cherry on top.” Wes made begging hands at him.
“Cherry.” Jett snickered, his eyes glassy. The weed was kicking in for real now. “Why do they call someone’s virginity a cherry? Like, they could have called it anything, but they went with cherry. So weird.”
“Sooooo weird,” Wes agreed. “But like, no other fruit sounds less weird. Cantaloupe? Watermelon? Mango?”
“Can you imagine if they called it a mango?” Jett was laughing so hard he kept snorting. “Then you guys woulda taken my mango.”
Wes nearly doubled over with the giggles. “I’m never gonna look at a mango without seeing your ass again.”
“What about when you look at a peach?” Jett asked with a cheeky grin.
“That too. I’m gonna be popping wood all over the produce section next time I go grocery shopping.”
Jett let his head fall back against the chair, his laughter petering out. “That’s literally my life right now. Every damn thing reminds me of you guys and I’m literally always hard. Like always . I can’t even use my favorite dildo without being sad it’s not your dick. Plastic peen is not it. Whew.” He blew out a breath. “Okay, that feels weird.”
“Weird good, or weird bad?” Wes asked.
“Good.” He shifted in his seat and pressed the heel of his hand against his crotch. “Not sure if it’s the weed or the talking, but my dick is very happy right now.”
“That’s normal.” Wes motioned at the bulge in his sweats. “I get weed boners too.”
“Weed boners.” Jett huffed out a laugh. “Better than whiskey dick. I regret not jerking off in your shower earlier.”
“You totally should have.” Wes beamed a big, happy smile at him. “Wanna know a secret?” he asked, lowering his voice.
“Of course I do.” Jett leaned in like he was about to hear the winning lotto numbers.
“Ez sucked me off while you were in the shower.” He let out a weird little snort-giggle. “I was scared you were gonna hear us, but that just made the O even better.”
“Wanna know another secret?” Jett whispered conspiratorially.
“What?” Wes whispered back.
“I heard you. That’s why I finished so quick. I wanted to hear more.” His grin went heated, but the effect was ruined when he giggled. “I like this feeling.”
“What feeling?” I asked.
I’d been about to steer the conversation away from sex and jerking off. My entire body was tight with desire, and my mind was having a field day picturing all the things I wanted to do with him and Wes, but now wasn’t the time for any of that.
We were all under the influence. None of us could consent to anything right now, and talking about it would just make us want something we couldn’t have.
“Not worrying about everything I say or do.” His bottom lip came out in a pout that was way too sexy. “It’s like I don’t know how to talk to people when I’m myself. The guys at work, you, Chanel, and Becks are the only people who like me for me. Everyone else only likes me when I pretend to be what they want me to be. I hate it.”
“You can always say or do what you want with us,” Wes said before I could. “Well, other than try to murder us or break all our shit. That might be hard to come back from.”
The corner of Jett’s mouth tilted up in a smirk. “I promise I won’t try to murder you or break all your shit.” His smile fell. “My brain went to the bad place. It’s spinning, and I don’t wanna think about this stuff now.”
Wes pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Wanna listen to some music? It helps when my brain is doing zoomies and I don’t like what it makes me think about.”
Jett nodded, and Wes unlocked his phone.
I sat back as they discussed what music to play.
Things with Jett were going to be complicated no matter what happened between us, but right then, the only thing I wanted to focus on was enjoying our evening off and making sure Jett had a good first experience with weed.
I could worry about what everything meant later.