Chapter Thirteen
“You could say no to so many opportunities in life, but what happens if you say no to the one thing fate wants you to say yes to.” - Archer
DEREK
The text that arrives is unexpected.
Not because Birdie texting me is a new thing. Since our day at the farmers’ market, we’ve found ourselves texting often, even if it’s just sharing funny videos back and forth, checking in at the end of the day, or just sending a random have a nice day text.
Which is why I feel my stomach clench in horror when I read the words on the screen.
ELIZABETH: Hey, I know this is last minute, but would you be available to babysit tonight?
It was Saturday night. A notorious date night that is well-known all over the world. And one that apparently Elizabeth is using to her advantage.
The crushing disappointment follows me as I change my clothes, heading out the door for another night of babysitting. I love Rora, she’s one of the coolest little kids I’ve ever met. But I don’t want to just be going over there to babysit.
Family night? Hell yeah.
Babysitting and watching the woman I’m damn near gone for going on a date with another man? Yeah… not what I want at all.
I can’t help but think back to my last girlfriend. Stace was obsessed with me, and at first it had been something I loved, something I craved, and having her around when my friends were falling into relationships made me feel like I was keeping up with them.
It wasn’t until late into the game that I realized what we had wasn’t healthy, that her obsession with me, while flattering, was her trying to control and manipulate me.
And me relying on her was based in fear and being dependent on her to give me what I thought I always wanted.
Garrett was the one who helped me get myself out of that situation.
As I arrive at their apartment, I stand in front of the door and talk myself into telling her how I feel. I’m bound to lose a new friendship if she turns me down, which will crush me. But I can’t just sit around and watch her do this, knowing how I feel.
However, when she opens the door, my words are lost.
She’s wearing a blue summer dress that brings out her eyes and her creamy skin tone. Her smile is wider than I’ve ever seen before, her lips are painted in a soft pink, and her hair is curled in the same fashion it was for her last date.
“Hey!” she says brightly, enveloping me in a hug that I relish. My hands slide around her waist, her warm skin touching mine before it ends too quickly. My fingers still feel like they’re buzzing with energy.
“You look stunning,” I state, not holding back the slight edge to my voice. Some other guy gets to enjoy that, gets to fawn all over her, tell her how gorgeous she is, and probably—most likely—not appreciate anything he has right in front of him like I would.
“Thank you.” She does a cute twirl that reminds me of her daughter and grins at me. “It’s a new dress.”
“Special occasion?” Maybe she’s going out with her sister, maybe her family has something and it’s too chaotic for Rora, and she just wants Rora to be somewhere safe.
I can handle that.
“Just a little date, no big deal.” She bites her lips with nerves and walks to the kitchen on her bare feet. “Rora, look who’s here.”
“Derek!” I brace myself for impact as the little blonde girl leaps into my arms. She’s going to be a ballerina someday with moves like that. “You came to play with me!”
And just like that, any anger, confusion, frustration, or disappointment I feel melts away. “Of course I did. Been looking forward to it!”
“Yay!” She wiggles to get down, and I let her, smiling as she latches onto my hand and drags me to the table that’s still covered in her art supplies. The apartment is small, so it makes good sense that Birdie lets her use the kitchen for her arts and crafts.
I turn to see Birdie staring at us, a wide smile on her face. There’s a delicious smell coming from the oven, and I crinkle my eyebrows. “Are you cooking for us?”
I didn’t come with a pizza tonight, I was planning on just ordering something in.
Birdie shrugs, her go-to move, and sends me a smile that I reciprocate because I can’t help myself. “I just thought it would be nice, since you offered to help so last minute, and I’m very glad you could come.”
Sweet. So damn sweet. I nearly crack a tooth from grinding my teeth together.
I turn my attention back to Rora so that Birdie can’t see my expression. “That’s great. It smells phenomenal.”
“Thanks!” she says brightly from behind my head, completely oblivious to the warring that’s going on within it.
I’m dying to just blurt it out, right then and there, to tell her that I’m falling for her.
That I don’t want her to go on another date, that she is the only freaking thought that was constantly circling in my head.
But I can’t bring myself to do it. I can’t focus on anything.
Rora distracts me when she flips a whole tube of glue over and starts squeezing like her life depends on it. Her little grunting from exertion makes me chuckle, and I calmly take it from her. “You got some glue covering the end. It’s making that way harder than you need.”
She watches as I peel the glue off, smiling brightly when I hand it back to her, and she starts to apply a pipe cleaner to a piece of paper with the glue. She’s so focused, and I’m focused on her, that I don’t realize the whole kitchen has gone quiet.
When I turn back, I see Birdie slicing bread on the counter, smiling softly to herself. She must be excited about this date of hers, and I can’t fault her for that.
So what if we had crushed on each other when we were kids? So what if I’ve spent every moment this past week thinking about her, about what I would like to do if I had the free will to do it? So what if I’m pretty sure she’s the one for me?
She doesn’t know any of that, because I’m a fucking moron who never told her.
I look over at her and watch for a moment, her attention is so focused that she doesn’t see me watching her.
Her fingers deftly cut the bread, she easily throws back a shoulder, and her long hair moves out of her way.
Just watching her has a lump forming in my throat, so I clear it and say, “I can do that, you go ahead on your date.” The words taste like vinegar coming out, but it’s the right thing to say.
Birdie pauses and glances over at me. “Are you sure?”
“Of course, Rora and I have this,” I say, flashing her a confident grin. No use in making her think I can’t handle some garlic bread and a four-year-old.
That won’t get me very far.
My friends would balk if they saw me now, being a domestic with a woman who is going on another date. I’m being who I normally am, a very dependable friend.
And it is damn near killing me.
Birdie leaves the kitchen, and I stand, making sure Rora looks occupied for a few minutes while I finish slicing the bread, buttering it, and sliding it into the oven on the top rack. The bottom has a full-sized homemade lasagna.
Dammit. She can cook, like really cook, and this night just gets more and more crushing to my soul.
Heels click down the hallway, and I turn my head, my eyes eating up every inch of this woman as she walks toward me. She has some sort of brown wedge sandals on, and a cardigan now covers her shoulders.
She reaches for her purse, bending just enough that I tell myself to look away from her, but my eyes refuse to obey my command, and when she turns to look at me again, I’m positive she knows I was just checking her out.
“Okay, I have my phone, and you know where the emergency numbers are,” she says to me, smiling brightly. There’s a twinkle in her eye, something secretive about it that I don’t quite understand. “Rora, behave for Derek, okay? No fighting bedtime.”
“She would never, would you, Rora?” I finally say, giving Rora a goofy face.
She giggles loudly and nods her head. “Nope!” She runs a crayon roughly over her paper and tells Birdie she loves her when she bends to give her a hug.
Turning back to me, she smiles and says, “Thank you so much. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
And then, I watch her walk out the door to go out with anyone who isn’t me.