Chapter Fourteen
“Taking a chance is scary as heck. What if the one chance you take is the time you fall flat on your face? But you never know until you try.” - Jane
ELIZABETH
Tapping my fingernail against the steering wheel of my car, I watch the movement behind the shade as I think. My phone sits on speakerphone while I wait. “How long until I return?”
“I mean, it’s been ten minutes. At least pretend you started to drive somewhere.” My sister’s voice echoes around my car. She was being the best and became scarce when I told her my plan.
“But that would be so pointless when we both know I’m coming right back here and pretending this date fell through.”
Hattie laughs over the line, and I feel a flush working over my cheeks. When I came up with this plan, I don’t know that I really thought through just how much effort was going to go into it.
It came to me just yesterday morning, when a text from Derek had come through, and I found myself grinning nonstop.
DEREK: Hello beautiful, it’s supposed to rain today. Rora might want a coat for school.
It was the most thoughtful and wonderful text I’ve ever received, and it had nothing to even do with me. I mean, he did call me beautiful, but how thoughtful he is with my daughter sends me over the edge every time.
But it was that text that made me decide that I wanted to ask Derek on a real, proper date.
However, that’s hard to do when you’re a straight-up coward and have a real and relentless fear of rejection.
So I came up with a plan to ask him to babysit, because I had a feeling he wouldn’t say no to that. I felt bad when I did it, and even sitting in the car now, that guilt creeps in.
“Why not just see if he could get lunch today? That’s like a super low-pressure date.”
I hear voices in the background and know she and her coworker best friend, Meredith, are watching some random reality TV show. That is where Hattie is hiding out tonight, and I was so grateful when she agreed with little to no questions when I told her my plan.
“Because he could have said no,” I argue, a grumble in my voice. Mostly because I’m hyper-aware that my sister is right and that would have been a much simpler move.
“But now I one hundred percent know that boy thinks he is fully friend-zoned. Any hope he might have had about the two of you was dashed the moment he saw your blue sundress.”
I frown and glance down at said dress. “How did you know I was wearing the blue sundress?”
Hattie snorts. “Please. It’s your favorite, and you look stunning in it. I know you wanted to look your absolute best for him. It’s a no-brainer.”
Letting out a deep sigh, I catch another glimpse of shadows behind the shades and turn my car off. “I’m going in.”
“Woo!” My sister whoops, and I smile, biting the inside of my lip. “Go get your man!”
“Ugh, shush,” I tease and hang up the call.
Taking another much-needed deep breath, I pull the car handle and let myself out.
It’s dark already, nearing that time again when the clock would flip back an hour and we would have five p.m. sunsets.
I need to get Rora a Halloween costume and go shopping for some fun things to do with her in the evenings when she is home.
I love doing crafts with her and making the most of each and every holiday.
I want her to remember me as the mom who made things fun for her, who gave her some amazing memories for her to cherish for the rest of her life.
I clear my mind of thoughts of my daughter and the daunting, never-ending list of things to do and slip my key into the door, turning it quickly and letting myself in.
Derek immediately pops around the wall that separates the living room from the kitchen and gives me a confused look. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”
Shaking my head, I say, “No, no. I’m not hurt at all.” Butterflies swarm rapidly when I step inside, tossing my cardigan and purse on the side table and slipping off my shoes.
“What happened?” Derek’s face shows visible concern, making me feel a smidgen bad for what I set up.
“Oh, I guess he just didn’t want to meet up after all.”
Eyebrows nearly touching his hairline, his gaze moves over me. There’s a confused smile on his lips, and I have to bite mine to keep from bursting out everything I set up tonight. Lying to Derek is supremely hard to do.
“Someone stood you up?”
The emphasis on “you” makes me blush, and I shrug, stepping around him and into the kitchen. Rora hops up and rushes me. “Mommy! You just left.”
I can’t tell if she’s happy or bummed that I’m here again, but I smile and smooth back her hair. “I’m back. Now I can eat dinner with you.”
Her bottom lip pokes out, and her eyes widen. “But I want Derek to eat with me.”
I turn my head around to him and see him thinking of what to say. This was the entire point of him coming, so I turn back to her and say, “Well, there’s more than enough for three.”
I step into the kitchen, smiling at the perfectly browned garlic bread and still steaming lasagna, and sigh. “I guess it’s a good thing I made so much.”
Derek steps closer, his gaze loose and expression soft. “I don’t have to stay if you don’t want me to.”
I look at him, and for half a second, I debate using Rora again, saying how upset she would be if he left and guilting him into staying.
But I’ve already done enough to get us this far. From this point on, I would only use honesty and hope that he’s feeling the same things I was.
“I would really like it if you stayed and had dinner with us.”
There. It’s out there.
Not exactly asking him out, but something close.
Derek’s eyes smile at me—I’m not sure how he does that, but I do not want him to stop—and he nods his head. “Then let’s eat.”