Chapter 13
Baring the pages of my life.
JIMMY
My fist hovers near the hardwood door. Should I knock again?
The lights are off. Aditya must be asleep.
Sahil and Kiron had cornered me and given me a solid dressing down.
Once they left, I spent hours going over their words and the day's events.
My guilt tripled, and I rushed to make things right with Aditya.
Kiron made me realise how harsh my words were. I hurt Aditya with a low blow. Like all my other friends, he only wanted to help, excited about my prospects. Kiron is correct; the decision on the Delhi assignment is mine, but I cannot ruin my relationships.
I step down the stairs and look at the windows, but there is still no light. The night is going to be long and restless. Letting out a sigh of resignation, I turn to leave. The hinge squeaks, and the door opens.
“Hey. What are you doing here so late? Are you okay?” Aditya's voice is a whisper.
His eyes are tired and swollen. Has he been crying?
“Did I wake you up? I—I—” The words clog my throat, but my mind pushes through. “Can I come in?”
Aditya steps aside, giving me space to walk inside. We stand facing each other; the silence weighs heavy on me. I nudge his pinky finger. He clasps my hand and squeezes — a sign, a relief. He is ready to give me another chance.
“Addy, I am sorry. I let my frustration poison my words with bitterness.”
He glances at me and lowers his head. The silence of the night enables me to hear his words. “I am sorry too, for crossing the line.”
“No,” I step closer and grab his shoulder. “You only wanted the best for me. I acted like a jackass.”
This time, he looks at me; the faint light from the foyer glints on the tears in Aditya's eyes.
“Oh, Addy, please forgive me.” I hold his face in my palms and wipe the wetness from his eyes.
“Only if you tell me what riled you up today.” His arms wrap around my waist.
My shoulders drop. I guess there is no walking away from this adult talk.
“Where I come from, pride and clan trump everything else. Romantic love is a foreign language, and marriages are arranged based on stature. Sacrifice for the family is the only language they understand.” I hide my face in the nook of his neck, not wanting him to see my watering eyes.
Aditya’s grip tightens. “But you are their only son. How can they throw you out?” He rubs my back.
A warm comfort settles in my chest. I decide to open up the sordid chapters of my past.
“They did not throw me out. I ran away. The other options were to get married to whoever they chose or...”
“Or what?”
“Or die. If I had resisted, no one would even find my body. The day they locked me in the back room at the farm, I started planning my escape. At the first opportunity, I ran. On the highway to Delhi, I convinced a truck driver. He dropped me at Haridwar. I spent two days there before making my way to Almora.”
“What about money? How did you manage?”
“I only had the clothes on my body, a fancy watch, and my trainer shoes. I sold them at a shop in Haridwar, but the cash only bought me meals for two days. While searching for a job, I heard someone talking about a new resort in Almora. A promise of cleaning the mini-bus bought me the trip to Almora. After a lot of pleading and hearing about my boxing, Mr Bhatia offered me a job as a gym cleaner. I never let him down, putting in extra effort to help clients after watching online videos. Within six months, he promoted me to a trainer.”
“Jimmy, you are so brave. I can't imagine doing all this at your age.” He peppers me with kisses on my cheeks and stares at me with fondness and admiration.
This man. I will revere the ground he walks on for as long as he lets me. I plant a soft kiss on his forehead. “You did not ask me why I am so averse to lying?”
This time, he avoids my gaze, resting his forehead on my shoulder. My hopes come crashing down. The accompanying silence makes me uneasy, and I step away from him, but he pulls me into a tight hug.
“I understand you must have a solid reason. You can tell me when you are ready. This Delhi job is not the end. You will always find something else, but the agency’s offer can be a starting point from which you can build a life.”
I hold his face so he does not avoid my gaze.
“Addy, my cousin, Jatinder, ratted me out to my father. He photographed me kissing a boy behind the school. Later, I learned Jatinder had paid Shan to entice me into the trap. My whole life crumbled after the people nearest to me betrayed me. Jatinder and I were the same age. We grew up as neighbours, with our houses sharing a common wall. We ate together, played as a team, and worked out in the boxing ring as sparring partners. And Shan...” I gulp down the lump in my throat.
“A dear friend became a lover. We were together for two years. Confiding our deepest secrets. Spent nights lying on the machan in the field gazing at the stars, making plans for a shared future.”
Aditya catches the tear trickling down my cheek with a kiss. He whispers, “Jimmy, I am sorry. I should never have pushed without understanding your reasons. But, whatever you decide, your friends and I will always be with you.”
I let the words settle around us. The chirping crickets in the night are the only witnesses to the connection forming between us.
The yearning in his eyes makes me gather him in my arms. He rests his head on my shoulder, runs his hands on my back, and digs in with his fingers.
His chest hums against mine as we stand holding each other.
“I thought I lost you,” Aditya whispers in my ear. I don't have many friends.” He stares at me. “Will you be my friend?”
“What if I want to be more than a friend?” I tuck an errant lock of hair behind his ear and look into his eyes.
“I am too old for you.” Aditya voices his pet concern.
“What if I am into older men?”
He stares at me for a bit. I hold his gaze, hoping he sees the truth of my words.
Aditya rises on his toes and presses his lips to mine.
I prod his mouth open by nipping his lower lip.
He moans and leans into me. I grab his thighs and lift him.
He wraps his legs around me, placing our groins against each other.
The firm ridge of his erection against mine sends a delicious shiver down my spine.
His hands hold my head still as he takes pleasure in kissing me — our tongues duel in rhythm with our groins.
When Aditya starts to hump against me, my legs stumble. I grip him tight and break our kiss. “Addy. Bed. Now.”
He points to the first floor. He clings to me, his hands wrapped around my shoulders, his neck buried in the nook of my neck, and his legs circling my waist. I carry him to his bedroom and place him gently on the bed before kneeling between his thighs.
He reaches out and rubs his knuckles on my cheek. The longing in his eyes is unmistakable, but his forehead is furrowed. I run a finger and smoothen the skin folds. “Relax.”
Addy lets out the breath he is holding. I withdraw my hand, but he grabs it and kisses my palm.
The wet tip of his tongue against the roughened skin on my hand sends blood rushing to my groin.
I push his hands and place them on the edge of the bed.
The tent in Aditya's groin is inviting. I nudge the bulge with my nose and nip the stiff shaft.
“J-i-m-m-y.” He groans.