Chapter 30
THIRTY
Grey
I follow Atlas through the exit into a blinding white hall.
I have no idea where he’s going. I tried to talk to him at the bar, but he just got up and pushed his way through the crowd.
We turn down another hallway, and he shocks me by grabbing me.
He grips my sleeves with alarming strength.
I know he’s drunk as hell, but I’ve seen him drunk before, and this is different. “What’s going on with you?”
“How can you not see it!?” His blue eyes swim, glassy and heavy with something I can’t place. What is happening to him?
“You’re shit-faced drunk right now. What is going on with you?” This isn’t him. Yes, he has problems, but this is on a whole different level than what I’m used to. I’ve always been able to handle him, but I can’t handle this. I can’t handle something that I can’t understand.
He shakes his head then leans in, pressing his lips to mine. What the fuck! My fingers twist in his tux sleeve trying to make sense of what the fuck is actually happening right now. What is he doing?! My limbs are frozen. I can’t move.
The scuff of a shoe echoes through the hall. I wrench away and see Felix watching us. No. Fuck! No, this isn’t happening. He turns and runs, nearly tripping over himself to get away. “Get the fuck off me, Atlas.” I hear a door slam down the hall.
“Why him, Grey?!” He stumbles a little to grab me. I hold him up. He’s so drunk right now.
“What the fuck, Atlas?!” I hold him back, his bloodshot eyes blinking at the reality he just pushed us into. I need to go find Felix and explain, but Atlas looks seconds away from passing out. I can’t just leave him out here alone. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“Grey, I—” He swallows. “I’m—”
“Atlas.” I shake him a little. “You’re drunk.”
“I’m not . . . I mean, I am but I . . . I love you.”
What the hell is happening? No, he’s just . . . he’s just drunk, he . . . even as I try to make excuses, it’s like every question I have is answered. Andre and Oli’s looks. The things Felix has asked about. Atlas and his attitude toward Felix. No.
Why didn’t I see it?
No, this is crazy. He’s just drunk. “No you don’t, Atlas. You think you—”
“Don’t tell me what I feel,” he sobs. Okay, he’s fucking wasted. “It’s been you and me for years, and then you fall for the first fucking guy you’re around!” I have to go find Felix. “Why not me, Grey? Why?”
I hear the doors open and think it’s Felix, but I see Oli burst through. “What the hell are you guys doing? Felix just ran out of—” And then he sees it, sees Atlas’s state, and puts two and two together. “Shit.”
“Shit is right.” I snap. “What the fuck, Atlas?”
“Hey.” Oli steps between us, pushing me back. “Go easy on him, alright?”
“Go easy?! Felix just saw us kissing! Or him kissing me.”
“Grey.” Atlas presses his palms to his eyes, stumbling forward. Oli catches him around the waist. “Please just listen to me.”
The doors open again. This time Andre and Knox appear a second later. “What’s going on?” Oli and Andre share a look. “Oh, shit.”
How many of them know?! “Are you guys fucking joking? No one felt like I should know?!”
“What’s that thing you always say?” Oli thinks. “Not my story to tell?”
“Fuck off, and fuck you for knowing and not saying anything.” Closing my eyes, I breathe deep. I’m so pissed.
“Hey,” Andre snaps. “Don’t talk to him like that. You know if it were the other way around, you’d keep Atlas’s secrets.”
“In fact, you do. You know shit about him I don’t.” Oli gets in my face. I don’t have fucking time for this bullshit right now. “What’s with his tattoo, Grey, huh? Who’s Penn?” I catch Atlas flinch in my periphery. I glare at him, stone-faced and pissed as hell. “That’s what I thought.”
I don’t have time for this. I push Oli out of my face. “I know his upbringing. Not that he’s in love with you!”
“Grey—” Atlas swallows.
“I can’t do this with you right now.” I need to find Felix. “Did you see him leave?”
Oli’s fight deflates and he nods. “Yeah, he went toward the hotel.” He’s in our room, upset. I Just need to find him. “I need to go.”
“Grey, wait—” I pull out of Atlas’s grip.
“Hey.” Knox steps between us, breaking his hold on my tux. “Why don’t you come with me, yeah? You need to drink some water. Come on.” He looks at us. “I got him. You guys go.”
Heartbreak shines in Atlas’s eyes, but I just can’t deal with him right now. I’m in shock, even if no one else around me seems to be. “Grey, please?”
“Go with Knox. I need to find Felix.” Atlas stares at me a moment longer before going off with the Viper.
I need my brain to slow down. I need to focus or make sense of this.
Guilt grips me, but I can’t with Atlas right now.
I just can’t. Knox slings his arm around Atlas as he leads him away.
Atlas looks back briefly, and that part of me that loves him deeply wants to go to him, but I just can’t.
I can’t believe this. How many secrets do we all keep from each other?
Oli kept Andre from me. Hell, Oli didn’t know I was gay until this season.
And Atlas. Oli and Andre both knew, and neither said a thing. “How long have you known?”
Oli’s gaze slides to Andre before leveling me with his blue eyes, much darker than the electric blue of the man who just broke my heart. “I didn’t know officially. It’s not like Atlas told us. We just had a feeling.”
“A feeling? And neither of you wanted to let me know that man was in love with me?! My best fucking friend.” While I’m pissed off, I also feel like shit.
I hurt him, and I hate that I didn’t even know it.
I wouldn’t have stopped loving Felix because of him, but I would have been more delicate around him. I could have talked to him.
Andre steps between Oli and me. “Look. When you got injured, he was fucking manic. The way he acted at the hospital . . . I just thought he had a crush. I didn’t realize how deep it went.”
“I need to find Felix.” One problem at a time. I’ll talk to Atlas when he sobers up.
“He left through the front. He said he didn’t feel well and was going up to the room.”
“I need to go find him. I’ll deal with this later.”
It’s just a short walk to the hotel and my leg is already aching. I haven’t lost the shadows following behind me, though. “You guys can stay; I don’t need you to come.”
“You’re limping like a son of a bitch, and we want to help explain to Felix.”
“He looked upset,” Andre says. “And I’m offering a piggyback ride if you need it.”
“Excuse me, you are not letting any other man ride you like that,” Oli growls.
“Oli, save the possessiveness for the bedroom. We’re on a mission right now,” Andre chastises him.
While I’m pissed as hell at them both, I have to say, “I’m really sorry about your wedding. I’m fine. You don’t have to come. Go enjoy yourselves.”
“It’s fine. I already got to dance with this gorgeous man,” Oli says.
“I danced; you followed. Can’t dance for shit.” Oli glares at Andre. “Fuck I love you.”
We wait for the elevator to our room. My leg is screaming but I need to get to him.
Everything I’ve ever thought about Atlas and me is flashing like a projection in my brain. We’re best friends. Nothing will change that. Atlas is the little brother I never had. I love him like I love Alyssa, but I’m not in love with him.
We get to my floor and I beeline for my room, but something prickles at the back of my neck.
Something feels off. It’s like a thick quiet energy that’s hard to breathe in.
The fear I feel is heightened when I see our door open.
“Felix!” I run toward it, my knee screaming at me to slow own, but I don’t care. “What the fuck?!”
Inside, everything feels the same but something is different. “Felix?” I go to the balcony and even to Atlas’s joined door and peek in. Not that I thought he’d be in there. Something is off. Why is our door open like that? “We need to go back down to the front desk now.”
“Whoa, slow down, what’s going on?” Oli presses his hands to my chest.
“I need help. I need someone to show me the security footage. I need to see something.”
“Grey, relax. He probably just got upset. Let him cool off.” Andre tries to reassure me.
“No, you don’t get it.” I run my fingers through my hair. “We need to ask for help.”
“Grey—”
“It’s his ex. I know it.” I can feel it.
“His ex?”
My eyes meet Andre’s and it’s like everything clicks for him as well. “Come on. We need to go see if we can get someone to check security for us,” I beg them.
“Do you really think he’d come all the way here?”
Yes. I do. I think Steven is more dangerous than even Felix knows. I think we embarrassed him and his ego can’t take it. I could be paranoid. I could be wrong. What I won’t be is ignorant enough to believe that abusive fuck won’t go to any lengths to get Felix back.
What if he does have him?
“If he touches a fucking hair on his head.”
“Hey.” Oli places his hand on my shoulder, squeezing. “Let’s go check. No matter what, we don’t leave someone behind, and we certainly don’t let abusers win.”
I limp toward the desk, trying to be mindful of how much pain I’m in. I see a woman dressed in a black security uniform and walk up to her instead. “Hello. I need security.”
She pushes her black glasses up, half her attention on me and the other half looking at the computer. “What can I help you with, sir?”
“My partner is missing. I went up to my room and our door is wide open. Nothing taken. He is missing, though. I want to see the camera footage for our floor and see if anyone—”
“I’m sorry, sir. You’re going to have to—”
Oli puts a stack of money down on the desk. “Show him the tapes.” He leans into Andre, whispering, “I’ve always wanted to do that.”
She glances down at the money then back to him, then to me. “I don’t get paid enough for this.” She pockets the money then stands. “Right, this way. First, we’re going to the desk and having the receptionist confirm that’s your room. That you’re not spying on other guests.”