Chapter 35
THIRTY FIVE
Grey
“How are you doing?” Felix whispers in my ear.
I pull my attention from our Coach singing my praises.
It’s been about half an hour of my colleagues, commentators, and family singing my talking about my life as a hockey player.
I’m not a crier, but I’ve barely held it together.
This game means the world to me, but knowing I’ve made an impact on everyone who has stood at that podium means more.
I look up and around, watching all the fans in the stands. The ice is bathed in soft green as we get through my jersey-retirement ceremony. I’ve thought a lot about this day and what it might look like.
Nothing in my dreams could have compared to this. My family is here. Oli is here. My friends from our team, and our coach. To add to it all, Felix is here beside me.
There’s just one more person I wish could be here, but he has his own path to walk down now. “I’m okay.” Felix’s hand squeezes in mine. My throat grows tight.
“Grey . . .” I look up at my best friend standing at the podium, the current reason for the sting in my eyes as he recounts the career we’ve shared.
It’s really over. It hits harder than I thought it would.
I’m excited for the new chapter of my life, but that doesn’t mean I can’t mourn my old one.
“It’s been an honor to play the greatest game in the world in the greatest arena in the world.
With the greatest fans in the world. Beside the greatest team in the world.
” Everyone stands clapping hard. Oli waits for them to stop.
“When I came to Oregon, I didn’t know anything about being a leader, but you taught me what it meant to be a leader, a captain, and a man. ”
“Ah shit, I’m going to cry,” I whisper. Alyssa chuckles beside me, looping her arm around my shoulders as my hand tightens in Felix’s.
My eyes slide to Oli, standing at the podium in a gray suit.
“It’s been an honor to be your teammate and best friend.
The athletes at Liberty State have the greatest man in the world to lead them to victory.
” The crowd is deafening as Oli steps down.
I guess it’s my time to shine. The arena cheers louder as Oli steps up to me.
“You’re making me cry, you fucking prick,” Oli whispers as he hugs me with all his strength.
“Fuck you right back. Now I have to go up there choking back tears.”
Oli pulls back. I’m going to miss the hell out of him. “You’re going to be incredible out there. It won’t be the same here this year without you.”
“I’m going to punch you if you don’t stop.
” He just grins wide, clapping me on the back.
I make my way to the podium and look out at the ice.
I’ve never seen it quite like this. I take it in.
It won’t be the last time I’m here; I know that.
I’ll come to visit. I’ll come for games, and of course I’ll come back for my sister and her little growing family.
I wait for the applause to stop. “First, I want to thank the Otters organization for giving me a home these last twelve years. I want to thank my fellow teammates and their families. Thank you to my friends and former teammates for coming tonight.”
I look to my side and see Oli. “I want to thank our captain for always being by our side and always having our back. I want to thank my sister, Alyssa, for always being there by my side and believing in me. This past year, that wasn’t easy.
” I earn a few chuckles through the crowd.
“I also want to thank Landon for being there for her when I couldn’t be.
I want to thank our coach. The leadership you’ve shown is what has made us the team we are.
My teammates, who are the greatest group of guys to have your back off and on the ice. ”
I swallow, taking a breath. “I want to thank my best friend, Atlas, who couldn’t be here tonight. I wish you all the luck with your new team. You’re going to be amazing, I know it. We miss you here.” The crowd cheers loudly. “I know we all do.”
I squeeze the wood of the podium. “This year has taught me a lot. When I was drafted nearly thirteen years ago, I was scared out of my mind. Soon I realized that in our locker room not only did we have amazing players, but we had amazing men on this team. We’re truly a family.
This is my home. Thirteen years went by too fast, but they will always be the best memories of my life.
” Everyone cheers and then my eyes slide to him.
The person who brought me back to life. With a gentle hand and kind soul, this man has changed me.
“And last . . .” I look at him. “I want to thank you, Felix. While my professional hockey career is over, I know the best parts of my life are ahead of me, and I am so grateful I get to have you in it. Beside me. I love you.”
I wave to the crowd then walk down to deafening applause.
We all move to the carpet. Lianna in Landon arms. Oli next to me on one side, Felix on the other.
My sister next to Landon. Part of me wishes Atlas could be here too.
I just hope he’s doing well. He moved two weeks after I visited him in his apartment.
The summer has flown by, and now next week it’s my turn to leave this place.
This amazing place full of amazing people I’ve been so lucky to share the last thirteen years of my life with.
Felix loops his arm in mine, handsome as ever in his own gray suit. The music starts, my banner slowly rising to hang in the rafters with the number thirty-two proudly on the front. My eyes burn as I watch it being placed among other great players forever.
When I got drafted all those years ago, I told myself I’d be an Otter for life.
And I meant it.
I never went to college.
I went straight from high school and then played with an AHL league for a couple of years before I moved up and signed with the Otters. It seems like a lifetime ago. I thought all my dreams had come true. Little did I know I still had dreams to see through.
Like the one I’m living now with Felix.
We moved in August. It’s been a long process, but we’re finally settling in. We bought the house out in the woods, though I do miss my home out in Oregon. We’ve settled in here, and I love the view from our house, and of course it has a nice fire pit we take advantage of nightly.
As I pull into the parking lot, my phone rings.
I don’t expect it to be Felix, and smile when I see my sister’s name appear on the screen.
I answer the video call, smiling wider when I see Lianna’s face.
It has to be like seven in the morning there.
“Someone wanted to call you before your first day of school.”
“The best way to start the day. How are you doing? How’s school?”
“I told everyone I’m going to be a big sister!” She claps.
“That’s right.” Alyssa found out she was pregnant when we all got back from the wedding.
I plan on visiting when she has the baby and bringing Lianna here for a week so she can focus on the new addition.
She’s excited to stay with us, but I think she’s more excited to see Felix.
I’m a little jealous, I won’t lie. “Where’s Uncle Felix? ”
“At home.” I smile. “I’ll tell him you said hi, and you can call back tonight and talk to him.”
“We have to get ready, Bug. You have a great day, alright? Let us know how it goes.” Alyssa’s eyes feel like home.
Though I’ve learned that I have many homes.
The one with Oli and Andre. With Alyssa and Landon.
With the Otters. And even one with Atlas, even if we haven’t talked since that day in his apartment.
I’ve given him space. He asked me not to call him, said he’d call me when he’s ready, and I want to respect that. Still, it’s hard.
Then there’s my favorite home, belonging to the man who’s arms I fall into every single night. “What do we say?” Alyssa looks at Lianna.
“Give ’em hell, Coach!”
I hear Landon bark out a laugh in the background, and Alyssa’s eyes whip to where he’s standing. “Okay, we have to go. I have a goalie to strangle.”
I laugh. “I’ll talk to you later. Have Momma call me so you can tell me all about your day.” The time difference took some getting used to, but I make sure to call a couple of times a week. Lianna did not take the move well, but I’m ready for breaks and summers with her here.
“I will.”
“Have fun today, Coach. We love you.” Alyssa waves.
With my cane in my hand, I head to campus.
I’m bringing it just in case. At first, I wasn’t going to, but my man is bossy and persistent.
I’m going to keep it here in my office. Practice starts on Monday, and I feel electricity buzzing at the thought of it.
It’s the same feeling I used to get during training camp.
I find the building I need, heading inside.
I know Oli and Andre are already in hockey mode.
They have a game in three weeks against the Hawks, and I will definitely be there.
I want to know how Atlas is doing.
It weighs on me. I don’t know how to navigate this new phase of our relationship.
We used to talk every day before my accident.
He told me I need to give him space, and I want to respect that, but the other part of me wants to ask him how training camp is?
How has the new team been? Are they treating him well? Is Rome being a fucking dick?
I take my phone out and hover my finger over his number. Just a text. Just a quick one. Just to let him know I’m thinking about him.
“Shit!” Not paying attention, I run into someone.
All their things crash to the ground. “Shit, I’m so sorry.
” The student gets to his knees, gathering his things.
I try my best to bend down and help him.
“I’m so sorry.” We both grab for a book, and it takes me a second to see the half-naked man on the cover.
“Um, here.” I hand him the book, standing up and cupping his elbow to help him up.