Chapter 19
19
C ass gapes at JJ, appalled. “What do you mean, you’ve never tried churros con chocolate before?”
JJ stands his ground. “Exactly what I said, Cass. I’ve never really had the occasion.”
“It’s not about an occasion, lackey,” Cass says, exasperated. “It’s about deliciousness. You are allowed to have nice things sometimes, you know.”
Up on JJ’s shoulders, Desi is swinging her head back and forth between them like she’s watching a tennis match. The late February weather isn’t quite cold, but it’s chilly enough that Cass bundled up almost as much as JJ?—and wrestled Desi into some winter clothes, too. Even though demons don’t quite feel temperature the same way humans do, it’s never a bad idea to blend in with the masses.
Plus, JJ bought her an adorable hat with pompoms on it. His delighted expression when she opened the door wearing it sort of made Cass’s heart melt into a puddle.
“I have plenty of nice things,” JJ says defensively. “Just look at all the ice cream we’ve been getting lately!”
“But churros con chocolate are warm, so they’re objectively better for a day like today,” Cass argues. “And you’ve tried every other food truck in Redwater; how did you manage to miss Churrería? It’s right next to Samosa Spot, and I know how much you love samosas.”
“I?—?” Wincing, JJ looks away. “I don’t know. Just never wanted to, I guess.”
For a few seconds, Cass squints at him, bewildered. JJ “just never wanted” one of the most famous desserts to ever come out of Europe? Why wouldn’t he??—??
And then, in a flash, Cass realizes it. He’s been patronizing Churrería for decades now?—in fact, it’s one of the oldest food trucks in Redwater?—but his initial motivation for going there was less because of the churros themselves and more because he wanted to support Ana and Julio.
Specifically, because he wanted to support a demon-owned business.
A curl of bitterness twists through Cass. Firmly, he forces it down. While he wants to be annoyed with JJ for being biased against Churrería just because of its owners, he also feels like he knows the hunter well enough by now to realize that his reasons usually aren’t so superficial. “You never wanted to?” he asks cautiously. “Or your friends never wanted to?”
For the briefest of moments, JJ’s eyes flicker over to meet Cass’s. “More the latter, I think,” he says, clearly choosing his words with care. “I don’t know what, um, my bosses would’ve said if they saw me there.”
The thread of tension in Cass’s chest relaxes. So JJ didn’t want to risk incurring the wrath of the Sanctum’s Council if another hunter saw him frequenting a demon-owned business. After all, a loyal lackey wouldn’t associate with demons, even if those demons do make really good food.
Does it ever bother you that they refer to you like you’re dogs?
Yeah. Yeah, it does bother me.
Although Cass is pretty sure that JJ’s loyalties are shakier than they used to be. He’s proud to think he might’ve played a role in that. “Well, your bosses won’t recognize you today,” he says pointedly, gesturing towards JJ’s glamoured appearance. “So how would you like to give ’em a go? I promise you won’t be disappointed.”
This time, JJ’s smile is pleased. “Yeah, I’d love that. Good call, Cass.”
“Churros!” Desi cheers, hugging the top of JJ’s head. “Just like Esteban and Lucia’s, right?”
Cass smiles as Lakeside comes into view ahead of them, sunlight glinting off the gently lapping waves. “Well, not just like them. Esteban and Lucia make Latin American–style churros, but Ana and Julio make Spanish- style churros. They’re curly instead of straight, and they don’t have the cinnamon and sugar.”
JJ looks scandalized. “What’s the point of a churro if it doesn’t have cinnamon and sugar?”
“Because you dip it in the chocolate, Jackson. Keep up.” As casually as possible, Cass loops his arm through JJ’s as they step from the cracked pavement to the grass, sidling in close next to him.
JJ tenses the slightest bit, but he otherwise doesn’t react. And, unless Cass is mistaken, it looks like a faint blush is rising up his neck, too.
Cass really hopes he isn’t mistaken. Ever since his conversation with Ez and Obie a few weeks ago, he’s been carefully trying to get closer to JJ, carefully trying to test his boundaries??—
Carefully trying to see if there’s any chance that JJ might be open to a potential relationship.
So far, Cass is surprisingly optimistic. JJ doesn’t seem to mind when Cass flagrantly invades his personal space, even when there aren’t witnesses around, and he’s reacted with predictable shyness to Cass’s flirting attempts, and??—
And he did get Cass that pocket watch two weekends ago. The one he bought because it reminded him of Cass.
The one Cass has kept tucked in his pocket every day since then, the gold chain hooked to his belt. JJ’s grin when he first saw it there made his eyes crinkle in the corners and nearly gave Cass a heart attack on the spot.
He wants to make JJ smile like that all the time.
Just one of the many little goals Cass has adopted recently?—his newest one, obviously, being to introduce JJ to his favorite dessert. Purposefully, Cass pulls him over to Churrería’s window. “Buenos días! Tres raciones de churros con chocolate, por favor,” he says, handing over their money, and Ana gives him a pleased smile before ducking away to get their food.
JJ shoots him an amused look. “Showoff.”
“What?” Cass asks defensively.
“You always order food in everyone’s native languages,” JJ says. “Meanwhile, I only know, like, two words in Spanish.”
“Nonsense. You know plenty of Spanish words. ‘Taco,’ ‘guacamole,’ ‘pico de gallo,’ ‘queso,’ ‘salsa’…” Ana appears with their tray, three cups of gooey chocolate surrounded by three containers of hot churros, and Cass reluctantly disentangles his arm from JJ’s to pick it up. “And now you know two more! ‘Churro’ and ‘chocolate.’ How many more words do you realistically need?”
JJ squints at their plunder as Cass leads them towards an empty picnic table. “Those do not look like churros, Cass. And?—?” He wrinkles his nose at the cups of chocolate. “Is that, like, hot cocoa? Or chocolate pudding?”
“It’s like a thick hot chocolate,” Cass says, and he sets the tray on the table, grabs Desi off JJ’s shoulders, and hands her one of the churros. “Here. Convince JJ that they’re good.”
Desi obligingly takes a bite. Her eyes light up. “Ooh! Yummy!”
“See?” Cass says to JJ, and he delicately places one of JJ’s churros in a cup of chocolate. “The trick is to let it absorb the chocolatey goodness for a few minutes before eating it.”
JJ watches skeptically as Cass settles his own churro in chocolate. Once Cass deems their churros to be sufficiently soaked, he gestures for JJ to pick his up, and they both take a bite at the same time.
JJ blinks twice, surprised. “Huh,” he says, and he dunks his churro back into the chocolate. “This is actually really good.”
“Told you,” Cass says smugly.
Apparently, neither JJ nor Desi possesses the slightest modicum of self-control, because they both devour all their churros before Cass has even started on his second. Desi chugs the rest of her chocolate, sets the cup down, and bounds to her feet. “That was super tasty! Thanks, Cass! Can I go build a sandcastle?”
“Of course, sweetie.”
“Just stay close,” JJ adds, pointing at a sandy patch nearby. “We need to make sure Cass can maintain the glamours.”
“Okay!” Desi skips away without further ado, plopping down in the sand to start digging with her hands. Within minutes, a few other children wander over to join her, and they’re quickly absorbed in making a giant castle?—or giant pile of sand, more accurately?—together.
JJ’s smile is fond. “We have a good kid.”
Cass’s heart shivers at the casual phrasing. “We do,” he agrees softly. Feeling bold, he pushes himself to his feet, strolls around the table, and sits down next to JJ, almost close enough to touch. From the small smile JJ gives him, Cass figures that he’s welcome. “So how was your first experience with churros con chocolate?”
JJ looks forlornly at his half-empty cup of chocolate. “I wish I had more churros.”
Amused, Cass holds out his last one. “Your wish is my command.”
JJ’s eyes light up. “Thanks!” he says, and he busily sets about soaking the churro in chocolate.
Cass fights back a grin. Watching stoic JJ, Sanctum hunter extraordinaire, get so excited about churros con chocolate might just be the most adorable thing he’s ever seen. “Any other wishes for me, Jackson?” he asks, leaning his elbows back against the table. “You’ll find that I’m quite skilled at granting wishes.”
JJ’s lips twitch. “How about a million dollars?”
Cass holds up his hand like he’s about to open a pocket dimension. “I can write you a check right now.”
“Don’t you dare,” JJ says, but he’s smiling. “Let’s see?—what else do I wish for? I wish spring would come soon and bring warmer weather with it. I wish there were more picture books about dragons at the library for Desi. I wish?—?” He cuts himself off. Looks away.
Frowning, Cass leans in. “You wish…?”
After a long moment, JJ whispers, “I wish I could be here more. I wish I could really watch Desi grow up, you know? To see her discover everything about the world. Honestly, I?—I feel like I’m living for these two days a week when I get to visit. I wish I could be here all the time.”
Cass’s heart starts to beat faster. “Well, that’s easy,” he says, keeping his voice as even as possible. “Defect from the Sanctum and come live with us. I have a spare bedroom.”
JJ flinches. “Don’t even joke, Cass.”
What do you want, Cass? Do you want to try?
Taking a deep breath, Cass soldiers on. “I’m not joking. I could set up defensive spells around my house, and Ez has been working on a deactivation for Sanctum enchantments. That way, you could actually touch Desi without worrying about hurting her.” And maybe touch me, too. “Yes, it would be complicated. There would be a lot of steps involved. But it’s nowhere near impossible, JJ.”
JJ’s jaw works. “I can’t. You know that.”
Cass’s chest hurts. “Because you don’t want to?” he asks quietly. “Or because you feel like you owe the Sanctum your life?”
JJ hunches his shoulders. Doesn’t answer.
And Cass wants to drop it. He should drop it. He shouldn’t push any harder when JJ is so clearly uncertain, shouldn’t pressure JJ and risk him shutting down entirely.
Cass should just leave it at that, but instead, he says, “Demons don’t grow up the same way humans do.”
JJ’s eyes flicker over to him, confused. “Yeah. I know that.”
Do you? Cass bites back the words. “Tell me what you know.”
“Well…” JJ’s eyebrows knit together. “I know that most spellcasters summon demons from Tamaros in the form of someone they lost?—a child, a parent, a spouse. And, since demons are immortal, they don’t have to change their appearance or ‘age’ at all if they don’t want to.” He nods towards Desi. “But I also know that form determines function, so you couldn’t have a fully developed adult mind in a child’s body. So if Desi didn’t physically age herself up, she wouldn’t progress far beyond a toddler’s mentality. After a few years, she could be a somewhat mature four-year-old, but she wouldn’t progress past the developmental age of maybe a seven-year-old.”
Cass’s throat feels dry. “Right. Human brains don’t finish maturing until a person’s mid-twenties. That’s why most demons age themselves up to that point.” He takes a deep breath. “But we’re usually not given any choice in the matter. Our summoners order us to grow up once they realize that it’s difficult to turn a child into a ruthless soldier. So?—so imagine Desi as she is now, carefree and playful and loving, but then imagine her being ordered to transform into an adult. Her entire brain rewiring itself to maturity in an instant, her personality and temperament jumping two decades ahead. Losing all her innocence in a split second.”
JJ looks like he just got punched in the stomach. “Oh,” he says haltingly. “Is?—is that what would’ve happened to her? If I hadn’t killed her summoner?”
“Most likely,” Cass says, and he hesitates. “And it’s what happened to Ez, too.”
JJ’s eyes widen. “Really?”
“Yeah. Obie doesn’t talk about when he was summoned, so I don’t know if he had a similar experience, but?—but Ez was summoned as a six-year-old. A little girl, based on her summoner’s late daughter.” An old anger snakes through Cass’s chest. “Obviously, she wasn’t useful enough to him like that. He forced her to age herself up within a month. She doesn’t talk about it much, but that abrupt transition is traumatic. Almost as traumatic as the summoning itself.”
“And you?” JJ’s eyes are sad. “Is that what happened to you, too?”
Cass shakes his head. “Not to that extreme. I was summoned in the human fa?ade of a fifteen-year-old?—nearly identical to my summoner’s late son. He forced me to grow up within a few months, too, but the developmental jump wasn’t as large.” He looks away. “I still… felt it, though. Like I lost a piece of myself. Like?—like I was nostalgic for something I almost had.”
“I’m so sorry,” JJ whispers. “That never should’ve happened. Not to you, and not to Ez, and?—and not to any of you.”
Cass meets his eyes. “Did you feel like that, too? After your family died?” After the Sanctum took you in and turned you into a killer?
“I?—?” JJ swallows hard, but he doesn’t drop Cass’s gaze. “Yeah. Everything felt… colder. And smaller. Like the world wasn’t big and bright and full of promise anymore. Like it was just… there.”
Slowly, deliberately, Cass lets his hand drift to the side. Rests the backs of his fingers against JJ’s jacket sleeve, wishing he could touch the warm skin underneath. “That’s what I never want Desi to feel,” he says softly. “Not for another twenty years, at least. Not until she’s had time to see all the beauty and the goodness here first. I?—I want her to love this world before she learns to hate it. Most demons never get that chance, but it’s really important to me that she does. And you… help with that. So I wish you could be here all the time, too.”
For a long moment, JJ searches Cass’s face. Cass holds his breath, trying to parse out the emotions flickering through JJ’s eyes. Did he catch the silent meaning, the silent question, behind Cass’s words? Does he understand that he and Cass both want the same thing?—to keep Desi safe and watch her grow up?
Is he thinking, maybe, about what it would take for him to leave the Sanctum for them?
At long last, JJ looks away. “I…”
But Cass never gets to hear the rest of his sentence, because right then, JJ’s expression shifts.
Not his expression, Cass realizes with a start. His appearance. The lines of his jaw and his cheekbones and his nose are shifting back to their normal shapes, his locs are lengthening back to his shoulders, his skin tone is deepening the slightest bit??—
That’s JJ. That’s how JJ looks.
The glamour is gone.
When JJ jerks away, eyes widening, Cass knows that JJ’s appearance wasn’t the only one that faded back to normal. “Cass,” he hisses frantically. “The glamours!”
Dread coils down Cass’s spine. “I didn’t take them off,” he says, and his eyes snap to Desi. She’s sitting in the same spot, digging in the sand without a care in the world, but her glamour has disappeared, too. “And I didn’t feel the spell stretch like it was about to break, either. They just?—they just vanished. Like??—?”
Like an outside force interfered with his magic. Like an outside force is preventing Cass from maintaining the glamours.
Cass’s blood runs cold. “Anti-glamour spell,” he says, and JJ sucks in a sharp breath. “But who’s using an anti-glamour spell in the middle of Lakeside? Who??—??”
“The Sanctum,” JJ says, and he bolts to his feet, turning in a quick circle to survey the area. “Roma must’ve perfected her soul-tracking spell and gone straight to the Council with it. I don’t see any strike teams yet, but?—but we need to get out of here. Can you?—??” Suddenly, his face pales. “Can you rift us out?”
Cass’s stomach drops. Hastily, he snaps his fingers a few times, tries to peel open a rift??—
“Nothing,” he says numbly, horror flooding through him. “Anti-rifting spell.”
JJ’s eyes are sweeping around. He’s clearly searching the space around Desi, making sure she’s safe, but not running to her to avoid drawing attention. “I still don’t see any hunters,” he says, frustration winding through his voice. “No strike teams, no spellcasters, no??—?”
Abruptly, his shoulders stiffen. Cass is just about to ask what’s wrong when JJ starts whispering an incantation under his breath, something fast and pressurized. Spellcasting isn’t Cass’s strongest point, but it only takes him a few seconds to recognize it.
An anti-cloaking spell. Because if the strike teams cloaked themselves, Cass realizes with a jolt, then his and JJ’s eyes would slide over them without even registering their existence. It’s only one step down from an invisibility spell.
And when JJ finishes the incantation with a sharp gesture and the magic washes over the shore, Cass suddenly spots five separate strike teams, moving fast and closing in on Desi.
No time for subtlety now. “Run!” he snarls, and he takes off towards Desi at a sprint.