Chapter 37
37
R oma nearly trips through the rift into Cass’s kitchen. Hastily, JJ reaches out to steady her. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m okay,” she says, turning in a quick circle to get her bearings. Her eyebrows shoot up. “Huh. This is a nice place.”
“Thank you,” Cass says. There’s a quiet edge of tension in his voice, and JJ fights back a wince. He knows that bringing people into this house?—the house where their daughter lives?—is beyond nerve-wracking for Cass, and JJ leans inconspicuously towards him, pressing their shoulders together. Cass relaxes minutely. “What’s going on?”
Roma holds up her phone. “Bryant made contact,” she says, and JJ’s heart leaps. “Not sure how she found my burner number, but the Sanctum always has their ways, right?”
JJ barely suppresses a shudder. “Right. What’d she say? Is she safe?”
“I’m…” Roma lets out her breath in a frustrated hiss. “I’m not sure. She said that things have been bad at the Sanctum ever since we defected. More restrictions, harsher punishments. More pressure to be constantly training and constantly picking up extra jobs.” She hesitates. “And she mentioned that the Council is getting more severe. More authoritarian.”
JJ’s stomach churns. “Coming from Bryant, that’s a huge red flag,” he says, and he glances at Cass. “Bryant Nehemiah is a purebred, one of the upper echelons. She’s usually spared from most of the Council’s discipline, so if even she says they’re going too far, it must be brutal.” Dread spikes through him. “And Chester? Is he okay?”
Because Chester isn’t a purebred?—not even a mixed breed. He and JJ always felt the weight of the Council’s judgment most acutely, were always the first to be punished for minor offenses, were always the acceptable targets when other hunters needed a scapegoat??—
If Bryant is concerned, then Chester is probably panicking.
“She’s barely been able to talk with him,” Roma says. “The Council has been watching her every move, and she doesn’t want to be seen going down to the prison too often, not with—?” She grimaces. “Well. Not with how I helped Cass break in and all.”
“So what does she want?” Cass’s shoulders are still tight. “Does she want to defect?”
“I think so,” Roma confirms. “Or she’s exploring her options, at least. She has a certain amount of influence in the Sanctum purely by virtue of her bloodline, so she’s especially worried about being alone and powerless on the outside. Couple that with the fact that she knows the Sanctum will try to track her down…”
“She wants to know if it’s even safe for her to leave,” JJ finishes, nodding. “Could she stay with you?”
“Of course,” Roma says. “The studio might be a bit cramped for two people, but I’m sure we could figure it out, and??—?”
Cass shakes his head. “Don’t even worry about that. Obie can move you both to a two-bedroom apartment, and we can help her out financially, too. She’ll have options, just like you and JJ.”
JJ’s heart swells. He loves the fact that Cass is so ready and willing to go to bat for JJ’s friends, to stick his neck out for people he barely even knows??—
To help JJ’s people just because they’re JJ’s people. He wraps his fingers around Cass’s palm and squeezes lightly. “Thank you.”
Cass’s lips twitch. Roma blinks at their joined hands for a moment, looking somewhat taken aback, before regaining her composure. “Sounds like a plan,” she says. “Bryant wants to meet us at Lakeside in about an hour, so we need to??—?”
“Wait.” Cass’s eyes narrow. “Lakeside?”
Roma’s eyebrows furrow. “Yeah. That little stretch of land next to the lake? With all the food trucks?”
“I know what it is.” Cass’s lips press into a thin line. “And I also know that it’s isolated, severely lacking in escape routes, and has very few places to hide. That’s where they tried to corner me and JJ, remember? It’s the perfect place to spring a trap.”
Roma’s shoulders stiffen. “Bryant isn’t trying to trap us, Chin. She chose Lakeside for those exact reasons?—it’s far from the Sanctum, only has a few points of entry, and has good visibility to the surrounding areas.”
“I’m not saying it’s her,” Cass says, crossing his arms over his chest. “But she mentioned that the Sanctum is getting more authoritarian, right? If they’re suspicious of her already, odds are good that they’ll tail her. A location like Lakeside will make you more susceptible to an attack.”
Roma scoffs. “She’s not stupid. She can shake off a tail.”
“It’s still needlessly risky,” Cass argues. “I’ve been in more than one war, remember? This is a bad tactical decision. And why now? Why does she want to meet so soon?”
JJ glances at his watch. Nearly one p.m. “Change of shift is at two,” he says, nodding. “Best time to leave the Sanctum without being spotted.”
Cass’s jaw works. “Valid. But change of shift happens multiple times per day, so why is she choosing the one in the middle of the afternoon? Why not during the overnight, when fewer people are awake? Why today and not tomorrow?”
Roma is starting to look impatient. “I don’t know her exact rationale, okay? All I know is that our strike team partner?—our friend? —is in trouble, and we need to help her. Kappa always has each other’s backs. We don’t leave anyone behind.”
For a long moment, she and Cass glare at each other.
And then Cass’s eyes find JJ’s. “It’s a bad idea. You know it is.”
“It’s definitely not Bryant’s best,” JJ admits, and he turns to Roma. “But this is really the only time she could get away?”
Roma nods once. “And you know Bryant. She always jumps in headfirst. She probably wants to meet us now before she loses her nerve?—or before the Sanctum sends her on another job.”
Cass laughs sharply. “So she’s shooting first and asking questions later? That always ends well.”
“You don’t have to come with us,” Roma fires back. “Actually, it’ll probably be better if you don’t. Bryant trusts me, and she’s willing to trust JJ, but I don’t think she’d react well to a demon nearby.”
JJ nods. “Makes sense.”
Cass bristles. “Makes sense? Why does JJ even need to go?”
“Because we’re a strike team,” Roma snaps. “We stick together. And if you’re right and something does happen, then the three of us fight better together than apart.”
Cass scoffs. “Please. I’ve seen footage of you and Nehemiah fighting solo. You don’t need JJ there.”
JJ pulls away, stung. “Okay. Ouch.”
“I didn’t?—?” Cass grimaces. “I didn’t mean it like that, okay? You’re an amazing fighter, as we all know. But this?—this is too sudden and too suspicious, and that makes it dangerous.” His eyes cut to Roma. “And if you really want backup, you know damn well that I’m your best option.”
“She doesn’t trust you, Chin!”
“Well, I don’t trust her!”
“Cass,” JJ says, putting a hand on Cass’s shoulder. “Breathe.”
Cass tenses, but he doesn’t move away. “JJ and I can set up the new safe house for you,” he says curtly. “Obie is away, but I have access to his rental properties. We can send you the address and meet you both there. That’s the best solution.”
“No, the best solution would be for JJ to come with me!” Roma hisses. “If Bryant sees how well he’s doing?—hell, if she sees that he has a daughter and apparently a boyfriend now?—then she’ll feel better about leaving the Sanctum. She’ll know that life isn’t going to end outside its walls.”
“Yeah, and maybe the daughter and the boyfriend are the exact reasons why JJ shouldn’t come with you!” Cass snarls. “He has other people to think about now, Gutierrez!”
Irritation slices through JJ. “Okay, stop,” he says, stepping in front of Cass to put both hands on his shoulders. “You know that I’m standing right here, right?”
Cass’s eyes sharpen. “Don’t tell me you’re actually considering this.”
“I?—?” Wincing, JJ glances at Roma. “Could you give us a few minutes?”
Roma checks her watch, her jaw set in a grim line. “Sure,” she says, and she backs away towards the door. “Just make it fast, okay? We have to move quickly if we want to get to Lakeside on time.”
And JJ waits until Roma is out of earshot outside, the locks on the door engaging quietly behind her, before taking a deep breath and turning around to face Cass’s thunderstruck eyes.
“It’s a bad idea, JJ,” Cass says without preamble. He clenches his fists to hide the shaking in his hands, but there’s no disguising that tremor in his voice. “You know it is.”
“I don’t think it’s as bad as you’re making it out to be, Cass,” JJ says, crossing his arms over his chest. And JJ crosses his arms over his chest a lot, stands like that comfortably and casually, but this time, it looks defensive. “Sure, Bryant’s timing isn’t ideal, but that could work to our advantage. It’s arbitrary, even random, and the Sanctum won’t expect that from one of its operatives.”
“But if they’re already on high alert, they’ll translate ‘random’ as ‘suspicious,’” Cass argues. “Especially since she’s the last one left from Strike Team Kappa. There’s a solid chance that they’ll tail her, and if they see her talking with you and Roma??—?”
JJ is already shaking his head. “We’ve been doing this for years, okay? All of us know how to shake off a tail. Bryant won’t bring trouble to us.”
“You think she won’t,” Cass stresses, the thread of panic around his lungs winding tighter with every word. “But weren’t you the one who said purebreds are the most loyal to the Sanctum? And the Sanctum has been pretty clear about wanting you and Roma back.”
JJ’s face shuts down. “She wouldn’t do that to us. We’re a strike team. We??—?”
“You were a strike team,” Cass fires back. “But you and Roma left her behind. You think she’s not bitter about that?”
JJ flinches, but he stands his ground. “That’s why the smartest thing is for both me and Roma to be there. If you’re right, then we’ll have each other for backup.”
“No, the smartest thing is for neither of you to even go!”
“That’s not an option!” JJ says, his voice rising. “We can’t just abandon Bryant, not like?—not like Sawyer and Naomi did to us, and?—?” His eyes narrow. “And what would you do? If it were Ez and Obie in trouble?”
Cass grits his teeth. “We’re demons, JJ. Risk is modulated for us just by virtue of the fact that we’re functionally immortal. But you?—you might be one of the best human fighters I’ve ever met, but without those Sanctum enchantments, you’re still just human. You could die.”
“I could always die, Cass!” JJ says, exasperated. “That’s how humans work!”
“And that’s exactly why you shouldn’t run headfirst into danger!” Cass snaps. The thread of panic feels more like a thick chain now, hard and unyielding. “Do you have any idea how much it broke Desi when the Sanctum captured you? Do you have any idea how much it broke me? We need you, JJ. We all need each other.”
JJ’s hands are trembling. “My friends need me, too.”
“And we can help them,” Cass says desperately. “Just not like this, okay? You don’t?—you don’t have to be this person anymore, JJ! You don’t have to always be on the frontlines, and you don’t have to constantly put other people’s needs above your own, and?—and you don’t have to stake your worth on how willing you are to die for the cause. That’s who you were, who you had to be, but it’s not who you are anymore.”
JJ sets his jaw. Cass’s heart plummets. “I’m still the same person I’ve always been. This?— this is who I am.”
And Cass??—
Cass wants to get angry. He wants to be furious that JJ is ready to run straight back into danger the moment Roma asks him to, that he’s blindly taking his friends at their word without considering the repercussions, that he’s still so willing to sacrifice himself at the slightest provocation. He wants to yell and beg and threaten until JJ agrees to let Roma meet up with Bryant alone?—or, better yet, until JJ and Roma both agree to change the time and place.
But Cass knows that won’t help. He and JJ didn’t make it this far by screaming at each other, after all. He forces his temper down. “I’m concerned,” he says, slowly and clearly, “because it feels like you’re taking unnecessary risks without considering how that’ll affect the people around you. Without considering how it’ll affect me and Desi. And?—and I’m concerned because it feels like you’re asking too few questions about Bryant’s story. Like you’re falling back on that old habit of just following orders.”
JJ’s expression shifts. “Cass??—?”
“I would never want you to change the part of you that cares about your friends, okay?” Cass cuts in. “I would never want you to change the part of you that wants to protect people, and to always do what’s right, and?—and to stand up against injustice. Because??—?”
Because those are the parts of us that are the same. Those are the parts of you that I admire.
Those are the parts of you that I fell in love with.
Cass bites back the words. “Listen, I spent centuries chasing the next battle because it was all I had. It was the only way I felt like my life could mean something, like I could make a difference. Like?—like there was actually a reason I was summoned to this realm. But that’s not all I have anymore, okay? I have you, and I have Desi. There is a reason I was summoned here, and it’s for the two of you. For this little family we made together.” He takes a deep breath, meeting JJ’s wide eyes. “You can always remake yourself. You can always start over. You don’t have to be the person the Sanctum turned you into.”
“I don’t have centuries to remake myself, Cass.” JJ’s voice cracks on the last few words. “I barely even have decades. I’m on a time limit to figure out who I am and?—and who I want to be. And I want to be someone who doesn’t back down just because it’s dangerous. I want to be someone who steps up to help during a crisis. I want to be someone who’s willing to risk it all for his friends.” Unexpectedly, he reaches out and grabs Cass’s hand. “Just like I am for you and Desi.”
Cass’s heart feels raw. “And I,” he says haltingly, “want someone who’ll live for me. Not someone who’ll die for me. And I think Desi feels the same way.”
JJ’s face crumples. “Cass??—?”
“Just?—?” Cass lets out his breath in a hiss, tugging his hand out of JJ’s and turning away. “If you’re going to go with Roma, then just go. Bryant said she wanted to meet you in an hour. Clock’s ticking.”
“Cass,” JJ whispers, his fingertips brushing Cass’s shoulder.
Cass shrugs him off. “Go. I’ll be here when you get back.”
For a long moment, JJ is silent. And Cass prays to Nostringvadha, to any god who’s up there, that JJ is having second thoughts, that he’s going to decide to stay, that he’ll prioritize their future over the ghosts of his past??—
And then JJ’s footsteps shift away. “I’ll be back soon, okay?” he says softly, and pain slices through Cass’s chest. “A few hours, tops.”
“Uh-huh,” Cass says brusquely. “Have fun.”
And JJ only hesitates for a second longer before turning away. Jogs over to the far corner to grab his escrima sticks off the top shelf, where they put them so Desi couldn’t reach them. The gentle snick of the door swinging open, a few quiet words with Roma on the front porch, the soft swoosh as the door slides shut, and then??—
Silence.