Chapter 13
Koa
My leg had fallen asleep about twenty minutes ago, but I couldn’t bring myself to move Riot.
We had been in the hospital for hours, waiting for the doctor to update us, with no knowledge of what was going on or whether Cara would even survive.
In the time it had taken us to get here, Cara had suffered another heart attack and had to be rushed back for surgery.
They’d been in the middle of it when we’d arrived, and we hadn’t gotten news for a sickeningly long time.
I ran my fingers through Riot’s hair. He had finally fallen asleep, and I was doing everything in my power to let him rest. Lord knew he needed as much as he could get.
Thankfully, Knox was a responsible kid and hadn’t drunk at all at the party he had been at, so he’d been able to come and pick up the kids and bring them home, as they had all become restless. I probably should have done it, but I hadn’t been willing to leave Riot here alone. I couldn’t.
The update had finally come shortly after Knox had left.
Cara had survived two massive heart attacks, luckily.
She’d been touch-and-go for a while but had stabilized just a bit ago.
Now we were waiting for her to be transferred back to an ICU room so we could see her. Riot refused to leave until he did.
Cara was like a mother to Riot. To all of us, really. I didn’t know how he would’ve reacted if she hadn’t made it.
My back ached in this chair, and I was desperate to stand and move around. Fuck, how long did it take them to get her moved into a room?
My phone buzzed and I did my best not to jostle Riot as I pulled it out. It was a message from Emily, Melodie’s mother.
Emily: Just wanted to let you know everything’s okay here. The littles are all in bed finally. Knox and Wynter are shaken up, but they’ll be okay.
I smiled softly. When I’d called to ask her if Wynter could sleep over, she’d instead offered to go to our house and spend the night so Knox wouldn’t be alone with all the kids.
He’d probably chafed a bit at that, but I was thankful.
Riot and I worked hard not to put that kind of pressure on him.
Riot hadn’t had a childhood because he’d been raising kids that weren’t his.
He refused to do that to Knox. Besides, Knox loved Cara as much as the rest of us and needed his own time to process.
I quickly texted her back
Me: Thank you. We should be able to see her soon. She’s finally stabilized. Then I’m going to try and force Riot back home to rest.
She reacted to the message with a thumbs-up and then typed:
Emily: Good luck. I’ll be here as long as you need me.
I thanked her again before putting my phone down.
Riot shifted, whimpering slightly in his sleep.
I massaged the back of his neck with my thumb.
He calmed instantly, like he always did.
Riot didn’t get nightmares like he used to anymore, but massaging his neck always worked to help settle him down. I doubted he even knew I did it.
It felt like ages before a nurse came to tell us we could go visit.
“She’s still asleep, but you can see her. One at a time,” she reminded us.
Gently, I shook Riot awake. “Ri, it’s time to get up, baby.”
His eyes flew open and he nearly fell off my lap in his haste. I got ahold of him just in time, so he didn’t go crashing to the floor.
“Jeez, Ri. Easy.”
“What is it? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. You can go visit with Cara now. She’s still asleep, but I’m sure she would love to hear your voice.”
Riot stood but didn’t move immediately. I squeezed his hand. “It’ll be okay, Ri.”
He swallowed before nodding. “Y-yeah. Yeah, I know. She’ll be fine. She has to be.”
At this moment, I couldn’t imagine another outcome.
It hadn’t been like this with my dad. He’d died upon impact.
I hadn’t seen his body until two days later, when Aunt Leilani had finally gotten there.
Dad had had no family, so she’d taken me to identify him.
It had been awful, the worst days of my life, but at least there’d been no hope.
I hadn’t spent time sitting in the hard waiting-room chairs, praying to every deity I could think of for my dad to survive, only for that hope to be ripped out from under me.
If Cara didn’t survive this . . . I couldn’t even think about that.
“Come with me?” Riot asked quietly, hand out toward me. “Maybe just wait outside?”
I didn’t even bother looking at the nurse. If Riot wanted me with him, that was where I’d be. I took his hand, and finally we followed her through the double doors and down the hallway. If she had an issue with me following, she kept it to herself.
We finally stopped in front of the door to her room. Riot pressed his hand against it but didn’t open it. He took a shuddery breath before bracing himself. I stayed close, only a few inches between us while he steadied.
“Okay,” he whispered, more to himself than to me, then pushed her door open.
I could’ve peered through the small glass window to see, but I didn’t. He deserved his privacy.
I slumped against the wall, eyes closing. Now that the adrenaline had eased, the exhaustion of the day was catching up to me. Fuck, it had started out so good. Cruz had been so excited that he was finally making friends, but now . . .
I tried to rally. I had to be there for Riot. Needed to take care of him. I couldn’t fall apart.
I had no idea how long Riot was in there, but eventually the door opened. His eyes were bloodshot and his face was blotchy, like he had been crying, but he wasn’t anymore. He looked at me with a tired, lost expression.
“Oh, sweetheart, come here.”
Riot fell into my arms. His body shook as it was wracked with sobs. His fingers dug into the back of my hoodie, his head buried in my shoulder.
“Koa. Oh god. I don’t know what to do.”
His words were muffled, but I heard them. “You don’t have to do anything. Just be here for her. Remind her that she’s loved and that we’re all here waiting for her.”
“Y-yeah, okay.”
“C’mon, sweetheart. There’s nothing else you can do for her tonight. Let’s go home and get some sleep. We’ll come back tomorrow.”
Riot looked up, and for a second, I thought he was going to argue. There was something about his expression, like he was deep in thought.
I opened my mouth, ready to push him, but I didn’t get a word out because Riot cupped the sides of my face, reached up, and pressed his lips against mine.
It was a quick kiss, more of a peck really.
“Not that I’m complaining, but what was that for?”
He looked like he didn’t even realize he’d done it. “I-I don’t know. I guess I just needed it.” I traced his lips with my thumb.
“Anytime, baby. I mean it. But now, let’s get home, alright? It’s been a long day. You need rest. We both do.” I needed to get him bundled in bed, where hopefully we could manage a few hours of sleep before the kids woke up and were looking for answers.
He nodded numbly.
With Riot tightly wrapped in my arms, I managed to get us out of the hospital and into the cool night. He immediately started shivering, and that was when I realized he wasn’t wearing a coat.
“Fuck. Where’s your jacket?” I slipped mine off and wrapped it around his shoulders before bringing him back close to me.
It was likely more nerves than the cold that had him shaking, but I wasn’t going to take chances.
Besides, I couldn’t deny I enjoyed seeing him in my clothes, even under these circumstances.
My truck looked lonely in the parking lot at this hour, but it made it easy to find.
I tapped the handle to unlock it and opened Riot’s door for him.
Once he was inside, I leaned over and buckled his seat belt.
He laughed a little at my ridiculousness, but I didn’t care.
I kissed his cheek before closing the door and going over to the driver’s side.
I sent Emily a quick text that we were leaving, though hopefully she was asleep, and then finally left the fucking hospital.
Riot was quiet during the ride. He was looking out the window, arms wrapped around himself. I reached over and put my hand on his thigh. After a beat, he covered it with his own, holding it tight against his leg.
It was by sheer willpower that I made it home without falling asleep. When I pulled into the driveway, exhaustion overcame me. We somehow made it into the house without collapsing.
Emily was asleep on the couch and clearly as tired as we were, because she didn’t even stir.
I debated waking her up but decided against it. She could sleep here till morning. Besides, Melodie was probably downstairs in Wynter’s room. No point waking them up to leave in the middle of the night.
Riot didn’t even seem to notice her. He dropped my jacket by the door and then walked past, pretty much a zombie, as he slowly started climbing the steps.
He stopped on the fifth, hunched forward and breathing heavily. He swayed slightly.
I caught up to him before he could collapse, his legs buckling as soon as I got my arms wrapped around him.
“I got you, baby. I got you. Let’s go to sleep.”
My hands slipped to his upper thighs, and without any more prompting, he wrapped his legs around my middle.
I carried him the rest of the way, silently thanking my daily workouts.
Riot might be smaller than I was, but he wasn’t a small man.
Still, I got us into our bedroom without dropping him or falling on my fucking face.
We both could use a shower and to brush our teeth, but I didn’t bother.
I gently laid Riot on the bed, then sat down next to him.
His boots came off first, and then his pants.
I left his socks on because the weirdo always slept with them on.
Said his feet got too cold without them.
He was pretty much asleep by the time I got to his shirt.
That was a little more difficult with his body limp, but I managed to strip him to his boxers.
Once he was undressed, I quickly got my clothes off until I was also in my boxers, then climbed back into bed, not bothering with pajamas for either of us.
Riot turned to me the second I got us under the covers. His arms tightened around my middle, his face pressing against my bare chest and his leg wrapping over mine.
“Rest, sweetheart. I won’t let go.”
Seconds later, Riot’s breath evened out. I listened to it for about a minute before I followed him into sleep.