Chapter 17 Easton
Easton
“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” Harlow asks as I walk her to the front door.
She’s asked me the same question every night for the past nine days, and I appreciate it. Giving her a smile, I nod. “I’ll call if we need you.”
“Okay. Have a good night.”
I shut the door behind her and head back to the living room. Even though Rachel sleeps most of the time, I turned her bed so she can see the TV.
Lainey’s watching a fantasy movie while Nova’s making coffee.
I sit down on the armchair I’ve placed next to the bed and take hold of Rachel’s hand. Leaning back, I let out a sigh while I stare at my sister.
“Here you go,” Nova says, holding a mug out to me.
I take the beverage and give her a grateful smile.
Nova goes to sit down beside Lainey again, and while she drinks her coffee, she draws patterns on my niece’s back.
I sip on the beverage, my attention divided between my sister and the movie. Every now and then, I catch myself staring at Nova, her mere presence bringing me a sense of calm I desperately need.
Rachel’s fingers stir in mine, and my eyes snap to her face. She looks very weak and slowly blinks.
When I lean closer, she barely manages to whisper, “T . . . im . . . e.”
“Nova!” I snap.
While Lainey turns off the TV, Nova comes to press a kiss to Rachel’s cheek, and I hear her whisper, “I love you, Rach.” She gives her another kiss, then makes space so Lainey can stand beside her mother.
Nova places her hands on Lainey’s shoulders as my niece whispers, “I love you, Mommy.”
I set the coffee down on a table, and moving to sit beside Rachel on the bed, I lean over her.
Staring at her with every ounce of love I feel for her, I say, “I remember the first time Mom and Dad brought you home. God, I was so happy to finally have a sibling.” She blinks slowly. “You were everything I wished for.”
When she blinks again, I know it’s for the last time.
Lifting my head, I glance at Nova, who immediately steers Lainey back to the couch. My goddaughter curls against her aunt’s side and begins to cry silently.
I look at Rachel again, drinking in her peaceful features for close to an hour before she exhales, and as her final breath leaves her, tears fall from my eyes.
Every memory I have of Rachel flashes through my mind, and I keep staring at her face, which looks like she’s sleeping.
I suck in a deep breath as I move my fingers to her pulse, and not feeling anything, I pull my phone out of my pocket and dial Harlow’s number.
“Should I come back?” she asks as she answers the call.
My voice is hoarse as I say, “Yes.”
“Okay.”
I end the call and drop the device on the armchair before looking at Rachel again. I brush my hand over her hair, and leaning forward, I press a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll miss you.”
When a sob bursts from Lainey, I get up and rush to her. I crouch down and pull her into my arms. “It’s going to be okay, sweetheart.”
Not today and definitely not tomorrow, but one day.
Nova gets up and walks to Rachel, where she presses another kiss to her cheek. After being so strong the past few weeks, her shoulder begins to shudder.
I move to sit on the couch with Lainey on my lap, then say, “Come here, Nova.”
Her breathing starts to come in choppy puffs, and she looks at Rachel for a little longer before she rushes to me. I quickly open one of my arms for her, and when she falls down beside me, I pull her into my side.
She wraps her arm around Lainey, and burying her face against my chest, she breaks down.
With Nova and Lainey weeping in my arms, I stare at Rachel’s peaceful face until Harlow comes rushing into the house.
I shut the front door and lean my forehead against the frosted glass.
Watching the coroner take Rachel’s body was unbearable. I’m so fucking glad I told Nova to wait upstairs with Lainey so they didn’t see it.
My legs feel numb, and sitting down flat on my ass, I lean back against the door while staring at the vase of flowers on the glass table.
Rachel chose that table, and she always made sure there were fresh flowers in the vase.
I glance over the living room.
Rachel chose everything because I wanted it to be the home she always dreamed about having.
A groan ripples from deep in my chest, and my shoulders start to jerk.
I cover my face with my hands as the tears come, and I’m not strong enough to stop them.
In the darkest moment of my life, arms wrap around me, and Nova’s soft scent envelops me. I rest my head against her chest, and gripping hold of her arm, I hold onto her as I break.
“I’ve got you,” she whimpers before she presses kisses to my hair. Her voice is hoarse with tears as she keeps murmuring, “It’s okay. I’m here.”
I nod and take every ounce of comfort she offers me.
Sitting on the tiles, we hold each other for the longest time, and only when I manage to calm down do I think to ask with a gravelly voice, “Where’s Lainey?”
Nova pulls back. “She fell asleep on Rachel’s bed.” Lifting her hand to my face, she brushes her thumb over my cheeks to remove the tears.
Feeling a little embarrassed, I try to joke. “If you tell anyone I cried like a baby, my career as an actor is over.”
She shakes her head, a serious expression on her face. “All your secrets are safe with me.” Her palm settles against my jaw. “You’re important to me, and I’ll always be here for you the way Rachel was there for me.”
Taking hold of her shoulder, I pull her to me so she leans into my side. I let out a heavy breath, then admit, “You’re important to me too. I’m going to need you more than ever now that Rachel is gone.”
She nods as she wraps her arm around my waist.
I rest my chin on the top of her head and close my eyes. We sit still until my ass begins to hurt, then I mutter, “Let’s get up.”
Nova climbs to her feet and holds her hand out to me. I take hold of it and let her help me up.
Glancing at the empty hospital bed, I say, “Hospice will collect everything tomorrow, and I need to make arrangements for the fireworks Rachel wanted.”
“I can make the calls,” Nova offers.
I shake my head. “I’ll ask Sylvia to help.”
I need to send her flowers or a gift because she’s gone above and beyond the duties of a manager.
Nova stops in the middle of the living room and looks around. “It feels like I should be doing something.”
“Wine,” I say, changing direction to the kitchen. “We’re both going to have the rest of the bottle Rachel had me open.”
Nova scrunches her nose. “Is it still good to drink?”
I let out a chuckle. “You really don’t like wine, do you?”
She shakes her head.
“Fine, I won’t make you drink it.” I decide to pour myself a tumbler of bourbon instead, and carrying it out to the veranda, I take a seat on a chair, and stare at the backyard that’s lit up with garden lights.
When Nova comes out of the house, I quickly grab hold of the other chair and pull it right next to mine. “Come sit.”
She sighs as she takes a seat, and pulling her knees against her chest, she rests her cheek on them and looks at me.
I take a sip of the amber fluid, then ask, “How are you holding up?”
“It feels unreal,” she whispers. “I don’t think it’s sunk in yet.”
I nod before drinking more of the bourbon.
We’re quiet for a while, then I murmur, “For twenty-eight years, everything I did was for Rachel.”
“Now everything you’ll do will be for Lainey,” she says, reminding me that I have a little human to take care of, to love, to live for.
Thinking Nova might need to have the conversation, I ask, “You’re going to continue living here, right?”
Her teeth tug at her bottom lip. “Only if you’re okay with it.”
I hold my hand out to her, and when she places her palm on mine, I wrap my fingers around her, saying, “Yes, I’m okay with it. Like I said earlier, I’m going to need you.”
Relief flashes over her beautiful features. “I’ll stay as long as you let me.”
Brushing my thumb over her fingers, I stare into her eyes. “We’ll get through this together.”
She nods as she lifts her head, and staring at the garden, she says, “For Lainey.”
And for us.
We continue to sit outside, and when I’m done with my drink, I set the tumbler down on the ground. Leaning back in the chair, I link my fingers with Nova’s and look at our joined hands.
“It happened so fast,” Nova murmurs. “We were supposed to have more time.”
I know.
I watch as the blow knocks the air from her when it sinks in that Rachel’s gone.
Pulling at her hand, I say, “Come here.”
Nova gets up as her chest heaves, and taking hold of her hips, I tug her down onto my lap. When I wrap my arms around her, she presses her face into the crook of my neck. It sounds like her sobs are being ripped from the depths of her soul.
After a few minutes, she calms down enough to say, “I already miss her so much.”
“Me too.”
Nova rests her cheek against my chest, and just like she did earlier with Lainey, I draw random patterns on her back.
I have no idea how much time passes, but I become aware of her snuggling into my chest before she stills.
Realizing she’s fallen asleep, I press a kiss to her hair and whisper, “Sleep tight, beautiful.”
At least one good thing has come of the past few weeks, and it’s that Nova feels safe enough with me to sleep in my arms.