Chapter Twenty-Six
T he air was warmer now. February had come at last and, with it, the promise of spring. Maybe it was a good sign. Maybe a new sort of relationship would grow between them, one based on the shared love for their child.
Gabriel had been elated when Delia had suggested a joint meeting and surprised to learn she was seeing Evelyn. No wonder the therapist hadn’t been able to take him on as a patient.
The call had been brief and to the point, and Delia’s voice had been faint, almost a whisper. He wondered how she was getting on, with her job, her life, now that her closest friend had moved to Bavaria.
Thinking about Delia was an addiction that was hard to break. Time would be a healer; he depended on it. This was it now, his opportunity to prove to himself that he could meet her with equanimity, without Vanessa shielding him.
A sinking sensation took hold of him when he entered Evelyn’s waiting room and found it empty. What if Delia didn’t come? What if she’d changed her mind and didn’t want to co-parent with him after all?
He shook his head. There was no reason to panic. She would turn up. This appointment was in her interest as well as his. He picked up a magazine and sat in the nearest chair.
Five minutes passed, ten, fifteen, and still no sign of her. Evelyn stuck her head in the room and raised her eyebrows.
“She’s not here.” A feeling of desolation took hold of him, and he was unable to keep it from showing on his face.
“Did she contact you since she asked you for a joint appointment?”
“No, she didn’t cancel if that’s what you mean.”
Evelyn regarded him with concern. “Anything could have happened to prevent her from showing up.”
Anything could have happened. Gabriel jumped up. “My phone. I put in on silent when I came in.” He pulled his mobile from his pocket and checked for messages. Three missed calls from Delia and one message. He read it with shaking hands.
I’ve started bleeding. Going to the hospital now.
He looked at Evelyn in shock. “I think we’re losing our baby. I have to go.” He grabbed his jacket and ran.
~ * ~
D elia balled the damp tissue in her hands. She had cried and cried ever since she’d noticed she was bleeding; red, vivid blood, the dangerous kind. She’d stuffed a big pad in her knickers and driven herself to the maternity hospital in a panic.
It happened all the time, to many women. Miscarriage, the loss of one’s hopes and dreams, washed away in a red flood. That didn’t make it any better or easier. In the parking lot, she’d remembered to contact Gabriel, but he hadn’t answered. She’d sent off a message then entered the hospital.
The tiny examination room was chilly. She sat on the paper-covered stretcher and shivered. A nurse had assured her the midwife was on her way to examine her and conduct an ultrasound. Tendrils of dread wound through her. The bleeding had stopped but still... Is it already over?
“Delia.”
She lifted her head at the sound of his voice. “Gabriel, thank God you’re here. I’ve been bleeding. I think we may... I think we may be losing...” Tears smothered the remaining words, and she gave herself over to crying when he hugged her. She breathed in his scent and held on tighter.
The door opened, and the midwife entered. He stood to greet her but returned to Delia’s side and draped his arm over her shoulder. She clung to him while the midwife settled at the ultrasound scanner, squirted cold gel on Delia’s belly and moved the probe around.
Delia fixed her gaze on the monitor and gripped Gabriel’s hand. Through the snowstorm of the ultrasound image, they could just about make out the tiny shape of their baby. She listened in awed silence to the loveliest thump, thump, thump of a little heartbeat.
The midwife replaced the probe in its holder.
“You heard it yourselves, the baby has a fine, healthy heartbeat, and everything is as it should be. I understand that the bleeding scared you, but during pregnancy, the uterus and cervix are well supplied with blood, and bleeding such as yours can occur without being harmful to the embryo. You can return home now, whenever you’re ready. ” And with this, she rose and left.
Gabriel folded Delia in an embrace and held her wordlessly. She sighed and relaxed.
He kissed the top of her head. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too, so much.” She pulled back, and her breath caught when he lowered his head and touched his lips to hers, tentatively at first, then searching, becoming ever more determined.
She allowed herself to savor him for a moment only before she stilled because she couldn’t do it. Unlike her dad, she wouldn’t grasp happiness without caring about the anguish it created for others.
She broke the kiss and pushed him away. The hurt in his eyes was like a physical blow. “We can’t. Vanessa...”
“Vanessa and I broke up,” he said. “There was no way to turn back the clock.”
Delia looked at him, wary but hopeful. “Isn’t there a way to turn back...for us?”
“No. I want to move forward.” He framed her face in his hands and fixed her with his blue gaze. “Delia, no more pretending this isn’t love.”
“No more pretending.” She shook her head. “Because I love you, Gabriel.”
Happiness brightened his face as he pressed her close. How could she have let this man go—twice?
For a few moments, they held one another, their breaths synchronizing, their heartbeats sharing one rhythm. She smiled as she thought of the third heartbeat, deep in her womb.
“Gabriel,” she murmured into his chest. “I’m sorry it took me so long to admit to myself that I love you. It kills me that I caused you so much pain.”
He cupped her jaw and brushed his lips over hers. “You were never cruel, just afraid. I must apologize for not trying hard enough to understand your reasons. Forgive me for making you feel broken and in need of fixing.”
She lifted her face to his. “Let’s forget about all that, shall we?”
He grasped her hand. “We have a lifetime to make up for our rocky start. But tell me what changed your mind?”
“I finally had to face the facts and adjust my working assumption accordingly. I always believed I didn’t need anybody. Brand new evidence strongly suggests I can’t live without you. So, we might as well get married. Private chapel if you please.”
He buried his hands in her hair and inhaled deeply. “My Delia, now and always.”
They shared a delicious silence, safe in their mutual love.
“You don’t have to marry me,” he began, “I only want us to—”
She put a finger to his lips. “No backtracking now, Gabriel. We’ll do it, big white dress, the whole nine yards. Don’t forget, our wedding pics will be great marketing material for Renwood Hall as an event location.”
“Delia.” He caught her eye, and they both giggled.
She sobered. “I still maintain marriage shouldn’t be the default proposition.
It is a radical act, forsaking all others when there are so many others around.
Only those should attempt it who are pretty sure they can withstand the lure of the ego, craving the attention of somebody new, and are willing to dive beneath the surface to discover the depth and brilliance of the other.
Those who value the strength that is forged by facing and overcoming hardship together.
But I will chance it, with you. Because I sense those qualities in you, and you call them forth in me. ”
He brushed his hand along her spine. “This must be the loveliest proposal anyone ever received.”
“Better than ‘Would you like to be buried with my people?’” She tried to keep a straight face while he shook with laugher.
He touched his forehead to hers. “Much better. So much better.”
“And your answer is...?”
“Yes, of course. I wanted you ever since I pushed open my office door and came face to face with you–stance impatient, green eyes blazing. Never in my life have I been so overwhelmed.”
Pacified, she snuggled closer to him. “You also created quite an impression.” She paused. “But I’ll keep my name. I’ve published many scientific papers under Wright. I can’t be Cordelia Kirwan. It would get confusing. And also, feminism.”
“No problem, but,” he glanced at her, “I know you think hereditary titles are complete nonsense but would you still...?”
“Sure, I’ll be the Countess of Renwood if it’s important to you. But I won’t sink my plebeian money into your aristocratic walls. I’ll keep that for our kids. I’ll do everything else to help you, though. Even if that includes wearing a big frock to fancy charity balls.”
He smiled. “Don’t worry. I won’t cling unreasonably to Renwood Hall. I no longer need it to give me a place in this world because I have you. You’re my family now.” He placed his hand on her belly and met her gaze. “You, our little one, and all our future children.”
Tears gathered in her eyes as she returned his smile. “Which will come to a total number of three, maximum.”