Chapter 7
Want to know what Texas is like in the summer? Take a shower, don’t dry off, then put on your clothes.
— Quinn’s secret thoughts
QUINN
“ What’s up, Fletch ?” I called into the phone distractedly.
The gang-on-gang violence never took a break, hence the reason I was at work on a Sunday night with no end in sight.
Two gang bangers had walked into the same grocery store, which apparently was on neutral territory, and had decided that the grocery store belonged to them. Words were exchanged, and then further talks escalated into outright violence.
Overall , those two gang bangers had caused over a hundred thousand dollars’ worth of damage to the store, the food in the store, and the parking lot after one decided to run the other one over with his car.
“ Hey ,” Fletch said without preamble. “ I just ran a call. I’m sorry to hear about Shayne’s grandma, man. I didn’t see you there, or I would’ve offered you the condolences in person.”
I froze. “ What ?”
“ Her grandma, man.” He sighed. “ I know y’all loved her like your own. She used to make those super awesome cookies that you’d bring to the locker room. I’ve been dreaming about those cookies since high school.”
My stomach dropped. “ What are you talking about, Fletch ? Did something happen to her?”
Fletcher Daniels paused for an extremely long time, and then, “ Has Shayne not called you yet to tell you? Man , y’all were attached at the hip in high school. I know I just got back a few years ago, and we don’t see each other that much, but why would you not know that your girl’s grandma just died?”
I closed my eyes as waves of emotion poured over me.
“ We broke up,” I croaked. “ A long time ago.”
Fletch remained silent for so long that I thought I’d lost him. Not that I cared.
My mind was on other things.
Other people.
Shayne .
Then again, my mind was always on Shayne . Not once in the last fuckin’ ten years had my brain not been focused on Solei Shayne Rodriguez in some way.
“ I don’t even know what to say,” Fletcher said quietly. “ I just assumed when they were talking about not being able to afford embalming and all that jazz that maybe the grandma hadn’t left the money in the bank to allow for it. I offered that crematorium place on Sixth Avenue . The ones that take direct cremations? I just… Wow , Quinn . I can’t believe y’all aren’t together anymore. I thought for sure y’all would be together forever. The way y’all loved… That’s why I divorced my ex-wife. I thought y’all’s love was what I needed to strive for.”
I rubbed at my heart.
I’d made a stupid, brash decision when I was twenty years old, and I’d never been able to fix it.
Shayne never gave me the opportunity to fix it.
Every single time I tried to bridge the gap, there she was, closing another gate to keep me away.
“ How long ago did you leave her place?” I asked.
“ About five hours ago.” He paused. “ I had a few more deaths to pronounce before I could sneak time to call.” He hesitated. “ Texas law states that she has twenty-four hours from time of death to get the body either buried, cremated or embalmed. If she’s as bad off as I think she is…”
“ She’d take the body to wherever she needed to herself,” I said. “ What’s the name of this place again?”
He gave it to me, and I started to say goodbye, but Fletch stopped me before I could.
“ You know, man.” Fletch sounded worried. “ She didn’t look good. She looked like she’d lost a lot of weight recently, because her clothes were hanging on her. She had dark circles under her eyes. Her brother was a complete and utter prick to her. And if you’re not with her anymore…”
Fletch would be.
He didn’t need to voice the words to say that he was going to shoot his shot.
“ She’s mine, man,” I said quietly. “ I’ll destroy anyone, anywhere, who tries to make it into her life. I don’t care if you’re a friend.”
I’d been fighting to keep my head above water with her for so long, I didn’t even know what it felt like not to struggle anymore.
I’d backed off recently, though.
I’d thought, well, maybe Shayne and I weren’t in the cards anymore.
That had to be why this had slipped past me.
Why I didn’t know that her Nonna was bad.
Did Ande even know?
Probably not, based on how protective Shayne was of Ande now.
She was on the road to recovery, though.
Hell , she even had a second kid on the way.
She was fantastic now. But the way Shayne acted, she was still just as helpless as the day all Ande’s drama had started.
Truthfully , I wouldn’t even know this had I not heard Ande venting to my mom about how Shayne was so careful with her now. How , since they left the last job they were on together, she’d tried and failed to get Shayne to join her at the local Angel Transport place that her boss had owned.
The only thing Shayne had been willing to help on were the dangerous missions that they’d get her to fly saving trafficking victims from the clutches of the sick fucks who’d taken them.
My mom had told her to allow Shayne to protect her, but now that I’d realized all that’d been going on, I knew it was the wrong thing to do.
Now , no one had a line in her life, and I’d thought, falsely, that she was doing okay.
And I’d been horribly wrong.
So , so horribly wrong.
Standing up, I looked up the times for the crematorium, and found that it was a twenty-four-seven place that was about two hours away.
My next step was catching my phone and calling Ande .
“ Hey ,” I said to her the moment she answered. “ You heard from Shayne lately?”
There was a pause, and then, “ Does you asking about her mean you’re finally going to get her back?”
I swallowed past the lump in my throat before saying, “ I’ve tried, sis. She wants nothing to do with me.”
She snorted. “ She wants nothing to do with you, but when have you ever given up?”
Since Shayne .
I closed my eyes and said, “ Her brother’s still an issue.”
“ Her brother is a non-issue, because Shayne has nothing to do with that business, and you know it. It’s something you’ve known for years.”
That was true.
I’d always known.
But at the time of our breakup, I’d been convinced that any association with a fucking gang, one that had recently shot a police officer and killed him, would ruin my chances to do what I wanted in life. It was a calling I’d felt in the depths of my soul.
I hadn’t realized by doing that, I’d be taking away a different part of my soul.
I’d only realized it once Shayne was gone.
Stupidly , I’d tried to give her space, but she’d taken that space, and made it miles.
“ Nonna died, Ande ,” I said, realizing that the conversation would degrade had we stayed on the same path. “ Do you know where she is?”
I knew that she and Shayne followed each other on an app that let them know their locations.
However , without access to that app, I wouldn’t know where to find her.
“ What ?” Ande cried out.
“ The location, sis,” I said softly. “ I need to find her.”
There was a scramble on the other end of the line, and then Ande said, “ She’s driving north on 635.”
I shook my head. “ I’ll call you back.”
Then I was calling my brothers.
One of them would be close to where she was, and they’d help me find her.
In the interim, I closed up my workspace, and said to my second in command, Boseman , that I was headed out.
Since he’d heard the entire conversation and was fully aware of who Shayne was to me, he didn’t say a word.
I caught up to Shayne with my brother Gable’s help. Though , Gable couldn’t do anything besides follow her and tell me where she was—when he could relay that information—thanks to him being undercover.
Deep undercover.
With the same fuckin’ gang that Shayne’s brother, Costas , ran.
“ I’m here,” I said to my brother the moment he watched me pull up behind his motorcycle.
And , playing the part, he immediately took off, going so fast that there was no hope for anyone to find him.
I didn’t pursue him, though.
Instead , I put my lights on and flashed them at Shayne .
Shayne pulled over on the side of 635, but I texted her instead of getting out of the car.
Me :
Pull over in the parking lot of Starbucks in front of you.
She took a few seconds to follow directions, and when she finally did, I pulled over behind her and turned my lights off.
I wasn’t surprised in the least to find a body bag in her back seat.
I walked right up to her car and said, “ You’re doing this yourself?”
She nodded, not looking at me.
“ All right, I’ll follow you there,” I offered. “ Be careful.”
She nodded her head once and then started off, not waiting for me to get into my car to follow her.
The drive to the crematorium took an hour and a half, with all the traffic.
I watched her freak out as she stopped next to eighteen wheelers and large trucks, likely freaking out that she was going to get caught with a dead body in her car.
It almost made me smile.
The GPS took us right to the front door that was slightly open as she got out of the car and froze at the front walk.
I caught her hand and tugged her inside, walking right up to the desk where a man was sitting and said, “ We’re here to bring her grandmother to get cremated.”
The man, probably in his mid-forties, looked up and studied me before turning to look at Shayne .
“ You’re Shayne Rodriguez ?” he asked.
Shayne swallowed and nodded.
“ Okay , I’ll bring a gurney…” he started, but I was already holding up my hand. “ I’ll take her.”
The man turned his attention back on me before saying, “ The side door. It’s labeled as deliveries.”
I squeezed Shayne’s hand and then walked outside where I pulled the body out of the back seat.
I couldn’t say it was the most elegant move in the world, but eventually I managed to get her out, and I wondered idly how she’d been placed in.
As I carried the bag to the side door, I brought her straight to a metal table that was next to a very large machine that was billowing smoke and fire.
It was so hot inside that I instantly started sweating.
“ How does this work?” I asked him.
He pointed at the machine behind him. “ We’ll put her body in there, then heat it. She’ll stay in there until she’s where she needs to be. From there, we move her to that machine, where we grind the rest of bones down.”
I heard a gasp, and turned to find Shayne standing there, looking ashen.
“ Um ,” she hesitantly replied. “ Can I say one more goodbye?”
The man nodded and pulled away as he went to a desk in the corner and picked up some paperwork.
I walked over to him and started filling everything out, then said, “ She has all the paperwork declaring her death.”
“ Oh , the JOP already took care of that himself. He faxed it over,” he replied.
I gave him my credit card number, then said, “ Don’t run hers.”
He looked at me, then nodded. “ Will do.”
I walked back up to Shayne who hadn’t even gotten the body bag partially unzipped before she’d broken down crying.
I wrapped my arms around her, realizing that she had, indeed, lost weight since I’d last seen her, and curled her up tight, exactly where she should have been since the beginning.
I fucking hated myself.
I hated myself even more that she started to cry harder the moment my arms cocooned her small form.
“ Soleada , I’m so, so sorry,” I whispered into her hair.
“ It’s okay,” she keened.
“ It’s not,” I consoled. “ I should’ve been there. I’m so sorry.”
I didn’t even know, which made it so much worse.
“ I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to know.” She sniffled into my chest.
God , she sure knew how to break my heart with her words.
The lowest of low blows were only accomplished when Shayne was the one making them.
“ I’ll do better,” I told her quickly. “ I’ll be here every step of the way.”
If you let me.
“ Quinn ,” she said softly once her sobs had absolved into nothing more than hitches of breath. “ I just… I need time. I need space. I need… I need…”
She couldn’t finish.
But I knew what she wanted. She needed me to leave her alone.
And I’d do that.
I’d fuckin’ do that for real.
What I wouldn’t do was stop keeping an eye out for her. Not ever.
“ Okay ,” I said softly. “ Let’s get your Nonna taken care of, then I’ll leave you alone.”
I unzipped the bag and blanched myself at seeing the usually vibrant woman so pale and gray.
“ I love you, Nonna ,” Shayne whispered. “ I’ll miss you so bad.”
My stomach and heart landed somewhere around my knees as I listened to her say goodbye.
When she was done, she walked away without looking back.
Leaning my hands on the metal table, I stared at the woman who’d loved me despite my letting her granddaughter go.
Why hadn’t she told me?
I’d thought we’d had a great relationship.
But I adored the fact that she’d chosen her granddaughter over me.
“ I’ll take care of her, Nonna . If it’s the last thing I do,” I whispered darkly.
Pulling away, I left the bag as it was, then walked back up to the man who’d just said goodbye to Shayne .
Shayne disappeared outside into the parking lot, and I stopped at the man’s desk.
Looking outside, I spotted her dropping down into her car.
I waited for her to shut her car door before I turned to the man who’d taken delivery of Nonna’s body.
“ I want the nicest fuckin’ urn you can find to put her in,” I said. “ When she’s done, you call me. I’ll hand deliver her back to Shayne .”
The man nodded.
“ Thanks ,” I said and handed him my card.
His eyes lit as he said, “ Gang division?”
I nodded.
“ I used to be in a gang,” he said. “ Some officer got me out. Told me I was wasting my life away. Told me I had so much I could offer this world.” He looked up. “ Germaine Carter . You know him?”
I nodded, tapping my own name badge. “ Quinn Carter . Germaine’s my dad.”
He flashed me a smile. “ Your dad saved me. Tell him thank you again.” He looked up. “ I wouldn’t own this place right now if he hadn’t.”
With that, I gave him a nod, and then I left.
When I got outside, it was to see Shayne’s car still in the parking lot.
She was crying her eyes out.
I forced myself to go to my cruiser and stay there.
I didn’t leave until she did.
And every fuckin’ tear that left her eyes ripped my heart out.
It was as I watched her swiping away tear after tear that I made a decision. I would fix this.
If she let me.
I had tried. I tried and I tried and I tried. And failed to convince her to give me a second chance.
She never gave it, but I was going to try harder now. I had nothing left to lose.