Chapter 15
Arthur
Returning to the university is a necessity, not one I’ve ever minded before. I quite like my lectures, as well as my position as a professor.
But being away from Charlie for the first time since our wedding is proving far more difficult than I had imagined. And it’s only partway through day one.
After our shared breakfast, I took my leave, as is custom.
Yet with every passing minute the coachman brought me further away from the manor, I felt as if a string were being stretched taut between Charlie and myself.
I only hoped he didn’t feel it, too. Preparing my materials was an exercise in focus, one I felt I was failing as my thoughts continued to wander back home, time and time again.
Even now, with my final lecture all but concluded, I can barely keep from running for the door, anxious to see for myself that all is well, even though I know, surely, it must be.
This unease will pass. I know it will .
But I do so wish Charlie could be here with me as he ought to be. Not back at home, confined to the walls that will keep him safe.
A few of my students come to me after I’m done lecturing with questions on the material. I do my best to be patient, taking the time to answer them fully. Even so, it’s an immense relief when I finally exit the door of the lecture hall.
I’m nearly to my small office when I run into Mr. Valentine, Charlie’s father. I come to a slow halt, smiling as pleasantly as I can.
“Mr. Valentine,” I greet. “How do you do.”
He inclines his head in a nod. “I was hoping to check after Charlotte.” Seemingly remembering his manners, he quickly adds, “Although I trust you are well?”
“Quite,” I assure him, though I have to bite back my discomfort at hearing him calling Charlie by his given name and knowing I must do the same. “Charlotte is well, settling in and quite happy with…her new home. I’m sure she’ll be pleased to hear of your concern.”
He seems to relax at that. “Please do not take my worry as criticism, Mr. Kane. You have to understand—I love my daughter dearly. It’s why I was so grateful to know she approved of your match.”
I consider his words. “Do you truly mean that?”
“Pardon?” he asks, his surprise evident.
“You care for your daughter’s every happiness?”
“I… Yes, of course.”
I watch Mr. Valentine for any sign of dishonesty but see none. “Charlotte has mentioned fondly that she enjoyed your lessons on the stars as a child. I admit, it’s made me curious to know more. Would you have any books on the subject I could take home with me? ”
Mr. Valentine blinks before nodding once. “I believe so, yes. Would you have time to come to my office?”
“Certainly. Let me grab my belongings, and I’ll join you.”
Charlie’s father waits as I collect my coat and bag, and then I walk with him to his office far from mine.
He appraises his small bookshelf for a moment before plucking one heavily weighted book out and then a second.
After a quick glance my way, he moves around to his desk, retrieving something from inside one of the drawers.
He hands me the stack of books, a leather-bound journal set on top. His palm rests on the journal for a long beat before he finally lets go. “My personal accounts. Charlotte used to enjoy them.”
I let loose a small breath and smile genuinely at Mr. Valentine, beyond pleased to realize I have an ally in the man. At least in regards to Charlie’s personal pursuits. “Thank you. I’m sure I will enjoy them as well.”
Charlie’s father nods and leads me to the door.
“Is there anything you wish for me to pass along?” I ask before we part.
Mr. Valentine closes his eyes briefly, his voice almost wistful. “186,000 miles.”
“186?” I check.
He nods once. “Good day to you, Mr. Kane.”
I leave Charlie’s father at his office door. The walk into town takes some time, though I keep my steps brisk. I already asked for Howard, my coachman, to collect me later than normal today, despite my desire to return home swiftly. There are a couple matters I must attend to first.
The small shop that produces telescopes is near the center of town, flourishing, I’m sure, because of the astronomy department at the university.
They have several models of telescopes on display, ranging from small handheld units to those on large stands.
I find the biggest one they have and place an order.
Next, I make a stop at the theatre. I garner a curious look or two from the head seamstress, but money truly does work wonders. I acquire what I came for and head off to catch my buggy home.
My knee bounces on the ride back to the manor, my hands returning to the books from Mr. Valentine, as well as Charlie’s discreetly wrapped gift. I do so hope he likes it.
When I arrive home, it’s already suppertime. I thank Howard before making my way inside. The front of the manor is quiet, and a quick check inside the dining room confirms Charlie is absent. I have my suspicions about where he’ll be, but Bess appears before I have a chance to go check.
“Sir,” she says politely, carrying a stack of freshly laundered towels.
“Bess,” I say before she can get far. “Have you seen Charlie today?”
She hesitates before shaking her head. “I haven’t. I don’t believe he’s come down.”
My chest stutters at the simple usage of the masculine pronoun, and I give Bess a warm, appreciative smile. “I believe he may be in hiding.”
Her lips quirk slightly at that. “Anything I can do?”
I nod slowly, considering. “If he doesn’t come down tomorrow, perhaps a visit? Some subtle encouragement that he is welcome. I fear he may not believe it to be true until he hears it from someone other than myself.”
Bess inclines her head. “Consider it done, sir. Should I have supper brought upstairs tonight?”
“Yes. Thank you, Bess. For everything. ”
She smiles warmly before continuing on into the dining room, carrying the towels toward the kitchen.
I take the stairs two at a time, my heart thumping as I near our chamber. I knock once to alert Charlie of my presence, and then I open the door.
He’s sitting in his chair at the corner of the room, a book open on his lap that he must have found in the library.
I pull in a breath at the sight of him lounging so comfortably in trousers and a shirt, his hair pulled back out of his face.
His head lifts as I enter the room, a small smile lighting his lips.
I set the items in my hands onto the bed and approach.
Charlie’s welcoming words are teasing. “He returns.”
“Did you miss me, my love?”
“Oh, perhaps a little.”
Charlie lets out a startled gasp as I swoop down, hauling him into my arms. His book lands on the floor with a thud, my love laughing as he wraps his arms around my shoulders.
“I missed you greatly,” I tell him, finding his lips with my own.
He softens, every muscle relaxing as I prove how very much I yearned for him these past many hours.
Charlie speaks around kisses. “Should I expect… a mauling… every time you’re to return home?”
“Quite,” I assure him, sinking my face to his neck and biting lightly.
He laughs once more, squirming until I stop.
“I have something for you,” I say, letting Charlie lower to the floor. “Two somethings, more accurately.”
He follows me to the bed, sitting on the edge of it. “Color me intrigued.”
I pick up the books first, sliding them his way. “I had a brief encounter with your father today,” I inform him, watching Charlie’s reaction. There’s curiosity on his face, but not surprise. “I told him I was interested in learning more about astronomy. And he offered me these.”
Charlie turns his focus to the books, interest there. His fingers skate over the small leather journal before freezing. There’s an intake of breath, and then he quickly plucks it up, opening it and flipping through the pages. “This is…”
“Your father’s personal findings,” I confirm. “And the textbooks he gave me are far above a novice’s level.”
His voice is hushed, shaken. “These aren’t for you.”
“No. I don’t suspect they are.”
Charlie looks up at me, his breath stuttering.
“He asked after you,” I tell him softly. “And he told me to tell you… 186,000 miles.”
A pained smile breaks over Charlie’s face, as lovely as it is heartbreaking. He lets out a long sigh, holding the leather journal to his chest.
“What does it mean?” I ask him, running my fingers along Charlie’s neck, over the smooth skin there.
He turns his head my way, his blue eyes covered in the slimmest sheen of moisture. He blinks, and it disappears. “Do you know how far the human eye can see?”
I shake my head. “I do not.”
“Less than three miles on a clear day.” He sets the journal on his lap, running his fingers over it once more before picking up the textbooks one at a time, examining each.
“Three miles. That’s the distance from our eye to the horizon when on flat ground.
Do you know how far light travels in a single second? ”
“186,000 miles?” I guess.
He nods, drawing in a breath through his nose. “186 thousand . The world we live in is so much more vast than we can see. Imagine what’s out there, Arthur. In a time and place far from now.”
Charlie’s lips curve into a smile as he opens one of the textbooks, looking inside.
It’s all too easy to see the young child he once was, so full of wonder and a will to learn.
An eagerness that was snuffed out, confined with no room to roam simply because of the shackles we put in place upon a person’s gender assignment.
Why shouldn’t Charlie learn? Why shouldn’t anyone?
Charlie flips a few more pages before closing the book. “It was our code. 186,000 miles. It meant it was time to look at the stars.”
I give Charlie’s leg a soft squeeze, the pain of loss evident in his voice. “I think your father wants you to look still.”
He presses his lips tightly together, eyes meeting mine. “I think you’re right. You said there was a second item?”