Chapter Thirteen – Aurora
Aurora
My mother handed me a lemonade and sat down next to me on the outdoor sofa.
“It’s a beautiful evening, isn’t it?” she asked before taking a sip.
I nodded. “It is. Before you know it, fall will be here, and we’ll wish for these moments.”
“Fall was always your favorite time of year behind Christmas.”
Sipping the lemonade, I tried not to make a face. How many lemons did my mother squeeze into this? Holy cow. I’m going to have a permanent pucker.
Once I could speak, I set the drink down and smiled. “Decorating for Christmas is going to be a blast this year with the new exterior of the bookstore.”
“I have to say, I wasn’t on board with your decision to update the shop, but you did an amazing job. I love that you can see all of the books. People know it’s a bookstore now!”
I laughed softly. “Yeah, it’s been a pain in my ass, but it was worth it. I’ve been thinking about something. Brystol has a store cat, and people love it. What do you think about getting a store pet for the bookstore?”
“A store pet? Would they stay at the store all the time?”
“No, I don’t think so. I’ll bring it upstairs with me each night. Or maybe I can put in a cat door and it can make its way to and from when it wants.”
“That might be a good idea,” my mother stated. “The kids would love it at storytime.”
“I think it would be a nice addition to the store, and I’ve always wanted a cat.”
She frowned. “Is that a jab at your father and me?”
I laughed. “No! It’s just I’m grown up now and if I want a cat, well, I can get a cat!”
She rolled her eyes. “You have always wanted a cat since you were old enough to ask. A white cat. With blue eyes.”
“What are the chances a white cat will be at the shelter?”
With a huff, she replied, “Slim to none, darling. What about people with allergies?”
“They don’t have to pet the cat if they don’t want to.”
“Fair enough.”
Turning in my seat, I tucked my legs up under me. “So you think I should do it? I should go to the shelter and get a cat?”
Her smile was warm and comforting. “What is the real reason you want a cat?”
I exhaled. “Is it that obvious?”
“You showed up at our doorstep today, declaring you wanted to spend a few days with us. You’ve been avoiding phone calls all day, and your sister sent a warning text that you were heading our way to hide out.”
My head drew back. “I’m not hiding out! And Lou is a traitor.”
Reaching for my hand, my mother lightly squeezed it. “She isn’t a traitor. She loves you. And she knows you better than you know yourself.”
I screwed up my face. “She does not.”
“She told me she thinks you’ve fallen for Liam Turner.”
My eyes widened, and I blinked a few times. What would my mother think knowing I’ve fallen for a guy who just lost his wife? Would she think less of me? No, not my mother.
“I’ll take your silence as my answer.”
“I’m not in love with him, if that’s what you think. I care about him a lot and yes, my feelings go deeper than friendship. Well, I did care about him. Now all I want to do is forget he ever existed.”
She dropped my hand. “Ouch. What happened?”
I slowly shook my head. “It’s such a long story, Mom, and I don’t have the energy to tell it.
My thoughts are all jumbled in my head right now.
That witch of a nanny he hired told me something that I believed at first, but after thinking about it, I think she might have lied to me.
But she knew something that she couldn’t have known unless Liam told her.
Something very hurtful that he said to me months ago. ”
“When you stopped speaking to him?”
I nodded.
“Tell me what happened that drove you and Liam apart.”
I gave up, realizing I needed to tell my mom.
She was my biggest cheerleader, and she may have insight that I hadn’t thought about.
So I proceeded to tell my mother about the day in March, right after Hope died and what Liam had said to me.
I told her how we hadn’t talked for months and had recently called a truce.
He apologized, and we moved on as friends.
“Then, Kim, the old girlfriend who was hired to be the nanny, enters the scene.”
My mother’s brows lifted. “That spells trouble.”
I nodded. I told her all about my encounters with Kim, including how she kept me from seeing Winnie, movie night, and how Kim had told me that Liam had told her what Hope said about me.
And then I told her how Kim said they reconnected again and were a couple, which I did not believe for one second.
“Mom, I’m not trying to replace Hope. I care deeply for Winnie. How could I not? I’ve been helping out with her since she was one. Hope and I became good friends, and I thought Liam and I were friends as well. I did not have feelings for Liam when Hope was alive. I swear to you, I didn’t.”
Taking both of my hands in hers, she gave me a smile that instantly calmed my racing heart. “You don’t have to defend your feelings, Aurora. I believe you, but even if you had, you would never have acted on them.”
“Never! And I wouldn’t now.”
Her brows drew down in confusion. “What do you mean?”
I closed my eyes and sucked in a breath before letting it out.
“I can’t deny that my feelings for Liam have changed, and I’ve been trying to deny it.
I love Winnie with all my heart. But what I feel for Liam is something different.
Something I’ve never experienced before with a man, and it’s confusing the hell out of me. ”
“Love for a child and a man are two different things, Aurora. You’ve been in love before, I’m sure you would recognize it.”
I let out a humorless laugh. “Yes, and look what that brought me.”
“Not all men are going to cheat. Not all men are bad. Look at your father! Your brother.”
With a nod, I said, “I know that. And I care for Liam, but Mom, he lost his wife, the love of his life. I don’t want to compete with someone who isn’t here any longer. I can’t compete with a ghost. That may sound cruel, but I want…I want…I want a love like you and Dad have.”
“Are you saying that you believe Liam wouldn’t have room in his heart to love another person?”
“No, but…” I groaned. “It doesn’t even matter.
He doesn’t feel that way about me. At least, I don’t think he does.
I have to believe that he told Kim because how else on Earth would she have known?
And if he did, then that tells me he doesn’t share the same feelings for me, and I don’t blame him.
His wife passed away earlier this year. I can’t expect him to just move on and fall for me. ”
“I don’t see it that way.”
“He told Kim what Hope said about me. Even Kim thought it.”
“Do you think that is what you’re doing?”
I felt my eyes widen in horror. “No! I am in no way trying to replace Hope. I didn’t even realize I was starting to have feelings for him until the girls pointed it out, Mom.
Well, maybe that’s a lie. I did, but I was trying to brush those feelings aside.
And now that I do and know he still thinks I’m trying to replace Hope, I need to stay away. ”
“From Liam? Or from Liam and Winnie.”
Shrugging, I answered, “Both.”
“Let me ask you this,” she said as she let go of my hands. “Have you spoken to him about it all?”
“He tried to talk to me yesterday, but I couldn’t. I was embarrassed that he would tell Kim those things, and maybe a little scared of these new emotions.” I dropped my head and groaned. “I know, I’m running away, and you’re right, I came here to hide.”
“Darling, you’re always welcome here and always encouraged to talk to us about what is going on in your life. But I’m going to be completely honest with you. Ready?”
A small laugh escaped. “Ready.”
“You need to talk to Liam. Let him explain his side. He might not have told her anything.”
“But—”
She held up her finger and shook her head.
“I’m not finished. Let him tell you his side.
He has no reason to lie and that witch Kim…
sounds like she had a lot of reasons to deceive anyone she felt threatened by.
After you talk to him, whatever happens from there, you must be honest with him about your feelings. Even if he doesn’t feel the same way.”
“Which he won’t.”
Mom narrowed her eyes and sighed. “Even if he doesn’t feel the same, honesty is the key to any relationship. Whether it is friendship or more.”
I closed my eyes and felt a wave of anxiety sweep through my body. The easiest thing to do would be to avoid Liam at all costs. When I opened my eyes, I caught my mother frowning at the lemonade and pursing her lips.
“It’s sour,” I said.
“Lord, it is so bad! Why didn’t you say anything?”
With a giggle, I replied, “I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”
My mother stood, walked over to the planter filled with plants, and dumped the lemonade out.
“That was shit!”
Laughing, I said, “Mom!”
She glanced back at me. “Well, it was.”
A voice cleared from behind me, and when I turned around, I nearly dropped the glass of lemonade I had picked up to give to my mother to toss as well.
Liam stood there with a massive smile on his face. How had he known I was at my parents’ house, and more importantly, why was he here? How much had he heard? My heart did a funny little kick, while at the same time, a wave of nausea hit me.
“Is Winnie okay?” I asked.
He nodded. “Winnie is fine. She’s spending the day with her Papa and Opal.”